Disclaimer: Why do I feel like I've written this line before?...nothing J.K Rowling has created—( Harry and co.) belongs to me. I'm simply borrowing her fabulous characters and everything. So don't sue.

Lily's Diary

Sept 3

Still trying to figure out who the note could have been from. Hmmm. The possibilities are endless.

-Lily

Sept 3

Thinking, and sucking on a Sugar Quill. Yum. It must be a boy, because (not to be stereotypical, but it's true) what girl has that terrible handwriting?

I could always, as a last resort, go into mad lunatic stalker plan and compare every boy's handwriting to the kind on the note. How'd I do that? Steal Professor Grifnett's load of essays, then compare. Hmmm. It's an idea, sure, but am I that desperate to know? Who would even want to write an anonymous note to me?

-Lily

Sept 3

The next thing you know, I'll have a boy pelting stones at my window in the middle of the night. This, of course, has no chance of working—seeing as my dormitory's on Hogwart's 6th floor—very, very high. So the boy in question would seem like a speck to me. He'd have to have a mighty strong arm to throw the pebbles about a mile up the castle walls.

Anyway, as I was saying, the next thing you know there'll be a boy pelting stones at my window till I look and see who it is. And then I will look down, and the boy will be so dazzled by my gorgeous long red hair (who am I kidding? This is a total fairy tale, because when was my hair EVER called gorgeous?) and stunning emerald eyes (again, this is an utter fantasy, because any boy can see the color of my eyes from about a gazillion feet away has got superpowers) and will begin reciting lovely Shakespearean-ish poems about me.

Again, as I said, a .0000000000000000000000000124899538568391 chance of happening. Which, last time I checked, is not a very high percent chance. Oh well, we can dream, can't we? Even if our utterly romantic and lovely dreams have no chance of happening, that doesn't stop me in the slightest.

Although getting an anonymous note that might be from a boy is a far cry from a romantic stone-throwing-on-window-in-the-dead-of-night-with-romantic-poems situation. But can't a girl dream?

-Lily

Answering my own question: No, a girl cannot dream—if she wants to be realistic, that is. A trait that I greatly admire. Sadly, a trait is not mine. Yet.

-Lily

Sept 3

It will be mine, though! Some day, although I might have to wait….it WILL be mine! Muahahahahahhahahaha!

Wow, I sound very much like an evil villain who wants to take over the world.

A realistic evil villain who wants to take over the world, though. Which, I suppose, is a step in the right direction. Of sorts.

-Lily

Sept 3

Extremely bored, to the max. In the dormitory, in case I didn't mention it before. Since it is just so amazingly important. Not. Ho hum.

Also hungry. Don't ask me WHY, how I would know is a mystery. It's 12 at night, why on earth would I be hungry? Maybe I can go to the kitchens for a snack…oooh, bad Head Girl behavior. But it probably wouldn't be good for the school's reputation if I woke up dead because of the absence of sufficient food in my stomach.

Maybe I'll ask Minnie to go with me. Tessa's usually too afraid to go.

Hold on, I will be back later. I'm so hungry I could eat a hippogriff.

-Lily

Sept 3

Why do weird things always seem to happen to exclusively me? I'm right, too. Nothing weird ever happens to Tessa or Minnie. Or anybody else I know. But noooooooo, with me it's a special case. Everything weird just HAS to happen to me. It's like Newton's law of gravity, or something. Except whatever it is for that, it's Everything weird and unusual has to happen to Lily Evans, and not a single other soul on this earth.

And I don't mean good-unusual…like the aforementioned situation with the love sonnets and Rapunzel-ish hair.

So Minnie was sleeping, so I decided to venture down to the kitchens alone, right? Right. It isn't that far from our dormitory. I felt like my heart was going to explode right out of my chest when I was rushing through the corridors—what if I was caught?

Anyway, I finally reached the kitchens. I went in, and there was the usual crush of house-elves, doe-eyed little slaves ready to obey your every word. Only I feel kind of sorry for them, and never ever order them around. They know what I need every single time I come in. It's the same, every single time.

They get me a lemon poppy seed scone, hot and fresh (how do they always have them hot and fresh? Continually baking in the oven? It's a mystery to me, but whatever) and let me make my own tea. I don't know, it's just a thing I have. I NEED to make my own tea. I have a fit if anybody else tries to do it for me. It's soothing, making tea.

So I came in, and of course they were all, "Oh, Miss Lily Evans is here again! Oh, what a great joy, Miss. We will be right back with a scone, Miss, we know you like lemon poppy seed, straight fresh from the oven! And Miss is knowing where the tea bags and kettle are, Miss, even though Notty can surely make the tea for Miss Lily, he surely can!"

As I always do, I say a very polite thank-you and say, do call me Lily. And no, I will make my own tea. I'm sure they don't want a fit in the middle of the kitchen. It might, like, throw off the perfect temperature of the chocolate éclairs they seem to be continually baking. What am I talking about, again? You can't mess up the temperature of éclairs. But, I continue.

So. Who do I see, grabbing mounds of éclairs, marshmallows, and basically every sweet known to mankind (and then some)?

Sirius Black.

Of course he comes over to me and is all, "Lily, darling! How were your holidays?"

"Fine, Black." I said.

"Ah, still on last-name basis, are we, Lily? I though we'd gotten over that!" he said, with a mock disappointment look on his face.

"Afraid so." I couldn't hold back a tiny smile. Black may be one of the most annoying beings on the earth (Potter being top of the list, naturally), but is still pretty funny.

"Ah, well. You can't have it all, can you?" he asked more to the ceiling than me, raising his palms up.

"No, you can't." I said. By this point we were sitting at a table—me drinking my tea and eating my scone, him with a mound of sweets beside him.

"So, what brings you to the kitchens at this time of night?" he asked me.

"I could ask the same of you." I responded. After all, I wasn't the one with a massive pile of sweets beside me!

"Midnight snack." He grinned and winked what I suppose he thinks is a charmingly devilish manner. He is, sadly, wrong.

"Same here, I guess." I replied. What else, really, was there to say?

There was something I really needed to ask. "Sirius, does Potter have really messy handwriting?"

"Yeah, it looks like a three year old who writes with a stick instead of a quill—hey, Lily, we're making progress! Just three days into the term, and you've already called me by first name!"

"Yes, yes, achievement." I said, hinting a smile.

"Why would you like to know about dear James? Does somebody maybe have a little crush?" Sirius asked teasingly.

Gosh, could he get farther from the truth? I think not. I just wanted to know whether the note was from him or not!

"NO!" I said.

"Ok, ok, I get it!" Sirius said, mockingly crossing his arms in protection in front of him. "But isn't he growing on you, just a teensy-weensy bit?" wheedled Sirius.

"Ugh, no! I'd rather date Filch than—oh, well, maybe not, but still—" and then I realized my fatal mistake. I'd just said I'd rather go out with Potter than Filch. Which is true, of course—as much as I hate Potter, Filch just plain has no hygiene. And is about fifty bazillion years older than me. But this has given (in Black's brain, of course) James a 1 more chance.

How could I have been so stupid? It must have been the combination of tea and scones, which soothe me and make me very calm and nice and stuff. Which is possibly why I called Black by his first name. Also it was really late by then, like 12:30 at night or something. But still, I take full blame for my words.

"Ah, but this gives James an advantage, now! Lily, I think you're starting to admit your true feelings, good for you!" he said cheerily.

I tried to reason with him that I'd still choose the giant squid over James, but Sirius would hear none of it. Urgh. Boys! How can they be so…ANNOYING? Grrr.

-Lily

Sept 4

I wonder if Mystery Boy Who Has Really Bad Handwriting And Wrote That Note To Me (otherwise known as MBWHRBHAWTNTM for short—though that isn't really short, you can't have it all) IS James? Pray Lord it isn't. What could he possibly want to meet me for, anyway?

Although he still owes me an apology, for the horrendous song-and-asking-me-out incident. Nobody has forgotten about it, either. Annoying Slytherins are still humming it in the hallways whenever I pass them. Oh, how I would love to trip them…too bad it would make me a bad Head Girl. Darn.

Of course, I could always hire Burkoff and Parksky (the two really muscular, but rather dim-witted Hufflepuffs who are in my year) to do it for me. You know, trip them, the whole bit. I'm not sure whether they've ever had a job concerning tripping people and beating them up, but I'm sure they'd catch on quickly.

-Lily

Sept 4

Ach, History of Magic. I always write in this class because it's so BORING…it's the only thing to do. Me, Tessa and Minnie find various ways to amuse ourselves. We've got this special note paper that shows what everybody writes—so you don't have to throw bits of parchment around, and have them land on the wrong desk. Which is what happens to me, due to my horrendous aim. Anyway, this time we were playing "would you rather"…

(A/N: Lily writes in normal type, Minnie writes in underlined type, and Tessa writes in italics.)

Tessa, would you rather:

Go out with Sirius Black, or

Go out with James Potter

Erm…I don't know…I suppose…Sirius?

Yes, you guys WOULD look nice together…you know, both of you have dark coloring, and he's at least a head taller and…oooh, I see it! Lily, what do you think?

Yes, yes, I see it too, Minnie! The only drawback is his best friend, the prat.

He's not THAT bad, Lily.

What are you talking about, Tess? He didn't even try to apologize to me about the train incident!

Lily…he just MIGHT have attempted to apologize the time at the 5:30 breakfast. Sadly, knocking him to the floor and running out of the room just MIGHT have discouraged him.

The girl has a point, Lils.

Well…I didn't even knock him over THAT hard.

Sure, Lily, sure.

But you guys would go adorably together! You HAVE to get together.

Yes, and those chances are just as high as…as…as me getting together with…with the…squid!

Well, I'VE seen that squid, and he's REALLY, REALLY, not what you'd expect, for a squid…really sexy…

Yes, yes, very.

You guys are ridiculous. The day I go out with James Potter, is the day I run around the school in my underwear!

I'm holding you to that, Lils.

Yes, we even have it here, on paper! It's a binding magical contract, Lily! You've got to follow through with it, now, if you go out with him!

You mean WHEN she goes out with him. It's bound to happen sometime.

Guys, shut up! Fine! I promise. It'll never happen, hate to break it to you two!

Suuuurreee.

Be quiet, MINUETTA.

NO! Not that—THAT NAME!

Yes, and I can scream it aloud whenever I please…I could do it now, in the middle of this very class, I really could, and everybody'd finally know your REAL name…

No!

Lily, it's History of Magic. You've never caused a ruckus in a class.

Well, true, but I could right when it ends!

Too true, too true.

Ach, fine, I'll be quiet about your FUTURE title as Mrs. James Pott—

Yes, sorry, but now this document has to end, on account of a vicious ink fight going on between Lily Evans and Minuetta—COUGH—I mean, Minnie Laflaree! And Lily's got ink on Minnie's nose, oooooh, nice flick there, Lily—and no, there's a great splatter, and now Minnie's got Lily's left cheek! Marvelous aim, Minn. Now Lily is—oh, is she really? Yes, I do believe so, ladies and gentleman! Lily is pouring her WHOLE BOTTLE OF FUSCHIA INK, MINNIE'S LEAST FAVORITE COLOR—onto Minnie's whole head!

Her hair does look rather shiny in that shade! Oh, and now, MINNIE'S RETALIATING! OOOH-SHE'S TAKING HER BOTTLE OF PINK INK—THE EXACT BOTTLE THAT LILY HATES BECAUSE IT CLASHES HORRIBLY WITH HER RED HAIR—YES, AND MINNIE POURS IT ALL OVER LILY! Excellent comeback, Minn!

And Professor Binns doesn't even seem to notice that two of his students are thoroughly covered with bright shades of ink, from head to toe! Ack, the paper's getting splattered…and.. NO, GUYS, NO ATTACKING THE REFEREE…AACKKK, NOOOOO…..

We're very sorry, but dear Tessa was unable to finish this little narration, on account of having mustard-yellow, HER least favorite color ink, poured all over her head. Very unfortunate, tsk tsk.

Yes, very. Now, if you'll excuse us, but we've got to tell Binns (he still doesn't know about the ink fight—gosh) and go wash the ink off our faces! Ah, the fun of ink fights.

Sept 4

Fun ink fight. We went to Madam Pomfrey (well, Minnie did, she's not afraid of being yelled at—me and Tessa stood outside) and got the potion that clears off ink stains on skin. It takes awhile to work, though, so we've still got some on us.

Tessa's got a bit of yellow ink splatter to the left of her left eyebrow and a little of the ends of a few strands of her dark hair. I've got a little (urgh, horrible) hot pink ink on the very right of my right cheek, and a few tiny splatters on my hands as well.

But Minnie's the funniest! She's got a huge fuschia blob of ink that refuses to come off—right at the end of her nose! It's hilarious. It's like one of those clown nose things. Minnie refuses to come out of the dormitory. We'll force her in the end, though. She can't stay in there, hiding forever.

-Lily

Sept 4

Alas, but she can. Stay in our dormitory forever, I mean. She's going to skive off Care of Magical Creatures. Grrr. Tessa and I are going there now.

-Lily

Sept 4

Hilarious Care of Magical Creatures class.

So professor Nottskint had us go into the Forest (yes, I know, it's er…forbidden…but we didn't go that far in, maybe fifty feet or something) and we were doing this lesson about unicorns. Anyway, Nottskint gave us this weird, kind of sparkly sweet water to attract the unicorns with. We had to sit really still in the forest, like statues, each with our own little bucket of the sparkly sweet watery stuff (it has a proper name, I'm sure, but I can't remember it at the moment.)

We had to sit about two feet away from one another (the whole class was in one long line) so we wouldn't get "distracted". Naturally, Tessa was at my left. Remus Lupin was at my right. We all had our bowls in front of us. Nottskint told us that the unicorns and how they reacted towards all of us and everything would teach us something, though we might not be aware of what they were trying to "teach" us.

Tessa looked hilarious, really concentrating. She had folds in her forehead, and it was really funny. Everybody was concentrating, matter of fact. Sirius and James and Peter and stuff were goofing off but then Nottskint made them be quiet.

Anyway, a girl called Alice got the unicorn first…it was really pretty and silver and gorgeous, couldn't have been more than three years old. It cautiously stepped up close, out of the shadows, and started licking the sparkly sweet water stuff. Then it sort of nudged Alice and led her away, out of the forest.

It was agony sitting still for ages, but we did. A boy—I think he's called Frank, maybe—anyway, his came, it was all silver and it was probably six..

Tessa's came after that, a young gold one—all slender and glimmering and beautiful. Tessa looked really surprised, but she followed the unicorn out. I wondered what they were all doing out there. Having some weird unicorn ceremony?

Then, for some odd reason, Sirius's came. Don't ask me why. It was gold like Tessa's, but a bit bigger. Sirius looked extremely surprised, as the unicorns normally go for the quieter, gentler people—mostly girls. It nudged him right out of the forest, him looking bewilderingly at his friends, who were still sitting unicorn-less (like most of the class.)

There were some more unicorns, but then one came for me! It was absolutely gorgeous, even more so up close. It was silver and slender and moved as if it were walking on silk. It cautiously came up to my bowl of sparkly sweet water stuff and started licking it cautiously. Then it nudged me up and prodded me (with the side of its horn) out of the forest.

All of the unicorns were leading and prodding their people about, it really was hilarious. For some reason, Tessa's unicorn kept pushing Tessa towards Sirius and his unicorn. Frank and his unicorn were chasing Alice and hers. It was really quite hilarious. Then James appeared in the open field—with a pure white unicorn, a pelt so bright white that it almost hurt to look at it. James looked completely confused, and for some reason my unicorn kept going towards James. James's went towards mine too. I tried to resist but it was really weird. Unicorns are like, higher beings…how can you argue with them?

Finally, almost the whole class was being prodded about by their unicorns. It was hilarious; Sirius's unicorn kept getting more riled up about chasing Tessa and her unicorn. Finally, Sirius's unicorn pushed Sirius right into Tessa's back, making Tessa land with a plop on top of Sirius's lap, in the middle of the whole ruckus. It was hilarious, Tessa was blushing (as much as somebody with her dark coloring can.).

Similar things were happening throughout. Alice had already fallen or banged into Frank twice, and both were bright red. It was thoroughly hilarious…except for the parts when MY unicorn kept goading me towards James.

Very interesting class. Not sure what it taught us, except maybe unicorns are a little less docile than we all thought. Bet Minnie's sorry she missed it now…

-Lily

A/N: I liked writing that, it was fun for me. Hope you guys like it as well. Remember… reviews help me write about fifty times quicker! So yeah… review! Be it rambles, ideas, comments, flames, or whatever, I REALLY appreciate. Plus there're my famous imaginary cupcakes… with vanilla or chocolate frosting, imaginary sprinkles included.

Thanks to: starblaze: I'm glad you think it's funny! Bigsmileygirl-3 : Awww, I'm glad you liked it! bRaTsKi, DobbyGrl and CattyGirl for reviewing! You guys are the best!