Title: Knock Knock
Summary: Who's going to make breakfast this morning? The Doctor and Rose battle it out.
Author's Notes: Inspired by the last joke that the Doctor tells in this fic – twas told by my biology teacher during a lesson on classification and I couldn't let it rest. Kudos to all of my friends who came forth in their numbers to provide the other jokes.
"OK," she said, "How about this? Why shouldn't you play cards in the jungle?"
He scoffed, but played along. "I don't know."
"Because it's full of cheetahs!"
The Doctor groaned. "I can do better than that. Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Howard."
"Howard who?"
"Howard I know?"
"Terrible!" said Rose. "You're not even trying! What did the tablecloth say to the table?"
"Not a clue."
"I've got you covered."
The Doctor glanced at Rose, who underneath the sheet was as naked as the day she was born. "Let's fix that, shall we?"
She slapped his hands as they began to roam. "Stop. It. Your turn."
"Fine." He sighed. "What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?"
"Don't know," she said promptly, keeping a close eye on the hand nearest to her.
"A huge scrubbing brush."
"My God, you're a genius," she said dryly.
"Oh, as if you're doing any better." He made another attempt to pull the sheet away and failed. "And don't act so coy. I know what you're really like."
Rose merely smirked. "Right – what do you get if you put Dracula in the freezer?"
"I don't know."
"Frostbite."
"Mmm," he said languidly. "You know what? I feel inspired." He made chomping noises and headed for her throat.
She succumbed for a few minutes, even letting a hand dart under the sheets, then pushed him off. "Go on, then."
"Ugh. Why did the mushroom go to the party?"
"Why did the mushroom go to the party?"
"Because he was a fungi." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Get it? Fungi, fun guy…"
She groaned and said, "You lose. You definitely lose."
"Why!" he looked incredulous.
"Much much too corny. Go on, then, off you trot. I'll have my eggs scrambled, please, and I want fresh orange juice, none of that carton stuff."
He groused loudly as he got out of bed.
"Oh, pipe down," said Rose bluntly. "If you're good, you might get a treat later."
"Arf," he said, and shuffled out of the room to make breakfast.