Airess Byrd: Good to know this fic improved your day.
Chapter Eighteen: Calm After The Storm
It was not easy to rise from the depths to which Ryu had been carried - certainly not as easy as it had been to sink. But he came up, broke the surface and breathed deep. Once his lungs were purged of stale air, he floated. Waves occasionally broke over him. Sometimes he breathed the dark water and coughed for a time, but sooner or later it was expelled and he continued to drift and rest, regaining his strength. Sometimes a different water trickled down his throat and he swallowed it. When he was strong enough, he opened his eyes.
His first thought was of the Kyoin inn, the last place he had awoken like this. The inn hadn't had such soft beds, though. He turned and his eyes latched on a winged figure sitting beside the bed, balancing a heaping tray on her lap. "Nina," he tried to say, but something croaking or gibbering would be hard put to include in its ranks emerged. That was fine - he saw now she wasn't Nina, or even her sister for that matter.
The woman who was there started, then quickly dipped cutlery into the contents of the tray and started feeding it to him. Ryu wanted to tell her no, don't, I can take care of it myself, but he wasn't at all sure he could. When he'd cleared the tray the woman said, "You're feeling all right?"
He cleared his throat, already beginning to float again. "Just tired."
"I see. The princess says you're to call if you need anything. You want anything else right now?"
"Not right now…" He closed his mouth and eyes and floated a while longer.
The next time candles burned on a side table and fire crackled in a hearth, and it really was Nina sitting there. "Hi," he said.
She smiled back. "Hi." She was wearing a dress again. "You burned yourself out, doing all that." Judging from her face it had been worse than simple burnout. "The Abbess says you're not to get too tired again for a while."
"How long's it been?"
"Ten days."
"Since the last time, I mean."
"Much less."
"Thanks," he said after the carrying out of the usual functions and another meal. "For all this."
"It was nothing. We've been worried sick."
"You have?" He stifled a yawn.
Luckily, she didn't think it signified disinterest and continued as she went to stoke the fire. "It was a job getting them to go to bed, especially after you woke up this morning. Oh - Cray and Elina're going to get married soon. They hope you'll be better in time for you to come."
He nodded. "At this rate I definitely will be. Did I miss anything else?"
"Well, you know how Ursula's a general now? When Yuna and the Ludians came after us - Yuna escaped from Astana, you see - she came after them and arrested him. Then the Ludians ran off."
"Oh. Good for Ursula. So where is he now?"
"He's in our dungeon. Ursula wants to take him back to the Empire herself, since Mami and Elina and Fou-Lu aren't keen on killing him and they're the ones who've got the right, and she's staying here a while longer because she wanted to talk to you and Fou-Lu about something."
"Really? About what?"
"I don't know. It can wait for tomorrow, can't it?"
"Sure. It can."
This time she was the one to start the kiss. It was even better than the first, even with that one colored by nostalgia - especially as he wasn't being poked by the ornamentation of the confection she'd worn last time. Sleep came soon afterward, but he floated no longer.
He woke to another tray and another visitor. "Morning, Ursula. Long time no see." She nodded. "You've got something to talk to me about?"
"There isn't an Emperor."
He recalled the phantom. "Yeah, I know. He's dead."
"You don't get it. It's not just him. All of his relatives but his crazy mother - they're all dead."
He pulled the warm tray to him, picked up a fork and speared an egg. "And?"
"The paper-pushers in Chedo got it in their heads that what he really wanted-" She frowned and tossed her hands in the air. "-was to wake up Fou-Lu and name him his successor."
He refrained from speaking until he finished the egg. "But that's stupid."
"I know. Their idea was that Soma Forest et cetera was all Yuna's idea, possibly General Yohm's. Since you merged with him, they sent me off to find you."
"But we've split."
Her lip quirked. "Exactly, so don't get too excited."
"I wasn't excited to start with."
"The way it looks, he'll be the one to go back. People'll have more faith in him than in…"
"Than in some random guy from the Alliance."
"Yes." She was still frowning.
"Something wrong?"
"Yes."
"Can I ask what?"
She'd been waiting for this. "If the people from Chedo are any example - they'll let him walk all over them. There are so many mistakes to make if nobody argues with you." He nodded and she continued. "There'll be trouble. But there's not much other choice, is there? If one of the Ministers or whatnot took power instead nobody besides maybe themselves would stand it all. At least they should tolerate the 'God Emperor.'" She sighed and stood. "He should be around to see you in a minute."
Fou-Lu took the chair at the bedside. "Art thou well?"
"Yeah. How's Mami?"
Fou-Lu smiled. For an instant it was as genuine as any other Ryu had seen, but too quickly it became wan. "Thy mortal physicians hath declared her hale and well. I hath no reason to doubt their word."
Ryu smiled back, uncomfortably aware how faint his best effort was, as if he were subconsciously attempting to mirror Fou-Lu's expression. "Good."
"I should regard thee with hatred. In doing this for me, thou hast given me another debt I canst never properly repay."
Ryu swung his legs and seated himself on the edge of the bed. "But you don't hate me, do you?"
He contemplated Ryu's knees. "Indeed not."
"There's something the matter, isn't there?"
Fou-Lu looked up. His smile was gone, replaced by a frightening calm. "'Tis nothing of consequence."
"Could you tell me anyway?"
He nodded. "She hath told you of circumstances in the Empire?"
"Yeah. She did. What is it?" Even as he asked he realized.
When Fou-Lu spoke his voice was crisp and level. "They wilt be disappointed." And that was all he needed to say.
A memory echoed between them. Night, in Mami's cottage, and Fou-Lu was talking to her. He hadn't dared give his real name after the incident near Bunyan's house, but he wanted to get it out all the same and so he told her a story, thinking that ought to be safe enough, the story of the incomplete god who came to the earth once upon a time.
However, he'd said, even as he dreamed, Fou-Lu realized a terrible truth. Even were he complete, he wouldst not be able to fulfill all the people's desires! He'd continued in the same vein for a while longer before Mami had interjected.
You were right. The last time, hundreds of years ago, you "died" before you really messed up on anything. And all these years people've been dreaming and imagining and when they find you've come back they'll look at their pictures and their legends and they'll expect someone who can make it all right. But you can't. And what will they think, when they find that out?
"Oh. I see." Fou-Lu nodded as he unfolded the meaning loaded in his reply. "Can't you just say no?"
He stared for a moment, then laughed that pained hex-laugh. "Thou art still…"
"Clueless?"
Fou-Lu shook his head. "Only naïve. I cannot in good conscience decline. Without any semblance of a leader there wilt be terrible strife in the land as they attempt to determine one. If I return it might well come to pass regardless, but were I to avoid it out of concern for my reputation, I wouldst not be deserving of it in any case."
"Oh. Okay, then." About this, then, you're right. The world doesn't need gods, but it wouldn't hurt to make the way a bit smoother. If we didn't try to help, then I might as well have left the powers sealed away. "Mami's coming with you?"
He nodded. "'Tis only reasonable. She is as deserving of comfort as the Wyndian princess, is she not?"
"Yeah. She is. Er. You'll make sure to write?"
At least this laugh sounded reasonably happy. "Of course. I wilt write. But perhaps 'tis premature. I hath not yet begun to go."
"No, not yet."
"I hath spoken with the woman from Chek. The Abbess."
"Really? What did she say?"
"She says that if thou dost value thy life, thou wilt not attempt such a thing again. In any case, 'tis no longer possible, as our power as well as our minds art once again rent in twain."
He shrugged. "I've done what I wanted to do with it." No, I haven't. The people in Chek, General Rhun… they're all still dead. They must have known I couldn't go back for them after all.
Our power as well as our minds… so to do it safely we'd have to combine both - that's out. Saving Fou-Lu was the whole point of all this. So no more. P'ung Ryong ought to be happy. "So that's okay," he finished.
"I suppose it is. Though, I must ask… hast thou restored our immortality?"
"No."
"Ah." Fou-Lu nodded. "I didst fear that thou hast. But thou hast not. I thank thee. 'Twould be an excess of cruelty, to know I wouldst again outlive her."
A number of the inhabitants of Wyndia modified their daily routine in order to have a look at the pair traversing the main market. Both evidently looked familiar, having gone up to the castle a while ago and apart and not being seen again until the previous day. But surely, P'ung Ryong heard them whisper, his wings hadn't been so great before.
He leaned over to examine a table heaped with onions, trying not to bask in the attention. "How long wilt thou consent to remain in Wyndia?"
Ch'o Ryong joined him. "Till tomorrow, perhaps. We needs return to Worent to prepare for the impending marriage." She picked out a choice one and bought it.
"Indeed. Thou dost." They meandered over to a display of spices. "I hath spoken to the survivors of Chek regarding the possibility of more revivals."
"What didst they say?"
"As the power is sundered between them, 'twill be beyond their means to carry out such a feat without death being the result - unless they doth unite again. They will not."
"'Tis certain they will not?"
"For Ryu, at least, 'tis certain." He indicated one of the displays. "Hath we tasted of this before?"
She looked. "I believe not." He nodded and gave his order to the merchant, who hurriedly prepared his requests. When it was done and paid for they began on the way back to the castle. "The two of them - they art aware of this?"
"They art aware."
In the lift she said, "'Twas wise of him, to withhold our immortality." She laughed. "'Twould be such an inconvenience, now when we art so attached."
She was right. He'd become more attached to the world - to this version of Wyndia - than any immortal ought to let themselves become - it would be agony when all too soon the attachments were forcibly torn away. But if he wasn't immortal… well, then it wasn't a problem anymore, was it?
"When I hath departed to Worent," she said, "'Twill be a pleasure to hear from thee."
He smiled. "Verily. 'Twill be the same for me."
At first Ryu had been surprised when Fou-Lu told him what Nina had been willing to do to help him - certainly she never would have spoken of it herself, out of shame or modesty or both - but he got over it quickly. Yuna's life for Nina's would have been a fine bargain, and he was gratified to know she had thought the same way about him.
He nodded and continued to stare through the barred door. "I wanted to have a shout at him myself. But I guess I already had a chance in Astana."
Fou-Lu considered this, perhaps sifting through his own inheritance of memories, and finally said, "So thou hast."
Yuna lay on the floor of the cell, still in his rather neglected-looking robes, any movement not visible in the half-dark, but he was alive - Ryu's share of the power still granted him at least that much. Someone had put his hat in with him and it lay on its side. In the next cell over, the occupant belted out a dirty song.
Ryu turned away from the door. "Last night Nina said you didn't want to kill him either - why not?"
"'Twould hath injured Mami greatly to go against her wishes in this matter." Fou-Lu shrugged. "And 'tis of little consequence. His crimes shalt, instead, be paid for over the rest of his life. Art thou ready to take thy leave?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I am."
Outside they ran into Nina, who fretted over Ryu and insisted he sit down if not lie down for a while longer. When Fou-Lu had split off and they were ascending a stair together he said, "Thanks for that."
She realized what he meant and spun around. "You know?" He nodded and a pale red tinted her face. "It wasn't anything you wouldn't have done."
"That doesn't mean I can't thank you."
"It didn't even happen."
He reached for her hand. "It's the thought that counts." She laughed and curled her hand around his, and they were still laughing and joking an hour later.