Disclaimer: Kohana, Momo, Piaoliang Feng, Shen Yuan, Naraku, An Hua, Ayame and Ruri are my characters. The personalities and looks of the new seishi are mine.
Red Wings of Fate
Chapter 22: Lonely Hearts
"Speech"
'Thoughts'
-Conversations between twins-
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Nakago took a deep breath before she opened the door as if she were about to jump into a bottomless pit of no return. Not that that wasn't an accurate description of how she felt.
She saw Soi lying on her bed, though she wasn't sure whether or not he was asleep. 'It's his fault I'm pregnant…all his fault…' She scowled. But her scowl wasn't for him, it was for herself. 'What am I talking about? It's not his fault…he didn't plan for this…it just happened…' She sat on the foot of the bed and buried her face in her hands.
Soi felt the bed shift and he opened one eye. "Nakago…?"
She didn't answer him and made no indication that she even heard him.
He stretched slightly and sat up. "Nakago, is there something wrong? Maybe you should get some rest…" He knew something was wrong, but it would be like pulling teeth to actually get it out of her.
She looked up slowly. "Soi…I thought you were asleep…"
He raised one eyebrow. "I was…before you came in."
"Oh…sorry to wake you…" She stared off into space.
He smiled and pulled her close. "Don't be. Now what's wrong?"
She was quiet for a moment, searching for the words she wanted. "Nothing's really wrong…exactly…It's just…" Her eyes fell to the floor.
He frowned. "Nakago…"
"Well…Mitsukake said I'm not sick…"
He nodded for her to continue. "Okay…and you're distressed about…?" He ran his fingers through her hair.
She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Well…Soi…I…I'm pregnant…with your daughter…"
Soi didn't say anything. He didn't know what he could possibly say. He tightened his hold on her and kissed her passionately.
She blushed ever so slightly when he released her. "You…you're not mad?"
He cupped her cheek in his hand and smiled at her. "Of course I'm not…this is just…unbelievable…"
"Soi…" She laid her head on his shoulder.
"I love you Nakago…don't ever think otherwise…" He rested his head in hers.
"I know…I'm scared though…I'm not exactly mother material…"
He chuckled softly. "I know you can do it…and you aren't alone in this…you have me."
"That's true…" She nodded slightly. "But I'm still afraid of being like my mother…"
He shifted his grip on her so that he could rest his hands over her stomach. "You're the best at everything else you do…this isn't anything different…" He smiled. "Have you thought of a name yet?"
She placed her hands over his and smiled a bit. "Haven't had time yet…but we still have 8 months to come up with something."
He kissed her lightly. "You're right." He brought them both down on the bed. "Until then though…" He grinned.
She gave him a mock frown. "One is enough now Soi and I need sleep now. Today has just been…a lot to take in…" She rolled away from him.
He chuckled softly and pulled her back to his chest. "It has…"
She nestled into his arms. "And if you tell anyone about what I've told you tonight, I'll be forced to kill you."
"Don't worry. Your secrets are safe with me." He nuzzled her neck. "Sleep well Nakago…" When she didn't answer, he figured she was already asleep. He smiled and drifted off to sleep, thinking about what kind of parents he and Nakago would make.
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Back in the real world, Tasuki sat, head in hands, staring at the closed book on the table. He'd been up half the night thinking about Kohana. He'd never felt so helpless and he hated the feeling.
"Tasuki…she's on her own now. We can't help her…" He looked up to see Ayame walking into the room. "Come back to bed…"
"I know…but I can't accept that. If anything happens to her…"
"It won't. I have faith in the seishi." Ayame sat next to Tasuki and squeezed his hand. "They'll protect her."
"I'd feel better if I knew how this will end. I didn't particularly trust the Seiryuu seishi at first but that's passed. It's Tamahome I don't trust now. Never liked him…"
"Neither do I. But he'll have to accept that Kohana doesn't love him. I think he will. If he regains his memory, eventually he'll realize things won't be what they were 50 years ago."
"Maybe…" He was still staring at the book.
She looked at the cover. "Kohana and Momo are writing their own story now. They'll do what's right."
"Do you think they'll come back or stay?" He thought about the conversation she and Momo had that they had read about earlier that day.
"I don't know. But whatever happens, I'll accept it."
"Even if Kohana stays?"
"It's her life. She should be happy. If that means staying with Hotohori, fine. I don't want her to be unhappy after everything she's been through."
Tasuki looked over at her. "She does deserve what ever she wants. She's given a lot of other people happiness." He drew his wife closer.
She smiled and held onto him. "She has, hasn't she?"
He chuckled and stood up, helping her up. "I suppose we should go back to sleep huh?"
Ayame rolled her eyes and nodded. They headed back to their room in silence. She briefly looked into Kohana's room, wondering if she would get to see her sister again and where she would decide to stay.
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The group returned to the capital of Konan early the next day, looking to relax after the trip more than anything else. Nakago hadn't mentioned her pregnancy to anyone else yet. She knew she'd eventually have to tell everyone. Mitsukake was right. A team meant working together.
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Nakago found Momo and Kohana talking in the garden in the early afternoon. She had made the decision to tell Momo so they could figure out who needed to know and when.
"Lady Momo…may I speak to you in private?"
Momo sighed. "Nakago…I really don't want to talk about priestess stuff right now. I just got outta Hell, okay?"
"This isn't really priestess business that I wanted to talk about…"
Momo looked a little confused. "Really?" 'Nakago doesn't want to yell at me about my duties as a priestess?'
"Really. May we speak in private?" She looked at Kohana. "If you don't mind…"
"It's cool." Kohana stood up. "I'll fine someone else to bug for a while."
"Hey wait. If it doesn't have anything to do with priestess business, what's the problem with her hearing it?" Momo put her hands on her hips.
"Please Momo, don't be difficult about this…" Nakago sighed.
Momo blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Well…I guess it is important if you forget to call me 'Lady' like you always do…which is really annoying and I wish you wouldn't do it…but anyway, fine. We'll go talk in private."
Kohana had already left the area leaving the priestess of Seiryuu and her seishi alone.
"So what's so important?" Nakago didn't look at her for a moment. That was what made her a little nervous. "Nakago?"
"I'm pregnant…" She said softly after another moment of silence.
Momo stared at Nakago, trying to register what the older woman had just told her. "How long?"
She shrugged. "Not long…a few weeks…"
"Umm…I'm guessing Soi?" She nodded. "How many people know?"
"You, Soi and Mitsukake."
"Wow…do you love him?"
"Of course I do. I wouldn't have slept with him if I didn't. I have higher moral standards than my predecessors."
Momo rubbed the back of her neck. "Hmm…eight months…I think you should tell Kohana about this…"
"Why her?"
"Kohana knows more about kids than anyone I know. She'd totally know what you should prepare for."
Nakago raised an eyebrow. "Does she have children?"
"What? No!" Momo giggled a little. Nakago looked annoyed. "The thought of Kohana with kids is a little funny. Sorry." She regained her composure. "It's just that Kohana's sister is pregnant with her second kid right now. Kohana's the one that takes care of everything."
"Oh…well…if you think it's best…I don't really know what the hell I'm doing here…" Nakago sighed.
"Yeah, let's go find her." They found Kohana on the other side of the garden playing catch with An and canine Ashitare. "Hey Kohana! Come here for a sec!"
Kohana looked up. "Hang on." She handed the ball to An. "Be right back, kay?"
"Kay." An gave her a big smile and ran off with Ashitare.
Kohana jogged over to the two other women. "What's up?"
"Nakago's pregnant."
Kohana looked up at Nakago. "Are you really?"
She nodded. "About a month."
"Hmmm…we're gonna have to change your diet…"
"What's wrong with my diet?"
"Well, nothing. For non-pregnant people. You need to eat other things to make sure the baby is healthy…" Kohana tapped her finger on the side of her face. "Does Mitsukake know? You're going to need a good doctor…"
"Yes, he knows. He was the one that told me. Soi made me go see him because I was so pale."
"If he was worried about you being pale I'd hate to think what he'd do if you had morning sickness. He'd probably think you were dying." Momo smiled.
"He probably would. But it's nice to know he cares." Nakago stared up at the sky.
Momo looked Nakago over. She wondered what happened between Nakago and Soi while she and Kohana had been gone. Well, she knew one thing that happened, but she wanted to know what had led up to that.
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It rained that hard night. That, combined with the fact that she wasn't very tired anyway, left Miboshi lying wide awake in bed. Her room was stuffy but if she opened a window, the rain would come in.
After another half an hour of tossing and turning, she gave up on trying to sleep and decided to walk around until she felt sleepy. 'Maybe if I'm lucky I can find the kitchen and make some tea…'
She grabbed a robe from a chair and slipped into it. A bag of tea leaves sat on her nightstand. She grabbed the bag and dropped it into a pocket. She walked out of her room and headed down the hall. Luck seemed to be with her at the moment because she eventually did wander into the kitchen.
To her surprise, someone was already up. She cracked open the door and peeked in. Miboshi cocked her head to the side when she heard a young girl laughing. Someone else was slumped over at the table, mumbling something about sleep.
She opened the door more and saw that Nuriko and An Hua were the ones up. Nuriko looked exhausted but An was still wide awake.
"Hey…why are you two still up?" She held in a giggle when she heard Nuriko groan.
"An won't go to sleep…" Nuriko propped up his head with his hand. "We've been up for the past hour." He was glad someone else was also up and especially glad it was Miboshi.
"Well, I'm not sleepy Ni-chan!" An sat across the table from her brother and pouted. "The rain is too loud."
Nuriko muttered something about the rain. Miboshi laughed and sat with An. "The rain is loud. I was going to make some tea to help me sleep. Would you like some An?"
She thought about it for a moment. "Is it good tea?"
"Well, I think it's good. You can always add some honey."
"Okay! Tea time!" She looked at her brother and giggled. His eyes were already closed. "I don't think Ni-chan needs any help sleeping!"
Miboshi smiled. "No, doesn't look like he does." She got up and moved around the table next to Nuriko. She removed his head from his hand and let him rest his head on his arm on the table. He stayed fast asleep while she moved him.
An watched her with wide green eyes as they went to the cooking stove. "Miboshi-ne-chan?"
"Hmm?" Miboshi looked back at her as she filled up a pot from a basin.
"Do you like Ni-chan?"
Miboshi blushed and went back to starting a small fire under the pot. "Well…as a friend, yes."
"I think you're lying." An said very confidently.
"Oh do you?" She raised an eyebrow.
An nodded. "And I think Ni-chan likes you too."
"And why do you think that? We're just friends." Miboshi couldn't help but look back at the sleeping man across the room.
"But wouldn't you like it if it were more?" She asked eagerly.
"An, when did you become so interested in other people's love lives?" Miboshi tried to sound annoyed as she searched for some teacups.
"Since I know Ni-chan likes you and you like him." She put her hands on her hips.
"What makes you so sure?" After finding some cups, she threw some leaves into the bottom of the cup and hoped the water would boil soon.
"Because you're happy around him and he's happy around you. Like when Kohana-ne-chan and Hotohori are together."
The water finally began to boil and Miboshi carefully filled up the cups. "Here." Hoping to change the subject, she handed An the smaller cup. "You really do need to sleep sometime tonight."
An reluctantly took the cup. "I know I'm right. Just wait and see."
Miboshi rolled her eyes and went back to the table. "Nothing's going to happen. I guarantee it." She stirred up the tea with a small spoon.
An joined Miboshi at the table where Nuriko still slept. "But it will! You'll see!"
Nuriko stirred before Miboshi could answer. "See what?"
"Nothing!" Miboshi quickly answered.
"It wasn't nothing!" An protested. "It was--!"
"An, shush! Nuriko, it was girl talk. I'm sure you don't want to hear it." She laughed nervously.
He yawned, only slightly more awake than before his little nap. "Yeah. I'm happy not knowing."
An quietly drank her tea, hoping Miboshi and Nuriko would start talking.
They sat in awkward silence until Nuriko cleared his throat.
"So umm…what kind of tea is that?"
"This? Oh it's umm…it's a special blend my mother made when I was a kid. She taught me how to make it before she died." Miboshi glanced down at the table.
Nuriko winced, wondering if he shouldn't have asked. "Oh."
An rolled her eyes and set down her cup. "Miboshi-ne-chan, let Ni-chan try some."
"Don't you have anymore?" She looked at An.
An held up her cup. "Nope."
She looked at Nuriko. "Do you want to try it?"
"If you don't mind…"
She slid him the cup, trying to be nonchalant. "Doesn't bother me."
He sipped the tea. "Not bad. A little strong."
"I like things strong." She blushed at her words when Nuriko smirked.
"Strong huh?"
"I uh…didn't mean…umm…" She stared at her tea, her hair covering her face.
An Hua's sudden yawn drew their attention. "I'm sleepy Ni-chan…"
"Finally? It took you long enough…" Nuriko stood and picked up his sister. "Then let's go put you to bed." He looked at Miboshi. "You coming?"
She shook her head. "No…I'm gonna finish my tea and clean up. I'm not quite sleepy enough yet. I have to wait a little to get sleepy."
Nuriko nodded and disappeared with his sister, leaving Miboshi alone in the dimly lit kitchen. She finished her drink and washed out the cups. Unsure of what to do until she felt sleepy, she sat back down at the table to think. She stared at the lamp on the table, watching the small flame dance.
Nuriko came back into the kitchen and found her in a trance-like state at the table. She paid no attention to his entrance. He wasn't sure how long he watched her, but he couldn't take his eyes off her.
He watched her in silence until he needed to shift his weight. And he shifted it right on to a loose board in the floor. The ensuing creak seemed louder because of how quiet it had just been.
Miboshi's head snapped up. "Nuriko! How long have you been there?"
He blushed. "I umm…not long…"
She quickly stood up and hurried out the door, somewhat embarrassed.
"Wait Miboshi! I didn't mean to stare!" He ran after her.
She suddenly stopped a few feet into the hallway and buried her face in her hands. "Crap…"
"What? Something wrong?" He ran to catch up with her.
She didn't look up at him and groaned. "I don't remember where my room is…I wandered here and I don't know the palace anyway…"
Nuriko chuckled. "Would you like an escort back?"
"Well…it's either that or find a nice place in the kitchen to sleep." She sighed and shrugged.
They walked in uncomfortable silence for a long time. The rain continued to hammer down around them. Both wanted to strike up conversation but couldn't seem to come up with anything.
Nuriko shoved his hands in his pockets. "So umm…how do you like Konan?"
"Huh?" Miboshi looked up. She hadn't really been paying attention to anything but the rain. "It…it's okay…it's a beautiful country…"
Nuriko nodded, unable to think of anything else to say. He couldn't believe he couldn't come up with any conversation. Usually he never had a hard time talking.
They walked passed An's room where Nuriko stopped for a moment to check on her. Ashitare slept at the foot of her bed, the ever watchful canine guardian.
Miboshi looked over Nuriko's shoulder. "It's funny seeing Ashitare like this…"
"What? Being a baby sitter?" Nuriko quietly closed the door back up.
"Well…being so protective of someone…with the exception of bothering Momo sometimes, he kept to himself in Kutou." She leaned on a post.
"Doesn't seem like the 'keep to himself' type of person to me. An's always dragging him somewhere and he never tells her to go away…" Nuriko crossed his arms, curious to learn more about his sister's favorite playmate.
"Personally I think he's glad there's someone outside of the seishi that isn't afraid of him. People treated him like a monster because of his abilities." She looked outside at the rain. "Life is hard as is, but sometimes I wonder if being a seishi makes it even harder…"
"I guess I can't argue with that…"
She looked up at him. "How long has it been just you and An?"
Now it was Nuriko's turn to stare out the window. "Long enough…" He answered with a tired sigh. His tone of voice and the sigh that followed said more about his time alone than any number could say.
She looked at him with sympathetic eyes. "I know the feeling…that's how long I've been on my own…" He looked up, ready to tell her she had no idea what she was talking about but stopped when he saw her face. He saw the same tired, drawn expression on her face that he saw in the mirror sometimes, late at night. "Where do you get the strength Nuriko?" She asked him quietly.
"Strength for what?" He took her hand and they continued their trip back to Miboshi's room.
"To keep going. Doesn't it seem like it's hopeless sometimes?"
"It does." He answered solemnly. "But I keep going for my sister. I promised my parents I'd take care of her. I won't go back on that…" He squeezed her hand a little tighter. "What about you?"
"I wonder that myself sometimes…" She stared up at the ceiling. "I just keep telling myself there's something better coming…if I can just hang on…I don't really have any other reason to keep this up…" Her hand slid out of his. "I guess that sounds kinda stupid…"
"No…it doesn't…" He smiled. "We all do what we have to in order to keep going. You're a very strong woman Miboshi."
"Me? Strong? I don't think so…" She shook her head.
"I do. You've come far on your own." He stopped in front of another open door. "This is your room right?"
"Yeah. Thanks." She stood in her doorway.
"For bringing you back to your room or for saying you're strong?" He asked with a smile.
She shrugged. "Both I guess."
He reached out and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Miboshi?"
She was too lost in his touch to answer for a moment. "Hmmm?"
"I…I wish I could give you another reason to keep going…" He took a step closer to her and embraced her.
Again, she let herself be lost in him. For the first time in years, she didn't feel the exhaustion of the heart that threatened to swallow her most of the time. She raised her eyes to his. "I think you just did…"
They stared at each other for a few moments before kissing, promising each other to be there no matter what. Nuriko held her as close as he could without hurting her. Miboshi kissed him passionately, not quite believing it was really happening.
She pulled back slightly first. "Nuriko…" She started but Nuriko silenced her with another short kiss.
"Shhh. People are sleeping." He whispered with a smile.
She closed her eyes and smiled. "Good night. I'm finally getting tired."
"Good night…" He released her. "You should smile more often. You're beautiful when you do."
She blushed and stepped back into her room. "See you in the morning."
"See you." He smiled and closed her door.
As soon as the door closed, she inhaled deeply, realizing she had nearly forgotten how to breathe. She touched her bottom lip, thinking about what had just happened. 'Maybe An is right…maybe I really do like Nuriko as more than a friend and maybe he feels the same way…or…' "Maybe I should just get some sleep now…" She shook her head and fell into the bed. Almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.
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Hi people! Umm…next chapter won't be up for a while cause see, I'm redoing the first two chapters. I'm still hating how unoriginal they are so I came up with another way to start the story which will hopefully work way better than what is up. I don't know when I'll finish them, but this is just something I have to do or else I'm not sure I can keep going. Yeah. I'm weird like that. Bye for now!
-Shadow Hawk