Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.
A/N: I started out wanting to keep this fic mostly in canon with the actual books, but as I thought out the plot (ha!), I realized that focusing on Draco and Ginny while trying to keep most of the lines spoken by their fellow students, especially by the Troublesome Three, would be rather difficult. Therefore, you may recognize a line here and there, but it may appear to be in a completely different context. Several major and not-so-major events have been altered, possibly, so don't mind that either. The Triwizard Tournament will be mentioned occasionally, but certainly not to the extent that J.K. Rowling describes it.
In My Opinion
Chapter 2: Return to Hogwarts!
It was raining. Ugh. Ginny loathed the rain. In this respect, she was similar to a cat. Hmm...What other cat-like characteristics did this little vixen (A/N: I am aware that a vixen is more closely related to a dog) possess? Well, she did make Ron pay for reading her diaries (yes, she had more than one by now). It was rather astonishing that she had decided to continue keeping a diary even after the Chamber of Secrets incident, but once she had gotten over the lack of a thoughtful response from her (still magical) diaries, she was able to vent her day-to-day frustration using her beloved pen and paper.
She retained multiple diaries as a precaution against raids on her bedroom by her many brothers. By now, she had fully analyzed the personality of each brother, and she was able to determine which "hiding place" each one would suspect and target. Therefore, she composed a special diary for each hiding place, the contents of which would be most easily understood by and most shock that particular brother.
It may have been a completely unnecessary and pointless undertaking, but being the only girl of her age in St. Ottery Catchpole did not provide much amusement for her summer. So far, the only brother who hadn't "found" her diary was Percy, but he was a stuck-up twit who would never stoop to hunting down her diary. Also, a certain former Ravenclaw prefect held all of his attention. Yes, he was indeed still dating that obnoxious Penelope Clearwater. Over the past two years, the Weasleys had been forced to listen to his insufferable prattling about her virtues and wonderful attributes. Merlin, she hoped that she would never develop into that sort of infatuated moron. That would be terrible for Ron to suffer. On second thought...
"What's he been up to now?" Bill was asking about something or other. Ginny snapped back to the present world and asked, "Who? What? Who's been up to what?"
"Mad-Eye Moody and we were just about to find out." George rolled his eyes at Ginny's confused look exasperatedly. "Honestly, Ginny, sometimes you have the attention span of a gnat. Hold on, change that to 'you definitely have the attention span of a gnat.'" Ignoring Ginny's indignant huff, he continued, "Isn't he that nutter--"
"Your father thinks very highly of Mad-Eye Moody," sniffed Mrs. Weasley.
"Yeah, well, Dad collects plugs, doesn't he?" The twins had corrected Mr. Weasley's incorrect name for the blasted rubber-and-metal Muggle items before the excursion to the Dursleys' to kidnap, no, pick up Harry.
Her other family members continued to discuss the eccentric Mad-Eye Moody while Ginny yet again drifted into her own world...
Before she realized it, she was on board the Hogwarts Express and waiting to depart from platform nine and three-quarters. She sat two compartments away from the Famous Four--Crookshanks really should be included--because she really didn't want her thoughts to be interrupted by the usual "Hello? Earth to Ginny?"
Of course, leave it to the Big, Bad Draco Malfoy to stir up Ron's temper so that she was still able to hear their argument. You'd think he'd learned to be prudent enough to ignore Malfoy's jabs. Oh wait, no, you wouldn't. Listening more closely to the contents of their discussion, Ginny discerned a few unusual facts.
First off, Lucius Malfoy had wanted to send Draco to Durmstrang? Drat, that would have been good riddance to bad rubbish. Tough luck.
Second, did Narcissa Malfoy actually love her son that much that she wanted to keep him near? Or maybe she wanted him to stay close to home so that he didn't get carried off with the notion of marrying a girl from far away? Ginny snorted. Imagine, Malfoy being so infatuated (that was her new favorite word) that he was determined to elope with a random girl at Durmstrang of all places.
Third, and most importantly, Hogwarts was going to be hosting some kind of competition, with a considerable and presumably monetary reward. Ginny knew that it was too much to ask that the requisites would allow her to enter. However, she hoped that someone from Gryffindor would be able to win. That would certainly show the Slytherins some what-what. Shaking off that unexpected use of an American phrase, Ginny resumed her pondering, only to be interrupted yet again by the rapidly approaching laughter of what seemed to be Malfoy and his cronies.
"So anyways, there I was, displaying my fantastic talents with a broom--," Ginny snickered at how wrong that sounded, "And even Ludo Bagman was induced to praise me, just as everyone else does. I mean, honestly, who could deny the ability of one as gifted as myself? After all, I am the richest, cleverest, handsomest," Ginny yawned, already bored. The door to the compartment slid open as the three Slytherins entered. Or rather, the Slytherin Prince entered, followed by his two subservient minions. Malfoy continued to chatter, boasting of his "wonderfulness" to Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. They sat down across from Ginny, (unknowingly or purposefully?) oblivious to her presence.
Ginny was in no way offended, having expected this behavior, and she was rather entertained by the predominantly one-sided banter taking place in front of her. As she listened more carefully to the "conversation," or more accurately, "soliloquy," she noticed a trend. Whenever Malfoy faltered in his speech, either stumbling over his words or failing to recall yet another "stunning characteristic" of his, he would send one of his cronies to purchase some victuals from the snack trolley. Inevitably, there came a time when he was left alone, having stuttered and consequently been forced to send Crabbe for some Pumpkin Pasties while Goyle was still drooling over the never-ending mound of Chocolate Frogs.
To Ginny's amusement, Malfoy began muttering to himself: "Well, really, it was nothing at all. It's not like I'm not fluent in Japanese and Mandarin Chinese in addition to French, Italian, Spanish, German, and Russian. After all, the Malfoy business is an international enterprise, requiring contacts in many different nations. Such dealings are only facilitated by a personal knowledge of the language, thus preventing the cost of interpreters, despite how negligible said cost would be, and also any secret communication between the men on the other side of the business table. Yes indeed, if one must get a job done, it is better to do it oneself, and information and knowledge is a surefire path to success..."
As his train of thought dwindled off, Ginny saw the young Malfoy undergoing what seemed to be an internal struggle. At a loss for what next to say, he looked to be pondering sending himself to the snack trolley. Ginny had yet to see a person command himself in such a manner. At length, Malfoy finally looked around the compartment and seemed almost surprised to see that he was sharing a compartment with Ginny Weasley, of all people.
Sputtering, Malfoy grasped for insults, finally coming up with, "Well, well, well, look who it is. The Weaslette, all forlorn and defenseless. Egads! I'm breathing the same air as you are! I do hope cooties aren't borne by the air, for then I'd have to thoroughly scrub myself to get rid of their taint." It was priceless, the look of surprise that adorned his face in response to Ginny's snort of laughter.
"Oh Malfoy, how the mighty have fallen. Goodness, did I just say 'mighty'? Were you ever? Or maybe it's only on account of my being your target, 'cause your eloquence seems perfectly functional around people like my brothers, and Harry, and Hermione."
If the previous look had been priceless, then Malfoy's current look of shock, accompanied by an adequate gasp, belonged on a pedestal. Crabbe and Goyle returned, laden with their spoils, to watch what appeared to be a staredown between the ferret and the weasel, with the latter clearly holding the upper hand.
"What, Malfoy, surprised I grew a backbone? Oh wait, I always had one! You, on the other hand, seem to have left your reference book, Insulting Helpless Innocents for Dummies, at home. You should try a packing list next time; they're supposed to help."
Malfoy muttered something.
"Say what? Dear Draco, didn't Mummy ever tell you to 'say it loud and say it proud'?"
"I said, the book's actually called The Idiot's Guide to Properly Offending Others." And with a pout belying his inherent Malfoyishness (and causing Ginny's insides to flip-flop in a not-altogether-unpleasant manner, it might be noted), he continued, "Besides, my mummy never speaks in such a crude fashion, except when using her favorite saying: 'If you can't say something mean, then there's something seriously wrong with you.' It's her way of mocking that dreadful line from that absolutely foolish woodland creature in that Mudblood animated feature...what was it again...?"
Despite the line being twisted almost beyond recognition, Ginny correctly identified it...with sparkles in her eyes, as she recalled the adorable Thumper from Walt Disney's Bambi: "If you can't say somethin' nice, then don't say nothin' at all." For Malfoy's benefit, she even cast her eyes shyly towards the ground, twisting her foot around and wringing her hands behind her back.
Unfortunately, the Golden Trio chose to walk into the compartment at this point, and having been talking too loudly (have they no shame?) to hear any of Ginny's and Draco's exchange, they naturally jumped to conclusions (it wasn't very far) and assumed the worst. Ron tackled Draco, pinning him to the seat and accusing him of threatening his sister and also of every other wrong under the sun that Ron had suffered during his four years at Hogwarts.
By pure fluke, Blaise Zabini, resident "art" expert at Hogwarts, entered upon the scene, looking for Malfoy. With a raised eyebrow, Blaise coolly regarded the compromising position in which Ron had placed himself and Malfoy.
"Hmm, that's funny. I'm generally accurate about such things, but I would never have placed you, Draco, as an 'uke.'"
The other males in the room looked at each other bemusedly as Ginny and Hermione burst into giggles. Having reached a tacit agreement with Hermione on their own sentiments concerning the issue, Ginny readjusted nonexistent pince-nez spectacles on the delicate bridge of her nose before responding.
"I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with you, Mr. Zabini. After conducting an extensive observation of Mr. Malfoy over the past few hours, I have reached the conclusion that his need to assert authority arises from a plaguing sense of insecurity caused by a minor inferiority complex. Due to this mental state, it would only be natural for him to be unable to adequately assume the dominant position in the act of consummating a relationship."
As the meaning of her words hit, there were quite a few gagging sounds made around the compartment. Being the quickest of mind, Harry shut his eyes, refusing to accept the mental image, while Malfoy struggled to escape from Ron's iron grip. Said grip quickly loosened as soon as its owner was keeled over by a wave of understanding. Crabbe and Goyle remained oblivious; the vocabulary was too sophisticated, and no one wanted to risk the potential consequences of explaining their boss's ahem preferences to the two hulking pseudo-trolls.
"Attention, all passengers. The train will be arriving shortly at its destination. Please change into your school robes and be ready to exit the train within the next half an hour."
Following this announcement over the train's PA system, students rushed to and fro to quickly grab the required school robes from the compartments inhabited by their respective trunks. Before everyone left to follow the example set by his fellow schoolmates, Ginny announced her plans for the year--setting up a psychologist's booth in Hogsmeade. There were mixed results.
"WHAT! Ginny, you'll have to deal with every Bob Joe and Mary Sue who just happens to be walking through town. And what if people like Mal--," Suddenly, Ron realized that said ferret was still in the vicinity and (surprise, surprise) lowered his voice accordingly. "What if prats like Malfoy start harassing you? Or you may even have dirty perverts like that Flint bastard--"
"Ron, please! This shouldn't be news to you; you were definitely present in the kitchen when I announced my plans to Mum and Daddy. Oh wait, that doesn't mean anything. Besides, you should know me well enough by now (after all, I am your only sister) to acknowledge my ability in protecting myself. I've begun researching how to set up wards so that the booth will only grant entrance to current Hogwarts students and staff members and possibly a select few that I will be able to specify. In fact, I was discussing the matter with Hermione the other day..."
"Herm, you can't honestly be allowing Ginny to do this. I mean, I'm not as dubious about the idea as Ron, but I'm not exactly overflowing with eager support for such a business venture."
"Well, I think that one should always attempt to learn more about one's fellow man. And if one should make a few Sickles in the process, then that's just jolly good, innit? Besides, I've helped her from the beginning. My mum was originally a double major in college--pre-med and psychology--so she had a few texts left over. It's wonderful that Ginny has already begun to dabble in her interests, unlike you, Harry, or you, Ron--," Hermione jabbed her finger into the chest of each boy as she named him while also ignoring their sputtered protests of "But--but--Quidditch--and--...--Quidditch?" and the Gryffindor genius continued, "--who just take things as they come and try to deal with problems that magically (no pun intended) arise. Could you honestly say that you would have tried to find something to do if there had been no Chamber of Secrets or Phil--," With a gasp of realization that she had revealed more than necessary, Hermione suddenly clammed up, not uttering another word.
Having raised one slender eyebrow at the "Mudblood's" words, Malfoy mused, "I, for one, think that it will be interesting to see what comes up. In fact, I may even deign to honor you with my presence, O lowly Weaslette. Hmm, that's a clever nickname. I do believe I'll store that away for future use. Ta-ta, it was an absolute UN-pleasure speaking with you. Hope to NOT see you around." Performing a flawless about-face, Malfoy whisked himself out of the compartment to his waiting robes.
It took them a while (about another five minutes), but Crabbe and Goyle were finally able to stop pondering the meaning of Zabini's previous statement, and they left as well. Years later, a candle would finally ignite above Crabbe's head as he realized that Zabini had been implying that Malfoy was homosexual...And his hair would promptly burst into flames, as the candle would only be literal. The mental processes of beings as handicapped in the thinking arena as Crabbe are not even worthy of being represented by a candle.
About to follow on the heels of his housemates, Zabini hesitated and spoke, "Ms. Weasley, I think that such an undertaking is a wise investment. Our beloved school is lacking in several things, one of which is professional, or at the very least, practised, counseling. Indeed, I would be willing to provide you with financial backing, should you require it. Could we meet to discuss the finer points of such a partnership in more...privacy...later?" This suggestion was met by the slight inclination of Ginny's head, and Zabini swept through the door.
"Ginny, what are you THINKING? Or ARE you thinking? Zabini could just want to mock you, or maul you, or mol-mol-MOLEST you! You're bloody insane, I swear." Ron shook his head sadly and continued, "Young people these days. When I was your age," Hermione interrupted his reminiscing by trying to knock some sense into his head with the heel of her palm.
"Could you just let your sister trust her own judgment for once? Lord, I mean, Merlin knows that she's much smarter than you are, or could ever hope to be..."
Everyone silently counted, One...Two...Three...
"Oi, I resent that!" The members of his audience rolled their eyes while scattering to change into their robes before the train arrived at its destination.
Ten minutes later, the students disembarked from the Hogwarts Express and quickly dispersed to either find a horseless carriage or follow the rather large adult who was shouting, "Firs'-years! Firs'-years! Righ' this way, foller me, please!"
"Hey Hagrid! How's it goin'?"
Hagrid waved back at Harry and co., a huge grin materializing on his face. Malfoy groaned in disgust.
"How can someone possibly be happy if they're dirt poor, live in a house five times too small for comfort, and are butt ugly on top of all that? Oh wait, look at the Weasleys." An unbecoming sneer adorned the pale, pointed face of the speaker.
Ginny sighed sadly, "Malfoy, if you want to insult people, then at least employ proper grammar in doing so. Since 'someone' is the subject of your sentence, then the secondary clause should maintain the parallelism in number and use the subject 'he,' not 'they.' Honestly, some people are just so lacking in the mental department, in spite of all their material wealth."
Tossing her flaming hair, she strutted away--well, as much of a strut as she could manage while lugging her massive trunk behind her. The gaping faces of the fourth-years--Gryffindors and Slytherins included--only added to the flounce in her step.
"Well, that was certainly unexpected...And I can't believe someone was faster than I was in correcting a fellow human being!"
With that, Hermione followed her friend to the nearest horseless carriage, followed shortly by Harry and Ron.
"Did she just--Was I just--What just--Huh?"
"It's okay, Draco. According to Miss Weasley's explanation, it's understandable that you might have some difficulties verbalizing if you are that lacking. Perfectly comprehensible."
Blaise patted his friend on the shoulder as he said this and turned to Nicholas Staggleby, who had just walked up to the crowd.
"Hey Nicholas, could you go put these trunks in a carriage? I need to assist our dear Draco in walking..."
"Stop that, Blaise! I learned how to walk ages ago. Oh wait, that's not what I meant--" Draco sputtered as everyone around him burst into raucous laughter.
Shaking their heads sadly at the Slytherin prince whose reputation was quickly failing, the Slytherin fourth-years climbed into their respective carriages and headed off to Hogwarts with the rest of the students.
This was going to be an interesting year.
--Fin du Chapitre 2--
A/N: Feel free to mention anything that may sound familiar. Virtual dumplings to those who correctly identify any of my references! And that goes for all of my chapters.