15.
Chimera's head lay on Raien's chest. Something he would have given anything for just this morning. His belly rumbled at him, but he didn't pay it any attention. It had been three days without food, but he'd somehow lost his appetite. The familiar sound of Raien's heartbeat, echoed by the monitor was reassuring. It proved with each beep, with each tone, that Raien was still alive. That there was still hope. But Chimera knew this wasn't television. Things don't always end up the way you want them. And with what he'd seen in his life, happy endings are something only normal people can have.
"Chimera." Hank said softly. Too softly. Frustration and sadness, a bad mix when coming from a doctor. "Raien's in a coma." Chimera didn't even move. He thought he should have flinched, or cried, or something, but he didn't even look up. His arm tightened around Raien's waist. Hank held a dark sheet of plastic up to the light. The scan of Raien's brain.
"He has damage to the Parietal Lobe, here," he said, pointing "Its scar tissue. I. I can't do anything, Chimera. I'm sorry. He could wake tomorrow, or in a year, or..." he took a breath. "I've read studies about those in comas such as this being able to hear and understand what is going on around them. I will speak to the Professor. Perhaps he can do something I can not."
Chimera just lay there, waiting for the crushing blow of what Hank had just said to hit him. He just wasn't ready to process what was going on.
Hank checked the gunshot wound in Raien's stomach and nodded. Then looked at where Chimera had chosen to place his head and frowned. The last thing he'd want if he'd been shot was someone sleeping on him, but he also knew that he would have to physically pry Chimera from him. They'd had to do it on the blackbird just for Hank to dress the wound in the first place, and it hadn't been an easy task.
As Hank walked out the door he collided with Bobby. Arms locked around his waist and Bobby's head burrowed into his chest. Hank sighed. Sometimes Bobby really was a child at heart. He had the strangest urge to pin him down right there and tickle him till he cried. But the urge left as quickly as it came when he realized it wasn't a playful hug. His arms closed around Bobby's small form. He straightened and Bobby's feet left the ground. He lumbered back to their room. He actually stopped at that. Their. Strange that he would call it that, even in his own mind. Even stranger, he'd been thinking of his room. They'd been best friends for years, but as far as a relationship goes, he knew they were moving very quickly.
They flopped down on the mattress heavily. It took Hank a moment to realize that Bobby wasn't as warm as he usually was. His body temperature normally changed, but it was always consistent. Today, Bobby was warm in some places, and as he ran his hand down Bobby's back, Hank felt frost. Bobby shook against him and he felt hot tears on his chest.
"Bobby, are you alright?" Hank asked softly while he tightened the embrace, covering the frosty parts as best he could. He'd never thought about having to thaw his friend, but the feeling wasn't entirely unpleasant.
"I thought I was going to lose you, Hank." he whispered. "Why does the world have to hate us? Why can't they just leave us alone? I don't want to co-exist. I don't want peace. I just want to be. With you." his voice had turned shaky. Two hands, much larger than any normal person's pulled Bobby close. They shared a kiss.
Hank was still amazed at all the things that simple tactile contact could convey. When they parted, Hank realized he wanted more, but this just wasn't the time. Bobby lay his head on Hank's broad well muscled chest and sighed. Hank felt Bobby's temperature coming back to normal, which was good because he was beginning to lose feeling in his left arm. He liked the idea of thawing Bobby. The idea seemed strangely erotic to him, and again he had to banish certain thoughts from his mind.
"How is Jubilee, Hank? She looked really terrible." Bobby asked softly.
It took Hank a moment to respond. He was so frustrated at what the Professor and Jean had done. They hadn't even let him give her a proper medical examination or do a blood test. The Professor had since retired to his quarters, but Jean was probably still in Jubilee's quarters doing who knew what in the girl's mind.
"I do not think I'm at liberty to say exactly what happened, even to you, Bobby." Hank said. He felt Bobby sigh again, and arch his back so he could look into his eyes.
"I'm pretty sure I know what happened. I wont tell anyone. I'm just worried, you know?" Bobby said softly. If he'd not been looking at him like this, Hank would almost have taken offense to Bobby's nonchalant sound. The corners of his mouth twitched as he remembered all seven of their scents. He'd so wanted to run through the hallways of that prison, and find each and every one. He wanted to watch their horror as he choked the life-
"Hank?" Bobby asked. Hank suddenly felt very ill. And scared. What had he just been thinking? He shivered, and not because of Bobby's temperature. The ideas that previously had filled his mind repulsed him. Violence only begets more violence. But what they'd done to Jubilee... So innocent, still so naïve. They'd shattered that, they'd taken her youth from her in the most unthinkable way. He heard a sob, deep and low. Bobby was crying? He opened his eyes and realized they stung. Bobby just looked worried. Then who was- Oh. He felt his body shaking. He rolled on his side, laying Bobby on his back. He gazed deep into those crystal blue eyes. Everything he felt about what had happened to Jubilee melted. All the rage, all the anger and frustration just. Left. Hank didn't know if Bobby was aware he had that effect on him. He'd always had it, but neither had been willing to acknowledge it. Hank smiled. What scientists had searched after for decades was here. Right. Here. The cure to the common woe. Bobby Drake.
Bobby sighed heavily, and Hank was suddenly aware that it was a two edged sword. Bobby had the same look in his eyes that Hank knew he had. Fascinating. And something else too. Bobby made him feel desirable. Like he was normal. Like the fur and the fangs and the claws didn't matter. Or rather that they were just another aspect of Hank he could love. His elbow wavered under him. He felt a rush of warmth in his chest. The past three days had seemed like an eternity, and finally he was the one place in all the world he wanted to be.
Bobby laughed softly and pushed Hank's shoulders. Wrestling was it? Hank grinned and easily lifted Bobby into the air. It amazed him that though he knew each time he was far outclassed, he would still try. An eyebrow raised as he pondered another explanation. Maybe. Maybe he wanted to lose. He stopped himself before it turned more serious than simple wrestling. He really had too much on his mind to feel right about it. As he lay his head on Bobby's shoulder, he sighed. Bobby never expected him to be someone he wasn't. He'd always taken him at face value. Most people turned and ran when they saw him. But Bobby. He felt a sudden rush of desire. He wondered if something was wrong with him. He normally had impeccable control of his emotions. He let it drop and drifted to sleep, breathing in Bobby's scent. Even with all that had happened, Hank was happy beyond words to be able to have these moments.
Jean was frustrated. She'd spent six long hours inside Jubilee's broken mind trying to find her, to coax her out of her shell, but to no avail. The images swirling in the girls head sickened her. She'd never been raped, but now she felt like she had. Those feelings, the pain, the fear. Jean shivered. She sat in the mansion's entryway, in a plush chair she especially liked with a glass of warm milk. It had always soothed her nerves when she was younger, but right now it wasn't doing a damn thing. She had a newspaper in front of her, the top story outlining an 'unprovoked terrorist attack on the New York Mutant Sanctuary'. Jean just shook her head. People would believe anything. As a telepath, she knew that fact better than anyone.
A knock at the door jarred her from dark thoughts. Before she really thought about it, she was on her feet, at the door. As she reached for the handle, she saw the security panel. The automated defenses were on. She couldn't sense anyone outside. As she stood there, another three knocks came slowly. She unlocked the door and opened it slowly, readying a telekinetic blast just in case. Jean gasped and nearly sent the woman flying.
"Jean... I. I hoped it wouldn't be you." Said the shaky voice of the last woman on the face of the planet that Jean wanted to see right now. Emma bloody Frost.
"What are you doing here?" Jean asked coldly. The woman obviously had expected to be invited in out of the cold night air, and while Jean was totally aware of manners, she chose to ignore them. Emma, the White Queen, didn't deserve them. She stood in her diamond form, which explained how she'd gotten past the mansion's defenses, and why Jean had been unable to sense her coming. By design, most likely. Jean stared daggers right into her shiny forehead.
"I... I need help." She said slowly, her eyes glittering with the beginnings of tears. Now that Jean really looked at her, she looked dirty and ragged. Something she would never have expected from this woman, who always seemed to be in pristine white, with a complexion to match. Jean watched as the woman's knees shook. Emma was staring at her hands now. Her diamond form dissolved.
"I can't stop it. The crying. I know you can't hear it." Said the ever frigid White Queen as she fell to her knees and totally lost any semblance of composure she had left. Jean was suddenly flooded with the emotions radiating from the woman. She staggered backward at the intensity of it, her hand shook as she brought it to her face. The grief this woman was in was almost unbearable. And Jean already had every shield up she could form. What Ms. Frost must be going through...
Jean pushed past all the hatred she had for this person. The one who had corrupted her when she was possessed by the Phoenix force, the one who had led her to betray everyone she loved. The one who now had collapsed in the doorway, begging for help.
"What happened to you, Emma?" Jean said, surprised at the concern in her voice.
Emma shook for a moment. "They." she said, her lip quivering. "Killed her." Another pause. Another wave of anguish. Then one of regret and self loathing. "And I... I killed them. Killed everyone!" Jean couldn't say anything. Just stood there, mouth open, gaping at what was in front of her.
"Killed... Whom?" Said Xavier from behind them. Jean jumped. She hadn't heard him roll up. Emma looked at him and her eyes seemed to flash in that way that Jean knew to be telepathy. Xavier's eyes opened wide.
"I... I see. You know that you will not have exactly a warm welcome from the other team members," Xavier began. Emma's eyes hit the carpet. Something she'd had to do as a child because of an abusive step father. She'd sworn to herself never to be so weak again. "But you may stay. Temporarily." Extra emphasis on the last word, which pleased Jean.
Emma's eyes slowly rose and locked with the professor's. "Thank you." she said, barely over a whisper. Still, Jean was trying to wrap her mind around the whole scene. Now the woman was going to be living in the mansion? In her house? Before she knew it, Jean had her arms folded across her chest, and was scowling like an old schoolteacher.
Raien's eyes opened to darkness. It was too dark. And he was confused. He had no idea where he was. Flat hard mattress. He moved his arm a little to the left and found the edge of the bed. Infirmary. Why am I in the Infirmary? he thought. Bits and pieces drifted to him. He remembered that he'd pushed himself hard. He'd gone way over what he knew was his limit. He remembered feeling something pop. Well, break may be a better word. Then he woke here.
His feet touched the floor and he had that feeling one gets when you've slept too long. His limbs were weak, his thoughts slow. He stumbled in the darkness to where he thought he remembered the door being. As it hissed open, he could see the light switch. He flicked it on with a trembling hand. He stared at it for a second as it continued to shake, finally holding and calming it with his other. He didn't have long to think about it. When he looked up there was a man standing right in front of him, holding one hand in exactly the way he was. The man looked familiar, and it took him a moment to figure out he was staring into a mirror. A mirror of himself without the glowing eyes. As much as the appearance shocked him, it was what he had wanted his whole life. He looked normal.
He was so lost in the specter on the other side of the glass that he didn't notice Chimera, who'd fallen asleep on the exam table nearest Raien's. He didn't notice the mixed look of immense relief and paradoxically, muted horror. He was unspeakably happy to see his lover, his best and only friend walking, but those eyes. He'd scolded himself constantly. The fear had been lurking in the back of his furry head for two days. The last he'd seen of Raien, he was losing consciousness, and his eyes had been as they were now. Normal. Raien was normal. Chimera wasn't. He felt like he was being left behind. That the allure of the outside world would rip away the only thing that made it worth living to him. The only thing that had kept him from giving into the sorrow of that camp, from becoming cattle like the rest of the mutants was Raien. Those loving glowing eyes that he may never see again.
He tried to get a hold on himself. Raien couldn't see him like this. Couldn't see his turmoil. His worry. He slowly put his feet on the floor. What he had wanted and feared for the past few days was finally here. As he neared Raien, the man turned.
"Chimera! I didn't see you. I... My eyes!" Raien exclaimed happily. His speech sounded a little slurred as though his tongue was too big for his mouth. It was a minute difference that few in the mansion would be able to detect. Something else hit him just then. What Raien just said. Not 'I missed you', not 'I love you'. He felt his heart sink and felt guilty at the same time. If Raien wanted to live a normal life, Chimera would let him. He would bottle his emotions up as he'd done for years. He was so close to crying, right here, breaking down and just letting everything go. He thought he now understood why Bobby had felt the need to-
"Chimera? Are you alright?" Raien asked, stepping into his arms. It took a moment for them to close around him. Raien could tell that something wasn't right, but what, he couldn't tell. Probably something from being imprisoned. He didn't pay it much heed. He was still shocked at his new appearance. He could go for a walk. He could go to a movie. Something he remembered dimly, having not gone much in his childhood and early high school. He could... And his hand shook again. He had to pull away from Chimera to calm it again. He couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. He'd have to ask Hank in the morning. He was happy to be back, to have Chimera here. The smell of him was wonderful again. Like coming home.
Chimera hadn't slept all night. Not that he really had gotten any sleep while Raien had been in his coma, but this was almost worse. He was waiting for the end. Raien was totally oblivious. Chimera mused that it was like the stereotype of the wife being angry at the husband for not knowing what she's thinking. He'd seen that one on television played out a hundred different ways. He knew that the best way to avoid it was to tell Raien what was on his mind. They'd always had a very open relationship. This was the first time that Chimera felt he couldn't tell something to his partner. So he lay there all night, Raien pressed to one side with his head on Chimera's chest. And let the tears slip silently down the sides of his face. In the morning Raien would realize he didn't need this place anymore. In the morning, Raien would realize he didn't need him anymore.
Hours passed and his stomach rumbled. When he moved to get up, Raien made sounds that were obviously "Go ahead, I'm gonna keep sleeping." Chimera ambled down the hallway feeling empty. More than empty. Hollow. As he went into the kitchen, he realized he wasn't so much hungry as just needing something to get him out of bed. He smelled fresh coffee brewing. Perfect.
There was a woman sitting there looking lost, bearing the same expression he felt. Beautiful blonde hair, and a more than revealing white outfit that seemed to clash with the sorrow evident on her flawless face. When she looked up at him, she didn't jump like most people did. She even smiled at him. Not a warm smile, but one that a person fakes when they can't muster a real one. He poured a large cup of the wonderful dark liquid.
"Is this seat taken?" He asked softly.
"No." She replied. Hollowly. Chimera sighed and took the seat across her.
"You're new here?" Chimera asked, trying to initiate small talk. He really didn't want to be alone now, and he sensed from the woman that she didn't want to be alone either.
At first, the woman hadn't really seemed talkative, but once she'd found he was willing to listen to her, she laid everything out on the table. She told him of how she'd been happy in France, with her daughter, for the first time in her life, she'd felt something for someone other than herself. She told Chimera about the capture of her daughter, and how they'd held her as insurance she did what they wanted. That her name was Emma. That they'd stolen her soul. That FoH had raped her daily. In the end, they ended up in one of the nearby Rec Rooms, Chimera cradling her on the couch as she spilled the rest of her tragic story.
Her tears came endlessly from eyes full of pain. She told him how she'd betrayed her kind. How she'd helped FoH capture mutants. Because they would have killed her daughter if she didn't. She'd been used for over a year in this way, which Chimera thought, was far far worse than he'd encountered in his own dealings with FoH. His agony was one day, losing his mother. Hers was spread out over a year. When she told him her daughter had been killed anyway, with Emma watching, helpless to do anything about it, Chimera cried with her.
Then she told him what had happened next. How she'd be so blinded by rage that when she came to her senses, everyone was dead. How she couldn't get the crying of her daughter to stop ringing in her ears. How empty and alone and impossibly hopeless she felt. Chimera just listened to her, telling her it would be okay in the end, that she was in a place where she could get help, and the people here would help her and not treat her like an outsider. She looked at him, wanting to believe his words, but she knew more than he did. She'd dealt with the X-Men several times. Thwarting them and being thwarted by them. She'd been surprised Jean hadn't killed her on the spot. The old Emma would have, in a heartbeat.
"There was one especially that I regretted, Chimera. He found me wandering in the sewer, merely playing bait for the remnants of a group they'd hunted for over a year. I must have appeared as a lost and helpless girl. He took me in. When FoH came for him, he fought for me. He stood in front of me to protect me from the very people I'd delivered him to. He would have won, too, but I... My daughter..." Even she was beginning to find her excuse lame. They'd killed her anyway. There was never going to be an end to what she was doing. She'd been stupid not to see it then.
Chimera was shaken by what she'd said. His heart went out to the mutant who she'd captured. Hopefully he was alright. "Emma, if he'd heard what you just told me, I think he would forgive you. They had your daughter. I know the pain of going through life without love. Especially when you know its going to end." He shook himself, and found her looking at him with such an expression of awe and gratitude that he had to change the subject.
Chimera really was hungry now anyway. He got up fixed them both some pancakes. Emma really did look a whole lot better now than she had before. She wasn't brooding. She'd finally had an outlet for her sorrow. Someone who wasn't already tainted by what she'd already done to each of the other X-men.
Emma reached tentatively into the lion-like man's mind and could feel his turmoil. She suddenly stood up so fast that the plate shattered on the tile floor of the kitchen. She stared at Chimera and felt the need to run. To wipe his mind so that he wouldn't remember the conversation they'd just had. So that he wouldn't remember her. But she knew that the professor was keeping an eye on her, she could feel him on the outskirts of her thoughts, just beyond what any normal telepath should be able to detect. She shook with fear and guilt. And Chimera's look of sympathy just made it worse. She'd just learned the name of his love. Raien.
Chimera's head lay on Raien's chest. Something he would have given anything for just this morning. His belly rumbled at him, but he didn't pay it any attention. It had been three days without food, but he'd somehow lost his appetite. The familiar sound of Raien's heartbeat, echoed by the monitor was reassuring. It proved with each beep, with each tone, that Raien was still alive. That there was still hope. But Chimera knew this wasn't television. Things don't always end up the way you want them. And with what he'd seen in his life, happy endings are something only normal people can have.
"Chimera." Hank said softly. Too softly. Frustration and sadness, a bad mix when coming from a doctor. "Raien's in a coma." Chimera didn't even move. He thought he should have flinched, or cried, or something, but he didn't even look up. His arm tightened around Raien's waist. Hank held a dark sheet of plastic up to the light. The scan of Raien's brain.
"He has damage to the Parietal Lobe, here," he said, pointing "Its scar tissue. I. I can't do anything, Chimera. I'm sorry. He could wake tomorrow, or in a year, or..." he took a breath. "I've read studies about those in comas such as this being able to hear and understand what is going on around them. I will speak to the Professor. Perhaps he can do something I can not."
Chimera just lay there, waiting for the crushing blow of what Hank had just said to hit him. He just wasn't ready to process what was going on.
Hank checked the gunshot wound in Raien's stomach and nodded. Then looked at where Chimera had chosen to place his head and frowned. The last thing he'd want if he'd been shot was someone sleeping on him, but he also knew that he would have to physically pry Chimera from him. They'd had to do it on the blackbird just for Hank to dress the wound in the first place, and it hadn't been an easy task.
As Hank walked out the door he collided with Bobby. Arms locked around his waist and Bobby's head burrowed into his chest. Hank sighed. Sometimes Bobby really was a child at heart. He had the strangest urge to pin him down right there and tickle him till he cried. But the urge left as quickly as it came when he realized it wasn't a playful hug. His arms closed around Bobby's small form. He straightened and Bobby's feet left the ground. He lumbered back to their room. He actually stopped at that. Their. Strange that he would call it that, even in his own mind. Even stranger, he'd been thinking of his room. They'd been best friends for years, but as far as a relationship goes, he knew they were moving very quickly.
They flopped down on the mattress heavily. It took Hank a moment to realize that Bobby wasn't as warm as he usually was. His body temperature normally changed, but it was always consistent. Today, Bobby was warm in some places, and as he ran his hand down Bobby's back, Hank felt frost. Bobby shook against him and he felt hot tears on his chest.
"Bobby, are you alright?" Hank asked softly while he tightened the embrace, covering the frosty parts as best he could. He'd never thought about having to thaw his friend, but the feeling wasn't entirely unpleasant.
"I thought I was going to lose you, Hank." he whispered. "Why does the world have to hate us? Why can't they just leave us alone? I don't want to co-exist. I don't want peace. I just want to be. With you." his voice had turned shaky. Two hands, much larger than any normal person's pulled Bobby close. They shared a kiss.
Hank was still amazed at all the things that simple tactile contact could convey. When they parted, Hank realized he wanted more, but this just wasn't the time. Bobby lay his head on Hank's broad well muscled chest and sighed. Hank felt Bobby's temperature coming back to normal, which was good because he was beginning to lose feeling in his left arm. He liked the idea of thawing Bobby. The idea seemed strangely erotic to him, and again he had to banish certain thoughts from his mind.
"How is Jubilee, Hank? She looked really terrible." Bobby asked softly.
It took Hank a moment to respond. He was so frustrated at what the Professor and Jean had done. They hadn't even let him give her a proper medical examination or do a blood test. The Professor had since retired to his quarters, but Jean was probably still in Jubilee's quarters doing who knew what in the girl's mind.
"I do not think I'm at liberty to say exactly what happened, even to you, Bobby." Hank said. He felt Bobby sigh again, and arch his back so he could look into his eyes.
"I'm pretty sure I know what happened. I wont tell anyone. I'm just worried, you know?" Bobby said softly. If he'd not been looking at him like this, Hank would almost have taken offense to Bobby's nonchalant sound. The corners of his mouth twitched as he remembered all seven of their scents. He'd so wanted to run through the hallways of that prison, and find each and every one. He wanted to watch their horror as he choked the life-
"Hank?" Bobby asked. Hank suddenly felt very ill. And scared. What had he just been thinking? He shivered, and not because of Bobby's temperature. The ideas that previously had filled his mind repulsed him. Violence only begets more violence. But what they'd done to Jubilee... So innocent, still so naïve. They'd shattered that, they'd taken her youth from her in the most unthinkable way. He heard a sob, deep and low. Bobby was crying? He opened his eyes and realized they stung. Bobby just looked worried. Then who was- Oh. He felt his body shaking. He rolled on his side, laying Bobby on his back. He gazed deep into those crystal blue eyes. Everything he felt about what had happened to Jubilee melted. All the rage, all the anger and frustration just. Left. Hank didn't know if Bobby was aware he had that effect on him. He'd always had it, but neither had been willing to acknowledge it. Hank smiled. What scientists had searched after for decades was here. Right. Here. The cure to the common woe. Bobby Drake.
Bobby sighed heavily, and Hank was suddenly aware that it was a two edged sword. Bobby had the same look in his eyes that Hank knew he had. Fascinating. And something else too. Bobby made him feel desirable. Like he was normal. Like the fur and the fangs and the claws didn't matter. Or rather that they were just another aspect of Hank he could love. His elbow wavered under him. He felt a rush of warmth in his chest. The past three days had seemed like an eternity, and finally he was the one place in all the world he wanted to be.
Bobby laughed softly and pushed Hank's shoulders. Wrestling was it? Hank grinned and easily lifted Bobby into the air. It amazed him that though he knew each time he was far outclassed, he would still try. An eyebrow raised as he pondered another explanation. Maybe. Maybe he wanted to lose. He stopped himself before it turned more serious than simple wrestling. He really had too much on his mind to feel right about it. As he lay his head on Bobby's shoulder, he sighed. Bobby never expected him to be someone he wasn't. He'd always taken him at face value. Most people turned and ran when they saw him. But Bobby. He felt a sudden rush of desire. He wondered if something was wrong with him. He normally had impeccable control of his emotions. He let it drop and drifted to sleep, breathing in Bobby's scent. Even with all that had happened, Hank was happy beyond words to be able to have these moments.
Jean was frustrated. She'd spent six long hours inside Jubilee's broken mind trying to find her, to coax her out of her shell, but to no avail. The images swirling in the girls head sickened her. She'd never been raped, but now she felt like she had. Those feelings, the pain, the fear. Jean shivered. She sat in the mansion's entryway, in a plush chair she especially liked with a glass of warm milk. It had always soothed her nerves when she was younger, but right now it wasn't doing a damn thing. She had a newspaper in front of her, the top story outlining an 'unprovoked terrorist attack on the New York Mutant Sanctuary'. Jean just shook her head. People would believe anything. As a telepath, she knew that fact better than anyone.
A knock at the door jarred her from dark thoughts. Before she really thought about it, she was on her feet, at the door. As she reached for the handle, she saw the security panel. The automated defenses were on. She couldn't sense anyone outside. As she stood there, another three knocks came slowly. She unlocked the door and opened it slowly, readying a telekinetic blast just in case. Jean gasped and nearly sent the woman flying.
"Jean... I. I hoped it wouldn't be you." Said the shaky voice of the last woman on the face of the planet that Jean wanted to see right now. Emma bloody Frost.
"What are you doing here?" Jean asked coldly. The woman obviously had expected to be invited in out of the cold night air, and while Jean was totally aware of manners, she chose to ignore them. Emma, the White Queen, didn't deserve them. She stood in her diamond form, which explained how she'd gotten past the mansion's defenses, and why Jean had been unable to sense her coming. By design, most likely. Jean stared daggers right into her shiny forehead.
"I... I need help." She said slowly, her eyes glittering with the beginnings of tears. Now that Jean really looked at her, she looked dirty and ragged. Something she would never have expected from this woman, who always seemed to be in pristine white, with a complexion to match. Jean watched as the woman's knees shook. Emma was staring at her hands now. Her diamond form dissolved.
"I can't stop it. The crying. I know you can't hear it." Said the ever frigid White Queen as she fell to her knees and totally lost any semblance of composure she had left. Jean was suddenly flooded with the emotions radiating from the woman. She staggered backward at the intensity of it, her hand shook as she brought it to her face. The grief this woman was in was almost unbearable. And Jean already had every shield up she could form. What Ms. Frost must be going through...
Jean pushed past all the hatred she had for this person. The one who had corrupted her when she was possessed by the Phoenix force, the one who had led her to betray everyone she loved. The one who now had collapsed in the doorway, begging for help.
"What happened to you, Emma?" Jean said, surprised at the concern in her voice.
Emma shook for a moment. "They." she said, her lip quivering. "Killed her." Another pause. Another wave of anguish. Then one of regret and self loathing. "And I... I killed them. Killed everyone!" Jean couldn't say anything. Just stood there, mouth open, gaping at what was in front of her.
"Killed... Whom?" Said Xavier from behind them. Jean jumped. She hadn't heard him roll up. Emma looked at him and her eyes seemed to flash in that way that Jean knew to be telepathy. Xavier's eyes opened wide.
"I... I see. You know that you will not have exactly a warm welcome from the other team members," Xavier began. Emma's eyes hit the carpet. Something she'd had to do as a child because of an abusive step father. She'd sworn to herself never to be so weak again. "But you may stay. Temporarily." Extra emphasis on the last word, which pleased Jean.
Emma's eyes slowly rose and locked with the professor's. "Thank you." she said, barely over a whisper. Still, Jean was trying to wrap her mind around the whole scene. Now the woman was going to be living in the mansion? In her house? Before she knew it, Jean had her arms folded across her chest, and was scowling like an old schoolteacher.
Raien's eyes opened to darkness. It was too dark. And he was confused. He had no idea where he was. Flat hard mattress. He moved his arm a little to the left and found the edge of the bed. Infirmary. Why am I in the Infirmary? he thought. Bits and pieces drifted to him. He remembered that he'd pushed himself hard. He'd gone way over what he knew was his limit. He remembered feeling something pop. Well, break may be a better word. Then he woke here.
His feet touched the floor and he had that feeling one gets when you've slept too long. His limbs were weak, his thoughts slow. He stumbled in the darkness to where he thought he remembered the door being. As it hissed open, he could see the light switch. He flicked it on with a trembling hand. He stared at it for a second as it continued to shake, finally holding and calming it with his other. He didn't have long to think about it. When he looked up there was a man standing right in front of him, holding one hand in exactly the way he was. The man looked familiar, and it took him a moment to figure out he was staring into a mirror. A mirror of himself without the glowing eyes. As much as the appearance shocked him, it was what he had wanted his whole life. He looked normal.
He was so lost in the specter on the other side of the glass that he didn't notice Chimera, who'd fallen asleep on the exam table nearest Raien's. He didn't notice the mixed look of immense relief and paradoxically, muted horror. He was unspeakably happy to see his lover, his best and only friend walking, but those eyes. He'd scolded himself constantly. The fear had been lurking in the back of his furry head for two days. The last he'd seen of Raien, he was losing consciousness, and his eyes had been as they were now. Normal. Raien was normal. Chimera wasn't. He felt like he was being left behind. That the allure of the outside world would rip away the only thing that made it worth living to him. The only thing that had kept him from giving into the sorrow of that camp, from becoming cattle like the rest of the mutants was Raien. Those loving glowing eyes that he may never see again.
He tried to get a hold on himself. Raien couldn't see him like this. Couldn't see his turmoil. His worry. He slowly put his feet on the floor. What he had wanted and feared for the past few days was finally here. As he neared Raien, the man turned.
"Chimera! I didn't see you. I... My eyes!" Raien exclaimed happily. His speech sounded a little slurred as though his tongue was too big for his mouth. It was a minute difference that few in the mansion would be able to detect. Something else hit him just then. What Raien just said. Not 'I missed you', not 'I love you'. He felt his heart sink and felt guilty at the same time. If Raien wanted to live a normal life, Chimera would let him. He would bottle his emotions up as he'd done for years. He was so close to crying, right here, breaking down and just letting everything go. He thought he now understood why Bobby had felt the need to-
"Chimera? Are you alright?" Raien asked, stepping into his arms. It took a moment for them to close around him. Raien could tell that something wasn't right, but what, he couldn't tell. Probably something from being imprisoned. He didn't pay it much heed. He was still shocked at his new appearance. He could go for a walk. He could go to a movie. Something he remembered dimly, having not gone much in his childhood and early high school. He could... And his hand shook again. He had to pull away from Chimera to calm it again. He couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. He'd have to ask Hank in the morning. He was happy to be back, to have Chimera here. The smell of him was wonderful again. Like coming home.
Chimera hadn't slept all night. Not that he really had gotten any sleep while Raien had been in his coma, but this was almost worse. He was waiting for the end. Raien was totally oblivious. Chimera mused that it was like the stereotype of the wife being angry at the husband for not knowing what she's thinking. He'd seen that one on television played out a hundred different ways. He knew that the best way to avoid it was to tell Raien what was on his mind. They'd always had a very open relationship. This was the first time that Chimera felt he couldn't tell something to his partner. So he lay there all night, Raien pressed to one side with his head on Chimera's chest. And let the tears slip silently down the sides of his face. In the morning Raien would realize he didn't need this place anymore. In the morning, Raien would realize he didn't need him anymore.
Hours passed and his stomach rumbled. When he moved to get up, Raien made sounds that were obviously "Go ahead, I'm gonna keep sleeping." Chimera ambled down the hallway feeling empty. More than empty. Hollow. As he went into the kitchen, he realized he wasn't so much hungry as just needing something to get him out of bed. He smelled fresh coffee brewing. Perfect.
There was a woman sitting there looking lost, bearing the same expression he felt. Beautiful blonde hair, and a more than revealing white outfit that seemed to clash with the sorrow evident on her flawless face. When she looked up at him, she didn't jump like most people did. She even smiled at him. Not a warm smile, but one that a person fakes when they can't muster a real one. He poured a large cup of the wonderful dark liquid.
"Is this seat taken?" He asked softly.
"No." She replied. Hollowly. Chimera sighed and took the seat across her.
"You're new here?" Chimera asked, trying to initiate small talk. He really didn't want to be alone now, and he sensed from the woman that she didn't want to be alone either.
At first, the woman hadn't really seemed talkative, but once she'd found he was willing to listen to her, she laid everything out on the table. She told him of how she'd been happy in France, with her daughter, for the first time in her life, she'd felt something for someone other than herself. She told Chimera about the capture of her daughter, and how they'd held her as insurance she did what they wanted. That her name was Emma. That they'd stolen her soul. That FoH had raped her daily. In the end, they ended up in one of the nearby Rec Rooms, Chimera cradling her on the couch as she spilled the rest of her tragic story.
Her tears came endlessly from eyes full of pain. She told him how she'd betrayed her kind. How she'd helped FoH capture mutants. Because they would have killed her daughter if she didn't. She'd been used for over a year in this way, which Chimera thought, was far far worse than he'd encountered in his own dealings with FoH. His agony was one day, losing his mother. Hers was spread out over a year. When she told him her daughter had been killed anyway, with Emma watching, helpless to do anything about it, Chimera cried with her.
Then she told him what had happened next. How she'd be so blinded by rage that when she came to her senses, everyone was dead. How she couldn't get the crying of her daughter to stop ringing in her ears. How empty and alone and impossibly hopeless she felt. Chimera just listened to her, telling her it would be okay in the end, that she was in a place where she could get help, and the people here would help her and not treat her like an outsider. She looked at him, wanting to believe his words, but she knew more than he did. She'd dealt with the X-Men several times. Thwarting them and being thwarted by them. She'd been surprised Jean hadn't killed her on the spot. The old Emma would have, in a heartbeat.
"There was one especially that I regretted, Chimera. He found me wandering in the sewer, merely playing bait for the remnants of a group they'd hunted for over a year. I must have appeared as a lost and helpless girl. He took me in. When FoH came for him, he fought for me. He stood in front of me to protect me from the very people I'd delivered him to. He would have won, too, but I... My daughter..." Even she was beginning to find her excuse lame. They'd killed her anyway. There was never going to be an end to what she was doing. She'd been stupid not to see it then.
Chimera was shaken by what she'd said. His heart went out to the mutant who she'd captured. Hopefully he was alright. "Emma, if he'd heard what you just told me, I think he would forgive you. They had your daughter. I know the pain of going through life without love. Especially when you know its going to end." He shook himself, and found her looking at him with such an expression of awe and gratitude that he had to change the subject.
Chimera really was hungry now anyway. He got up fixed them both some pancakes. Emma really did look a whole lot better now than she had before. She wasn't brooding. She'd finally had an outlet for her sorrow. Someone who wasn't already tainted by what she'd already done to each of the other X-men.
Emma reached tentatively into the lion-like man's mind and could feel his turmoil. She suddenly stood up so fast that the plate shattered on the tile floor of the kitchen. She stared at Chimera and felt the need to run. To wipe his mind so that he wouldn't remember the conversation they'd just had. So that he wouldn't remember her. But she knew that the professor was keeping an eye on her, she could feel him on the outskirts of her thoughts, just beyond what any normal telepath should be able to detect. She shook with fear and guilt. And Chimera's look of sympathy just made it worse. She'd just learned the name of his love. Raien.