Chapter 21

Kaoru

"...Fine," I said, not realizing that I said that. "I promise not to take any more chances."

Rachel finally backed off. Retreated to a corner with her grief. Marco and Ax went after her. I could hear the three of them whispering but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

I sat with my back against a wall and waited for Tobias, Jake and Zack to return. Erek sat silently a few yard off. I almost have the sense he was protecting me.

I was numb. Horrified by Cassie's death. Racked with guilt. But unsure what I could have done to prevent it. Maybe if I had known about the vision. No. That wouldn't be convenient. Maybe...if I had never joined. Never known all of this. I tried to hide my tears, but I let it all out.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Hours seemed to creep by. Then –

Flap, flap, flap.

I jumped to my feet as one – no, two – three! – birds flew into the factory. Relief rushed over me as the others came running.

[ Prince Jake! ]

"Jake!"

"Oh, Jake... Cassie... Cassie is..."

Jake landed next to where Cassie's small form was laid out. He began to grow put pf his falcon form, to re-emerge as human. As his human mouth formed, he let out a scream filled with rage and grief that turned my stomach.

It was my fault. If only I had told them. If only. My lips trembled as I bit it. I was crying. Crying because...I have lost a friend whom I've just met. Like Sakura.

If only I never had met them. None of this would have happen.

If only...

*****

Takehiro

We all looked down at Jake as he stared down at Cassie, screaming. I felt sorry for him. To lose someone very close. Somehow, I had that feeling too. And this time, it was the third time.

I looked around and counted who was still here.

All was present except...

"Kaoru?" I called softly. She wasn't around. But I sworn I saw her sitting not far. "Kaoru?"

I saw a wave of something near the entrance of the factory. I walked closely to it. Tied to a pole was a piece of blue cloth.

A bow. Kaoru's bow.

I pulled it away and looked at it carefully. I stared up at the entrance with horrified eyes. She had left the factory.

"Kaoru!" I yelled, throwing away the ribbon and dashing out of the factory. I looked around, trying to see a glimpse of her in the crowds of Iskoort. But she was already gone. Gone.

"Kaoru!" I called again. She didn't answer. Nor did she come back.

"What's wrong?" Marco asked, coming out of the factory.

"Kaoru's missing!"

"Well, she couldn't have gone far."

"Leave her," someone said icily.

We looked at Rachel. She was glaring at us.

"How can you say that? The Howlers might come after her!" I yelled.

"So what? If it wasn't for her, Cassie would have been alive!" she barked.

I couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Are you saying this is Kaoru's fault?!" I demanded.

She didn't reply. Only, glared at me.

"...If it's her fault too, then it's mine as well," I snapped.

"Zack," Marco tried.

But I ignored. "But the one person I blamed on is you, Rachel."

She stared at me, startled for a while, then glared back at me.

"Because I trusted you! I trusted you as a friend to be helpful for my sister! She only joined this group! How could she have known this would happen?! TELL ME HOW!" I snapped loudly at her that she nearly shrugged her shoulders.

Time was ticking. I had to find Kaoru. I turned away from her and ran to find Kaoru. She couldn't have gone far. I had to find her before the Howlers do.

...Or else, I would lose another person that I cared, just like Sakura and Cassie.

******

Kaoru

I ran. I ran till I hid in a building with mirrors. Mirrors that looped, tangled, widened, shortened and lengthened. I fell to the floor, my back facing a mirror and wept. Wept for Cassie. I blamed on myself for not saving her sooner.

For not telling everyone the vision.

It was my fault I didn't do anything. If only I had...

If only you had…

I lifted my head from my hands. Someone just spoke. But who?

"Who's there?"

But you thought it was merely a dream. You didn't see its true meaning.

"H-How was I suppose to know this would happen?!" I demanded.

You hid away from the darkness.

Darkness? "What do you mean by that?!"

How far will you run? How long will you hide? It will break through your defenses, no matter how hard you try to stop it.

"It? What are you talking about?!"

Your other self.

"Who are you?!" I demanded.

Cruel laughter resounded in the building, in the darkness.

"Who am I?" the voice asked.

Suddenly, in a mirror to my far right was a red eye that pulsed and seemed to grow some sort of extension from below. A body of sort? Or a machine? A little of neither both.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Crayak."

I slowly backed away. Something about this, this Crayak frightened me. More the feeling I faced when encountering Visser Three.

Laughter echoed from a mirror to my far left. A creature was in it. Two legs. Body held forward and balanced by a stubby tail. Like a bird or a small dinosaur.

Its hands were flimsy. Weak. Its head was vaguely human in shape. The eyes in the head, wide-set.

"Looks like someone here needs help," the creature said with a grin. Intelligent. Yet evil. "Don't you, Kaoru of the Shattered Sight?"

"What do you want?" I asked, trying to sound brave.

"We know you are brave," Crayak's tone condescended. "But you cannot always be as brave as you are. You do need help."

"...And why would I need your help?" I spat.

"You want to be free, don't you? Free from your haunted past. Free from all the deaths that you yourself caused. I can free you. Free you from everything. Free from it," it said.

"What do you mean?! Free myself from what?" I shouted.

"From your other self."

"What does that mean? What other self?!" I yelled.

"You want to know?" the creature sang.

With one clawed finger, it pointed to the mirror in front of me. I looked up. Slowly, as if emerging from the depths of the mirror, a figure took form. A figure I kept on seeing in my nightmares. A figure I wished I never saw.

Myself. My evil self. The one I saw in my subconscious mind. The one from my vision. I nearly tumbled back as she stared coldly with those calm eyes. Eyes of a killer, a murderer.

"I-It's a dream! It has to be," I whimpered.

"A dream? If it were, can this happen?" Crayak laughed.

As if walking towards me, one foot stepped out of the mirror, followed by the other. Out the mirror, she walked. And stood right before me. For real.

"This-This is just an illusion," I spat at Crayak.

"How can it be an illusion..." a voice, a familiar voice spoke.

Was that me speaking? No, it couldn't be. I didn't even move my mouth.

"When I am you?" the samurai asked.

I shivered terribly. The samurai spoke...my voice.

Shnng! The samurai drew her sword from the scabbard.

Can you defeat me? Can you seal me away? You can't.

Before I could do anything, before I could react, she thrust me with the cold blade right in my shoulder. I felt pain. Pain for the first time. And it was different from any other pain I ever felt before.

*****

Takehiro

Where is she?

I ran through the crowds of Iskoort, looking left and right, hoping to see her among them.

Could she have gone far?

I pushed through, hoping to see her before the Howlers would find her.

Please...

I felt panicked, worried and horrified.

Please, let me find her!

My only sister. The only one I cared since a lot of things had happened to us.

My father left us for no good reason.

Sakura, our friend and Miaso's older sister, was murdered.

Our mother told us to leave Japan. Not because she didn't want us, but it was for our own sake.

Our sake from what?

It didn't matter.

But what kept me on when those happened was Kaoru. She had high hopes and determination.

"We might meet mom and dad again," she used to say. "We just might."

Because of her, my life would have been different. Because of her, I would have never been strong.

KA-SKRSH!

I stopped. I heard the sound of glass breaking nearby. A few blocks from here. I dashed to the direction of where the sound came.

Oh, please, let Kaoru be alright.

*~*~*~*~*

Kaoru

Glass shattered over me as I crashed into a mirror. Oh, god, the pain. I coughed out blood as I tried to crawl away from the approaching samurai. Retreating wasn't going to be easy. She kicked me in the stomach and thrown me aside.

"How does it feel to be weak?" the creature asked. "Painful?"

I choked out, feeling the warmth of my own blood come out of my mouth. I struggled to my feet and clutched to my stomach. I saw a flash of metal. I ducked. It was just inches from my forehead.

POW!

I choked. She fired a punch at me. I fell down, clutching in pain. I couldn't bare it. I couldn't take it. It was too unendurable.

"Do you to be free? Free from your other self?" Crayak asked. "I can help you."

WHOOSH! It had no sound, but it felt like there should have been a sound.

In an instant, I found myself in a world that everything was altered. I wasn't in the building. I couldn't explain where I was. But there was one thing I could describe. A mirror stood far from me. A mirror that showed the building. Showed the samurai and me lying painfully, bleeding.

It was as if I was there but not really there.

And I knew I wasn't alone. Crayak was with me.

"Feel better?" Crayak asked. Its tone was like a mad person. "Do you want to be free from this torture? I can help you. I can help you gain the power. The power you need to break free. You can use your true powers. To wipe away your fears and terror. To destroy the Yeerks in a blink of an eye."

"...Why are you helping me? There's a catch, isn't there?" I asked. I didn't trust this – whatever it is.

"Catch?" it laughed. "Why, simply a favour, I am asking. I want you to destroy one person. The one called Jake."

That startled me. "Why?"

"Because he destroyed my Howlers once before you joined the Animorphs."

"...No," I hissed.

"Kaoru, think properly. This is a chance to destroy the Yeerks once and for all. To save the life of every human on the planet. This is also a chance to be free. Are you willing to sacrifice billions of lives and yourself to save just one? I'm offering you the chance. What is it going to be?"

I relaxed a fist. If I would accept, all the Yeerks would be gone and everyone could have a normal life. But then...I would be a killer if I had to kill Jake.

"No! You can't make me murder anyone!" I yelled, backing away. "I said to myself I wouldn't do anymore bloodshed. I won't kill anyone again!"

Crayak chuckled. "You say you wouldn't...but what about your dark side?"

"Huh?"

What about my dark side? I felt scared for some reason. Was my dark side a threat?

"Sooner or later, you will lose all control over your dark side. She will run free and kill again. You will be endangering your friends. Including your brother," Crayak added.

I never realized that. All this time, I was a danger to everyone. Just because of my dark side.

"All you need is to kill Jake and you will be free. You will not be a killer to them and everyone is happy. So what shall it be?"

If I were to kill Jake, I'd still be a murderer! I wouldn't be free from it. From my endless sin! That snapped me into reality.

"NO!" I screamed. "I WON'T DO IT!"

"...You're letting a bargain go to waste, Kaoru," Crayak uttered.

WHOOSH! I was back. On the floor, breathing heavily. I heard the swing of the sword. I dodged to the left, missing the thrusting blade that would have daggered into me. I quickly got up and faced my dark side. But she was gone.

And she appeared an inch near my face. She was so close I could punch her. But I didn't react enough. She swung a kick right at my stomach, throwing me to another mirror.

KA-SKRSH!

Every piece of broken glass fell everywhere as I felt myself being hauled out of the building onto the street. I tried to get up but I was loosing blood fast. The samurai approached me.

"This is your last chance, Kaoru." Crayak's voice resounded in my head. "Just say the word."

"...N-no," I managed to mumble. I didn't want to. "I rather die than to kill again!"

"So be it." I heard the samurai speak sharply. 

Without warning, my dark side fired a blow at me, this time more powerful. I skidded across the floor at about maybe ten feet away. The bones in my right arm cracked into pieces. I coughed out a lot of blood.

Then she walked closer to me. She was still smiling. She was enjoying this. When she was near, she gave me her icy cold face before she raised her sword, directing at my heart,

I closed my eyes. I knew the truth. I had no time to morph. I was going to die. And no one was going to save me.

And I wasn't afraid to face death again.

SHASH!

Am I dead yet, I wondered.

I opened my eyes.

Standing there in front of me was Takehiro. Not only that, three giant plates encircling a circular transparent shield, all made entirely of light had suddenly appeared at his command and were protecting us from the reserved-edge sword.

I heard shouts behind us. Coming to our aid were the gang. Then Ax gazed at the shields and shouted.

[ Those...are the Shields of Karine! ]

*****

Tigerlily-2250 and S.H. – The reason why Ellimist is giving Kaoru a task is because...wait, I'd be talking the spoiler. Let's just say three new ethereal beings want to know whether she's worthy of holding their power. And yes, S.H., I am sorry if I've taken that part from the book but I did try to change it as possible. Gomen. And yes, Ellimist knows. Tigerlily, don't worry, Cassie will live, also Takehiro.


Wait a min... Drat! Gave a spoiler!

Anyway, thanks for reviewing.