Chapter Twenty: Affection Will Always Be An Issue
When you awake completely entangled with someone, it's quite a fright at first. But when you see that person peacefully sleeping on your chest all your fears just melt away. I was happy… truly happy.
I lazily reached out for the clock, my movement being restricted by Edward. 12 o' clock? I stared at the clock with confusion and dropped it on the floor, being too lazy to put it back. Okay now I was surprised. Well not exactly surprised on my behalf, I could sleep all day. But Edward… in all my time with him I had never seen him sleep past seven, and if he did he panicked. So why today? Why now?
I closed my eyes with a sigh. Edward's arms where wrapped around my waist firmly and my legs were lost in between his somewhere, our bare skin close together. Ed's really going to freak if he finds out he has wasted half the day... I really should wake him up… but if I pretend to be asleep he won't blame me for it, but he will still be upset… OH WHO CARES! Hell I'll be upset if he gets up!
As if almost on cue, Ed tightened his grip on me. I began to worry that I had said all that screaming out aloud and tensed.
"Morning…" Ed muttered rolling off me slowly.
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and smiled. "Afternoon." I said without thinking. He screwed his face up for a moment in what seemed like confusion but continued to rub his eyes and wake up from his sleep. When I received no reaction from him I ran my fingers gently down his chest. "Did you sleep well?" I asked, watching with fascination as his hair fell down lightly across his chest. It had grown longer…
"Did you?" He asked with a sigh of annoyance.
"I asked you first." I replied with anger, he gets so snappy.
"Well not really, considering the fact you were touching me all night. You wouldn't leave me alone." Ed mumbled under his breath.
"Excuse me and you were the innocent one?" I asked with mock horror. Oh no he definitely wasn't innocent; I knew what was running through his dirty mind when he traced my curves with his lips…
His cheeks suddenly turned a deep red and I realised Ed was always going to be embarrassed over these types of emotions, maybe I was the first person he had experienced them with. "You made me touch you; you begged to sleep with me." Ed stated. I huffed with disbelief and rolled over turning my back on him.
"Fine."
"Oi don't be like that." He said with unsettle, I chose not to answer and stuck my nose up in a snobbish matter. Then I suddenly felt his hot breath against the back of my neck and shivered, the warm and cold creating a wanted pleasurable sensation. He kissed the back of my neck gently, giving affection to all parts of my back before I even thought about forgiving him. I moaned inwardly as his hot lips caressed me and warned him that he had better stop before I got out of control.
"I'm still so tired how early is it?" Ed said closing his eyelids once I had allowed him to rest on my bare chest once more.
"Oh it's about 12:30 now…" I said, slightly surprised. I had completely forgotten about the time.
"12:30…" Ed mumbled. He suddenly rose up and ripped the bed sheets off me abruptly, exposing my bare body. I wanted to yell at him but I knew he was angry at himself. "THAT'S CRAP!" Edward panicked running around the room. "You did it on purpose you left the blinds down so I would think it's still early!" Ed said to himself dressing hastily. I rolled my eyes and fell back onto the bed.
"And when I don't shut them you bloody complain." I said barely audible as he busied himself with collecting books.
"Were not sleeping together anymore, you demon-ness!" Ed said with infuriation slamming the door behind him. That comment felt like someone was kicking me in the gut. But I quickly got over it when I realised Ed would completely melt once he put his hands on me. Men are pathetic. I laughed to myself.
I decided to laze a little longer, feeling the lingering warmth of our body heat on the sheets. I dozed a few times, and was awoken every time the sun peaked out from behind a cloud and shined brightly on my face, even through the blinds. I cursed the sun under my breath, but couldn't find the strength to rise from my bed due to the utter peace I was feeling inside. Ed was so wonderful; I could only find myself sighing to sleep in my completely naked state.
I finally felt my stomach rumble and sighed, wrapping the sheet around me before I opened the door. Just as I suspected, Ed had his head dug into the books, one of the reasons I didn't bother getting dressed. I tiptoed over to the fridge and sighed as I gathered the sheet at my chest, holding it to my body loosely. When I gathered some milk and fruit I placed it down at the opposite end of the table and stared at Edward for a few seconds, what he did next, freaking surprised me.
"You slept late…" He said with a tone of morbid humour evident in his voice. I smiled despite the fact his head was still buried in the book. He initiated conversation?
"Would you like some lunch Eddyyyyyy?" I grinned poking my tongue out at him. He raised his head from the book suspiciously and peered at me from the top. He then blushed quickly and dug his head back into the paper, although this time I doubted he was reading… he seemed to be using it as a shield, either that or to hide the huge blush creeping up on him. I sighed and moved closer to him slightly.
"Put some clothes on." Edward said, not that I heard it too clearly due to the fact he had his head buried in a book. I giggled and twirled around in the sheet-dress after he raised his head slowly. "We're not a married couple." He said angrily, stubbornly looking away.
I grinned at him and took a large gulp of my milk. "I guess that means your hungry right?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. He looked up at me again the blush fading away slightly. When I got no reaction but an intense stare, I sighed and headed into the kitchen, grabbing some food. I found I had to sort of tie the sheet around myself because I couldn't be bothered holding it up to myself the whole time. I handed the plate to Ed who thanked me.
"But it's almost dinner time…" Ed sighed.
"It's only Three!" I replied furrowing my eyebrows lazily.
Ed turned the page in his book and took a bite of his apple. "Honestly you're so lazy." Ed grinned flashing me a smile before returning to his book.
"Am not!" I sulked. The fruit was delicious and fresh and I suddenly wondered how it got there. I finished the piece of mango I was eating and stared at Ed curiously. "Ed… did you go shopping for me?" I asked with a slight blush.
He looked up from his book with a slightly confused face. "Sorry what was that?" He asked awaiting my reply.
"Did you go shopping for me?" I repeated, blushing a deeper shade of pink now that his golden eyes were upon me.
"Well… Nelly came over to see how I was doing, she wanted to talk to you as well but you were asleep, so I asked her if she wanted something to eat… but of course the fridge was bare." He sighed at me with a small smile. "Then Nelly said it would be a nice thing to do for you if I went shopping." He watched me curiously awaiting my reaction.
"But Ed… you used my money right?" I glanced away with embarrassment and clung to the sheet tightly under the table. How embarrassing.
"No." Ed replied frankly. I looked up at him with apologetic eyes.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't leave it empty on purpose so you would use your own money please, don't think that." I looked down again hiding my head in my hands. "Oh god I don't expect you to pay for stuff like that."
"It's okay…" He said in a gentler tone than usual. "I have so much money, I don't know what to do with it and… well it's nice to do something for you, Nelly said it would make me feel better, but I wasn't sure. But when I saw you happily eating the food, I did feel better." He grinned at me but I dropped my head back into my hands again. "Your going through a rough stage, don't worry, you will get back on track soon enough."
Why don't you come over here and kiss me like a mad man and tell me that instead of all the way across the table! I fumed to myself, yet I smiled back at him because I did appreciate his words, just not his lack of affection. Will I always have to make the first moves in this relationship? Just calm down Winry you were touching him all last night, maybe he needs a bit of a break. I sighed to myself and picked up a piece of mango with the fork and shoved it into my mouth stubbornly.
"On another note, can you put some clothes on?" He smiled turning his attention towards the book again.
"Screw you!" I yelled with anger. I stood up from my chair and grabbed the plate and washed it in the skin. "Freaking idiot." I mumbled. Ed just seemed amused by my sudden outburst and chuckled to himself while reading the book. It was that stupid philosopher's stone book again. HOW MANY FREAKING TIMES IS HE GOING TO READ THAT?
I groaned and sat down at my work bench table. I wasn't going to get dressed just because he was being a jerk about it and sat there in my sheet despite the fact it was going to be hard to work in. My hair was still sprawled out across my back and I thought of last night when Ed ran his fingers through it, then angrily tied it up. But every time I tried to pick up a piece of metal and pre-make an automail I only began to smile goofily over Ed. He was so cute it made me want to squeeze him to death. He needed prompting for almost everything.
"Ed you can touch me here its okay." I whispered into his ear running my fingers through his hair. His hand slowly made its way to the place and jerked back when I let out a slight gasp.
"Sorry." He said immediately looking away from me with a huge blush.
"No Ed that feels nice." I said quickly, grabbing his hand and leading it back. He glanced up at me cautiously as he placed his hand there, searching for any reaction. "Just touch me Ed." I said angrily digging my head into his neck.
I smiled as I placed the pieces of metal together. And he was like that for almost everything, he asked permission three, if not four times before going ahead with it shakily. He even asked me if he could kiss me, when I finally rested my head back down on his. This made me smile.
"Winry…" Ed said shakily running his fingers through my hair. "Can I kiss you?"
"No Ed, what the hell do you think this is?" I said purposely angry, I thought Edward was smart enough to take a joke, but instead he stiffened.
"Sorry." He removed his fingers from my hair and struggled for a place to put his hands.
I lifted my head and looked at him with a surprised expression. "Ed I was joking…" I said with shock. I leant over and kissed him gently, enjoying the soft moans that he released. I finally pulled away and stroked some hair out of his face. "Ed don't ever ask for permission to touch me, I want you to touch me, all day, all night, just touch me." I said with a small smile. "You can do whatever you want."
"But what if I do something you don't like?" He replied running his hand down my face.
"Ed there is nothing that you could possibly do to me that I would object to." I said with an evil smile. "And that is an invitation you better take up." I rested back down on his chest, laughing at the absolute horror on his face.
It was already late into the night and I had connected a few parts here or there. Not too much really. But I had been day dreaming about the past few years alone. I remembered how lonely I felt. I remembered that I thought I was never going to see the Elric brothers again. Even though Ed was here with me, I couldn't deny how heavily Al's death affected me.
Suddenly I felt a tear fall from my eye down onto the desk. Without a second hesitation I wiped the tear from my eye, the last thing I needed was Ed to pester me about why I was crying, because I would end up telling him, then he would probably break down with me. I didn't want that. But no matter how hard I tried the tears continued to fall without a sound escaping my lips. So I sat there numbly staring straight ahead as the tears slid down my neck, falling down in between my chest.
"Whatcha doing?" I felt two arms wrap around my neck. "I finished for the night, it's late, you should finish up as well." He rested his head on mine. Whoa affection?
"I just got some ideas for an automail…" I said with some trouble. I stuttered and breathed in heavily, even though my tears weren't causing me to make a sound, talking, I found was incredibly hard.
"Hey…" Ed whispered with worry evident in his voice. He rested his head on my shoulder and pressed his cheek against mine, which I sighed over. Great, now he knows. He instantly removed his cheek and wiped it. He swung my chair around to face him and glanced into my probably red eyes with worry. He followed the trail of tears down to my chest then snapped his head back up to my face. "What's going on?" He wiped my tears away, but it was no use. I started to cry now. The sound of tearful cries of pain filled both of our ears, as I let everything out, Al, Pinako, that's what was wrong, death, destruction, loneliness… that's what is eating away at my soul.
"S-sorry I didn't want you to know I was crying, Sorry!" I cried. He looked at me with sad eyes and instantly brought my body close to his. He dug his head into my shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. Before I knew it, he had lifted me off the ground, and held me in his arms. "E-e-ddddd what are you doing?" I said with confusion. He shut up the house and walked down the hallway into my room.
After placing me down on the bed he sighed. "Look you don't have to tell me what's wrong, but if it's something serious… I think you should… please stop crying." He ran his fingers through his front hair with frustration as I stared up at him longingly, tears still flowing steadily. "Please stop, am I really that bad of a guy?" He joked, pulling the covers up over me. He kneeled next to me on the floor and took my hands in his. "I'm really not that bad am I?" He mused.
I laughed slightly then smiled at him, wiping my tears. "No you're not if you sleep next to me." I asked more seriously. He flinched a little and looked away. I looked up at him with desire in my eyes. "Please…"
"No, you are going to have a good nights sleep okay?" Ed smiled turning his slightly red face back to me. I'm not going to start crying again.
"Ed I hate being alone, I hate it so much."
"Don't worry I'll be here in the morning, I'll come in really early and bring you breakfast okay?" He grinned.
I smiled slightly at this comment but refused to give in. "Why don't you want to?"
"Because it will be the end of my life as we know it if anyone finds out." Ed said in a slight daze. He clapped his hand over his face with depression.
"Ed that's just an excuse." I sighed.
"Winry, you know how women are treated… I don't want to be like that with you, Nelly told me, that if men only care about… well I don't want anything to happen that's all… because I…" Edward looked down then buried his face in my stomach. "Forgive me Winry, if we are in a bed together… I don't know if I could… control myself." He said with shame from my stomach, his words slightly muffled. "I have bad thoughts of you Winry, and I shouldn't." He clung to my sheets, grabbing them tightly while tensing his fists.
I laid there with confusion as Ed confessed his feelings of lust towards me. I had to admit that I didn't want to give myself to him just yet, but I knew if he asked me, I would deliver within a second… but would I be happy about that?
"If I really loved you I wouldn't feel this way towards you would I?" Edward lifted his head. "I feel terrible."
I giggled. "Ed there wouldn't be much point in loving someone if you didn't want to… touch them." I replied. I looked up at the ceiling feeling myself blush as well.
"I have never looked at a woman this way." Ed said with frustration digging his head back into my stomach.
"Me also… with a man." I told Ed with a shaky voice. "We have to sort this whole sexuality issue." I sighed. "And the whole lack of affection issue through the day, yet at night…"
"It's only because I'm busy through the day." Ed said with scared eyes as he lifted his head again.
"But why do things have to be so complicated, why can't we just take things as they come, what happens, happens." I asked him. He looked down at me, his eyes almost agreeing. "I don't want to make things difficult Ed."
"I really should be going to sleep." Ed said with a slight sniff. He lifted himself from my stomach and smiled down at me. "Talk to me okay… if you're upset." He then turned to leave the room, leaving me with the most annoyed expression I think I had ever managed to pull on my face. We have the strangest relationship
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