Author's Notes- My my, I had no idea that the last chapter would get such positive feedback! I'd assumed that you all would have been quite tired of my tendency to draw things out, and very near beating me with a large stick to move things along in a quick fashion. Apparently, I do not give my readers enough credit. I do appreciate all of the reviews, rest assured. I don't respond to them, as some authors do, because... well, frankly, I'm lazy. You're lucky you get a chapter at all. (I'm horrible, I know.) In any event, I'm very glad that you all enjoyed the smut last chapter, along with the song choice and poor attempt at humor in the beginning. However, I find myself apologizing again for my lack of clever remarks in these notes, but alas, I always manage to find other things to ramble about. Such is life.
Disclaimer- Yes yes, the same old song and dance... Oh, dear, I can't say that without a disclaimer either, can I? Drat. In case any of you hadn't already noticed, I own nothing Outlaw Star related, and am most certainly not being paid for the writing of this story. I'm sure the phrase "same old song and dance" was popular before the Aerosmith—a band which I cannot lay any claim to—song of the same title, but I'd rather be safe and wordy than playing solitaire in a jail cell.
Warning- I'm afraid, oh devoted reader, that we must linger still in the shounen ai area of things. Depressing, yes, but I do hope to make all of the waiting worth it in the end. (Ha.)
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Gene picked at the salad that served as his lunch, mulling over the plethora of thoughts that had congregated in his mind. He was thinking a lot more than usual, lately, and was beginning to wonder why that was. The obvious route of action, of course, would be to place the blame on Fred, but unwanted amorous advances certainly shouldn't be causing anywhere near this amount of headaches.
However, slightly confusing yet desired amorous advances, on the other hand...
The redhead sighed, his fork stabbing at a (now quite perforated) piece of lettuce, though never lifting it to his mouth. He had yet to take a bite of his lunch, and only noticed this when his stomach made a vociferous complaint about the situation.
Grudgingly, Gene shoved a forkful of dressing-covered lettuce past his lips, and chewed it thoughtfully. His eyes were unfocused, and he didn't really see anything in front of him. He didn't see anything behind him, either, but that was assumed to be common-knowledge. The redhead was so far out of it that he didn't notice the person standing directly in front of his table until they cleared their throat politely. In truth, he didn't really notice them then, either, but his eyes seemed to decide that the landscape was now much closer than it had been previously, and that this was a matter of some interest.
Blinking once, Gene swallowed his mouthful and looked up into the face of the intruder of his solitude. It was a cheerful, smiling face, but one that, at the same time, looked a bit embarrassed and anxious. "Um, hi." The timid greeting seemed to hold all the same emotions that the face did. Gene tried to place it somewhere in his memory.
"Oh, hi... Melfina, was it?"
"Right!" The girl smiled broadly, apparently very pleased that Gene had remembered her name. Were he in a proper state of mind, the redhead might have had some idea as to where this conversation would eventually lead, based on that alone, but at the moment, he couldn't seem to tear any mind power away from a certain navy-haired, laughing someone.
He decided that now would be the perfect time to try out that whole denial thing.
"Er... any reason you came over to talk to me, in particular?" Melfina blushed slightly, then began to laugh in a manner that Gene could describe with no other word besides 'girly'. Now that he thought about it, it probably would have been better placed under the category of a giggle.
It was amazing what he could think about when all serious cogitating energy was used elsewhere.
"Oh, yea, how silly of me!" She giggled again. "Um, is it all right if I sit down?"
"Sure..." Gene waited until she had settled herself in the uncomfortable cafeteria chair until he began expecting some sort of continuation in their conversation.
"So, I don't know if you remember anything about me but my name..." She looked hopeful, as if wishing very hard that Gene did, in fact, remember something else.
"Oh." The redhead paused for a moment. "Yea, I remember, you helped me on my first day here... and I see you in some of my classes, right?" This seemed to exceed the cheerful girl's expectations. If he didn't know better, Gene could have sworn that she had just jumped from anxious to ecstatic. Again, were he thinking properly, he would have known what was going on. At the moment, he was too busy wondering what made the girl's teeth so shiny.
"Right again!" Melfina leaned forward slightly, a definitely girlish blush tinting her cheeks. Gene couldn't help but realize that the adjective used wasn't all that appealing, then wondered why. "Um, I know this might be kinda weird, since we don't really know each other all that well and everything, but..." She hesitated. Finally, Gene began to get a vague idea of what was coming next. "Would you like to... you know... go out some time?"
The redhead blinked. This was certainly something new. Here was an attractive girl his own age, displaying an interest in him; hell, asking him out. A lot of guys would probably jump at the chance, and, given the option a few months earlier, he probably would have too.
And yet...
And yet he could think of nothing but dark, laughing eyes narrowed in mirth, soft lips stretched in a mischievous grin, a beautiful, pale face and an expression that, if playful, had that alluring undertone of undeniable dominance.
This was, without a doubt, not the person who was currently sitting in front of him, with that puppy-dog expression of innocent hope.
A hope that, though it made him feel a bit guilty, he had to crush.
"... I'm sorry." He watched that hope slowly flicker away from Melfina's eyes. "I really am, but I kind of... already have someone I like." Part of his mind keeled over in pure shock at what had just left his mouth. He ignored it, for the moment.
"Oh." The girl didn't look as crushed as Gene had expected, which was a very good thing for his conscience, if not for his ego. That in itself was confusing, because, had he said anything else, he would have been somehow betraying... He stopped that thought before it got anywhere. "I understand." She smiled slightly. "It can't hurt to ask though, right?"
"Right."
"Well, I hope you and whoever you like are happy!" The redhead blinked in shock. The statement was cheerful, and, above all, very sincere. He had never before met anyone who could say something like that immediately after being rejected. It was unnerving.
"Um, yea..." He had no idea where the blush was coming from, but he stopped it from surfacing anyway. There were certain things that, if he couldn't explain them to himself, he certainly didn't want to have to bother attempting to explain them to someone else.
"Do you mind if I sit here for a while, though?" That same expression of hope had returned to the girl's face, and Gene wondered seriously how the same expression could be used for such different questions. He let it slide quickly, though, not wanting to injure his brain any more than need be.
"Not at all." In fact, he rather liked the idea of company. Fred usually ate lunch with him, but today the other young man had been held late in his voice class for reasons on which he had forgotten to elaborate. It had been very difficult for the redhead to admit that, yes, he missed his roommate.
It was amazing that he wasn't suffering from a serious nosebleed.
So, this was the perfect opportunity to distract himself from thinking thoughts that he really didn't care to be thinking at that particular time and place. Melfina, apparently over her initial nervousness, carried on most of the conversation by herself, Gene only occasionally inputting a sentence or two. At one point, the redhead got around to mentioning an acquaintance in his math class who he had, coincidentally, caught giving Melfina a longing gaze on more than one occasion. The girl giggled again upon receiving the information, saying that she would make sure to at least say hello to the guy.
"Um, if you don't mind me asking..." The cheerful student tilted her head slightly, giving Gene a sidelong look. "Just who is it that you like?"
Gene choked on a piece of lettuce.
"Er... It's just... I mean... you wouldn't... know... them." Rubbing his throat, the redhead tried to quell his sudden bout of anxiety. He had almost forgotten to replace the 'him' with 'them', a far less conspicuous pronoun. He most certainly didn't want people saying that he was gay, and even if Melfina wouldn't say anything, someone else was bound to overhear the conversation.
"Oh." Studying Gene's face for a moment, the girl smiled. "That's all right, I understand if you don't want to tell me. Everyone has their secrets, right?" Her expression was so incredibly bright and cheerful that Gene couldn't help but give it a small smile in return.
"... Yea, I guess so."
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As he walked down the hall to his shared dormitory, Gene hummed quietly, not thinking of anything in particular. He rather enjoyed the mental emptiness: a thing he had long forgotten the beauty of. Turning, the redhead dug around in his pocket for his key ring, still humming beneath his breath.
It wasn't until he had slid the key into the door that he heard the sounds coming from inside of his current abode. Blinking once, Gene leaned closer to the door, trying to discern the mellifluous sounds coming from the other side. In its current state of blankness, his mind was quickly filled by what it finally identified as music.
Finally turning the key, the young man lightly pushed the door open, belatedly realizing that doing this in the first place instead of puzzling outside would have saved him a minor amount of confusion. Shrugging the knowledge off, Gene lightly tossed his book bag onto his bed, following it rather gracelessly. Lying on his stomach, he rested his elbows on the mattress, then his head in his hands.
Fred was singing again.
I just want someone to say to me, (oh oh oh oh)
I'll always be there when you wake.
You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today,
So stay with me and I'll have it made.
Gene found the corners of his mouth turning upward into a smile as he watched the other young man perform, currently facing unknowingly away from his audience. Fred swayed slightly in time with the music, rocking back and forth with the gentle beat.
And I don't understand why I sleep all day,
And I start to complain that there's no rain.
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake,
And it rips my life away,
But it's a great escape.
Escape, escape, escape...Pausing his vocal addition to the song as a guitar solo picked its way into existence, Fred turned, continuing to move slightly in a way that could be described with no other word but dancing. Spotting Gene, the dark-haired young man's eyes widened slightly. However, he didn't even get knocked off his beat. When it was his cue to sing once more, he addressed the song to his observer.
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain,
You don't like my point of view,
And I'm insane.
It's not sane... It's not sane.
The song was something Gene could remember hearing maybe once or twice before, but nothing that registered in his mind as a major deal. It was nice, in spite of all that, and Fred's voice seemed to fit its bittersweet tone perfectly. As the last verse neared, the vocalist crossed the room, stopping in front of the redhead to sing down to him with a slight smile on his face.
I just want someone to say to me, (oh oh oh oh)
I'll always be there when you wake.
You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today,
So stay with me and I'll have it made.
Gene puzzled over this sudden attention, watching as Fred returned to his corner of the room to turn off his small stereo as the song ended. As much as he cherished that previous lack of serious cogitation, he finally admitted that it was to be short lived.
Now that he allowed himself to think about it, the bittersweet tone he had been analyzing previously became a sudden, jarring note in his mind. And had it been coincidental, that Fred had made such a point to address that last verse specifically to him? Had the other man even thought about what he was doing, or had he merely felt like moving to a closer proximity?
As desired as that latter explanation was, it didn't make as much sense as a plausible solution should have.
"Well, aren't you the lucky one." Gene remotely wished that his thoughts had been interrupted earlier, before he had made his rather obvious discovery. "That's twice now you've gotten to hear me live in concert..." He couldn't help but calm slightly as the warmth of Fred's smile enveloped him. "I'm going to have to start making you buy tickets you soon, you know."
"What, don't devoted groupies get to sneak backstage, free of charge?"
Fred looked a bit surprised at this. "You're my groupie now?"
Gene shrugged, his expression good-natured. A part of his mind marveled at how comfortable he had become around the other man. "If it keeps me from having to pay." His roommate laughed.
"Alas, it all comes down to money in the end." Returning to the redhead's bed, Fred plopped down beside the other man gracelessly, leaning back on his hands and giving Gene a crooked smile. "And here I thought that I had won a place in your heart." The tone was light and mocking, but the expression hinted at something much more serious.
Gene stared into the dark-haired man's eyes for a moment, unsure about how to reply. He had a feeling that Fred was trying to confess something, if in a roundabout way; however, a part of his mind argued that he was looking too deeply into things.
For once in his life, the redhead didn't give into confusion. For once in his life, he decided to open himself to all possibilities. For once in his life, he admitted to himself that one of these possibilities might be somewhere along the lines of caring for Fred.
In a more than friendly way.
And, for once in his life, Gene did not let such shocking information jar him.
At least, not at that particular time and place. The jarring could wait. At that particular time and place... there was Fred. Fred and his bittersweet song, Fred and his bittersweet comment, Fred and his bittersweet expression.
Fred and his desperate attempt to find something even remotely similar to his own emotions behind the azure depths of Gene's eyes.
In a move far more courageous than anything previous, Gene slid his hand across the comforter of his bed, gently placing his fingers over Fred's. Dark eyes widened slightly, but the navy-haired man said nothing. Continuing with this sudden streak of boldness, the redhead spoke.
"I wouldn't say that you hadn't won a place in my heart." His mouth suddenly felt dry, but there was certainly no stopping now. He wasn't quite sure how far he had to go, but he did know that he had to do something, anything to take that sadness away from the man sitting next to him.
"Oh?" Fred's eyebrows rose, but his expression remained otherwise bland. However, there was a small flicker of hope in his eyes as he continued. "What would you say, then?"
Gene tried to look away, but found he couldn't. His gaze remained fixed on the other man's dark gaze, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Likewise, there was nothing he could do about what he was leading himself into.
And yet.... That courage that had initiated the situation suddenly seemed mysteriously absent.
"I..." It was a start. A very positive start. It could lead to anything.
In spite of the possibilities, Gene found himself at a loss. Biting down lightly on his lower lip, he searched his mind, lost. This was something new, a situation that he had never previously encountered. He had no past experience to base his next few words on, he-
Feeling something gently brush against his hand, the redhead suddenly found himself able to look down. Spotting the source of the feeling, Gene felt an unexplained (yet completely welcome) sense of relief wash over him. Fred had turned his own hand over, and was slowly running his thumb over the back of the other man's palm. The soft touch, for some reason, comforted Gene far more than anything he could ever hope to dream up.
Shifting his head, the blue-eyed young man found himself looking into his roommate's eyes once more. However, this time he was not lost. This time, he knew what he was going to say.
For once in his life, Gene didn't hesitate. For once in his life, Gene ignored the part of his mind that objected to all of this. For once in his life...
Gene admitted aloud what that one possibility was.
"I'd say that you have a very definite spot there."
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Author's Notes- Shew, how's that for an ending? I admit, this chapter was rather devoid of smut, but such is life. I managed to end it on a happy note, though, so I don't want to hear any complaints. Comments, though, and compliments, are very much welcome. By Ra, what do you think encouraged me to finish this chapter in less than five months anyway? Your reviews really encourage me to get my lazy ass writing, so don't feel that you write to me for naught. I thank all of you reviewers from the bottom of this caramel-filled Hershey kiss that currently serves as my heart. (You see, my heart went out to Trowa in Mezra's "Stealing Rank", so I had to have something to keep me going.)
Also, did you like the song choice for this chapter? In case you didn't know, the song is called "No Rain", and is performed by Blind Melon. It happens to be one of my favorite songs (and also the first song I was truly obsessed with), and I had to use it somewhere. Not to mention that it does fit rather nicely. Don't like it? Life's tough.