Forgiveness 2

Disclaimers: I don't claim any of these characters as my own. Please forgive any medical inaccuracies.

Spoilers: Cruz does not exist in this universe. Takes place after the start of season 4.

Summary: Shippers beware; Faith and Fred are a somewhat happily married couple in this story.

When I got home it felt like I had just worked a double. I dropped the keys on the table and flopped on the couch. I was debating how I was going to handle this mess. Maybe, I should speak to Bosco's mom but she was probably in worse shape than he was. Or, I should tell Lieu to take Bosco off patrol. Either way, he would end up hating me. Hell, he acted like he did already.

"Hey hon, what's wrong." It was Fred. He had padded in from the bedroom. He must have been sleeping because he rubbed his eyes. He sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. I buried my face into his chest. I just wanted everything to be the way it was before.

"It's okay," he whispered. He rubbed my back and held me close and I wanted to believe him but more than anything I wanted time to stop. I wanted the world to come to a stand still. I wanted to feel in control.

"You want to tell me about it? Did something happen." He studied my face worriedly.

I felt the anger and the worry and the fatigue welling up in me and spilling over in my words. "Yeah, what do you think always happens to me, huh?" I stared back at him, waiting for an answer that wasn't coming. "Well you know what Fred? You're right about everything. You were right all along because I need to stop worrying about Bosco and take care of myself for a change!" my voice was breaking.

Fred stared back at me with a stunned expression on his face. I had always defended Bosco to him and now I guess, his wish had come true. I was about to vent to him about my partner.

I spilled my guts to Fred about what had been going on with Bosco. He just sat and listened, nodded his head from time to time and rubbed my back. He didn't seem to take any joy in my bashing of Bosco.

" So, what do you think about that?" I said to him when I finally ran out of steam.

When Fred didn't answer me, I started in on him.

"Now, all of a sudden, you're going to take his side on this. I can't believe you Fred." I was furious. And at that moment, I felt abandoned by Fred, by my partner, and by everyone else.

"Faith, maybe you're being a little too harsh on the guy. His brother just died. You should cut him some slack," he said somewhat sheepishly.

"What are you talking about? Are you nuts? Didn't you hear a word of what I just said?" I was in utter disbelief now.

Fred took me by the shoulders and forced me to face him. He looked right at me and asked me, "Faith, why are you doing this?" he said it slowly, emphasizing each word. Something about the way he said it made me stop and think. Up until then my exhausted mind was racing non-stop trying to stay two steps ahead of Bosco, and now I was able to slow down and focus on his words. Yes, why was I doing this? Why was I tying myself up into a million knots after every shift? Why was it getting harder and harder to go to work every day?

His eyes held my gaze and I stopped worrying. I stopped thinking. I felt relief wash over me and I let go of all my anger. I let go of everything.

"I'm so scared for him, Fred. I can't help him. He won't let me help him. I'm trying to take care of both of us because I can't trust him to care of himself. But, I can't do it for much longer, I just don't have the strength." I choked out sobbing.

"Do you think he would hurt himself?" Fred pulled me back and looked genuinely concerned.

"No…no, not like that" I offered weakly. But, I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

"What do you think you should do?" he asked sincerely.

I just shook my head. I had no clue what to do. I felt confused and I didn't trust my instincts. I leaned into Fred and let him hold me.

It felt like my brain was submerged in water. Everything was moving in and out of focus. All I heard were sounds washing over me. I thought I heard someone call my name but I couldn't seem to focus on the words.

I think I was sitting in my car, but why wasn't I driving? God, it hurt to think. All I knew was the throbbing pain in my head and the knot in my gut. I tried to look out at the street signs to try and make out where I was but streaks of light seemed to pierce my brain and I had to close my eyes and pray that someone would get me home soon.

The next thing I knew, someone grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. It felt like my brain would rattle around in my skull forever. I grabbed the arm holding onto to me and tried to make it stop. Oh God, please make it stop.

I peered up and I think it was Davis. How did he find his way into my nightmare? I tried to tell him to stop. I felt my lips move but I couldn't hear any words and I was afraid that he wouldn't hear me either.

I had promised Faith that I would make sure he got home in one piece. I hung around the locker room and waited for Bosco. It took forever for him to change out of his uniform. He moved like he was sore all over. I offered to drive him home and I was surprised when he didn't decline my offer and even handed me his car keys. If he felt anything like he looked, he must have been feeling pretty crappy.

I got behind the wheel, and I felt a tinge of pride when I realized that I had never known anyone else who had driven Bosco's car.

"Bosco, what's your address?" I asked as I looked over at him.

"Bosco." He mumbled something but he looked like he was half asleep. I pulled down the sun visor hoping to find the registration. Nothing. How about the glove compartment? Bingo! I turned on the light in the car and read out the address.

"Don't worry Bosco. I'll have you home in no time." I couldn't wait to take this baby out on the road. She drove like a dream. Bosco must really take care of her. Heck, he probably treated his car better than his girlfriends.

The drive was too short for my liking. I was feeling pretty good and my luck didn't end there. Not only was I driving his Mustang but I found a parking spot not too far from Bosco's building.

"Home, sweet home, Bosco." I said as I got out of the car and waited for him on the sidewalk. I noticed Bosco hadn't made a move to get out yet, so I went around the car and opened his door.

"Come on Bosco. You're home." No response. He still seemed to be sleeping.

"Bosco, can you hear me?" I shook him gently. Something was wrong. He seemed to be out of it. Maybe, he was really sick and this had nothing to do with his recent bad mood.

He groaned and then grabbed my arm. It sounded like he was telling me to stop but it was hard to make out the words. He closed his eyes, and started to moan softly.

I was debating whether I should call Faith or just try to get him up to his apartment. I took another look at him. He looked pale. I touched his cheek and he moaned again. His skin felt hot and I knew I couldn't deal with this situation on my own.

"It's okay, Bosco. I'm just going to get you some help." I didn't know if he could hear me but I was hoping my words would somehow get through to him.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialled Alex's number.

Pain. That's all I know. It's pulsating through my eyes and neck and out into every fibre in my body. I don't ever remember feeling so much pain.

I try to open my eyes but there's too much pain. I try to turn my head but there's too much pain. I try to speak but the pain is washing over me like an ocean. I feel nauseous and all I can think about is not throwing up in my own car.

I grab the door and lean out but I have no strength to hold on and I feel myself fall to the pavement. The world spins uncontrollably and I can't tell if I'm facing up or down. I pray I'm facing down because I do not want to die choking on my own vomit.

Hands grab me, and every fibre in my body screams for mercy. Why does everything hurt so much? I feel myself being turned as I start to heave again.

Ice. God, those hands feel like ice on my face. I have to get them off me. They're burning holes through my skin. I yell to who ever will listen to let me go, but no one hears my screams.

I had turned my back to Bosco to try to get better reception on my cell phone when I heard a thud.

"Oh my God. Hold on Alex, he just fell out of the car." I run to Bosco. He's lying on the sidewalk and I can hear him heaving.

I grab him by the shoulders and pull him so that his legs are completely out of the car. I turn him over onto his side. I check his airway but it looks like he's only throwing up liquid and bile. He gasps slightly, but he's breathing on his own. I touch his forehead again. He's not supposed to feel this hot. He tries to grab at my hands but he's too weak to reach up. His eyes flutter and he starts to shiver even though he's burning up.

I grab the cell phone out of my pocket. "Alex, are you still there?" I listen for her but keep one hand on Bosco to keep him from rolling onto his back. Thankfully she is still on the line.

TBC….