Forgiveness 3

Disclaimers: I don't claim any of these characters as my own. Please forgive any medical inaccuracies.

Spoilers: Cruz does not exist in this universe. Takes place after the start of season 4.

Summary: Shippers beware; Faith and Fred are a somewhat happily married couple in this story.

I'm on the couch holding on to Fred. His arms envelope me and I feel protected. Nothing can touch me and for the first time in a long time I feel almost serene. But then the phone rings and my mind begins to race once again.

I rush to pick it up and huff into the receiver, "Bosco?"

"Faith, I didn't mean to wake you but I didn't know who else to call."

It's Ty. My blood turns to ice and I feel my heart racing as I ask, "what's wrong?"

Ty starts slowly, measuring his words. "I drove Bosco over to his place but before we even got out of the car he started to get sick and then he passed out. I'm taking him to Mercy."

"How is he now?"

Ty pauses for a long time. "He's still out. Listen, I'm almost there, I'll give you a call as soon as I know more. "

"Davis, I'm not waiting for a call. I'm on my way." I hang up the phone and turn to Fred. I feel the panic rising in my chest and start to babble, "He didn't look right tonight. I should have done something. I should have known he was sick. I need to go to Mercy. Davis is taking him there now."

The feeling of serenity is replaced by fear. My gut knows this is not good. My brain keeps replaying all the moments that confirm this to me. I berate myself for not doing something earlier. All I know is that I have to get to Mercy. Where are my keys? Why can't I find my keys? I need to be with Bosco. What did I do with those goddamn keys? I look around panicked.

"Where the hell are my keys?" I yell at Fred. I'm fumbling with my purse but I'm just going through the motion of looking for me keys my mind is reeling in another direction. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and Fred holds out my keys to me.

"Call me," he says before helping me with my jacket.

"I will," I reply breathlessly. I run out grateful he didn't try to talk me out of going.

I run into the ER and head for the admitting desk. "I'm looking for Maurice Boscorelli. He was just brought in." I don't even wait for an answer before my eyes search the lounge for Davis or Boz. No sign of either of them.

The nurse looks at her chart before replying. "Yes, he was just brought in. Are you family?"

"What? No, I'm his partner. We're police officers. Where is he?" I didn't want to play a round of 20 questions with her.

"Well, the doctor is with him now. He should have some news shortly. Why don't you wait in the lounge and I'll come and get you then."

"Where's Davis?"

"Who's Davis?" she asks while checking her charts for his name.

"He brought Bosco in. Is he still here?" I was getting impatient. I could have avoided this run around if I had brought him in myself. The nurse looks perplexed and I can feel the frustration growing in me. I turn around angrily and am faced with Ty. For a brief moment I see the relief on his face.

"Faith. Thank God you're here."

"How is he?" I search his eyes for the answer.

The relief is replaced by worry. "I, I don't know," he stammers without too much conviction.

"What happened? Tell me everything." I try to stay calm but I'm afraid my voice betrays me.

"Well, it's pretty much what I told you over the phone. I offered to drive him home and I was surprised he didn't blow me off. He slept in the car but once we got there he couldn't get out. He got sick and felt pretty feverish. He passed out so I thought it was best to bring him here and have him checked out." He fidgets while telling me all this. He turns to look at the exam room and then back to me. "Oh, yeah. The doctor wants to ask you some questions about how Bosco was feeling today. He said he would be out shortly. Why don't we wait in the lounge?" He takes me by the elbow and steers me towards one of the lounge chairs.

The wait is killing me. I keep staring at the exam room willing the door to open. Seconds feel like hours. I start to pace nervously in the lounge.

Finally, a doctor comes out and spots Davis. He walks towards us in the lounge.

Davis turns to introduce me. "Doctor, this is Faith Yokas, she's Bosco's partner. She was with him all day. I'm sure she can fill you in if you have any questions."

"How is he?" I say before the doctor can ask me any questions.

"Well, he could be better. We haven't determined yet what's causing the high fever. I'm concerned about his condition. I need to ask you a few questions to help us with a proper diagnosis."

I nod my understanding. "I'll do the best I can."

"Was he complaining of a headache, nausea, sensitivity to light, or neck pain today?"

I take a moment before answering. "Definitely yes to the headache. He seemed feverish as well. He looked like he was sore all over but he didn't specify anything about his neck. He did rest his eyes, but I thought it was due to the headache or fatigue. He threw up once, at the end of the shift but he didn't eat anything all day. I don't think he's been eating well for the last little while." I tried to think if I was missing anything but my mind was already trying to figure out the problem. "What do you think it could be?" I ask the doctor.

"My guess is meningitis but we'll have to perform a test to confirm the diagnosis. "

"Is it serious?"

"It can be. Does Mr. Boscorelli have any family we can call?"

"Ummm…he told me his mom went to visit her sister but I don't know how to reach her," I said then look to Davis for support. He just shrugs his shoulders.

"Can I see him?" I ask cautiously.

"Sure, he's in exam room 4. I'll be in there shortly." The doctor turns and walks towards to nurse's station.

I stand there while my brain is trying to process this information. I take a few deep breaths and nod my head as if to convince myself that I'm ready to see him but my feet feel like they're cemented to the ground. I'm in my own world until Davis breaks the silence.

"Faith, do you want me to come with you?" Honestly, I had forgotten he was there.

"No, it's okay." I start to will myself towards the room. I push the door open and make my way to the bed. Even before I see him, I hear him.

Bosco's breaths are fast and laboured and he sounds like he's in pain. He has a thin blanket covering him but he's shivering and his teeth are chattering.

"Boz, it's me, Faith." There's no reaction. "Boz…can you hear me?" I take his hand. I'm shocked at the heat radiating off of him and he's shaking so hard it's scaring me. I look around for the nurse.

"Excuse me. This isn't normal. You have to help him." I could hear the hysteria in my voice.

"We're doing everything we can to bring his fever down. We've just administered some more medication, it shouldn't be too long before it starts to take effect," she answers matter-of-factly. Maybe, she's used to seeing people in this condition, but I'm not, and especially not Boz.

I had to steady myself. I had to be strong for Bosco. He needed me and I had to be there for him. I lean in towards him.

"Bosco, I'm right here. I won't leave you. I'm right here," I whispered in his ear. I smooth back the hair from his forehead. He was burning up. There had to be something I could do to help him.

"Do you think I could get a washcloth? Is that ok?" I ask.

"Sure. Use lukewarm water, it might make him feel better." The nurse smiles as she hands me a small washcloth. She probably thinks I'm his wife or something.

I wet the cloth and returned to Bosco's side. The shivering and chattering hasn't subsided. I wash his face with the cloth but it only makes him grimace.

"Boz, what's wrong? Do you want me to stop?" I search his face for the answer. He tries to speak but it comes out all warbled. I can't make sense of it.

"Shhh, it's ok. I'll stop…shhh." I try my best to comfort him.

The nurse is preparing an equipment tray next to the bed as the doctor walks in. He reviews the chart and I can see the concern on his face. "Let's get him ready for the tap," he says to the nurse. She nods her understanding.

"Mrs…" he searchs his memory for a moment, "…Yokas. You can wait outside while we perform this test."

"What is it for?"

"A spinal tap is to help us determine if he has meningitis. The procedure should only take a few minutes." He notices I haven't made an effort to leave the room. "If you prefer, you can stay and keep him calm during the procedure. I'll need to extract spinal fluid and we need to make sure we keep him as still as possible."

I nod my understanding. "Yes, I'll stay. Just tell me what to do." I promised Bosco I wouldn't leave him.

We move Bosco onto his side and bring his knees up and his head down towards his chest to help expose the space between the vertebrae. By the time we get him into the right position I'm ready to cry. He's in so much pain whenever someone touches him or moves him. He tries to get away from us and the groaning is more than I could bear. I try to calm him.

"Bosco, it's almost over. I promise. It'll be over soon, please just take some deep breaths." I scan the faces of the doctor and the nurse for support but they are concentrating on the task at hand as if Bosco's pain is inconsequential.

I'm so cold. I've never been so cold in my entire life. I can't feel anything but mind numbing cold. It's in my bones, eating away at me from the inside out.

My muscles cramp up from the pain. God, please stop this pain. No more pain. I can't take this any longer.

Hands all over me. I try to get away but they're holding me down. Why do they want to hurt me? Then knives…oh God, it feels like knives…stab me...someone help me...make it stop…I can't…take it…I can't…take the pain…I can't breathe...help me…someone help me…I feel the darkness coming …but the pain is too much….and I let…I let the darkness take me.

I feel nauseous and dizzy as my senses are overtaken by the harsh sounds of his breathing and the smells of the hospital. The walls seem to be closing in on me and I can't bear to listen to his moaning anymore. "Bosco…please…please, shhh…it's almost over."

Then the doctor inserts a needle into his back and I thought I would pass out. Not from the needle, but from Bosco's cries. They cut me right to the core. He just stopped struggling and I felt my world shrink, and all I heard were his screams.

TBC…