Kaoru
Ever had a near-death experience? That was what I think I was having because it was all dark.
I couldn't see anything. But I could smell and hear. I smelled hay, medicine and manure. I guessed I was in a barn or a zoo. Then I heard voices too. Jake, Cassie, Rachel, Tobias, Marco...including Ax. I heard what they said. Some of them wanted to get rid of me. Others didn't.
I realized my eyes were closed. Should I open or not? I was terrified to see everyone watching over me. But I had to face everyone. I slowly opened my eyes.
No one was looking down at me. I looked up and saw seven people all in a conversation. One of them was Takehiro, sitting down on a bale of hay. His head hung low.
Wasn't he going to defend me? He didn't say a single word. Nothing.
The barn became quiet.
Then Rachel exploded, screaming and shouting words I couldn't make out. Ax joined in the din on my behalf. I heard Tobias followed but he wasn't around. Marco helped Rachel win this. Jake started demanding for quiet. Cassie whimpered softly. Zack...he looked away, hanging his head. But I could see, under his fringe, he was grounding his teeth.
I shivered. I felt tears threatening to fall. My heart raced against time. I watched them with wide timid eyes.
They were fighting. Shouting. Screaming. Yelling. Cursing. Crying.
All because of me.
"Stop..." I whispered. They didn't hear me.
"Stop," I begged, hoping they would hear my plea. They didn't. They were too absorbed in their conversation.
"STOP!" I screamed above the havoc. Everything stopped. Everything. "Stop!" They all looked at me.
"Here!" I cried, taking the sword and throwing it to Rachel. "If you want to get rid of me, then kill me for all I care!"
Rachel looked at me, dumbfounded, and to the sword in her hands.
"All I wanted was to find the truth! Is that too hard to ask?" I yelled. Tears fell from my eyes. "I didn't want to hurt anyone! I didn't want to go berserk again! I just...wanted to find the truth..."
I cried uncontrollably. I nearly pulled my hair out of my scalp. I wanted this to end. I just wanted to.
"Please, just kill me already..." I pleaded.
I continued to cry. I buried my face between my knees. All my dignity was gone. I felt my world shattering before my eyes. I felt myself in the middle of everything. I had enough. I couldn't take it anymore.
I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. And heard a soft whisper. "Zoe, it's okay."
"I-It's just..." I muttered, not looking at the person who whispered at me. "I wanted to know what was going on. I wanted to know to protect myself. Like you. You were protecting yourselves. I...just didn't want..."
"I know you didn't," the voice said. "I should have told you sooner."
"Zack!" Rachel hissed.
"Look," the voice shouted at her, sharply. "She was involved in this the very beginning. She was there on that day, too! She should know this too."
"But she was spying on us as well," Rachel hissed defensively. "Her bike was outside and who knows what she had heard!"
"No!" I shouted. "No! It was an accident! I wanted to apologize to Cassie about before! Then I overheard you about this box. You were all suspecting me of stealing it when I didn't! Even though I had it..."
I cried again. My lips were quivering. I wrapped my arms around me. I felt a finger wipe my tear away. I slowly looked up at a face I've seen everyday. My brother.
"Zack," I croaked. He smiled at me. I sniffed. He wiped my tear-stained eyes. I continued to cry again.
"...You all must hate me...for what I've done... If you are...then just get rid of me," I said, crying.
The smile on Zack's face faded away. I didn't care what they'd do to me. I just wanted this to end.
"Please."
I was begging.
I was begging for the consequences. For my own death. I have face death twice, once in the past and back then in the warehouse. I wasn't afraid of death.
Then Rachel threw the sword beside me and yelled at a tone that nearly frightened me. "If you want to die so badly, do it yourself! Don't ask me to do it!"
I looked at the sword near my hand. I wanted everything to end. I was about to reach it but a hand took it away. I looked into Zack's face.
"If you die..." he whispered. "Then I'll go crazy as well."
Our eyes locked together. I didn't want that. I didn't want him to go insane. I cried again.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." I whispered and buried my face in my hands.
Cassie walked over and pulled me to my feet.
"I'm sorry too," Cassie apologized. "We should have told you."
I shook my head. I understood why they never did. They didn't trust me enough. Because I never tried to make any friends. "No... It wasn't your fault. It's because...I kept myself away from everyone...so I wouldn't... I wouldn't..."
I couldn't say it. I couldn't say 'I wouldn't hurt anyone'. I felt her arms wrap around me. I needed that. A hug. I needed that very much.
"Zoe..."
I looked up at Jake. He had a smile on his face, but a weak one.
"We have something to tell you," he said.
I wiped my face and running nose. I looked at everyone. I was waiting, waiting for the truth. I was still shivering though. I was terrified of the truth. I don't know why. One moment, I was determined to find it. The next, I was trembling. I suddenly felt light-headed. I held my head and before I knew it, I blacked out again.
I don't know how long I went out but when I recovered my conscious, I realized I was being carried. I looked up and saw black hair. I recognized the face. The smell. It was Zack.
He was giving me a piggy-back ride. He used to give me rides when we were kids. Whenever I fell and got a cut on the knee, he'd pick me up and carry me home.
I looked around. It was still dark, must still have been nighttime. We were in a forest, on a path. It was then I realized where we were going. Grandpa's bungalow.
Feeling sleepy, I nestled my head on his back and hugged him tightly.
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