28: A winter Season's sorrow: Fukaimori

(Disclaimer: Lost' lyrics belong to Sarah Mclachlan)

By the shadows of the night I go
I moved away from the crowded room
That sea of shallow faces masked in warm regret
They don't know how to feel, they don't know what is lost


Lost in the darkness of a land
Where all the hope that's offered is
Memories of being taken by the hand
And we are led into the sun
But I don't have a hold on what is real
Though we can only try
What is there to give or to believe

I want it all to go away I want to be alone
Sympathy's wasted on my hollow shell
I feel there's nothing left to fight for
No reason for a cause
And I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near

I wanted a change knowing all I could do was try
I was looking for someone...

Gene rose from his seat, his tanned face growing red with fury. "How dare your insult my wife with such lies, and in front of my son as well" He bellowed angrily. Une remained relatively calm despite the unnecessary display of anger from the 53-year-old man before her, Katsuya looked nervous to say the least, almost afraid of his father's temper, his short red hair made Une wonder what sort of person Margaret had been. Averting her eyes from Kasuya to Gene Une arose from her chair squaring her shoulders slightly to seem more intimidating than she would usually portray herself as, the 22-year-old noticed the slight hesitant look in Gene's demeanor knowing that her bodily performance paid off.

"Mr. Cypher, I would like for your to keep your voice down and control your temper. What kind of example are you setting for your son? Get angry the moment someone offends your relative" Une stated blandly before revealing the box that was resting on her desk behind a folder that was sitting upward, in hiding until she thought necessary to reveal. Katsuya and Gene eyed the medium sized box in question, Gene was ready to question the 22-year-old's involvement with his wife but Lady Une beat him to the punch. "These were sent to me by a storage facility in Northern Europe owned by Gravitation. There was a letter from the company stating that if anything were to happen to Margaret Cypher, it should be sent to the nearest blood relative or family she had; The Preventers HQ informed the company of her death and this box was sent to our building. Margaret clearly wanted you to have them. Inside are a few belongings she wore and a letter written personally to her son explaining everything I'd told you in brief terms" She explained smoothly.

Gene stared at the woman in separated from them by the desk for the longest time before finally realizing what she was getting at. Slamming his hands upon Une's desk Gene asked"Where's Margaret, is she okay? Answer me now, Godda" He was silenced by the innocent and eager voice of his own son, Katsuya's short red hair bounced the very moment he moved away from his father and around the table to meet face to face with Une, Lady Une tried not to point out that he was shorter than Jin. "May I see it" He spoke softly, almost hesitantly.

The brown-haired woman handed the box over to the young man letting her fingers linger upon the sides for just a minute longer, Katsuya's cold finger tips pressed against her knuckles. Katsuya's skin complexion matched the shade of his hair as he removed the box from the older woman's grasp. He used his finger nail to cut the weather worn tape and opened the box, he reached in and picked up a pair of glasses along with a letter attached to them. Katsuya opened the letter and began to read it intently, obviously recognizing his mother's handwriting, there was a sort of happy glee in his eyes that Lady Une wished she would be able to retain but knew was impossible.

Une nodded to the young man before return to his flabbergasted father who looked as though he had swallowed his own tongue. Clearing her throat Une gently pushed the man into a standing position away from her desk Gene almost snapped at the woman but the cold stare he received from her told him otherwise. "Is she dead then? My mother" Katsuya whispered roughly. Une looked to the young man once more with no remorse just pity, the 13-year-old's mouth trembled as he fought back tears that fell regardless of his wishes not to, across from them Zechs could see the boy wasn't as strong as he acted.

The young man's spirit resembled that of Quatre's without the reliance and will power that the Arabian ex-Gundam pilot had which meant Katsuya was either going to be unstable because of this or he was extremely traumatized; either way none of the chips weren't falling in Katsuya's favor. "I'm afraid so... yes" He heard Une reply meagerly. "We cremated her. Her urn inside the box. I'm terribly sorry for your loss." Katsuya's father came over to the boy as he began to sobbing Gene pulled his son close to him careful not to smash the box, Une's eyebrows furrowed in a sort of confusion Noin and Zechs only saw when she disobeyed Treize and didn't know it. Katsuya moved away from his father almost immediately whipping his tears from his face.

"- please excuse me, I really have to go" He stuttered weakly running towards the door. Noin reached out to grab him but Katsuya dodged her grasp making his way out of the office sniffling on the way out, Gene thanked Une silently and went after his son hoping he had not gone too far. Zechs stared at the double doors swing for several minutes before turing his gaze towards Une who paler than usual as she settled herself in her leather chair. Noin stepped forward from her position. "Une are you okay" She asked. Une nodded quickly turning her gaze toward the large window that gave her a view of the cloudy outside below her, Zechs' eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he remembered the last thing Katsuya had said to them before running out, there was a strange tinge to his voice that Zechs swore he had heard before although he couldn't recall it.

As he was reading to speak to Une a quick wrap upon the large office door causing all three occupants of the room to turn their heads in the door's direction as it opened. Eriol's head popped through the small opening his study-glasses slumped down on the end of his nose, Une gave the young adult a look that screamed bloody murder but Eriol managed to pretend that he hadn't seen the look and entered the room and stepped over Zechs' foot that happened to be extended in his walk path. "Ma'am, the blood tests results from the hospital came in today" He said calmly, a more mature demeanor in his voice. "I felt the need to come over and deliver them to you."

Une's brown eyes widened slightly at the news and asked the blue haired young man to come forth towards her desk, indicating that she wanted to read the results herself. Eriol frowned slightly but did not argue with her, he strode across the carpeted floor in a quick manner so he wouldn't anger the woman he was approaching with his usual slow pace, swallowing nervously he sat the paper down onto the table before making his way back to the doorway. Zechs nodded in his direction Noin did the same, Eriol sent a weary smile in their direction before vanishing behind the closing office door, Noin sighed noticing the grim expression on the younger man's face and wondered if they were too harsh on him at times than others.

Sure they all knew Eriol was as about as annoying as a the misquote you don't that's on your arm until after you realized its bitten you, but deep down everyone in PHQ knew he was a joker and loved the friendly attention he got from them, especially from his wife Jennie. At times Noin wished Zechs would want a little attention from her, but knowing him Zechs wasn't about to drop his pride and diginty and fall to Eriol's level (wherever that was). Raising her head toward her friend Une, she watched the woman's brown eyes scan the folder with such an interest it was hard for Noin to determine whether or not she would hear her question or not.

"What did the file say about Jin's blood" Noin said, sounding too eager. Lady Une shifted her eyes from the folder to Noin then to Zechs who looked about as intrigued as he would in a wax museum but she knew both wanted to know what was in the file, sighing the woman laid the folder on the table and arose from her chair. She Made her way over to the large window and gazed upon the white surroundings. "It says there are no diseases in his bloodstream, no potential diseases. However, they say the exposure to the experimental drug Cetus might have done something to his white blood cells" Une paused for a moment. "Meaning what" Was Zechs' reply. Rolling her eyes Une explained that his immune system might have been substantially weakened by the overdose of the drug.

"...Also, Dr. Stansfield stated that there was an another drug in his system but was too far gone to know exactly what it had done to him. Everything thing else it just fine. Jin's has healthy as any other teenage boy" She finished turning her gaze back to the window. Noin scratched the back of her head in question. "Do you think that drug that Dr. Stansfield couldn't figure out might have done something to Jin mentally? You know like enhanced his brain waves to that of a Gundam pilots" Noin asked, uncertain of her theory. Zechs arched an eyebrow in question wondering what the woman standing across from him was getting at, Une in turn gave Noin the same look giving Lucrezia the feeling that she was the only one thinking this. "I mean think about it; he was able to control Wing Zero as well as the ZERO system to a certain extent. No one his age could've done that, not even I or anyone else (excluding the Preventer 5 and Zechs) could control Zero no matter how our high our mentally capacity is. Its that Stratagos whatsitcalled that Eriol and Jennie told us about. That his mother created" Noin explained fervently.

Zechs nodded in agreement while Une simply stared down at her desk at the folder, sighing the woman walked back over to her desk then picked up the folder and tossed it toward Noin. The purple-haired woman caught the end folder with ease before glancing up at the taller woman across from her, Une's expression was adamant which meant something was defiantly bothering her. "Noin I want you to burn that file to ashes, Jin is never to find about this" Lady Une said sternly. Both Zechs and Noin looked as though they had been punched in the gut their eyes wide open, transfixed on the fiery brown eyes of their commander. "I will not see another child suffering because of their mother" Une snapped angrily, her emotions running high. Zechs stared at his friend as though she had gone crazy but Une did not budge nor change her mind about the decision.

"Don't make me repeat my self, do it" Noin opened her mouth to protest but decided against it and curtly left the room with the folder in hand, Zechs followed after her; the office door. Une was then left alone in her office she welcomed the silence that washed over the large room as she settled herself on the window seat, her breathing was uneasy and her mind was in a state of chaos, hiding her face in her hands the German 22-year-old began to wonder how she was going to deal with the feelings that raged inside her. She wasn't supposed to feel sorry for Margaret or her family; she got what was coming to her and yet Une could not smile about shooting her, the expression of raw pain and sorrow that she saw on Katsuya's face would not allow her to relish in the victory she won over the Mercenary. Une began to cry.

(Mountainous Chinese village):

Sally grumbled underneath her breath as she picked up the fallen stuffed animals of her small bedroom. She (or rather their parents, people Sally knew very well) had let the little girls of the village she lived in spend two-weeks in honor of her return, being the modest person she was Sally Po thought of it no big of a deal that she finally came back. Sure it had been a good year or three since the last time she saw it but Sally knew somewhere deep inside of her that she'd always come back to the place she called her home.

It was only natural and Sally couldn't argue with that. "Finally" Sally mused picking the last stuffed animal off the ground. She moved over to her bed cradling the overbearing stuffed animals in her arms some of them slipping out her grasp the quicker she moved. The 22-year-old groaned in annoyance when she felt her 'thumper' doll hit her foot then tumble onto the ground. Dropping the dolls onto her floor bed the dirty blonde doctor removed herself from her current position and went over to pick up her thumper doll; the rabbit was worn indicating he had seen better days, its carrot was dirty orange now and his fuzzy pink nose was no longer fuzzy.

"Poor thumper" Sally sighed picking it off the ground. The woman then headed back to the bed where she fixed up her dolls putting them into the hammock that hung over her head of her bed. Once she was done tidying her bedroom Sally headed towards the kitchen hungry from the work she did, Sally walked through her moderate sized living room covered in spare sheets the little girls had sleep with last night. The girl's: Wei, Jing-ma, and Alice (all of them 5 years old), adored Sally from the stories they heard from their parents and wished to learn more about the oriental woman and asked their parents if they could spend the two weeks over at her house, their parents gave them their consent and after receiving Sally's permission quickly ushered their daughters into her hands.

But much to Sally's dismay the two weeks she thought would be short were long grueling; there was never a moment's peace for the 22-year-old, Wei, Jing-ma, and Alice would constantly follow her wherever she went and demanded that they'd spend more time together if she wasn't too busy with tidying up her house despite their presence. They would drag her to the icy river bed to go 'ice-fishing' as they called it, they'd drag her to their favorite hiding places, and the list of 'fun' things to do with the girls became longer and longer. Sad to say, but Sally was feeling as though she were already 80 years old which was a bad thing on her part. Finally two weeks had passed and Sally was more than glad to send the three energy-boundless girls home packing to their families just in time for Christmas.

However, her house took more than two-weeks to restore back to its original state. Rubbing her aching arm muscles Sally picked the pot of steamy boiling water off the pale green stove and poured the heated liquid into her ghost shaped-mug. "I'll never invite children to my house again" She uttered dipping a chamomile tea bag into her cup of hot water, she watched as the leafy contents of the tea bag dyed the water before picking the mug by its handle and heading back to her living room. "I never thought children could be such a handful. Why couldn't they be more mild-mannered like that boy" Sally wondered aloud sitting down on her couch.

Her eyes scanned the surrounding living room area which was covered in mesh-type fabric and old pillows from the basement, she sighed involuntarily before catching sight of a figure slouched up against her shelf nearest to the front door. Acting on instinct the 22-year-old dropped her mug and reached for her gun that laid upon the coffee table only for her fingers to be met with the cold surface of the glass table. "Nani" She blurted before glancing back up at the figure. "Chang Wufei" The Chinese teenager opened his eyes shifting them towards Sally's surprised expression, he gave the older woman, his friend a small smile in return.

"Your door was unlocked, you should learn to lock the door behind yourself; you looked like you've been robbed" Wufei gave the room a thorough looking over. "Need any company" No, she didn't want company but his sort of company she would welcome anyday. Sally examined the room herself once more blushing in embarrassment, she nodded sheepishly lowering her defenses. Wufei in turn placed the gun on an empty spot of the shelf he was up against and moved over to Sally. "I had company ... little girls" She said quietly. Wufei's expression lightened slightly at the condition of the room. "So I see" He said obviously amused. Sally glared wholeheartedly at the young man. "S'not funny Wufei" She mumbled. Wufei tried his best not to laugh as he bent over to pick up the fallen fabric.

Duo sat upon the floor of the living room flexing his wrist which hung over the sling his arm was confined to, it stung every time he moved it much to his annoyance. Giving his sore wrist a break he turned his head upward and glanced at the slumbering Heero Yuy behind him on the couch, the American noted that he looked troubled even in his sleep and wondered if the Japanese teenager would ever gave himself a break during the mending days ahead, or if he had ever stopped thinking like a soldier. It was a lot to consider in Heero's case but Duo never minded pondering on this type of subject. As much as he hated to admit it he enjoyed examining the brooding teenager above him. It gave him something to do when there was obviously... nothing to do. If anything Duo pondered the Heero enigma because of what little he knew of the Japanese teenager behind him, Heero never told him anything about himself so he simply assumed the man's character and personality by what he showed.

It took no blind man to see that Heero had his own way of showing his emotions to the people he knew, he was sympathetic in his own way for instance, he wasn't overly emotional and said the right things at the right times, Heero could be absolutely harsh, but it was necessary at ti- Duo scowled at the absurd line of thought that popped into his mind. Duo began to flex his wrist once more to remedy his thoughts, focusing them on getting the pain in his wrist to cease torturing him. There was a grunt behind him, Duo's cobalt eyes shifted behind him resting upon the couch and examined the awakened Heero who looked more than a little troubled.

"Hey Heero, how'd you sleep?" Duo asked deciding to start the 7:00am morning time on the right foot. Heero blinked for a moment shifting his head toward the braided American below him, Heero's Prussian blue eyes turned toward the kitchen; it was bustling with energy with the smell of pancake batter cooking in the waffle maker, he knew Hilde was up just from listening to the humming resonating from the small area across from the living room. The dream still troubled his mind, the calm tear stained face of Jin staring up at him with longing in his eyes as he died in his arms, the sheer thought of that annoying boy dying was something Heero couldn't bear to think of even he didn't come to terms with Jin at all.

Rubbing the back of his neck Heero stared down at Duo who was no longer waiting for a response but bothering with his wrist upon his broken arm, he watched his friend tense every time he rested the wrist downward. "I slept fine Duo..." Heero paused watching Duo raise his head up in question indicating he must have forgotten he greeted the Japanese teenager or he really wasn't expecting a response. "...You should stop doing that, it'll only make it worse" Heero stated. Duo frowned upon hearing this but stopped flexing his wrist. He then arose from his place on the ground reminding himself he couldn't relieve his backside of the pain he felt from sitting on the cold hard ground.

He watched Heero reach for his crutch and pull back the sheets that covered his legs off of him Heero grunted as he pulled himself off the couch and into a standing position. Heero shifting his gaze from the crutch to Duo who held his duffle bag, he nodded his head in thanks taking the bag from his friend's grasp. Duo watched his comrade head for the bathroom for a moment or two, the posture of Heero's shoulders were slumped which meant something was bothering him as usual. Rolling his eyes Duo headed toward the kitchen with every intention to speak to Heero about whatever was bothering him.

Trowa tossed another snowball at Ryuusei just as the small girl threw her massive snowball at him he dodged it with ease as he rolled across the ground ready to create another diabolical snowball when he was hit several times on the head by something horribly icy-cold, he grunted in annoyance shifting his gaze upward at the hotel window that happened to be where his and Catherine's temporary bedroom resided spotting the brown-haired woman herself beaming down at him donned in her coat and gloves that were in fact covered in snow.

Trowa glared declaring mentally that two against was nothing he couldn't handle but was cheating since he remembered Catherine objecting to playing in the snow with Ryuusei and himself, climbing onto his feet Trowa grabbed up a large amount of snow then began to pack it into a compact ball. "Mattie, Barton-kun" Ryuusei cried in objection throwing a snowball of her own at him. Trowa dodged her attack once more throwing his snowball at the little girl sending Ryuusei tumbling to the ground, he smirked briefly before being thwacked in his head by Catherine's sneak-attack snowballs. He turned and threw his last snowball at her.

Catherine shut the window just as it came flying at her Trowa frowned when it splattered all on the window. "Kudos Cathy" He uttered bending over to gather more snow. They played until Ryuusei could no longer take being hit by Trowa's accurate snowballs, the two ventured inside hoping Catherine had the decency to make hot chocolate before they arrived inside. Trowa felt sweaty and cold all at the same time as he undressed himself, his legs despite the supposed warmth of his long-jonhs brought him were freezing while they sweated, his dress shirt stuck his chest as did his sweater and his bangs were lying flat upon his face, Ryuusei looked as though she had sweat the most; her chopped short hair (which was slowly regaining its length) was matted with moisture.

Her pink overhauls and sweater were wrinkled giving them a damp appearance her small feet were bare and dry which for Trowa was a strange thing (since she was sweating as much as he), he was thankful nonetheless. "Are you cold Ryuusei" He asked softly as he placed their boots up against the wall nearest to the door. Ryuusei shook her head soundless skipping into the small bedroom. Trowa watched the little girl vanish around the corner with a look of worry in his eyes wondering if she was still bothered by the events that took place several weeks ago. Its' best not to ponder on that, Trowa thought entering the bedroom, he sniffed the air catching the faint smell of chocolate blended with milk wafting from the small kitchen of the motel room.

"Ryuusei" He called walking over to the bathroom door. He peered through the crack of the door to find the small girl examining the toilet, Trowa decided to leave the girl be before heading to the kitchen he knew Catherine would be there. The kitchen was old, thinned out; the titles were blueish/green hue, the empty fridge along with everything save the pine cabinets were also that strange color Trowa found to be very unattractive. "Hey Trowa, your cocoa's ready" Catherine's voice startled the usual stoic and composed teenager young man out of his thoughts, he looked in her direction his cheeks beginning to burn once more. Striding over to the counter Trowa did his best to keep a good distance between him and Catherine when he picked the black mug up.

Just as he was bringing the mug to his lips to drink a hand grasped his, Trowa gasped quietly and almost dropped his mug if it had no been for the other hand that supported his loose grip on the mug, he glanced up at two pale blue eyes full of concern and doubt. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours when it was only five minutes persay, Trowa was first to break the trancelike state the two of them were locked in and tried to move away but Catherine kept her grasp on his hands firm, she would not be easily pushed aside. "Catherine ... please understand I meant no harm toward you when I tried to kiss you... I really do love you" He said sternly.

Catherine shook her head in amusement as a grin broke out on her face causing an array of expressional emotions to break out on Trowa's face, the most evident ones were confusion, grief, and sorrow. Lowering his and her hands down to the counter she moved closer to her surrogate brother embracing him the strongest hug she could muster. Catherine could feel him tense at the closeness of her body but paid no attention to it knowing what the young man wanted was something resembling of compassion or caring. "I'm sorry I can't return these feelings Trowa, I am sorry if I mislead you with my friendly flirting. It's just in my nature, you seemed so uptight that I wanted to make you feel welcome ... so I flirted."

A sharp intake of breath was her answer to her silence, she continued her heart dying to confess to him. "...But always know that'll always love you like a brother no matter what." She finished, her voice heavy with emotion. "I understand Cathy, really I do" Trowa nodded quickly blinking rapidly, he reached up to brush the tears from his sister's eyes Catherine laughed just as sob escaped her throat. "Do you? I mean do you really understand? I hurt you Trowa with my answer... I just don't want to be the source of your sadness anymore" She cried bursting into tears. The green-eyed young man did his best to hush his hysertical sister uncomfortable with the fact that his new effections toward her caused this reaction, Trowa pulled the woman into a hug as she cried no longer caring if he saw her in such a weak state. He scanned the kitchen floor for any sight of Ryuusei until he heard her humming to herself inside the bedroom hoping onto one of the beds unaware of the dire situation. Sighing with some relief Trowa continued to try comforting his trembling sister. "Its' okay Catherine, I understand..." The 17-year-old whispered softly.

A pair of thick Nike sneakers stumbled through the snow no destination in particular, their owners legs trembled from the harsh cold as did his entire body. He felt as though the foundation though covered in snow was shaking him to the very bone and wouldn't stop until he was noting more than a memory underneath or rather above its presence, but he couldn't stop if he did he knew he'd just end out face first in the snow without any means to save himself from an icy death, Jin groaned peering over the top of his heavy hood. He couldn't see anything for miles, he knew he was still in the city but he couldn't figure out where in the city he was. It was frustrating to say the least.

Coughing the 13-year-old stumbled onward through the snow despite the unstable condition of his already weakened body, the loss of blood from his wound which had opened much earlier in the day ... perhaps night when he was at the church weakened him greatly, the bandage around his waist had become loose and his reopened wound began to bleed from too much moving about. Jin had tried his best with the part of his shirt Mariemaia had given him to secure the wound but it continued to bleed only slower this time, now Jin was wondering how he would die; bleeding to death or frostbite.

It would only be a matter of time before it happened anyway and just as he placed his foot onto the ground Jin felt his legs give way beneath him and he fell to the ground. He groaned on impact surrendering all his will or little had to whatever being wanted it, his hands clutched at the snow as if it were a solid object. "I never ... thought I'd be dying like this.." He uttered to himself spitting out the snow that had entered is mouth. With the certainty that he would die Jin awaited sweet oblivion to take him. The 13-year-old stared into uncharacteristic snow that surrounded him realizing that it was cold, and he was still alive. Suddenly the young man remembered the dream he had about his parents when he was in hospital.

They were smiling at him both their hands grasping his, leading him out of the darkest part of the house they lived in towards the outside where he could run free while they watched him. They wanted him to live, to live a happy life acknowledging the fact that they were gone in body but never in sprit. Pushing aside his selfish feelings, Jin rose to his feet, he would live because he promised them he would. The young man struggled to stand ignoring the numbing pain his body was experiencing at that time. His right hand clutched his bleeding left side, His limbs felt like lead as he pushed himself through the snow toward the edge of the sidewalk, his destination was a small coffee house that was currently sheltering people from the storm.

Just a little further, it shouldn't be much further, Jin raised his bloodied hand spreading his fingers out towards the edge of the sidewalk just as he fell to the ground again. "Kami- I should've never left the hospital..." He whined pathetically as his eyelids grew heavier. Curling up into a ball he closed his eyes sensing that unconsciousness was near, there was no hope for a hopeless boy. As his senses began to shut down Jin's ears perked slightly at the faint sound of someone calling his name in desperate shouts, he couldn't even feel himself being lifted off the ground and carried into a vehicle.

The 13-year-old grunted slightly at the sensation of heat flowing around him and leather below his shivering frame, he could barely get his eyes to open when he turned from the side upward to stare at the face framed by hair flowing around it. Jin squinted noting his vision was horrible. "... Pegan hurry, he's bleeding" A pair of hands cupped the sides of his face Jin could make out a worried smile on the woman's face. "Don't worry Jin, you'll be fine; you're going to be all right." Upon hearing this Jin smiled wearily before falling into unconsciousness. He knew he was safe. Relena...

(TBC...)