Percy Weasley broke the news, interrupting one of their mind-bogglingly dull library sessions.

Harry had been as productive as usual - just on the verge of an open-eyed nap when the door opened and Percy came in, all stiff and well-kempt priggishness.

"Oh, great. Spot of joy on my horizon." Ron made no attempt to hide his dislike.

Percy sniffed, but his eyes were grim. "Professor Dumbledore has sent me to speak to you. There's been an attack."

"Another one?" Hermione sat up.

Harry groaned. "Tell me he's not free."

Percy shook his head. "He Who Must Not Be Named is still safe in his prison, though there have been suspicious occurrences at the Ministry of late. No, the attack was right here, this morning."

"What?" Harry stood up instantly. "Remus! Is Remus...?"

"As I understand it, Seamus Finnigan is missing. No one heard or saw a thing, and no one else was hurt at all."

"Seamus?" Hermione gasped, wide eyes going to Ron and Harry. "Oh no!"

"Professor Snape received a message he believes was sent from the grounds as the attack happened. Draco Malfoy is the main suspect."

" i Fucking Malfoy /i ."

It wasn't the first time they had run in to their old enemy. Their auror work had brought them into close contact more than a few times.

"Ron." Hermione was too distracted to really chastise, though. "We've got to get him back. He only just found us again." She stood up, grabbing Ron's arm since he was in easy reach. "Come on. We'll talk to Dumbledore and figure out how to help."

Ron went along without a word, pushing past Percy. "C'mon, Harry."

Harry hesitated for a moment, seeing a grimace on Percy's face. "Is that all you know so far?"

Percy shrugged, chin raising higher in the air. "I'm sure it's all that matters."

Harry Potter was a great many things, but stupid wasn't one of them. He wasn't the brightest, maybe, and not always the most perceptive. But he wasn't completely stupid.

He knew, for instance, that knocking on the door was a bad idea. Snape wasn't going to be in the best of moods, and Harry wasn't a person Snape ever wanted to see.

But he wanted to knock. He felt he had to knock.

So he knocked.

The door flew open and black eyes narrowed the moment they saw him. "News?"

Harry shook his head.

"Then leave me alone."

The door slammed shut.

Harry sighed. He turned away from the door. Then he proved that maybe he was stupid after all by turning and knocking again.

"What?"

"I need to talk to you," Harry said.

Snape opened the door only as much as he absolutely had to to fit through, and it shut behind him. "Talk then. I'm in the middle of important potions. "

Harry squared his jaw. "I'm sorry, alright?" That ought to shut the git up.

Snape responded more characteristically than Harry had thought to give him credit for. "Go to hell, Potter. You don't have any idea what you're talking about. You didn't then, and you don't now."

"Which 'then' are you talking about?" Harry asked as Snape turned as if to go back in hiding.

"Any of them, dolt!" Snape stayed turned, his voice low. "You came into this world an ignorant Muggle-raised boy who knew nothing. You took the first opinions you heard as fact. You made snap judgements that you have somehow managed to keep from changing with age or experience. You're as foolish as any I have ever taught, and right now I don't want to be burdoned with your presence."

Snape went back into his quarters and slammed the door hard enough to make stone corridors echo.

Remus Lupin was a lot of things, but insensitive was not one of them. At least he liked to hope not.

He knocked on the door softly, in his own way apologetic. He could imagine the sort of curses going on behind the heavy door as he waited.

Finally it opened. "Lupin." Black eyes stared out at him.

Remus smiled tightly. "May we speak?"

"Not if you've come to beg my indulgence of that idiot ward of yours."

He held his hands up, palms out. Unarmed. "I'll not mention his name."

Snape hesitated, searching Remus's face.

Remus was not Snape's friend; a fact he was painfully aware of every time those black eyes turned his way. But he did know Snape. He had known him as long as he knew his oldest friends. Not well, but he had been a background audience to Snape's entire life. He saw Snape in his first year at Hogwarts, pale and different. He saw, though he didn't pay much attention, as Snape was sorted and fell into a group of Slytherins more polished and sophisticated than him. He saw the boy vanish into studies and books. He saw him the victim of Remus's own friends, and he saw Snape's reactions grow more violent as years went on.

He saw the Slytherins Snape played tagalong to grow more twisted, and when they left school Remus said good riddance and knew they would all end up footsoldiers to this new evil that called itself Voldemort.

He joined the Order and heard about, though he didn't see himself, Snape showing up at Hogwarts one summer, confessing his sins and submitting to Dumbledore's will. His penance was set at a life of spying and double crosses. Most likely a death sentence, but Snape obeyed.

Remus had never liked Snape, though he was the first to admit he had never gotten to know him. Then Remus lost those incredible men he called his best friends, and without their influence he was left to develop his own opinions and ideas, and he saw Snape through a new light.

Not pleasant, of course. Snape was never pleasant. But there was more to good and bad than smiles and manners. What Snape was doing was good, and though Snape complained, loudly and often, he never threatened to quit.

He was alone, and Remus could sympathise.

They were not friends. But Remus could read his expressions. He saw something flicker in Snape's eyes in the pause after Remus spoke, something that seemed important.

Snape opened the door and moved back inside.

Remus hesitated then moved into the quarters. He had never seen those rooms before, and he looked around for just a moment before focusing his attention on Snape. "Are you alright?"

Snape snorted and moved to a pile of books on a table, half of them open and the other half shoved in a precarious stack. "I'm busy. If you're here for small talk you can turn around and leave."

"Asking how you are at a time like this isn't small talk."

Snape's eyes flickered up to him. "I'm well enough."

Remus studied him. He had no idea what to make of Seamus Finnigan living with Snape, and no idea how Snape would feel with Seamus missing. "Severus...my ward,who shall remain nameless, is worried about you. Given that he has never shown concern for you before, it worried me in turn."

Snape laughed unpleasantly. "What's wrong with Potter? Is he afraid poor Finnigan has fallen into more evil hands than mine?"

Remus shrugged. "Harry is paranoid about you. He's paranoid about everyone. I won't make excuses for him. I just want to know how you're doing."

Snape slammed a book shut, and when he looked up Remus noticed that he was a good deal more pale and drawn than usual. He rubbed at his left arm, grimacing, and fell into his chair. "I've told you I am well. Ask a dozen more times and the answer will stay the same. If that's all, you can leave me the hell alone."

Remus moved in, seeing the blanch and hearing the controlled way he spoke. He saw the brightness of black eyes and frowned. "You're in pain."

Snape bared his teeth, but didn't answer.

"What's wrong? Your arm...?"

"Yes, my bloody arm." Snape stood and went to a table against the wall where two cauldrons sat bubbling. He peered into one.

"Severus. What's going on?"

"Do you honestly think the Dark Lord has no way of getting back at people who betray him?" Snape's voice was hard, condescending. "Do you think he gives us Marks because he is fond of tattoos?"

Remus paled. "He hurts you through the Mark? How long...?"

"Years, if you have to know. Since the day he found out about my betrayal. He's quite talented at dealing out pain. I believe it's why he never looked for me, though he must have known I was alive. Because of this." He raised his sleeve, rubbing at his Mark. Remus caught a glimpse of black and shocking red. "He has driven his betrayers mad using this. Regulus Black." He glanced at Remus. "Sirius Black never cared to know how his brother died. I could have told him. He died in agony, crying out his brother's name like a lost child."

Remus winced.

"That's what the Dark Lord does. He punishes. If you displease him he deals out pain. If you please him he deals out pain, just so you don't forget your place."

"How do you live?" Remus asked, staring at his arm.

"In time I was able to come up with the proper mix of pain draughts."

"You should have told someone," Remus said, knowing the pain of going through such hardships alone.

"To what end? I am the only one who could have found the potion that wouldallow me to live normally. I would have received no sympathy or aid."

"That's not..." Remus hesitated. He liked to think he would have helped, but at the time Snape disappeared there were so many battles and problems and more immediate needs.

Snape nodded as if he appreciated Remus not lying to him. He dropped his hand, revealing the Mark - or what was left of it.

Remus breathed in. "Merlin! "

"It drives men mad. Stronger men than me." Snape's voice was quiet. "I'm not the first to try to end the suffering in desperate ways. But the Mark is deeper than skin, and no matter how I sliced the pain remained."

Remus reached a hand out to puffed, ferocious scars. "Merlin," he said again. His heart ached, never used to the horrors of war and the evil that caused it. He stopped before he could touch it, staring at the damage.

Severus jerked his arm away. "Stop, Lupin. If you want to gape go ahead, but wipe that look off your face that says you're trying to be concerned."

Remus jerked his eyes from the Mark to Severus's face. "I am concerned. I'm alarmed. This is too big for you to have dealt with alone, Severus. I wish-"

"Wishes are pointless. They're also too easily made to be sincere most of the time. You can bloody well keep them to yourself, because I don't need them." Snape turned away.

There was a pause, and when Snape spoke again his voice was softer. "And I wasn't alone. Not after the beginning."

Seamus. "I'm glad, then. I'm glad he's been a comfort to you."

Snape stared at the two cauldrons. He went to the second, peering down into it with an odd look on his face.

Remus stood, awkward. He was about to make whatever graceful exit he could manage when Snape spoke.

"The first time he told me he loved me I laughed. And not nicely."

Remus hesitated. "You thought he was lying?"

"No." Snape's mouth curved up faintly. "He is a ridiculously bad liar." He shook his head, looking away from Remus. "I thought he was insane. I thought he was fooling himself, or desperate." He rubbed at his arm, paling as a tremor shivered through him. "It was when I first told him about this, about why I had to take a potion every few days. That was his response. Love."

There was a slight echo of a sneer in Snape's tone, and Remus understood. He was well acquainted with that feeling of being unloveable. He imagined it would be hard to believe if anyone ever said it to him. Harry had said it in a rare moment of weakness, but that was a different sort of love.

"He's an idiot," Snape said after a moment. "Taking those walks. He should never have been where they could get him. Foolish, ridiculous child."

"Will Malfoy kill him?"

"Probably." Snape's eyes went back to the cauldron. "If he's gone for too long he'll die with or without Malfoy's help."

Remus frowned.

Snape shook his head. "I've got work to do, Lupin. Is there anything else?"

"Severus..."

Dark, pained eyes glanced his way.

Remus was shocked. Not from the emotion in Snape's eyes but from the fact that he could see it, that Snape's shields were so weak. "Alright. You know where I am, should you need anything."

"Fine." Snape turned and strode back to his table and the books he was reading.

Remus left, uncertain if he should feel better or worse than he had before he knocked on that door.