Yes, I know that there are a lot of these, but I couldn't resist.
An End and A Beginning
By LauraBF
Disclaimer: If you think they're mine, you're sadly mistaken. I borrowed them, hugged them, squeezed them, and called them George and then gave them back like a good girl. Seriously, Harm, Mac, and the TV series JAG belong to Donald P. Bellisario, Belisaurius Productions, Paramount Pictures, and Columbia Broadcasting Service Entertainment.
Author's Note: Ok, how could I resist? So I should probably be working on my final projects, but hey! We weren't given a lot of time to play before the series finale. I swore up and down that I wouldn't write one of these, but with such a lovely preview, how could any red-blooded shipper resist? So here's my small attempt at playing with the spoilers. This begins where the last episode left off.
"Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning,Every poem an epitaph. And any action
Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea's throat
Or to an intelligible stone: and that is where we start."
--T. S. Eliot, from "Four Quartets: Little Gidding
1345 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
Harm knew he must have a poleaxed look on his face as he read his new orders. After his six-month stint with the CIA, he'd figured that a promotion would never be in the cards for him. He looked up from the orders. "Thank you, sir," he said quietly.
The General gave him a curt nod. "It's about time you spread your wings, Captain. Colonel, Captain, as soon as both of you redistribute your cases and clean out your offices, you're free to go to get things in order so you can report to your new duty stations."
Harm stood up and came to attention. "Yes, sir," he said, hearing Mac's voice answer in kind.
"You're dismissed." General Cresswell said, then turned to the rest of the staff. Harm just stood there for a few more minutes, unmoving. "Now, I need updates on your current caseload. Commander Turner, I need you to take over as my chief of staff. Since you were acting JAG…"
Harm left the room wordlessly and turned to head towards his office. "Harm?" he turned around at the sound of her voice. There was a time when he would have automatically pulled her into him arms when she sounded like that, but those days were long gone. He hadn't known where he stood with her for almost two years. Much had changed in that time, including his temporary custody of Mattie. Shit! He'd almost forgotten her. He figured that it was a sign of getting older and not really being able to function on too-little sleep anymore.
"Yes, Mac?" he said. "I have to go try and get emergency custody of Mattie."
He could see Mac's eyes shining with unshed tears. "Harm," she said, her voice catching, "could I come with you? We don't have much time--"
He almost said no, but the thought of not having her in his life anymore stopped him. "Yes," he answered slowly. "I was thinking that maybe I could contact some people up on the Hill and pull some strings--"
"Between the two of us, I'm thinking that we have enough favors owed to us to make sure that Mattie's yours before we have to go," Mac said. "Mattie's been good for you, Flyboy."
Harm was silent for a few minutes as they completed their walk to his office. "Why?" he asked finally. "We haven't been close in a long time, and I've been pushing you away."
"Because for nine years, you've been my best friend," Mac answered softly. "Because I never want to lose you. Because I hate the thought of being separated from you. Because if you leave Mattie behind, you'll be miserable, and I can't stand that, either." Mac looked as if she were going to say something more, but didn't. "Let's make those calls."
Harm nodded slowly and picked up the phone. He dialed a long-unused phone number, then turned on the speaker phone as Mac shut his office door. "Congresswoman Latham's office," a chipper voice said.
"Is the Congresswoman available?" Harm asked.
"Tell her that Harmon Rabb and Sarah Mackenzie need to speak to her," Mac chimed in.
"Hold on a minute, and I'll see if she's available."
Harm and Mac exchanged a look. Before they could say anything, Bobbi's familiar voice came on the line. "Harm, Mac, I don't remember the two of you ever calling me before. Is something wrong?"
"In a way there is, but in a way, things are going right," Mac said before Harm could open his mouth.
"What do you mean?" Bobbi asked.
"I just got a promotion," Harm answered.
"Congratulations!" Bobby said. "So what's the problem?"
"The problem is that it involves a transfer to London--" Harm began.
"And Harm has a teenager who was his ward last year, who's in the hospital and needs him," Mac finished his sentence, earning her a glare from Harm. It had been so long since they'd done that, he'd almost forgotten how it felt.
"So why are you calling me?" Bobbi asked.
"We're calling in some favors, Congresswoman," Mac said.
"Mattie went back to live with her alcoholic biological father a few months ago," Harm explained. "But she was in an accident, he fell off the wagon, and has since disappeared. I have to report to my new duty station in three days--"
"Bobbi, we need you to help Harm get permanent custody of Mattie so that he can have her transferred to a hospital in London," Mac said.
"Harm, Mac, these things take time--" Bobbi began.
"Don't you know somebody who can help?" Mac asked. "Mattie's been abandoned again, and she doesn't have anybody else. I'm being transferred, too, so I won't be able to be here for her, either."
Harm could hear Bobbi's heavy sigh. "I'll see what I can do," she promised finally. "What state is she from?"
"Virginia," Harm and Mac answered together. "Blacksburg, to be exact," Harm added.
"I know a family court judge there," Bobbi began. "Judge Smith…"
"Constance Smith?" Harm asked.
"Yes," was Bobbi's response.
"Harm, wasn't she the one who heard the case when you got temporary custody of Mattie?" Mac asked.
"Yeah," he answered. "Please put in a call to her today?" Harm asked. "I need to get custody pretty quickly so that Mattie's not left alone."
"I can't promise that she'll help, Harm, but I'll try," Bobbi said. "You've had custody of her before, and I'm assuming since you've been promoted that you'll be able to spend more time with her, so she could agree."
"Thanks, Bobbi," Harm said with a relieved smile.
"That's all we wanted," Mac chimed in.
"We'll be out of the office, so you can reach us on our cell phones," Harm said. They ended the conversation quickly, and he surveyed his office.
"It's hard to believe that we won't be coming to work here, anymore," Mac said, echoing his thoughts.
"I know," was his quiet response. "I'm going to miss you, Sundance."
A tear escaped and rolled down Mac's cheek. It was quickly joined by another. Harm reached in his pocket, pulled out a handkerchief, and blotted it away gently. "Hey, now's not the time for tears--I'm only going to be a long plane trip away."
"Too far," Mac said with a sniff.
Hesitantly, Harm pulled her into his arms. Mac buried her face into his shoulder. "I don't want to be separated from you," she said in a voice thick with tears.
Harm kissed the crown of her head. "Come to my place for dinner tonight?" he asked. "Then we can go see Mattie together."
"Okay," she said.
"For what it's worth, Sarah, I don't want to be separated from you, either."
Mac hugged him and clung to him tightly. "Nine years," she said. "Nine years with various breaks… and it's all ending. You're the only person I've ever been able to count on for any amount of time."
"And you're my best friend," Harm whispered. "The only person I've ever cared about enough to do absolutely anything for."
"We have three days, Captain," Mac reminded him.
"We need to talk, Mac," he said. "Tonight at 1700? I'll make dinner, we'll talk, and then we can go see Mattie."
"Okay," she agreed, her eyes still filled with unshed tears. "I'd better go pack up my office."
Harm released her. "I'll see you in a few hours," he promised.
Mac nodded, turned and left the room. With a sigh, Harm pulled an empty file box out and started packing up the mementos that he had scattered around the room. He was going to tell her. She deserved to know what he'd told Mattie months ago. As she'd pointed out, they only had three days.
1640 LOCAL
NORTH OF UNION STATION
WASHINGTON, DC
Harm wrapped the last wineglass newspaper and laid it gently in the box with the others. The Navy movers were set to come and pick up his stuff in two days, so he had to hurry. Technically, he supposed that he could let someone else pack up for him, but then he'd never be able to find anything. He supposed that he was lucky that Uncle Sam was relocating him, but he didn't quite feel that way. He would have rather put off a promotion and moving until things got settled with Mattie.
Orders, however, were orders. He supposed he was lucky that he hadn't yet gotten around to taking Mattie off his dependents list. It would make it easier to see to her medical care once she was officially his. Since she'd never been off his insurance, the Navy would pick up the tab for her hospital care and physical therapy. That is, if Judge Smith awarded him custody. If Tom continued to absent himself, he decided that with Mattie's permission, he'd have to adopt her. As much as he hated to ask for help, he'd known that there was no way Mattie could be moved in her current condition without some sort of on-site care available, so he'd called his mom and Frank to explain the situation.
A part of him wished that they could be closer, but he'd asked them if they'd be there for Mac when he couldn't. San Diego wasn't really that far away from La Jolla, after all. His mother had insisted on them paying for an air ambulance for Mattie as well. Especially after he told them that there was a big chance that she'd be their only grandchild. If he could get custody, he's still have to convince her doctors.. Ififififif. It was enough to make any sane person certifiable.
And added to that was the fact that he was planning on telling Mac how he felt about her before they left for the hospital. He'd managed to admit it to Mattie--it was time Mac knew, as well. He couldn't give up his career because he needed the medical insurance for Mattie, but he had to know if there could be a future for himself and Mac. They wouldn't be the first couple in the military to be assigned to different parts of the world if it worked out.
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Harm went to answer it, and wasn't surprised to see Mac. "You're early," he said with a smile.
Mac returned his smile. "Aren't I always?" she countered.
Harm moved a box off his couch and gestured for her to take a seat. "Sorry about the mess," he said.
"It's okay," she said. "I've been packing up, too." Mac took a deep breath. "Something smells good."
"Yeah," Harm said, feeling awkward. "It's a casserole I had in the freezer. Since I can't take it with me--" he shrugged. "I'll probably donate the food in my fridge to Bud and Harriet. No use letting it go to waste."
"Sounds like a good idea," Mac admitted. "I may have to ask them if they can use the stuff in my fridge, too." She eyed his shirt for a minute. "Interesting choice, Harm. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you were trying to scare me away."
Harm chuckled. "Mattie gave it to me."
Mac nodded wisely. "I understand--you have to wear it for her." She flashed him a grin. "Chloe gave me some stuff like that."
Harm sat down on the couch next to her and reached for her hand. "Mac," he began, taking a deep breath. "There's something that I haven't told you that I probably should have a long time ago."
Mac put her free hand on his chest. "Is everything all right?" she asked. "You're not sick or anything are you?"
"No, I'm not sick," he said, reaching out to cup her cheek with his free hand. "I should have told you this a long time ago. I knew from the first few months that I knew you."
"What's the matter?" she asked softly, moving closer to him. "From the sound of things, you've had nine years."
"Maybe I just needed a deadline or something." Harm leaned a little closer. "I love you, Mac." He kissed her gently at first, afraid that she might pull away. When she didn't resist, he pulled her into his arms and deepened the kiss. Their tongues tangled, sliding together as if to memorize the taste and texture of each other. With a low groan, Harm pulled her closer, holding tightly to her as if he could never let go. The kiss escalated, quickly spiraling out of control as the two of them strove to get closer; to say in that one kiss what they hadn't managed to say in the nine years they'd been partners and best friends. Slowly, they broke off the kiss, panting from lack of air. Harm hauled her closer so that she was leaning against his chest.
"I love you too, Harmon," she said. "What are we gonna do about us? I mean, you're going to London, while I'm bound for San Diego."
"I don't know," he admitted. "I just know that I don't want to go without you."
"I don't want to be in San Diego unless you're with me," she said.
"We could flip a coin," he suggested. "I've got my JAG HQ RMO in my pocket--we could use that."
Mac's mouth quirked into a crooked smile. "Let JAG decide our fate even though it got us into this mess?"
A wide grin spread over Harm's face. "It does have a little irony to it, doesn't it? Heads, you come with me, tails, I come with you?"
Mac rolled her eyes. "I guess."
Harm reached into his pocket and pulled out the special RMO that Meg had given him for Christmas they year they'd been partners. He flipped it and waited until it came down. Mac looked at it and smiled. "Guess I'm coming with you." She took a deep breath. "I would've volunteered anyway--you're going to be a pay grade over me, so it's a better choice. Besides, I won't ask you to give up your career again."
"Do you know now why I resigned my commission to come after you?" he asked softly.
Mac picked up his hand and pressed a kiss into his palm. "Yes," she answered. Her stomach rumbled, interrupting them. Mac stifled a giggle. "Guess that means that you should feed me, Sailor."
Harm released her, stood up, and held out his hand. "Dinner should be ready by now." She took his hand, stood up, and they walked over to the table together.
Mac raised an eyebrow as she caught sight of the paper plates and plastic utensils the table was set with. "Go a bit crazy with packing?" she asked.
"Yeah," he admitted. "I packed all my dishes before I thought about it. At this rate, I'll have everything packed tomorrow."
"At least it's only for a few days," she commented as she served out healthy portions of casserole. Harm grabbed a couple of bottles of water out of the fridge and tossed her one. She caught it neatly and patted the seat next to her.
"Yeah," he said. They concentrated on eating for a few minutes in companionable silence.
"I'll reserve my commission tomorrow before the going away party," Mac said, pushing her plate away.
Harm looked up from his plate. "Let's get married," he said. "This is permanent, and it's time that everyone knew that. There won't be any questions about why you're following me this way."
Mac reached for his hand. "Are those the only reasons?"
"I said it once before," he reminded her. "I love you, Sarah. I never want to wake up without you beside me again. I want us to raise children and grow old together. That is, if you don't mind that Mattie comes along too--I'm afraid that we're a package deal."
Mac hesitated. "There's something I never told you, Harm. Last fall, the doctor told me that I have a less than five percent chance of having a child. We may not be able to have babies together."
Harm leaned in and kissed her softly. "Then we still have at least a four percent chance. And we can adopt more kids like Mattie who need a family."
"Is that why you took her?" Mac asked, extracting herself from his embrace and picking up the plates to throw in the trash.
"Partly," he admitted. "She reminds me of you.
Mac came back from clearing the table and kissed him. "Let's go see her and ask if she wouldn't mind us adopting her."
Harm stood up, grabbed his keys, and together, they headed out to his Lexus to make the long drive to Blacksburg.
2036 LOCAL
BLACKSBURG MEMORIAL HOSPITAL
BLACKSBURG, VIRGINIA
Mac stopped outside Mattie's door. "Harm, you go in, and I'll see if I can find out when we can transfer her to London."
Harm squeezed her hand. "I need to get her registered there, first--I've been looking into it, and Chelsea and Westminster Hospital looks like the best option."
"I'll find out," Mac promised, then kissed him on the cheek. "You go talk to Mattie. She's old enough that they'll want to know who she wants to live with."
Harm nodded, released her hand, and went into Mattie's room. "Mattie?" he called.
"Harm!" Mattie's face broke into a wide smile.
"How are you feeling, Princess?" he asked.
Mattie's face fell. "I can feel the blankets on my legs," she said. "But the doctor told me that I might never get to fly again." She looked up at him, her big blue eyes swimming with unshed tears. "I want to be just like you, Harm. You're my hero."
Harm sat down beside the bed and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. He'd spent more time wiping tears away from his girls in the past day than he had in the last six months. "Mattie, I hope you'll be better than me," he informed her. "By the time you're my age, I hope that you'll be married with some kids and that you'll be happy." He took a deep breath. "Princess, I've got some news."
"Is it about my dad?" she asked cautiously. "He's abandoned me again, hasn't he?"
Harm took Mattie's hand in his. "No, it's not about your dad. I got a promotion, Mattie."
Mattie gave him a tremulous smile. "So you're a Captain now?"
Harm nodded. "It comes with a new billet--in London."
"So you're leaving me, too?" Mattie asked, her bottom lip trembling.
"No, sweetheart, I'm not. If you say it's okay, I got a call on the way over here--we've got an appointment with Family Court tomorrow and I'm suing for full custody." Harm gave her hand a squeeze. He wanted to hug her, but was afraid of causing more damage.
"What about my dad?" Mattie asked.
"Mattie, if social services found out what happened, his parental rights would most likely be terminated; it doesn't look good for him to have fallen off the wagon and left you here for weeks without checking in." Harm hated to tell her that, but she'd already chided him on lying to her about Tom. He wouldn't do it again--as much as he wanted to protect her, there were times that he couldn't.
"So you'd be my dad?" she asked.
Harm nodded. "If it's all right with you, we'd like to adopt you."
"We?" Mattie questioned.
"I just asked Mac to marry me," he admitted. "We're getting married tomorrow--after family court--so that she can come with me after I ship out. If the doctors say that you're stable enough, we've got an air ambulance ready to take you with us."
"What about Colonel Mackenzie's job?" Mattie asked.
"She's reserving it, Mats. She hasn't told me all the reasons… we flipped a coin, and she said that she would have volunteered, anyway."
Mattie gave him a suspicious look. "You used your double-headed JAG HQ RMO, didn't you?"
"What?" Mac said, coming up behind them.
Harm had the grace to look sheepish as he pulled it out of his pocket and passed it to Mac. "I didn't want to take any chances," he admitted.
Mac examined the coin and smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "Good thing I would've volunteered anyway."
"Why, Colonel?" Mattie asked. "You barely know me."
Mac smiled. "I'll get to know you better, Mattie. And I just happen to love this lunkhead. I heard the whole thing, by the way. I'm reserving my commission because while I love the Marines, they were never a life-long dream like the Navy was with Harm." She reached for Harm's hand and laced her fingers through his. "We're in this together, Mattie. I know I can't replace your mom, but can you accept us as your parents? Are you okay with us getting custody?"
"You made a good dad, Harm--despite being gone so much." Mattie hesitated. "Are you sure you want a crippled teenager for a daughter?"
"I love you, Mats." Harm said. "If none of this had happened, I'd still think of you as my little girl." He reached over to bush a curly strand of hair from her face. "If you never manage to climb out of bed again, I'll still think of you that way. We're family now, Princess."
A lone tear rolled down Mattie's face. Harm reached over and wiped it away. "Thank you," Mattie said softly.
Harm smiled at her, then looked up at Mac. He had a family again. He'd been pretty lonely since Mattie had gone back to live with Tom. It was nice to know that sometimes doing what was right gave you results that were easier to live with than he'd previously thought. It was nice to know that he wasn't destined to be alone.
THE NEXT DAY
0800 LOCAL
BLACKSBURG FAMILY COURT
BLACKSBURG, VIRGINIA
Harm and Mac stood together, waiting for the judge to say something when she looked up from the file. "Captain Rabb," Judge Smith said finally.
"Ma'am," Harm said politely.
"I saw you in here a little over a year ago, petitioning for the custody of this same minor. At the time, I was doubtful of both your ability and the feasibility of a bachelor taking custody of a fifteen-year-old girl."
"Yes, ma'am." Harm said respectfully. "Mattie lived with me for eight months. And if you'll look at the social worker's reports, she was back in school and making straight A's while in my care." He resisted the urge to reach for Mac's hand, because they'd worn their uniforms to court.
"I see that she has since gone back to live with her biological father," Judge Smith observed. "Why are you petitioning for custody now?" she asked.
"Captain Rabb and I want custody because her father abandoned her, Ma'am." Mac broke in. "Mattie was in an accident and is currently in the hospital recovering from her injuries."
"Tom Johnson hasn't been seen for weeks," Harm said quietly. "Mattie needs stability, and my fiancée and I can provide her with that. I'll be leaving for my new posting day after tomorrow, and I want to take her with me. She doesn't need to be bounced from foster home to foster home in her condition. Especially not when Colonel Mackenzie and I are willing and able to care for her--I've been making arrangements for her care in case you grant our petition."
"I see." Judge Smith looked through the papers once more, then signed some of them. "Petition granted. Because of his obvious abandonment of the minor, Mattie Grace Johnson, her father's parental rights are hereby terminated and your request for full custody is approved." She looked over the top of her glasses at them. "
Since I have a letter from Mattie asking for this, and all the paperwork in front of me, and Mattie's social worker has agreed to count her time living with you as the grace period, I'm also going to approve your adoption of her. It is the ruling of this court that Mathilda Grace Johnson is now the official daughter of Harmon Rabb Jr. and Sarah Mackenzie." She smiled at them briefly, and handed the paperwork to her clerk. "You two are planning on getting married soon, aren't you?"
Harm flashed her his biggest flyboy smile. "Have some spare time today, Judge Smith?"
"Harm!" Mac hissed. "What about our friends? Your mother is going to kill us!"
"She'll forgive us once she finds out the circumstances," he said softly.
The judge cleared her throat. "Do you have the license?" she asked. "I happen to have a few minutes…"
Harm opened his briefcase, pulled it out, and handed it to the clerk. It wasn't long before he found himself repeating the words of the civil ceremony. The next thing he knew, he was kissing Mac.
"Congratulations," Judge Smith said as they broke off the kiss. "You're a family."
They thanked her quietly and walked out the door. "Mac, I have something for you," Harm said. He helped her into the car, then reached into the glove box and pulled out a worn, black velvet box. He opened it up and pulled out an old solitaire diamond ring. "This was my Grandmother's," he explained. "She gave it to my father to give to my mother, and Mom gave it to me to give to whoever I asked to marry me." He slipped it on her finger. Not caring who might be watching, Harm leaned in and gave her a kiss.
Mac stiffened slightly, then relaxed into it. She ended the kiss after a few minutes and pulled back. "We're in uniform, Harm," she reminded him.
Harm's eyes darkened with desire. "Then let's got tell Mattie that she can be Mattie Rabb now, and go home to celebrate."
"Whoa! Power down, sailor," Mac said with the crooked grin that he found so alluring. "I have to go talk to the General and reserve my commission first, remember? And we still don't have wedding rings, and--"
Harm sighed. "You're no fun," he said with a pout. "I'm giving you fair warning that I intend to ravish you at the first possible opportunity."
"Don't make a promise you can't keep," Mac said, her eyes dancing with mischief.
"I haven't yet," he said with a dazzling flyboy grin. He hadn't known when he'd gone to staff call the day before how fast his life would change. Now that it had, and he was looking at a whole new future, he wouldn't have it any other way.
End.