Seven
by kimbari
Pairing: Adama/Roslin
Rating: Big People
Disclaimer: I love you, Ron Moore.
A/N: This fic was inspired by, and is a companion piece to, the fanfic "Reason" by Charis. It would help if you read that fic first. It's better.
Charis, you rock!
1.
It was a very narrow corridor and our proximity (to death) was overwhelming. I had a choice and I made it. It was to yield. He closed and locked the door. We took off all our clothes and put them carefully aside. He took me in his arms and kissed me, nakedness preceding foreplay, need preceding everything else. He lifted me up and I braced myself with my arms. He slid into me, harder, deeper than any man I've ever had before. I closed my eyes, blinded by the intensity of the fire that seared through me. It goes fast but we both come, my scream silent against his strong shoulder, my nails digging into his back. The sound he makes threatens to undo me, but I am tired, too tired really, to feel right now. All I know is release, and somehow with it has come forgetfulness. I am not dying. That would be someone else.
We get dressed again in the cramped space and we exit, unseen. No one is the wiser.
This will never happen again. I'm sure of it.
2.
I like to think I had a choice, but I didn't. Her pull on me is tidal, relentless. She is relentless, in her logic, her reason. After I have had time to think, she always makes sense but never at that moment. I shouldn't meet with her alone but the things we discuss have to be discussed in private. So we discuss, and discuss, and somehow we end up in my bunk and she's beneath me with her legs up and I'm inside her and I'm working and I've never worked so hard at anything that was so easy. When she comes I feel as if I've been given a gift, her voice calling out to the gods… I give her what I have for her and then it's over. But she smiles at me as she comes down; her face is flushed, her body damp with sweat. I hardly recognize her, the President of the Twelve Colonies.
This was not a wise thing to do. I don't think she'll allow it to happen again.
3.
I can hear my voice echo off the walls of the room as his thrusting sends me spiraling into a deep well of pleasure. Had there been an interruption, accidental or otherwise, I would not have been able to contain myself. He touches something so deep within me, so elemental. I can't allow this to continue.
"We have to stop meeting like this," I say, and I mean it, but I temper the words with my smile. The one I practice when there's no one around to see.
"I know," he says, but he's caressing my belly with the rough tips of his fingers and that somehow makes my dismissal of this, of what has been happening between us, seem petty… useless… a lie. I am dying and I have the weight of an entire civilization on my shoulders. I think the case can be made that I'm entitled to a few minutes of bliss in the arms of a strong man.
Deep down inside I can't lie to myself. I want this to happen again.
4.
I take her face in my hands and I kiss her. I can't deny how I feel about her, even if she won't hear it. She has my heart. She holds it in her hands and if she knew… she'd probably drop it like a hot potato. Slimy, messy, squirmy thing, a man's heart. Especially mine, a little old and a lot battered. Not worth much but none of that matters because my job is to pleasure her and I can and I do and it's the sweetest thing I have ever done. She moves beneath me like water, like clouds, like ecstasy. She has me, my body, my heart, my soul…
I look behind me. There's the line.
5.
"Laura… Laura…"
I hold on tightly as he comes inside me, whispering my name. Oh, gods, it goes right through me. I bite down hard on my lip to keep the sobs in. I can't explain my tears except this hurts… not physically… not quite physically. He kisses my mouth and I turn away. I can't let him see me cry. I can't cry. I have to be strong.
"This has to stop," I say.
He doesn't agree this time. In fact, he says nothing at all as I climb out of bed onto outrageously wobbly legs. I dress and get out of there as fast as I can, my legs still outraged. I want to stay. I want to stay so badly I could scream.
I can't stay.
6.
It's too late. I can see in her eyes that she knows it, too, and the moment I touch her, she falls apart. I have never heard another human being weep this way, as if the world had ended (it had), as if there were nothing left (not true). Something tells me it's better not to say anything, and I listen to it. I listen to Laura cry and it breaks my heart but I know somewhere in her grief there is healing and a coming to terms.
She doesn't know that I know her secret. I wouldn't be much of a commander if I didn't know everything about everybody on my boat. I'll wait for her to tell me. I may still be waiting when she's on her deathbed. But she's alive now, and in my arms, and she's mine. And this time I take her slowly, I give her all of me, everything. She opens herself, arching against me, receiving it. I frak her hard, holding her hands, and we come together. They probably heard us in CIC. I'm past caring.
After, she falls asleep in my arms. I hold her, watch her, listen to her breathe. I doze myself, but fitfully. I feel as if I'm on sick baby watch, and the thought makes me smile. She wakes up to find me watching her. I can see in her eyes that she's chosen her side.
"William…" she whispers.
7.
I lay beneath him, staring up at his face, my hands against his chest, my legs spread as wide as I can spread them, waiting… waiting for the fire. And when I feel as if I will die if I have to wait any longer, he gives it to me. His penis is thick, heavy, hard and hot as iron fresh from the forge. He pushes inside me slowly, and I arch my pelvis up to meet him. I find his heart inside me, moving slowly, gently. I wrap my arms around him, hold him close to this body that I will be forced to abandon soon, far too soon for either of us. But we don't think about that now. We only think of our union, we will only be our oneness. I have his heart, and he has mine.
This time when I come I feel an indescribable ecstasy and my heart speaks out. "I love you, Will."
This time, when I come inside her, I feel as if I'll fly apart. And I tell her. "I love you, Laura."
And after, we lay together with our limbs still entwined. She dozes, I play with her hair. Something suddenly occurs to me and I say, "I assume that you aren't going to suggest we stop meeting like this again."
It is the first time I have ever heard her laugh out loud.
End