All We Have To Fear
by Gary D. Snyder
Chapter 12:
The door to Miss Fowl's classroom shook from another heavy blow. The severe pounding had gone on for some time now and the door, although badly battered, still held. Sheen looked at the desks piled in front of it with satisfaction. "I knew a barricade would work," he said proudly.
"Sheen," Libby explained patiently, "the door opens outward into the hall. The desks aren't doing anything to keep the door from caving inward."
Sheen considered that as he gave the door an appraising look. "Good door," he remarked.
There came another violent crash against the door, but the noise was somehow different this time. Another blow, accompanied by a creaking sound, gave the explanation. The severely overstressed wood was beginning to splinter under the persistent assault and the beginnings of a gaping hole had appeared. Instinctively everyone backed away into the furthest corner of the room in time to avoid a shower of wood chips and splinters.
"He-e-ere's Johnny," muttered Sheen as a pale face materialized in the doorway. A humorless smile crossed the face as it surveyed the small group, revealing long and extremely sharp fangs. "My mistake," corrected Sheen. "It's just that vampire again."
"Did you really believe you could escape me?" the vampire asked, in a voice devoid of emotion. "No prey ever escapes my clutches."
"Hey, wait a minute!" said Libby. "I thought vampires had to be invited before they could enter a building."
"I was invited," the undead replied, "by my friends, if not yours." He looked down the hallway and his mirthless smile faded into a look of impatience. "They should be here soon," he apologized.
"The mummies!" squawked Miss Fowl. "They must have let him in!"
"Big deal!" said Sheen. "I can at least take care of this guy." He swaggered towards the vampire. "Are you ready for some more garlic?"
"No," the vampire admitted. "Are you ready for your doom?" As Sheen drew nearer a figure wrapped in rotting bandages emerged from around the edge of the doorway and shambled towards Sheen. Sheen recoiled and began to backpedal as other mummies entered the room. "I'll have no more interference from you, you foul-mouthed fool," the vampire snarled. He turned to the mummies and pointed to the humans. "Take them, my friends. But leave the woman to me."
Obediently the bandaged creatures moved towards the group, splitting them up as Sheen, Carl, Libby, and Miss Fowl attempted to keep their distance. With Sheen successfully neutralized the vampire advanced on Miss Fowl, who huddled alone in a corner. "Feel funny…" she muttered, her face to the corner. "Head…spinning…"
"You needn't fear that," the vampire assured her. "Soon you will feel…nothing."
"Afraid?" Miss Fowl repeated, and the change in her voice caused the menacing undead to halt. "Maybe Winnifred Fowl is afraid. But not…" She suddenly turned and flipped over her startled adversary head to land lightly beyond him in a martial arts stance. "…Winnie the Vampire Slayer!"
The pale face of the vampire turned even whiter as Miss Fowl seized a pointer and snapped it in two, forming a thin but nonetheless sharp and lethal looking wooden stake. "The…the Slayer," the vampire stammered as Miss Fowl advanced on him. "You're just…a legend. You…you don't really exist! You're not real!"
"Really?" Miss Fowl answered coolly. "Then I guess your opinion is a little like this pointy thing." She easily parried the undead's desperate blows and then pivoted past his guard, driving the sharpened end of the pointer into his chest. "You shouldn't stake your life on it." She stood back and dusted off her hands as the vampire slowly crumbled, first into dust, and then into nothingess, before turning to help her students.
As Miss Fowl was battling the vampire Sheen was backing away from the mummy that menaced him. "Someone! Help!" he yelped as the shuffling creature slowly closed the remaining distance to him. Overcome with terror he shut his eyes tightly against his imminent doom and turned away as an inhuman claw reached out towards him.
Several sharp reports made him jerk involuntarily as he imagined the worst. When nothing actually happened he slowly opened one eye and then the other. The mummy who had threatened him was still standing before him, but its head was missing. As Sheen watched in bewilderment the creature's body swayed and fell over backwards, the remains shattering silently into nothingness as they hit the floor. Just beyond where the creature stood Sheen saw Libby, gripping two still-smoking guns.
Carl, who had seen the whole thing, was incredulous just the same. "Libby?" he asked. "What just happened?"
"Three up, three down." Libby calmly returned the guns to the holsters strapped to her hips. "Just another day's work for Libby Croft, the Tomb Robber." She gave the room a quick once-over and nodded in satisfaction. "It looks like this chamber's clear, but there's probably others around. Let's move."
Still not sure what was happening Sheen and Carl followed Libby and Miss Fowl's lead out the classroom and down the hall to the school entrance. As they emerged two masked and robed figures leapt silently from the shadows on either side of the entrance and confronted the group, cleaving bright arcs in the air with wickedly long, curved blades. Libby drew her weapons and Miss Fowl dropped into a defensive stance, but before either could move a long whip snaked between them and wrapped around the wrists of their assailants' sword arms. A quick jerk backward on the whip tore the swords from the attackers' hands and allowed Libby and Miss Fowl to deal with their disarmed foes. As with the vampire and mummies these quickly disappeared after being dispatched.
After the short fight Libby turned to see Sheen, wearing a worn leather jacket and battered fedora, calmly coiling the whip. Sheen gave Libby a crooked smile and pulled down on the brim of his hat. "Just another day's work for Indiana Sheen," he said in answer to her unspoken question. He stepped towards her, still smiling.
Libby regarded him coolly, but with a hint of coy interest. "Your reputation precedes you. You don't disappoint."
Sheen took another step towards her. "I never do. You?"
Miss Fowl shook her head and rolled her eyes as Libby shook her head and moved even closer. "Maybe we could get together compare notes, some time."
Before Sheen could reply Carl stepped in between them. "Where'd you get the hat?" he asked, as Libby and Sheen both gave him an annoyed look. "Can I have one?"
Elsewhere in Retroville similar scenes were taking place as the monsters pursuing their intended victims found themselves confronting their own worst fears instead. Outside their house Hugh and Judy Neutron turned to face the oozing nightmare that had pursued them from Lindbergh Elementary. Sensing something wrong, the monster hesitated as Judy marched towards it.
"Try to ruin our lawn and terrorize us with your acid, will you?" she demanded. "Well, I may not exactly be a genius, but Mighty Mom does happen to know a thing or two about chemistry from preparing three wholesome, nutritious meals every day." She extended her arms, revealing a spray gun in each hand. "Eat baking soda, you foul creature!" The creature writhed in torment as the powerful spray of soda neutralized its acidic secretions and enveloped it in a mass of choking foam. Slowly the pile dwindled and eventually disappeared, leaving no trace behind.
"Way to go, Sugar Booger!" Hugh exclaimed. "I should have remembered that myself."
"Our job here is done, Lint Boy," Judy replied dramatically. "Our house is once again safe and germ-free."
The two stood silently for a few moments, looking about them. "So, now what?" asked Hugh.
"I suppose the world will be safe for a few minutes," Judy answered. "Do you feel like a few moments of quality time in the Utility Closet of Solitude?"
Hugh took her arm and led her towards the house. "I thought you'd never ask."
At the Candy Bar several cornered children cowered as a group as the huge spider that had frightened Libby, or one much like it, moved towards them. It was interrupted by a voice from above.
"Hey, Daddy-Long-Legs!" the voice called. "You call yourself a web-spinner? I got your webbing right here, yeah!" Thin streams of silken material shot down, covering the spider's eyes and blinding it. Seconds later a rather rotund figure in a red and blue costume swung down beside it, seized it by one of its flailing legs, and tossed it away from the astonished children. "You might be the top bug somewhere else," he challenged the huge arachnid as he moved in to finish it off, "but you're up against the amazing Spider-Sam now, yeah!"
The children watched in amazement as the colorfully garbed figure made short work of webbing up and subduing the spider. When the monster had faded away and the masked hero had swung off, the young people looked at one another. "Who was that masked man?" one of them asked in awe.
Another shook her head in wonder. "I don't think we'll ever know," she answered in a hushed voice.
One after another the creatures that the phobifier had unleashed on the citizens of Retroville met their end, as the device that had brought them into being now created the means of their destruction. Carl's parents brought down a pair of werewolves with utensils from their wedding silverware set. A roaming ghost was sucked up by Mrs. Folfax wielding her portable vacuum cleaner. Mr. Estevez destroyed a gang of zombies with the rays of his sunlamp.
As calm and normalcy returned to the town Libby, Sheen, Carl, and Miss Fowl studied their surroundings with satisfaction. "I guess that wraps up just about everything," Sheen remarked as he pushed his hat back on his head.
"Just about," agreed Libby, holstering her guns.
"I'd say so," said Miss Fowl.
"Although," put in Carl, "I still wonder what happened to Jimmy." Before anyone could speculate on this an inhuman scream from Poultra echoed through the night. As it faded away Carl added, "I think we're going to need him."
End of Chapter 12
Author's Notes:
With a story like this the individual battles could take chapters to relate. Rather than bog things down I thought it was simpler (and hopefully more effective) to use the time-honored device of detailing a few fights and quickly summarizing the rest to give a little more depth. It loses something in the scope but helps the story move along a bit more quickly.
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