Letting
Go and Finding Home - 3
He was sitting on the sofa staring
into the empty fireplace when she returned from clearing away the
remnants of their meal. Drawing closer she noticed her daughter
asleep in his arms and he was quietly humming to her.
"Why
don't you go lay her down, Ric?"
Her quiet voice startled
him from his memories and he quickly began to rub his hand along the
planes of Kristina's back coaxing her back into the sleep his
uneasiness disturbed. He returned his focus to the fireplace unable
to look up into Alexis' expectant eyes.
"Okay, I have to
go anyway. It's getting late and you both need a good night's sleep.
Besides I need to check in at the office and see if anything's come
up that I might need to look into."
The words were out of
his mouth before he could stop them. Words that only Alexis would be
able to see through. Checking to see if any activity had presented
itself while he was away that would help him best his brother was
more than a frame of mind now... it was a way of life. One that he
was sick of and without looking up he knew that Alexis was well aware
of what he meant with his veiled words. Her sigh of irritation hit
him in the pit of his stomach; her words only served to increase his
own self-loathing.
"Fine. Go ahead. I won't try to stop
you, Ric. If you're so intent on living your life solely dependent on
the actions of your brother, then you go right ahead. But, don't find
your way to my door again. I will not allow you to pull me back into
his world even as an afterthought."
With that she bent
down and took his niece from his arms. The loss of Kristina's tiny
body warming his own left him feeling a chill he had not felt since
his mother walked away from him so many years ago. It was not a loss
he was willing to endure again. Not if there was anything he could do
to prevent it.
"What if I were to tell you I need your
help... that you're the only one who can help me with this particular
problem that I'm faced with."
"I would have to say
you're on your own. I neither have the time nor the inclination to
help you in your campaign against Sonny Corinthos, DA Lansing. You've
goaded and pushed me as far as I'm going to allow and from now on
whatever goes on between us will be of a professional nature or not
at all. No exceptions."
He needed to find a way to make
her to listen to him... with an open mind. He needed her help and
something inside him knew that Alexis Davis was the only one who
could help him now.
"What if I were to give you a 'token'
so to speak?
Alexis looked at him with total exasperation. "A
token, Ric? What are you talking about?"
"Something
that proves I'm not here to get anything out of you, nor am I here to
hedge my bet, or further my agenda against my brother or anything of
a devious manner at all?"
"You have no idea just how
much of a 'token' it would have to be in order for me to even pretend
to listen at this point, Ric."
Watching Kristina grow
restless in her mother's arms, Ric stood and placed a calming hand on
her back.
"Go take care of her, Alexis. I would prefer
she not be in here with us when I... you know... do this. I just
don't want her near what I have to do... Please, Alexis. Just take
her and let her go back to sleep."
His words were getting
to her, but it was his eyes that spoke to her the most. Ric was
scared... of what she didn't know. But he was willing to do whatever
he needed to in order to gain her attention. And whatever it was...
he was insistent that her daughter be protected from what was about
to happen.
"All right, Ric. You've gotten my attention.
Give me a few minutes to settle her in her crib then I'll listen to
what you have to say."
Ric watched her walk from the room
and took a deep breath. His life was on the line and he was reaching
out to Alexis now to help him save himself. He only hoped he could
gain enough of her favor by telling the one truth he held, that she
would allow him the opportunity to ask for help in the matter that
had placed him on her doorstep that morning. Given the woman she was
and the history she came from... only Alexis held the power to help
him now. He turned toward her when her heard her re-enter the
room.
"All right, Ric. I've protected my daughter as you
requested by taking her outside the benefit of your presence. So tell
me. What is it that you have done that could harm my daughter and why
are you now trying to protect her from whatever it is that you want
from me?"
The thought that he could do anything to harm
the child he had just spent the day with set his blood to boiling.
Angry that he had messed his life up so bad that it was normal for
someone to think the worst of him first... without benefit of any
doubt. Considering the man that arrived in Port Charles... it was no
wonder that Alexis looked at him so derisively when she caught him in
any number of attempts to make himself appear to be more than he
actually was.
"I haven't done anything to harm Kristina,
Alexis. And I never will. I will protect that little girl with my
last dying breath if I have to. She will never suffer because of who
I am or who her father is if I have to kill us both to keep her
safe."
Alexis was stunned by the conviction in Ric's
voice. His whole body spoke the truth of his words. And she knew in
that moment that the man who stood in front of her was telling her in
no uncertain terms that he would protect his family... his blood...
her daughter. Ric knew who Kristina's father was.
"I
think we could both use a drink, Ric. Why don't I fix us one and then
maybe we can continue this discussion with a little less...
drama?"
"You're not fooling me, Alexis. What I just
said scared the hell out of you and you're now trying to gain an
escape so you can figure out your next move. I'm familiar with that
vice... use it myself quite a bit. But, there is no need for you to
be afraid of me. My inability to control my tongue probably just gave
away my secret and you're ready to either run or at the very lest
find a means to incapacitate me so you no longer have to worry about
whatever I may know about you."
"Alright since you
think you know me so well... I'm assuming this... this little secret
of yours is why you've been emotionally manipulating me for the past
few months?"
"I don't know what you mean."
Alexis
responded coldly... "Sure you do, Ric. It's a little late in the
day to start playing your little mind games, don't you think. Go
ahead. Spill. What is it that you think you know that could harm my
child?"
The conversation was not going as well as he
hoped it would and he knew it was because he was scared of her
reaction... of what she would do once he told her he knew that Sonny
was Kristina's father. It mattered to him now how the whole mess
played out... not just for his niece's sake, but for Alexis' as well.
Somehow during the back and forth of their relationship, if you could
call it that, Ric began to care about Alexis. Really care. So much so
that he was willing to take on the fight to protect them both
from the wrath of Sonny Corinthos. He suddenly found himself standing
in front of the empty fireplace once more unsure of how to proceed. A
thought occurred to him and it was out of his mouth before he could
stop it proving again to the woman who stood behind him that there
was more depth to Ric Lansing than she ever expected.
"Have
you ever noticed how lonely a fireplace looks without a fire?"
His
question while giving her new insight also told her that Ric was
unsure of himself... unsure of her. He was struggling to find a way
to open up and just tell what he knew in the gentlest way he could
but fear was still holding his tongue. Alexis was no longer willing
to prolong his anxiety. She wanted to give him a way out of the mess
he had created for himself. Somewhere deep inside she wanted to give
Ric the opportunity to be the man he seemed to want to be so much...
she wanted him to succeed... grow beyond the boundaries he was tied
so relentlessly to. She gave him the stepping-stone he needed to pull
himself out of his self-inflicted prison.
"No. I don't
think I've ever thought of a fireplace as lonely before, but why
don't you tell me how you know that Sonny is Kristina's father."
