Hello. Sorry this took so long. It's the end of the school year and I've got piles of shit to do. (That and I've been really into Spiral lately.) Therefore, this story won't be updated very much for the next month (like it has been at all recently? -.-'). Also, please make note of my name change and the fact that I am a very fickle person and like to change usernames a lot.

This chapter isn't anything special. I needed to update and I figured since this will be on hold (sort of) I shouldn't write anything too angsty or important to the shreds of this plot that are trying to tie themselves together. Therefore, I just wrote a sort of silly, sort of smutty chapter that doesn't have anything to do with Norway or Eiri's lack of people skills. I don't like it much, but who knows? Maybe one of you will.

Anyway, without further ado, here is the sixth chapter to the random story with the random title and random plot.

WHAT. THE. HELL?

I don't know what possessed me to hike over to where Eiri has settled himself, which is three blocks away from my apartment. Coincidence or Tohma? Most likely the latter. Eiri's bought himself a small white house that looks more like a condo in assisted living than the house of a 26 year old perverted romance novelist.

I glare at the door for about thirty seconds before Eiri opens it slowly. He probably thinks it's Tohma with leftover ramen.

"Shuichi?"

"Obviously." Eiri's covered in some form of grime. I have a feeling I'm going to regret interrupting whatever manly activity he was doing. There's a second of awkward silence, and I hear a sound in the background that sounds kind of like the angry dead chick in 'The Grudge'.

"Why are you here?"

"You gave me your address, didn't you? Would you like me to leave?"

"No, no. Come in."

I step inside and look around. This place looks as empty as his last one. The Grudge-esque sound is getting louder. I look around to see if maybe the sink is spurting leftover food. It isn't.

"What's that noise?"

Eiri looks uncomfortable. "My shower."

"Ahhhh…."

"Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you." That shouldn't surprise me, but it does. How depressing. I sit on his couch. It's large and overstuffed, a lot different from the one I used to sleep on frequently. Eiri sits down next to me.

"S-so… did you need something?"

"No. I just wanted to see where you live."

Eiri smirks. "Would you like a tour?"

"I'll wait until your shower stops having convulsions."

There's a moment of awkward silence before Eiri magically appears a few inches closer to me than he was before, giving me a look like a starved animal that's just spotted a cheeseburger on the sidewalk.

"Whoa. Easy there, Sparky."

Eiri's expression changes from exceptionally horny to exasperated. "Sorry! I've been deprived for the last three years!"

HA! HA! HA!

"Have you really?"

"What, you don't believe me?"

I pretend to ponder this for a moment. What I'm really pondering is how to get my conscience to take a holiday and develop a sadistic streak.

I grin at Eiri and let him kiss me until he's trying to remove my shirt. I gently push him away.

"You are not touching me when you're covered in whatever shit that is."

"Jesus. You're still an expert at ruining the mood, aren't you?"

"And you're still an asshole."

Eiri scowls. "I was kidding, Shu! Kidding!"

"I wasn't."

He sighs. "Fine. I'll go clean up."

"Where? Your shower's apparently defective."

"I'll use the kitchen sink."

As he's de-griming himself, I listen to running water and mumbled swearing while pondering how to take advantage of my regained womanly power. Eiri returns looking wet and quite disheveled.

I can feel my sex drive making its grand return as he glares at me.

"Are you happy now?" he snitches as he throws his towel across the room.

"Yes, very."

"Good." He leaves wet footprints on his floor as he trudges over to where I'm still sitting to resume what we started.

We engage ourselves in a game of tonsil hockey while he tries to move his hands faster than he can. I guess he really has been deprived.

Unfortunately for him…

"Mmm...Shuichi…?

…the deprivation…

"Shuichi? Hey, where are you going?"

…will continue.

"I have to go to work." I wave to him. "Don't miss me too much!"

I hear him cursing the world as I slowly close the door and bounce away giggling like a school girl. After years of being submissive and obedient, I, Shuichi Shindou, have finally been given the upper hand in my demented relationship.

I wish I had known before that power trips are a natural high.

This should be a whole lot of fun.

Maybe this story will be more fun once I stop acting so loopy. Who knows? Anyway, thanks for reading and for your reviews. I appreciate you guys so much. Special thanks to Kitty in the Box for reviewing every chapter and always being honest, and to Yasu-chan for just rocking in general.