Title: In Lieu of Chocolate
Author: Charisma Brendon
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A.N.: Okay, this probably wasn't what she wanted...but, I don't do A/C and there was that part that asked for smut and, I doubt I could have done it. :p
Special thanks to Lez...who helped me with the idea and beta'd. :p
Dedication: To Lexi, I hope I got this close enough so that you don't hate me. :P
Timeline: After "IWRY" - but not mopey! Woo!
"Angel, this isn't healthy."
Though his annoyance was obvious from the soft huff of unneeded air he exhaled, Angel barely looked up from his tattered book. "I'm fine."
Cordelia cursed under her breath. "You are not fine! You've done nothing but mope and brood since Buffy left. I knew she'd just depress you."
He looked up angrily. "Leave her out of this."
Cordelia let out a scoff-like laugh. "Okay. You're over two hundred years old and you're getting all broody over a teenage girl. Shouldn't you be more mature than that by now?"
He sighed. "Did you have a reason for coming?"
At the change of subject, Cordelia perked up. "Sure did! Doyle and me are going to see a movie."
"Have fun," he absently murmured.
She whined in annoyance. "We want you to come with."
"No."
"C'mon! You need to get out; we need to get out. Why don't we all get out together?" she asked with a sunny smile.
"Because I like being alone. It's what I do, remember?"
"Angel, you're my friend and I love you...but you need to move on with your unlife. And we are just the people to help you!"
"Still, no."
She was clearly close to having a tantrum. "If you don't come with us, I will never speak to you again. No talking, no writing, no E-mailing. No communication between us whatsoever."
He leaned back in his chair, obviously considering what she had said. He smiled his first real smile in days. "Well that's a relief."
She felt somewhat relieved at the sight of the smile - and smug because she had been the source - before she fully realized what he said. "Hey!" A much more evil idea soon came to mind.
She pulled up a chair and began to tell him about her day. "The funniest thing happened today. I was checking out the new vintage store. - You know the one, the building is huge and blue! Honestly, blue? - Anyway, I saw the cutest shirt! But...I'll need a raise to get it. It would be so perfect for me. It just screams, 'Wear me, Cordelia. I need you.' Oh! Then, I found a matching skirt that would go gre-"
He interrupted her with a groan. "What are the odds you'll leave me alone?"
"Less than zero," she cheerfully replied.
He marked his place with a cloth bookmark and stood. "Fine. But, I'm wearing the duster you hate."
Cordelia merely rolled her eyes and walked out of his office.
The line outside the theater was oddly long. People were grouped together in several different rows. Some were talking about movies they wanted to see (the dominant one was about an English spy. He tuned them out after he heard something about an actor from MAD TV playing a henchman), others about actors or dates. His mind flashed back to the last movie he'd seen in Sunnydale. From French por-..."art," to English spies. The jump in topics was very depressing.
Doyle's voice asking for three tickets brought him out of the comparing thoughts.
Angel turned to Cordelia. "What are we seeing again?"
"Titanic. We've only told you that forty times tonight."
He nodded absently. "Right. Right."
Doyle excitedly waved for them to follow him inside.
"He's strange," Cordelia commented fondly.
"He wants to sit next to you."
She rolled her eyes. "It sucks to be so lovable."
The lights in the theater were darkening as the trio walked down the aisle to their seats.
"I hope this showing doesn't have those people that talk through movies. I hate that," Cordelia grumbled as she accidentally stepped on someone's foot.
"Ow!" the innocent byst- sitter mumbled.
"You'll get over it," she said with a disarming smile.
"Last time we saw this, you were the talker," Doyle reminded her.
They reached the middle of the row and sat with Cordelia in the middle. "Shut up. It's not like you didn't help."
He shrugged and re-situated himself for maximum comfort.
As the opening played, Angel decided that maybe there were worse ways to spend three hours and fourteen minutes.
Of course he was wrong. Lately, when was he not? The first half-hour had gone rather smoothly. Both of his friends seemed content to at least look at the screen.
But then, the trouble started.
"I love Leo," Cordelia commented.
"Why?" Doyle asked her incredulously.
"Because he's awesome. Shh."
Cordelia scoffed at the screen. "Ew. What is Rose wearing? That is soooo 50s."
Doyle gave her a "duh" look. "Rightfully so, Cordy. The ship did sink in '58."
"It sunk in 1912," Angel automatically corrected. "Now shut up."
"Near. Far. Wherev-ev-ev-er you are," Doyle sang under his breath.
"Once more, you o-o-o-open the door," Cordelia continued.
Angel groaned. "You skipped a lyric. Now, shut it."
"Grouchy," the children disguised as adults whispered in unison.
As Rose stood at the tip of the ship with her arms in the air and Jack behind her, Doyle suddenly laughed. "Wouldn't it be funny if she fell overboard?"
Cordelia gaped at him in disgust. "Morbid much? Of course it would be. But, God, whenever I hang around you two we always have to think morbidly. Like that time when -"
Angel waved a hand in front of her face. "Shut up!"
Cordelia stared thoughtfully at the screen. "There is no way that's her real body."
"Why not?" Doyle asked, genuinely curious.
"Look at her ti-"
Angel glared at them.
"Fine, Dad."
Doyle's head tilted to the side as a thought struck him. "Heeey, do you think they really had to sink a ship to film this?"
Cordelia rolled her eyes at him. "Of course not. They just filmed the original sinking."
Doyle nodded. "Oh."
Angel growled.
Cordelia suddenly snapped. "You know how we are. Why did you agree to come? We all could have stayed home and watched movies."
Angel's expression barely changed. "Number one, you harassed me until I agreed to come. Number two, you wouldn't take 'No!' for an answer. Number three, you get popcorn-butter stains on my chairs."
Her eyes squinted in (possibly mock) outrage and she threw a handful of popcorn at him.
"If this were real life, he would've told her to move her ass and let him on that board, too."
Doyle nodded his agreement. "And, after she let him draw her naked, he would've ran off with some blonde."
"Bastard."
"Will you two shut up?"
"Psh. 'Never let go,' my ass." Doyle snorted.
"Well he was dead," Cordelia reminded him.
"Just like a woman to make a promise then immediately break it."
Cordelia snorted. "Yeah, because men never do that."
Cordelia stretched merrily and walked arm-in-arm with Doyle and a reluctant Angel. "Wasn't that fun?"
Doyle nodded readily while Angel glared.
"Aw, cheer up, Mister! It got your mind off your problems."
"Yes. And now I'm angry with you." Angel stared sullenly at the ground as they walked into the night air.
"You know what this means." Cordelia grinned.
"What?"
"That we get to plan an outing to make you love us again!" Cordelia exclaimed, tugging them both in the direction of Angel's car.
"...Yay."
Name/LJ name: Lexi/kuku4wikka
Request: Cordelia, Angel (maybe Wesley)
Alternate request: Cordelia, Buffy
Prompts: "Angel, you're a vampire. I doubt you'd understand these things." Set in Season 1 or early Season 2. Cordelia eating popcorn on the couch, Angel grumbling about it, her throwing popcorn at him. Maybe smut.
Please do NOT include: I do not want to see uber bitchy Cor, or uber sweet Cor.