I forgot to write an intro to my last posting, so here's one for both of them. Yay! You like me! You really like me! Well, you like my stories at least. I want to write full stories from these, but I've got so much stuff on my plate right now... It'll come eventually! My other problem is which one to start with! Dilemma! Okay, enough talking. Here be the next installment!

I do not own any of Squaresoft's characters. Please do not sue me! Remember, imitation is the highest form of flattery!

Final Fantasy IX

Zidane

Zidane was an actor/thief at heart, so after saving the world, he moved back to Lindblum and started his own theatre company. He put on such plays as Life of a Salesman, Maine!, The Tyvek Menagerie, and The Tympani Player on the Roof. But his major hit, of course, was Springtime for Kuja. None of his plays were any good, considering they were all rip-offs of other plays. The only play that made any money was Springtime for Kuja, but that was actually because he sold more shares of it than he actually had. When his evil plot was discovered, he was sent to jail, where he...no, wait. That's the plot of The Producers. Well, Zidane, he actually just faded into oblivion and became a pickpocket in Lindblum. Eventually, his thief friends came to help him with his theatre company, but there wasn't much they could do to resurrect the already pathetic theatre.

Garnet a.k.a. Dagger

When the crystal (is the crystal the bad guy? I don't know) was destroyed, Dagger was returned to Alexandria and crowned official queen of Alexandria. She declared May 21 National Dagger Day and made everyone build mini-shrines of her in their houses. She sends patrols in once every week to make sure that everyone worships her. Being the spoiled brat that she is, Dagger threw hissy fits whenever she couldn't do things like throw the entire country in jail for jaywalking. She didn't understand why you just can't do that. Finally, her wrath went overboard when she didn't receive a birthday gift from her Uncle Cid in Lindblum. She decided to blow Lindblum up. Her advisors tried to tell her that this was a bad idea as it might start a war with Lindblum. Her advisors also tried to tell her that it wasn't even her birthday. But, she just had her advisors thrown in jail and blew Lindblum up anyway. Cid took advantage of this attack to run away to Spira and become a bald Al Bhed man. When Dagger had destroyed Lindblum, she rebuilt it as a shrine to herself. The whole city is laid out in the shape of her head and everyone in Lindblum dresses exactly like her. Dagger also took this time to throw Zidane in jail for sexual harassment. However, Zidane just escaped and restarted his pathetic excuse for a theatre troupe again. Dagger gave up on him and just charged him the Dagger tax, which adds up to about $42,156,738 a year.

Steiner and Beatrix

Steiner and Beatrix got married and moved to Conde Petit. They were very happy there, until the little potato people and the "Rally-ho!" crap started to get on their nerves, which took about...fifteen minutes. So they moved back to Alexandria and bought a quaint little shack near the castle. It was actually a pretty nice house, compared to the rest of Alexandria, which Queen Dagger had never bothered to rebuild after the fiasco with Kuja. Steiner and Beatrix started a family, ending up with a grand total of 104 children, just barely losing out to Seymour and Yuna. Imagine the whole rooms full of baby pictures! Man! Anyway, Beatrix taught every single one of her children how to fight exactly like her, while Steiner, who earned the bread in the family, worked with Zorn and Thorn in a weapon/synthesis shop in town. Actually, Zorn and Thorn ran the store. Steiner just swept up and carried the customers' purchases to their cars for them. Anyway, Steiner gave his kids superb armor that he "borrowed" from the weapon store, and the sword-magic skill, so together, Steiner and Beatrix created an unbelievably skilled army that they hired out as mercenaries. Don't mess with their kids; it'll be the last thing you do.

Vivi

When the evil cloud of darkness that plagued Gaia was defeated, Vivi was a little depressed about the whole Black-Mages-being-manufactured-and-used-as-mindless-mercenaries thing. He decided to become a recluse and went to live in his grandpa's cliff dwelling house near Treno. He sat around, watching soap operas on daytime TV until he decided that he needed to get out and do something with his life. Vivi went to Treno and joined the nearest Boy Scout troop. He was a very good Boy Scout, as he didn't even need to use matches or sticks to start fires and he could easily put fires out with ice and water magic and stuff. He was so good, he got all the badges in approximately one hour. After he got all the badges, he started his own troop out of the Black Mage Village. All the Black Mages that weren't loyal to Eiko joined his troop. They went on camping trips in the forest and accidentally burned the forest down around the Black Mage Village. Oops. After that, Vivi decided it would be a good idea to stop with the camping trips. They decided to go hang out in Alexandria, but when they showed up, everyone ran away screaming. So the Black Mages all got the front row seats at the only play in town at the time, which happened to be Springtime for Kuja. Of course, it was really bad. What do you expect from one of Zidane's box office nightmares? All the Black Mages hated it so much that they blew up the stage. Zidane, being the dense, stupid fool that he is, took this as applause and decided to write more plays. All the Black Mages ran away before Zidane could make them watch any more plays. They traveled to Hollywood and became the best special effects people ever.

Freya

Freya decided to go back to Burmecia and rebuild her shattered life. The only problem was that Burmecia was still an abandoned wreck of a town dominated by a perpetual rain cloud as a result of Queen Brahne's stupid Black Mages and extremely unusual weather patterns. Freya decided to go to Cleyra, but all that was left of that was the burnt and blackened tree stump and a bunch of sand. Freya was very sad. She didn't know if there were any of her mouse-like people left in the world. She knew some were living in Lindblum, but she didn't like those people. They were weird. She also knew that her ex-boyfriend Fratley was still wandering around with amnesia. Freya decided to go find Fratley. She wandered around and looked everywhere that Fratley could possibly be, but she still couldn't find him. Eventually her search led her to Broadway and she decided to go see a show. She noticed that Riverdance was playing at one of the theatres and she decided to go see it. She bought a ticket and went in. The minute the show started, Freya was in love. She ran up onstage and started dancing with the Riverdance people. She was hired immediately after the show. One day, Fratley showed up and joined Riverdance, too. He still didn't remember who Freya was, so she came up with a plan. She snuck up behind Fratley one day and hit him on the head with a dictionary. He fell on the floor, unconscious and when he woke up, he remembered Freya. They got married and lived happily ever after touring with Riverdance. Although, every once in a while Fratley passes out as a result of the dictionary. But Freya was okay with that.

Eiko

Eiko decided to move to the Iifa Tree rather than back to Madain Sari. Madain Sari held too many sad memories of the past and it was kind of boring living there all alone, not that the Iifa Tree was a booming metropolis. Anyway, Eiko took her 20,854 moogle friends (the ones that didn't go to Traverse Town and start the synthesis shop) and became a tree-huggin' environmentalist. She chose the Iifa Tree as her home because she thought it would make a point that she was living in a tree, but as no one in Gaia really cared about the environment except for the dwarf people in Conde Petit, her tree home was kind of pointless. So to prove her point even more, she dyed her hair greed and became a "tree-nymph". She didn't know what a tree-nymph was by she talked to her brother-type person, Amarant, who moved to Jamaica and was therefore an expert on Greek mythology. Well, not really. He didn't know much either, so Eiko improvised. What she didn't know, she made up. Eventually, she realized that she would need help in her quest to save the earth from the destruction of Evil Queen Dagger, who by this time had blown up Lindblum and turned it into Dagger City. Eiko drafted all the Black Mages who hadn't joined Troupe #836 to her cause and created more with the Mist from the Iifa Tree when her supply ran low. Together, they dressed completely in green with shamrocks in their hats and passed out pamphlets on the streets of Alexandria and Treno, the only two towns with a relatively high level of sanity still left standing. Instead of taking the pamphlets, however, people pointed, laughed and took pictures. All of the little Vivis felt sorry for Eiko and decided to help, but they didn't do much either. The sight was kind of comical. In fact, the sight was kind of comical. They all looked like mini Lucky Charms leprechauns. Sometimes, the Black Mages would slip out of tree character and say, "Aye, you're always after me Lucky Charms!" to people walking down the street. These people would walk faster and eventually start running. All in all, Eiko's conservationist thing didn't really work, but she kept at it and is still being laughed at to this day.

Amarant

Amarant was a loner, always was, and always would be. So when the evil mastermind bad guy in this game was defeated, Amarant left the group. He had always thought the group was stupid, and anyway, he was a mercenary. He didn't need to hang out with any stupid kinds like Zidane & Co. Anyway, Amarant didn't really know what he wanted to do anymore. The being good thing had grown on him, so he couldn't go back to being a mercenary just like that. He thought about going to Balamb Garden for mercenary training, but when he heard that the Master Fisherman had bought it, he scrapped that idea. He wandered around for a while, finally ending up in Jamaica. The minute he set foot in Jamaica, he knew he was home. He bought a little thatch hut on the beach and bought a few steel drum. He sat around all day, playing his steel drums and saying "Jamaica, mon!" But, as you would expect, that got boring after a while. So he joined the Jamaican bobsled team, with John Candy as the manager. They went to the Olympics and won every gold medal, even the ones that weren't their event, like figure skating and floor gymnastics. This was all thanks to Amarant. They'd walk around with their gold medals and sing, "We are Jamaica, we have a bobsled team!" and everyone would stare at them with annoyance and contempt. Every once in a while, Amarant would return to Alexandria and the surrounding areas and taunt his old "friends" by showing off his medals. He did it so much, that eventually, when anyone said his name, that person would find themselves stuffed headfirst in a garbage can with their shoes over a telephone wire. Amarant quickly got the hint and stopped coming around. But he still shows off his medals to anyone who will listen and, of course, he still plays his steel drums.

Quina

Since Quina was pursuing the career of a gourmet chef, when s/he and the rest of his/her companions killed the bad guy, s/he started a fine dining restaurant. Sadly the restaurant isn't doing too well. All Quina serves is frogs: frog legs, frog soup, frog waffles, frog cheese, frog...well you get the idea. Because of the...ah, diverse menu, the only people who eat there are other Qus. There aren't that many Qus in the world, thankfully.

Kuja

When Kuja was defeated by that girly-lookin' monkey boy (of course, he should talk. He looks like a girl, too), he was kinda sad. He went back to his desert palace and hid in shame. Kuja spent the next year or so perpetually cleaning his palace. His palace really was poorly planned, as it was underneath a desert. Deserts usually contain a lot of sand and this sand found ways to leak into Kuja's house and gather in little piles on the floor and in Kuja's food. Kuja spent every waking moment sweeping and vacuuming the sand up only for more to fall in and get tracked all over his house. One day, Steve/Red XIII showed up and asked if Kuja wanted a roommate. Kuja decided that a roommate would be cool, because Steve could help Kuja clean up the sand. But Steve had other plans. He got Kuja to watch movies all the time and Kuja's house fell into disrepair. But at this point, Kuja didn't care. Finally one day, they got bored and decided to become magicians. They took Kuja's dragon and went to Las Vegas, came up with a spectacular magic show, which involved disappearing dragons and spandex. It was an instant hit. That's Vegas for you... Kuja and Steve now do their show four times a week. They're super-rich and Kuja was able to hire an entire fleet of maid to keep his house clean. Sometimes, Kuja and Steve go back to Kuja's house and throw popcorn on the floor just to annoy the maids.

Moogles

The moogles that weren't interested in protecting the environment moved to Traverse Town and started up a synthesis shop above Cid's accessory shop. They were the only ones in Traverse Town with the synthesis technology, so they made lots and lots o' money. But since they moogles had no money when they started up their shop, they had to take out a monster loan from Cid. So, they owed him about...um...$48 million. But let's not talk about that right now.