Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing in any form; but I do own a Writer's Inc. Handbook, which is helping me master the art of Grammar so that I can soon move into the English course in which I am suppose to take part.

"Kylie would you care to explain why security was breached by a teenage boy whose uncle happens to be a member of Iscariot, this morning," said Integra as she was getting ready for her first date with Bachelor #1 a.k.a. Zack Briggums. Zack Briggums is a member of the Royal Air force and he fell under the category of bigheaded man-whore. "Well Kylie if he is of nothing special to you; we are going to have to send him back to either Rome with his uncle or to his mother in San Francisco. Also there is reason to believe that you two are involved in some way," said Integra as she was taking one last look at Zach's profile and made it a point to play to his fear of dogs and his pet peeve of burping and farting in public.

"Okay I'll talk; Miss Integra, as long as you can promise that he can finish his stay here with the rest of the Youth Diplomacy Group. He was here to visit me because we are best friends turned couple, is that enough for you." said an incredibly flustered Kylie.

"No, not at all as you see he could have been a spy for Iscariot and if Iscariot got a hold of plans to pass security, then that would compromise the safety of all of our members. Not only that, how did he know the placement of all the cameras and torrents in the first place?" asked Integra. "You see as of the fact that you have not suppose to be here for the past two weeks, the fact that you two are romantically involved, and along with the fact that you spent a lot of time in the security room. All of that can be evidence enough to say that you did it; and that can be considered treason."

Kylie was taken aback by Integra words indeed; but she was at the moment more worried about here boyfriend locked up in the detainment area and with that she left to figure out a plan. However, as soon as she left, Alucard came in through the ceiling. "Do you have to be so tough on Kylie? She is only in love. Don't you remember your first boyfriend or the first time you fell in love?" said Alucard with a bit of sarcasm.

"Alucard you know very well that the reason the governors are trying to set me up is because I never had a boyfriend. Also I have to be tough on her because she compromised the safety of all of us," said Integra.

"Heh, so along with that are you telling me you have never fallen in love because from I heard falling in love was one in which you do anything to be with that person. Anyways from what I remember you did go with the same person for all your school dances and formals," said Alucard, who at the moment was trying to get something out of Integra.

"Well Alucard, have you ever fallen in love? Anyways the only reason why I took you was because I did not know any boys that would be in anyway decent dating material and also because it was the only way to insure that I would have protection at those events." said Integra, who was growing more and more impatient with his questions.

"Yes, I have fallen in love. What else can you expect with a couple hundred years in this life? I mean even monsters need someone every once in a while," said Alucard staring at Integra.

Meanwhile in the security room Seras, Pip, and a large amount of the female staff were watching the module that had the view of Integra's room and listening to their conversation. "This would be the perfect moment for Master to kiss Miss Integra," said Seras to Pip and to that Pip and the rest of the people nodded. "Oh my gawd, he's taking a step closer. They might just kiss after all then Integra would not have to go on all these stupid dates," said Pip and along with that all of the women in the room squealed like a fan girl would when Inu-Yasha kissed Kagome.

But sadly the door bell rang; and along with it came Zack Briggums the bigheaded man-whore who was deadly afraid of dogs and hated burping and farting in public. "Alucard, I need you to come with me on this date but you will have to go as a hellhound okay," said Integra and with that Alucard transformed into a hellhound and followed Integra down the stairs to the common room in which Zack was waiting. In the common room, Walter was just finishing his 'eight simple rules for dating my boss/ surrogate daughter' speech with saying rule #8 "You break her heart and I swear I shall break your neck and just about everything attached to you." The speech left Zack shivering in fear but before he got up to greet Integra, Walter came out with a polygraph machine and told him to sit down or else he will have to enforce rule #3 "Follow any orders we give you or else we shall be forced to remove you from any contact with Integra." Soon after that Walter started asking him basic yes or no questions which escalated to embarrassing questions like "Have you ever wet your pants pass the age of 5?" and "Have you ever worn underwear that did not belong to you?" As that was going on Integra was just looking at him, with his combed back black hair to his brown eyes, he was about 5 foot 9 inches; so that meant he was indeed shorter than she was. So after the Polygraph; Zack got up to greet Integra and he took her out to his car. He opened the door to his Land Rover to let Integra to let her in and he closed it and so as he was walking to his door. Integra opened the door to let in Alucard, she pulled him as a hound up onto her lap, and as Zack saw the dog in his care he screamed and ran for it. So Zach ran off for a long time and Integra thought he was not coming back but after 15 minutes late he came back. He asked that the dog stayed at the compound but Integra glared at him until he said it was okay and let the dog stay. Therefore, Zack drove on until they stopped at a nice little restaurant right in the heart of London. There they had dinner, then they were in the middle of some after dinner conversation that was nothing but him bragging about himself and his hate for Emo and Rock music. Which she thought, was annoying and reason enough for her to leave right then because she had a soft spot for Emo and Alternative Rock since she became the leader of Hellsing. But she knew that would be rude so she excused herself to go to the bathroom and as she checked her bag she found a little black box labeled "Fart Machine" and a piece of paper attached to it.

"Dear Miss Integra,

This is a remote control fart machine.

It is activated by car remotes by pressing

any button so have a blast with it.

From, Pip Bernadette

So Integra returned to the table and placed her purse under her chair and she sat down with her car keys in her pocket. She saw that Zach was just staring at Alucard in hound form and he was ready to run but before that can happen she squeezed her car remote the machine activated and it emitted a sound of one's farting. Well after that, the whole place went silent and she took the moment to activate the machine again but the remote jammed and it let of farts for ten minutes straight and the whole time Zack stared at her in horror. Then Zack paid for the check and then he drove Integra and Alucard in dog form to the Hellsing Compound and with that he walked Integra to the door and right before he said good bye, Alucard did the worst thing to happen that whole night and took a crap right there on Zack's shoe. Then Zack got pissed off and tried to kick Alucard, so Alucard took a bite of Zack's leg and took a leg off his Hugo Boss suit and ran off and along with that he dragged him through the shooting range mid-shooting practice for the soldiers. Then Zack grabbed a stick and tried to whack Alucard but he changed from the hound form to that of the giant mass with the hellhound heads coming out of his shoulders and the tons of eyes. So that scared the fuck out of Zack so he ran for his car and drove away without saying goodbye to Integra. Yet all Integra could do was stand by the doorway with a smirk on her face and then Alucard came towards her and all he can do was laugh and then Integra started laughing. The two of them came in the headquarters together and Alucard's hand on Integra's shoulder, but as they came in Walter, Pip, Seras, and Kylie with a boy in the in all black head to toe.

"So I take it the date went well." said Walter, and with that Alucard immediately removed his hand and Integra realized the boy was out of the prison cell. Seras looked like she was going to burst into laughter or fan girl squealing at the sight of the two of them.

"Why is the Prisoner out of the dungeon?" said Integra angrily.

"His name is Scott Anderson; so please stop calling him 'prisoner' or 'that boy'," said Kylie in protest. "Anyways we let him out because he didn't do anything wrong."

"Okay how about this he stays with you at all times? Yet you promise no one from Iscariot will come here okay," said Integra.

"Gee, Integra is willing to compromise so that must mean Integra must have had a good time on the date," whispered Seras to Pip. "I know," replied Pip.

Author's note: I hope this one is better than other chapters; when it comes to the readability and the grammar. Please review!!!