DATE: April 7, 2001
Wrestling With Survivor Chapter 12 ------------------------------------------------
Your Host:
Mick Foley
The Remaning Suvivors:
The Rock Crash Holly Edge Chris Jericho Kurt Angle
"Hello Everyone and welcome back to survivor island for the very last time. Your gonna find out at the end of this chapter who wins Wrestling With Survivor will it be The Rock? How about Crash Holly or Edge? Then again it could be Chris Jericho or Kurt Angle. You'll only find out by reading this chapter or sneeking a peek at the bottom but dont do that. Thats not right you'll ruin the whole thing for yourself. Now without further adue lets head on to the beach for one... last... time." Foley said before he starts to break down and sob.
"Go away, go away I dont want you to see me like this." Foley said as he continues to sobs some more as we finally head to the beach.
"What the heck does Foley have planned for us today." Angle asked.
"Who the hell cares all I know is this is the last chapter so I can cut loose and insult whoever I want whenever I want and not get voted off." Jericho said witha grin.
"Dont be to sure about that Chris. The other people who were voted off the island could come back and vote for one of us to win. Just like the show." Angle pointed out.
"Na that aint gonna happen." The Rock said.
"Rock I have wanted to say something to you ever since we landed here on this island." Jericho stated.
"Whats that?" The Rock asked rather intrested.
"SHUT THE HELL UP! You are boring the hell out of everyone all you ever do is repeat yourself over and an over and over again you slack ass, monkey humping, ignoramus, ass kissing, cry baby, piss pot, retard!" Jericho yelled.
"Oh yeah? Well The Rock says... ummmm... The Rock says... errr...t hat is to say that The Rock would say... ahhhhhhhhh... ummmmmmm... errrrrrrr... hmmmmm... The Rock says... The Rock says... The Rock says... sniff sniff THE ROCK WANTS HIS MOMMY!" The Rock yelled at the top of his lungs. The Rock then runs into the woods as fast as he could crying for his mommy the whole way.
"Be-R-Utal" Edge said.
"Geez I dont even I cry." Crash said.
"And when I cry I dont cry for my mommy... well that is to say if I did cry but I dont so there." Angle said.
"Chris dude that so totally reeked of awesomeness, coolosity, and also kicked some major assage!" Edge proclaimed.
"Yeah it was about time someone shut him up." Angle said.
"Yes my job here is done." Jericho said with a smug smile.
"Your leaving awesomeness now im gonna win this thing for sure!" Edge said in excitement.
"No Im not leaving Genuis." Jericho said in full scarcasam mode.
"Genuis? Yeah I am pretty smart arnt I? Much smarter then thou." Edge says pointing to Crash.
"You may be smarter but I have a better looking cousin and I'm smarter too!" Crash said.
"Oh yeah, I guess I forgot." Edge said scratching his head.
"Edge I can you say that you are so much smarter then Crash, The Rock, and posibally Jericho." Angle said with a smile.
"Hes not smarter then I am!" Jericho yelled.
"I could be." Edge said now scratching his chin.
"Your not." Jericho said.
"I bet you a whole dollar he is!" Angle said.
"A WHOLE DOLLAR? Man thats to rich for my blood." Edge said backing off.
"To rich for your blood geez its only a dollar you cant buy anything for a dollar these days." Crash said.
"You see now thats where your wrong you can make a collect call with..." Angle started before getting cut off by Jericho.
"All right everybody just shut the hell up this isnt a 1-800-Collect commerical here its Wrestling With Survivor." Jericho said annoyed.
"Hey I was only trying to get some extra money with a promo deal or something." Angle said with a sigh.
"Try Pizza Hut." Jericho said with a grin.
"HEY! That was uncalled for and that was the best damn commerical ever." Angle boasted. Edge then starts to play when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie on his kazoo.
"DIDNT I JUST TELL YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP!" Jericho yelled.
"Sorry but I just wanted to play when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie." Edge said. Jericho then grabs Edges Kazoo and throws it in the small fire that was still going.
"Gee that wasnt very nice in fact that was down right mean!" Edge yelled.
"Dont worry pal I'll buy you a new Kazoo after I win this thing and we get back to cizilation." Angle said.
"What do you mean when you win? Im gonna win!" Edge shot back.
"Oh C'mon now Edge serioulsy you dont actually think anyone wants you to win?" Angle asked.
"Well Im more popular then you!" Edge pointed out.
"Well Im the WORLD CHAMP thats something that you will never get!" Angle yelled.
"Why you backstabing Drok Chop!" Edge yelled. Edge and Kurt Angle start to fight it out while Crash and Jericho sit back to watch.
"I bet you a buck that Edge will win." Jericho said.
"A whole buck? Thats way to rich for my blood." Crash said.
"What?" Jericho asked.
"Why did you know that you can make a collect call..." Crash started only to be cut off by Jericho.
"Crash... dont start this again your the only person left here that I actually like at the moment."Jericho said.
"You like me? Well Im sorry Chris, Im mean Im flattered and all but I dont walk that road. You see I prefer women." Crash said.
"You know what? Maybe Edge is just a little smarter then you afterall." Jericho said.
"Well gee golly gosh Chris that wasnt nice. Hmmm... hey I wonder if The Rock is still crying for his mommy." Crash wondered.
"You know it." Jericho said with a very smug smile. Jericho then looks down at his watch.
"Its time to go to the Challange area." Jericho pointed out.
"Should we tell those two?" Crash asked pointing to Kurt Angle and Edge.
"No way let 'em kill each other, easier for me to win then." Jericho said with a smile. Crash and Jericho get up and start to walk down the beach towards the challange area when Angle notices them.
"HEY! Edge we gotta stop fighting there trying to sneek a easy challange win!" Angle yelled.
"Those Barfoids! This so totally reeks of cheatosity!" Edge yelled.
"Lets catch up to them!" Angle said. Edge and Kurt Angle then run and catches up to Jericho and Crash.
"Damm." Jericho simply said with a sigh.
"Well your plan almost worked." Crash pointed out.
"Yes but almost isnt good enough Im gonna win this challange too. Lets not forget I did win the last two challanges, Im on a roll!" Angle pointed out patting his own back.
"That was pure luck." Jericho pointed out.
"Well then Mr. Jericho, Mr. Y2J just how many challanges have you won?" Angle said with a smug smile already knowing the answer.
"One after today and thats all that matters cause this will be the last one." Jericho said returning Angle smug smile with one of his own.
"I still dont know how the hell this could be the last challange when there are still four of us left." Edge said.
"Actually there are five of us left dont forget The Rock." Angle said.
"Gee I think The Rock will miss this one." Crash said.
"Works for me." Jericho said with a smile.
"I think it works for us all." Kurt said with a smile that mirrored Jerichos. In no time The survivors get to The challange area were Mick Foley is waiting behind his desk.
"Good Mick has his Clothes on time." Jericho said with a sigh of relief.
"You see Jericho your only half Right." Foley said with a smile.
"Whatchoo talkin' bout Foley?" Jericho said doing his best Gary Coleman impression.
"Well I figured the reason you were so discusted by me being naked last time was because I have a set of hairy fat man breasts." Foley said.
"That certainlly didnt help any." Angle agreed.
"Thats why I put on my Plaid shirt this time." Foley said with a smile. Foley then stands up to reveal that he still had nothing on down "there" where it counts.
"Ah Jesus!" Jericho yelled sheilding his eyes. All the survivors turn around so not to see Lil Mick.
"C'mon guys turn around." Foley said.
"No way Mick I dont want to eeeeeeeevvvvvvveeeeeeerrrrrrrrr see THAT again!" Jericho yelled.
"Well if you guys dont turn around your all going to be kicked off the island and nobody will win!" Foley scolded.
"DUDE! Thats Blackmail!" Edge yelled.
"For once Edge is right." Angle agreed.
"Alright then your all out and The Rock will win!" Foley threatened. Slowly everyone starts to turn around.
"Thats better, just where is The Rock anyways?" Foley asked.
"Ask Jericho." Crash said. Foley then walks right up to Chris Jerichos face.
"Aw Geez! Can you take a few steps back please?" Jericho said taking a step back himself.
"Why?" Foley asked.
"Your man boobs scare me... Why the hell do you think I want you to take a few steps back!" Jericho yelled.
"Oh right... sorry." Foley said, taking a few steps back.
"So Chris wheres The Rock?" Foley asked.
"He ran off into the woods crying for his mommy." Jericho said with a grin.
"And he did this because?" Foley said wanting Jericho to continue.
"He was just sad because I said he was boring everyone by only repeating him self over and over and over and over and over and over again." Jericho said.
"That all?" Foley asked.
"Well I kinda called him a slack ass, monkey humping, ignoramus, ass kissing, cry baby, piss pot, retard too." Jericho admitted.
"Oh... I see. You know I think they have to censor that. Too bad Im sure all the readers out there would of liked to hear it." Foley said.
"Oh well... So whats the challange?" Jericho asked.
"Well I need to get one of you out via Binki Contest." Foley said. Causing everyone to take a few steps back.
"But... I cant now since The Rock is gone... I guess that means that since The Rock isnt here he loses by automatic forfit and gets voted off the Island by DQ." Foley stated, causing everyone looks at each other overjoyed.
"You mean it The Rock is gone?" Angle said in jubulation.
"Yeah I guess so." Foley said rather sad about it.
"Alright now he cant bully me around anymore!" Crash said, pumping his hand in the air in triumph.
"WELL THE ROCK SAYS HE DOES NOT FORFIT!" The Rock yelled, everyone then quickly turns around only to see The Rock walking out of the woods.
"Rats." Angle said
"Hey Rock your eyes are pretty red there. You been crying?" Jericho said smugly.
"Whats the Challange Mick?" The Rock asked blantly ignoring Jericho.
"Well like I said a Biniki contest." Foley said.
"The Rock is not wearing a binki." The Rock said.
"Why the hell not you dressed in drag on Saturday Night Live." Jericho pointed out.
"That was different The Rock was getting paid for that!" The Rock said.
"So none of you guys want to go ahead with The Bikini contest?" Foley said.
"The Rock has already said no." The Rock stated again.
"Nope." Jericho said.
"No." Angle said mirroring the others.
"No Way Jose." Edge said with his arms crossed.
"And theres a no for me too." Crash said, agreeing with everyone else.
"Alright then I guess the final challange will have to squeeze one more person in it." Foley said.
"And that final challange is what?" The Rock asked.
"A super, hardcore, fatal five way death match!" Foley said grinning ear to ear. Everyone then looks at Foley in shock.
"...what?" Foley said, looking down. "Ummm, ok guys be right back I gotta use the bushes real quick." Foley said running into the bushes and comes out again after a minute refreshing himself.
"Mick did you just say super, hardcore, fatal five way, death match?" The Rock asked.
"Thats right the match will only end when two people are left the way to eleminate them is to get the the count The last two left will go to tribal council tonight and the last 7 people voted off... including the people who loose this match will vote for the winner of Wrestling With Survivor. Now I called senior WWF referee Earl Hebner to come in and do this but when he got on the Island and saw me he jumped back in the chopper and was gone again so I will be the ref... now everyone turn around while I put on my ref shirt." Foley said, everyone then gladly turns around while Mick puts on the referee shirt.
"Ok you can all turn around now." Foley stated
"Do we have to?" Edge said with a sigh.
"Yes." Foley said. Everybody slowly turns around again very slowly, making sure to keep there eyes to the ground.
"Ok now everyone look up." Foley said, everybody slowly looks up and sees a ring complete with a hell in a cell and a ton of weapons being lowered to the ground by one big ass helecopter.
"Ok everyone in the ring." Foley said. Once again nobody moves.
"Right now!" Foley demanded.
"Mick The Rocks gotta be honest with you here, this is nuts!" The Rock stated.
"Hes right Mick this is nuts!" Angle said agreeing with The Rock for the first and perhaps also the last time ever.
"Get in the ring now or you will all lose!" Foley threatened. No sooner had he said it then did Crash jump in the ring.
"Hey Im hardcore I can do this!" Crash stated thumping his cheast.
"Alright everyone else get in." Foley said
"But-" Jericho tried to argue one more time only to be cut off by Foley.
"Now!" Foley yelled.
"But-" The Rock said trying to say what Jericho tried to say only to end with the same results of being cut off by Foley as well.
"Now!" Foley yelled again.
"But Mick-" Angle started only to be cut off by Foley like Jericho and The Rock this time though Foley grabs his gavel and slams it on his desk three times.
" NOW! ... Ouch darnit that last slam with the gavel wasbnt on the desk." Foley said then grabs his wee-wee and runs around for an half-hour yelling and screaming about the pain and seeing a bright light, before he finally stops.
"Mick are you ok?" The Rock asked.
"What do you think!" Foley yelled.
"The Rock thinks that must of hurt." The Rock said.
"IT DID NOW GET THE HELL IN THE RING!" Foley yelled. Still though nobody moves.
"Listen if I can go through the pain that I just went through and am still going through then for sure as hell you can take a little punisment!" Foley yelled.
"But Mick what you just did was an accident this would not be an accident if we got hurt in there." Angle said.
"Alright fine then dont go in there." Foley said. Foley then grabs his gavel again.
"Everyone step up to my desk, NOW!" Foley yelled. Everyone then jumps in the ring without another word, knowing what Foley was planning to do to them had they not gotten into the ring.
"Thats what I thaught." Foley said with a grin. Foley then gets in the ring locks the door to the hell in a cell and starts his ref job.
"Ok, Fight!" Foley demanded. Everybody starts to fight except for The Rock who grabs a baseball bat and cracks it off against Crashs head.
"1... 2... 3... Crash is out!" Foley yelled, he then drags Crashs still unmoving body out of the ring and on the cell floor.
"Hey Edgeward check this out!" Jericho yelled. Edge then turns around to see what Jericho wanted only to get knocked out via computer keyboard to head. Jericho then quickly pinned him.
"1... 2... 3... Edge is out!" Foley yelled then Draged Edge out to where Crash is.
"Were down to our final three, The Rock, Chris Jericho, and Kurt... Where the hell is Kurt Angle!" Foley yelled.
"Up here Mick." Angle said, Mick, Jericho, and The Rock then all look up and see that Angle is grabbing hold of the top of the cell like Spider-Man clinging on a celing.
"Kurt how the hell did you get up there? Actually who cares just get down here!" Foley yelled. Foley and The Rock then start to poke at Angle with a broom stick and a mop respectivly trying to hit Kurt down.
"OUCH! HEY DONT PUT THAT MOP UP THERE!" Angle yelled, still clinging onto the hell in a cells celing for dear life, while Foley and The Rock are distracted Jericho finds a copy of Mick Foleys "Have a Nice Day" which was there for some reason and smacks it against The Rocks head and then puts him in The Walls Of Jericho and while thats being done Kurt Angle gets down the the cells celing and starts to kick The Rocks head until The Rock gets K-Oed.
"Alright already guys hes out you two win your going to Tribal Council tonight to decide the winner." Foley said. Jericho lets go of the Walls of Jericho on the Rock.
"Sweet Im gonna win this for sure tonight!" Jericho said already assuming his victory.
"No Way I always rise to the occasion so I will win." Angle said, pointing out his annoying ability to always win.
"You wish." Jericho said.
"I dont have to wish. My olympic gold medal says I can beat anyone at anything!" Angle said with a grin.
"Alright you two go back to the beach and I'll see you two at tribal council tonight." Foley said. Jericho and Angle both go to the beach and then later that night to Tribal council for the very last time.
"Alright you two take your seats while everyone else comes in." Foley said, Jericho and Angle then both take a seat.
"Ok now just to refresh your memorys here are the seven people who will decide which one of you will win Wrestling With Survivor are, The Rock, Edge, Crash Holly, Chris Benoit, Booker T, Vampiro, and finally Mickey Whipwreck." Foley stated as Edge, Crash, who who both have bandages around there heads, Benoit, Booker T, Vampiro, and Mikey all come in and sit down.
"Ummmm... wheres The Rock?" Foley asked.
"They had to rush him to the hospital." Crash said.
"Oh ok then, will you six go ahead and vote for who you think should win wrestling with Survivor." Foley said. The six former survivors then all go and vote for who they think should win.
"Ok now to see who wins Wrestling with Survivor giving them the name of Ultimate Survivor and a special prize." Foley said.
"I wonder what my prize will be." Jericho said with a smug smile.
"You mean my prize!" Angle shot at Jericho.
"Would you two shut up already! Ok lets do this, the 1st vote... Jericho. 2nd... Angle. 3rd... Angle. 4th... Jericho. 5th... Jericho. 6th... Angle... We got a tie!" Foley said.
"NO WAY!" Jericho yelled jumping to his feet.
"IM NOT SHARING MY PRIZE WITH HIM!" Angle yelled, jumping to his feet as well.
"Crap if I knew The Rock would be rushed to the hospital I would of got Lance Storm to come here. Will theres only one way to decide who does win." Foley said.
"Im almost afraid to ask, but what is it?" Jericho asked with a sigh.
"The Binki contest!" Foley said pointing his finger to the air above his head. Jericho and Angle then exchange glaces then sadly they give up and agree.
"Ok one thing though... since theres more on the line this time around this will be..." Foley stopped in mid sentence, a little glimmer grows in the naked Foleys eyes.
"A THONG BIKINI CONTEST!" Foley yelled finishing his sentence.
"ALRIGHT FORGET IT I RATEHR HE WON IT THEN!" Jericho and Angle both said at the exact same time.
" Wait a second. What did you say?" Jericho asked Angle.
"No what did YOU say?" Angle asked back.
"I heard what you both said and there is only one way to decide it you two will have to split the prize!" Foley stated.
"Oh alright." Angle said with a sigh.
"Yeah it is better then being in a thong bikini contest." Jericho said shuddering at the thought.
"Ok you two are now both givin the name of the ultimate survivor. Now for that special prize. Well it was going to be to choose to host or be a contestant of Wrestling with Survivor 2 The Austrilian Outback but we can give both now so who gets wha-" Foley started but before he could finish is interupted by Jericho.
"I CALL HOST!" Jericho yelled, not wanting to suffer through being surrounded by a bunch of idiots again.
"No I want to be host!" Angle yelled.
"Sorry Kurt Jericho beat you to it. So now we all know that the host of Wrestling with Survivor 2 the Austrilian Out back will be Chris Jericho and the first contestant will be Kurt Angle." Foley said with a smile.
"Yes this rules!" Jericho said raising his hands in the air in sweet, sweet victory.
"No, this sucks!" Angle said pouting.
"Yeah, yeah shut up the chopper is leaving now so if you two dont get on it with everyone else your gonna be stuck on this island for good." Foley pointed out. Everyone there then piles onto the helecopter.
"Mick are you coming?" Jericho asked.
"Yeah just give me a chance I gotta end this. Ok this is what Jericho, Angle, Crash, Edge and The Rock had to say about the outcome of Wrestling With Survivor." Foley said with a smile.
"I Rule I said I would win all along and I did now I get to host Wrestling with Survivor 2 which will rock! Now I would like to thank all the little people out there who made my winning this possible you know who you are. Its those little Umpa Lumpas, and munchkins from the Wizard of Oz." Jericho said being a smart ass again.
"I won and I knew I would win all along. I always win. Im simply the best there is at anything and everything. So what will I do next? Well first I will defend my WWF title a little more and then I will win Wrestling With Survivor 2. Now I would also like to thank all the little people, Bah on second thaught screw it I would of won with or without anyone" Angle said continuing to pat himself on the back.
"Angle AND Jericho won? This sucks and my head still hurts. Whos idea was it to put a computer keyboard there anyways?" Edge asked.
"This sucks I wanted to win." Crash said simply.
"Umm, ok people Im sorry about this but The Rock seems to be in a coma for some reason so we cant get any words from him. So I'll talk for him. Just pretend Im The Rock here. Er'hem... The Rock would like to thank everyone for the chance to be here and congrats to Chris Jericho and even that candy ass Kurt Angle. Ok so maybe thats not would The Rock would say but I cant help it. Anyways this is it from Survivor Island and now I have gotta get on the chopper now so for the last time. Im Mick Foley. Have a nice day.
THE END
Ok everyone If I can be serious for a moment... I would like you all to rise for the playing of the Canadian national anthem... Na, ok I will be serious for once in my life here. I would like to thank everyone out there for there supported this thing. It was without a doubt one of the most popular things that I had ever written. Which is why I felt it should of been re-posted. Now as for Wrestling With Survivor 2. Dont look for it anytime soon, or at all for that matter. Oh I DID write it but like many other things I had written it was deleted, and really I dont think it came anywhere near touching this one. So Im not going to bother to re-vamp and re-post that one. The Re-vamping is to big a pain in the ass and could time spent writing something new. HOWEVER, there will be at least one more re-vamp from my old fics which will be Wrestling With The Wizard of Oz. Its a personal favorite that I wrote, this time around though I'll have it broken up into chapters so it wont be all there for one sitting. Anyways thats it for now, Thanks again to everyone out there who read this thing, the first time it was posted back four years ago and those who read it this time around. So until my next fic review and tell me what you thought.
LaTerZ -T Bond