Chapter 17

Lying across her bed vainly trying to pull herself together, Alexis couldn't stop the constant replay of her meeting with Sonny in her mind as the weight of what she forced on him became steadily heavier. She knew she needed to get control of herself. It was done, no turning back... and no way to undo it now. Reaching up she wiped the tear tracks from her cheeks and rolled over to stare at the ceiling. She needed air and time to settle her nerves before she went to pick up Kristina. Her daughter did not need to see a neurotic basket case and she was also worried that if Ric saw her in her current state, he would jump to the conclusion that her feelings for Sonny were of a more personal nature than they actually were. How could she explain to Ric that as much as she once thought of Sonny, she was now that aggrieved by the idea of any type of relationship with him? In fact she was more afraid of him now than ever before.

In all of the scenarios she played out in her mind of how the confrontation could play out, it never entered her mind that Sonny would actually threaten her life. As much as she wanted to believe that his threat was made in the heat of the moment, his piercing eyes and the hate that emanated from him in that moment now haunted her. She needed to get herself together and she needed to do it fast because the longer she lay there the more she found herself needing to see Ric. She couldn't go to Ric until she was free of Sonny. Swinging her legs around she pulled open the drawer of her nightstand, rummaged around for a moment then stood abruptly and quickly made her way to the door. With her thoughts so chaotic and disturbed it never registered that she didn't take a coat, her keys or even lock the door behind her.

Placing the receiver back onto its base, Ric frowned. 'Alexis should have called by now.' He thought to himself. 'Her meeting with Sonny shouldn't have lasted any longer than an hour.' He looked down at his watch for the third time in the last half hour mumbling, "It's going on three now." He picked up the receiver again and dialed her cell phone. After a few moments he swore as he slammed the phone down his concern growing by the minute. "Where are you, Alexis? And what the hell is wrong?"

Rushing to the closet he tore his jacket down from the hanger and raced out of the apartment enormously thankful that Viola hadn't forgotten Kristina's regularly scheduled gym class. He didn't know what he would have done if Kristina were still in his care. He needed to find Alexis, and he needed to find her fast. Something didn't feel right. Something in his gut was telling him that Alexis was in trouble. Three cell calls later and a harrowing ride from his apartment to hers found him standing anxiously at her door. He knocked once. Twice. Three times. His palm finding the coolness of the door as the weight of his worry forced his head to rest against the wood grain.

"Alexis?" He shouted through the door. Not getting an answer or hearing any movement he tested the knob to see if it was locked. Finding it open he cautiously stepped inside and looked around. Eyeing the empty mantle and the several broken objects on the floor with a litter of files among them he grew more concerned. "Just great, big brother. Just great. Didn't even stop to consider that a small child lives here, did you?" Looking around further, his eyes spotted a torn picture on the floor. Reaching down he picked it up and the image of a smiling Alexis looked up at him. He remembered this picture. It was one of his favorites. But the half holding Kristina's image was now torn away. Looking around he searched in vain for the other half somehow knowing he wouldn't find it. His only question... which one of them tore the picture in half? Studying it more closely he could tell by the careful attempt to keep all of Kristina's body in tact that it was probably Alexis who tore the picture. His concern morphed into fear as he placed the torn picture in his pocket. He began to search the apartment hoping he might find Alexis but as with the picture, he knew she wasn't there. The silence of the place was deafening. "What the hell happened here?" he shouted to the emptiness in alarmed frustration. A quick call to the police station confirmed that his brother was in custody so wherever Alexis was, she was alone. A deafening clap of thunder shook the windows and looking toward the balcony, Ric made his way quickly outside to check the sky. Seeing the black angry clouds approaching from the direction of the docks he knew he didn't have much time before the storm reached Port Charles. He hurried back to the front door intending to search for Alexis, but just as he reached for the handle his eyes fell on her desk... "She left without her purse which is probably why she didn't answer her cell phone. And her keys are still here. Damn it Alexis, where the hell are you?" Ric was even more worried now, more worried than he could remember being in a long time. Alexis was out there somewhere and there was a massive storm fast approaching. 'She can't be far,' he thought 'she didn't take her car.' Pulling his cell back out of his pocket he tapped off a newly memorized number and waited, anxiously raking his hand through his hair.

"Viola, it's Ric. You need to cut short Kristina's gym time today. There's a storm coming and I can't find Alexis. Take her home with you and we'll pick her up just as soon as I locate Alexis. Call and leave a message on her voicemail and let her know Kristina is safe with you in case she gets back to the apartment before I do. Don't wait, Viola. Please get Kristina out of there now. I don't want you two out in this weather. We'll call just as soon as we can. And thanks, Viola."

Flipping his phone shut, he pulled her umbrella out of its stand by the door and dashed out of the apartment slamming the door behind him. Moments later, standing outside the entrance to her building he looked up one side of the street then down the other. No sign of her. "Maybe she needed coffee, maybe she went to Kelly's" he mumbled to himself. Ric began running, his adrenaline causing his heart to race in time with his feet and the fear that continued to rise within him. 'Hang on, Alexis. Please, just be safe until I find you.' He prayed.

She didn't feel the chill in the air... she didn't hear the fast approaching storm. Alexis was reliving her past with Sonny. She wanted to remember every moment, pull from it what she could then leave it in the past where it belonged. She couldn't deny that during their time together she did begin to feel something more for him than friendship. His life, the way he dealt with the complexities of it had both excited and enticed her. But when you took his charm and boyish ways out of the picture, he was just a man who let the circumstances of his past dictate his future to make him nothing more than a user. He was a little boy lost in the body of a man, screaming to be freed from a closet he imprisoned himself in. It was a life he chose to embrace because Sonny wasn't willing to leave his past where it belonged and it made him a hard bitter man. Standing there on the docks unaware of her shivering body, Alexis finally admitted to herself that as much as she wanted to believe that Sonny could be better; that if he had just stayed with her that night so long ago... He could have pulled himself free from the demons that haunted him. But, after facing him this afternoon, after hearing his threat against her, Alexis was finally ready to let go of a man that had once filled her life. She was ready to walk away from the emotional control she allowed him to retain over her; ready to put to rest the friendship that she once depended on as her daughter now depended on her. It was time once again to move on and leave the past to take care of itself. Slipping her hand into the front pocket of her jeans she pulled free a small silver box and opening it pulled a small blue chip from its dark blue velvet cushion. Holding it in the palm of her hand she let her thumb caress it's smooth surface a few times as she remembered the night she refused to gamble away her last memento of a wonderfully amazing evening.

Looking out over the horizon, Alexis let the tears fall as she said her final goodbye. "Here's to letting go..." With an ache in her heart for the loss of her child's father and the friendship that once meant so much to her, Alexis raised her arm and tossed the chip far out into the water watching it quickly disappear beneath the turbulent waves. And the tears of sorrow and regret continued to rain down her face. It was done now, no looking back. Her future was waiting for her, as was her daughter. She caught herself suddenly wondering if her future could possibly include a man who was also learning how to let go of the past. Standing there in the midst of a coming storm, Alexis suddenly found herself needing to see Ric... needing his calm assurance that everything would work out no matter how laden she was with doubt and fear.

Sticking his head in the door at Kelly's, Ric shouted at Mike. "Have you seen Alexis this afternoon?" Receiving a negative answer, Ric slammed the door and stood there thinking a moment. Turning his head towards the docks... 'Surely she wouldn't go down there in this weather.' He thought. Talking to himself he turned toward the docks. "Yes she would if she needed space, if she was upset... she wouldn't want Kristina to see her upset."

Rounding the corner of the Fisherman's Wharf, his heart jumped at the sight of her standing on the landing below. Running down the steps he shouted out to her.

"Alexis?"

When she turned her pale tearstained face up to find him, he felt the bottom fall out of his world at the sight of what he assumed was grief. And in that moment the sky opened up and released a torrent of rain that had them both soaked in seconds. Without hesitating he went to her taking his jacket off and wrapped it around her shaking body then quickly opened the umbrella to shelter her from the piercing raindrops. "Come on, sweetheart. I have to get you out of the rain." When she didn't move, he turned back to face her and suddenly found himself enveloped in her arms.

"How did you know?" she whispered just loud enough to be heard over the pelting rain.

"Know what?" he gasped, shocked at her unabashed welcome of his sudden appearance.

"That I needed you."

He choked on the lump in his throat. "I didn't know, Alexis. I don't even know how I knew you were in trouble, but we can't stop to discuss it now. We have to get off the docks. Now come on, let's get out of here." Turning back toward the steps he pulled her underneath the shelter of his arm and gently guided her as swiftly as he could back up the stairs and turned them toward home.

Reaching her apartment building, rather than going in, Ric tucked her quickly into his car. He was taking her home with him. 'She needs me.' He thought. 'That's what she said... she needs me and I'm not about to let her down. And she's not going back into that apartment until I can somehow get it cleaned up.' Closing the car door after settling her, he ran around to his side and slipped in as quickly as he could, closing the umbrella and tossing it into the backseat. Just as he turned back around Alexis shrieked causing him to jump sending the top of his head into the roof of the car. Rubbing it fiercely he reached and took hold of her hand.

"What?"

"Kristina. Where is Kristina? Where is my daughter?"

He shook his head back and forth forcing himself to swallow all of the questions that were swirling around in his head. He knew that if she were not so upset about whatever happened in her apartment she would be more in control of her thoughts and would have already remembered Kristina's gym class. Looking at her, he was stunned at the sadness and unease he found in her eyes. Opening his mouth to question her about her meeting with Sonny, he quickly closed it as he took in the sight of her frantic face and trembling body. His questions could wait. Alexis couldn't. She was cold and wet and shivering. He resigned himself to fumbling in the dark until he could get her comfortable enough to confide in him. And that meant relieving her fears and getting her safely to his home where he could take proper care of her.

"Calm down, Alexis. She's fine. It seems we were both so concerned about today that we forgot it was her day for gym class. Viola has Kristina. I called her just a while ago and told her to cut the class short since this storm was coming. Viola took Kristina home with her until I could find you. We can go get her right now if you would like, but I think with the storm getting worse we should probably wait until it dies down some."

Alexis sat back against the leather upholstery and breathed a sigh of relief. She should have known Ric would take care of Kristina first. It was what she should have done. And if she hadn't let Sonny get to her she would have Kristina at home by now... and her next thought sent the tears trailing down her cheeks again. 'I would have her home and she would probably be cut and bleeding from the effects of her father's temper tantrum'. She felt the car move and looked up to find Ric carefully maneuvering them out into the traffic, concentrating on getting them safely to his place. She smiled apologetically at him when he looked over at her with concern. His reassuring smile touched her as nothing else had in a long time. It was nice to be able to depend on someone else for a change. She relaxed a bit and looking down found his right hand resting on his thigh. She reached over and covered it with her own entwining her fingers with his and pulled his hand closer to lie on the seat between them. Throughout the long day, it was his strength, his presence that she leaned on. It was a single glossy photo that she kept reaching for when fear or anger threatened to overtake her. Reaching into her back pocket she pulled the photo free and looked at it once again. Hearing him chuckle beside her she smiled and looked over at him.

"You don't know how much this picture helped me today, Ric?"

He relaxed a bit and breathed deeply. She seemed ready to start putting the day behind her. He tightened his hold on her hand and smiled to himself. She initiated the contact this time. And that made him want to dance and shout and run through the streets yelling at the top of his lungs. He looked back over at her and saw her staring intently at the photo with a small strained smile still on her face. He began to talk to her quietly in an effort to further calm her and lead her thoughts back to a more pleasant place.

"You don't know how much fun we had just trying to get that picture to look the way we wanted it to. Either my beard wasn't full enough for her or a blob of mud ended up in her mouth or..."

"My daughter ate mud, Ric? She asked with alarm.

He laughed at the look of unbelief and panic on her face. "No, she didn't eat mud. We just got a little too close to her mouth and it... fell in. She made the funniest faces trying to spit it all out while we washed her mouth out with water. She was the cutest little thing. I wish you could have been there."

"So do I." Her voice almost inaudible, he barely heard her words. She was headed down again so he did his best to pick her back up.

"Next time, Alexis. But you have to promise that you won't say no if she decides you will look pretty with a mud hat."

Her wide eyes met his grin. "I am not going to put mud in my hair."

"And if that's what your beautiful inquisitive little daughter wants?"

He got her with that one. He laughed as he watched her shut her mouth and turn to look out her window. A particularly loud roll of thunder sent their hearts jumping and Ric felt it's effect on Alexis through her continued hold on his hand as her fingers tightened around his. He tried to calm her as best he could and still keep his focus on his driving knowing he should have both hands on the steering wheel, but he simply refused to let go of her. "Not much farther now, Alexis. I don't know about you but I'm ready to get out of this mess."

She didn't answer, but he felt her thumb begin a back and forth movement against his. Glancing over at her, he could tell by her distraction that she was unaware of the caressing motion of her thumb. But he was well aware it... and it forced him to concentrate even harder on his driving. Her delicate touch was driving him insane with the need to pull her closer. He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally pulled into the parking garage of his building. Turning toward her he let go of her hand and reached toward her to pull the two sides of his jacket together and zipped them up so that maybe she wouldn't get any wetter. Looking out at the pouring rain he highly doubted he would be able to fully protect her from its driving force.

"Stay put until I come around. I'll get the umbrella opened and we'll make a mad dash for the door. Just be careful... the pavement might be slippery."

She didn't argue no matter how much she felt the need to inform him that she was a big girl and knew how to get out of the rain. His care for her and the need to protect her was endearing and after the day she just put herself through, it was a welcome relief to let someone else take over for a change. She looked up as he tapped on her window to let her know he was ready for her, and a soft gasp escaped her lips. Looking up at his face through the rain-spattered window, she felt tears fill her eyes again as the raindrops hit the window and began to travel down in little rivers. For a moment it gave the illusion that he appeared to be crying and she felt her heart tear. She knew it was caused by her fear that one day he would look at her and hate her for sending his brother to prison.

Opening the door for her, Ric reached in to help her and just as she stood up beside him a gale force gust of wind tore the umbrella from his hand and they were both left unprotected from the torrential rain. He wrapped his arm around her and slammed the door. "We'll have to run for it. Just stay close and we'll be out of this mess in a minute," he shouted to her over the sound of the storm around them.

Moments later they were standing at his door, drenched and shaking from the chill of the rain. Ric fished his keys from his pocket and opening the door ushering Alexis in as quickly as possible. He needed to get her warm before she became sick. Shutting the door behind them, he turned and reached for the dripping jacket she still wore.

"Let me get that jacket off of you, Alexis. I can't have you getting sick on me. You need to get warm." He talked quietly while his hands worked quickly to unzip the jacket and push it off her shoulders. Feeling her eyes upon him, he looked up and reddened with embarrassment under her indulging gaze. "Sorry. I just... you know... wanted... you need to get warm... I can get something for you to wear... you're wet..."

She smiled warmly at his unease. "I'm not so far gone that I can't undress myse..." she stopped, suddenly bashful and painfully aware of where her unguarded words were leading her. Attempting to redirect his attention she looked down at his soaked shirt and swallowed hard. It clung to him like a second skin detailing every muscle, every ripple caused by his own chilled body. She reached out to touch him wondering if the planes of his chest were as hard as they appeared to be under his clinging shirt, what would he feel like beneath her inquiring fingers. The chill of his shirt seemed to fade as she laid her palm on his chest. As her fingers splayed out across his chest, warmth born from her own body's long denied need began to travel up her arm and continue onward to infuse her whole body. Chilled heat suddenly became very enticing. "You're wet too." she whispered.

Her touch set him on fire. As cold as they both were, the excitement her touch elicited caused a rush of electricity to travel throughout his body and he shivered unconsciously. His body reacted, without hesitation and he knew he needed to put some space between them... fast. "Yeah, I think we just need to get out of these wet clothes."

The quick lift of her head and the shock in her eyes told him she misunderstood. "No... I mean..." he laughed nervously and settled himself as best he could then tried again. "Why don't you just go into my bathroom and take off those wet clothes and get into a hot bath."

Alexis eyes drifted down toward the floor as her face flushed hotly with embarrassment at her misinterpretation of his intent. Her face reddened further when she suddenly realized her hand still lay upon his chest. Jerking it away from him she wrapped her arms around her waist and turned away. "I'm... I'm sorry. It's just... just unusual for me to... you know... be here. Like this."

Ric smiled and did his best to hide his own reactions to having her finally with him after spending the day worrying about her and then to find himself panicked when he couldn't find her. He was so frantic that when he did finally find her on the docks, the relief was such that he had to fight to control his reactions so as not to scare her away. Watching her slowly turn away from him he reached for her and catching her upper arm turned her back towards him... he needed to hold her... needed to feel her arms around him... if only for a moment. He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her.

"You had me scared out of my mind, Alexis. I couldn't find you. I called your apartment... you never answered, so I went there. The door was unlocked... I saw the wreckage... and your keys... I searched the place, but you were gone. I couldn't find you." The more he tried to explain, the more he remembered how scared he was... how lost he felt when he couldn't find her... His voice broke and all he was left with was a whisper. "You were gone. Then the storm... I knew you were out there... somewhere... but I didn't know where... I just started running... you... you were gone." The more he tried to explain... the more he felt the fear all over again and he couldn't help the tears that filled his eyes as he held her tighter.

Alexis felt the trembling in his body and knew that this time it wasn't born from the wet clothes or the chill in the air. His body told her more than his words ever could. The amount of raw emotion emanating from him stunned her. When did he begin to care so much about what happened to her? She lifted her arms and wrapped them around him as tight as she could.

"Shhh... It's okay, Ric. I'm fine. It's over. It's all over. Shhhh..." Rubbing her hands up and down his back she comforted him as best she could for a moment then stopped and settled her hands around his waist waiting for him to calm down enough to be able to let go. Ric needed to get warm just as much as she did, but Alexis knew that Ric would not take care of himself until he had taken care of her. And they both needed time to put away any telltale signs of false emotions induced by the anxiety of the day. At least she knew she did.

When his arms relaxed around her she gently released herself from his hold then took a small step back. Looking up at him she noticed one single glistening tear making it's final trek down his face and reached up to softly brush it away then smiled as she tweaked his nose in an effort to lighten his mood. "Didn't you say something about a warm bath. If this shivering gets any more severe, my teeth will either fall out from the chattering or my tongue will get caught between them and get bitten completely off which might not be a bad thing for you as it will render me completely unable to talk and I'm sure you could find something better to do than listen to me ramble all evening..." She was suddenly quieted with Ric's finger against her lips and the sound of his laughter reached deep inside and unlocked her own laughter. She loved the sound of his laughter.

Ric was grateful to her for gently leading them into a safer place, away from his vulnerable emotions. He joined her attempts to lighten the mood.

"It occurred to me sometime today that you might have exhausted your daily quota of conversation with everyone else and you probably wouldn't want to expend any more effort by enlightening me with the result of your days activity. Evidently I was wrong in my assumption. So, if I might interrupt your current ramble for just a moment, I'll let you rest those lovely vocal chords for a while by simply leading you into the seductive haven of my bedroom." His last words were spoken with a lower silkier tone of voice and he laughed as she slapped at him noting the red hue that stole across her cheeks.

Ric also understood that they both needed time to put away any feelings that might be uncomfortable between them... he knew he did! He never wanted Alexis to feel uncomfortable with him because his feelings for her were more than what she felt for him. It was enough that she was with him... safe and would be his... alone... for most of the evening. Reigning in his excitement, he leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead then let her go. "Before anything else rises to cause you to feel the need to beat me why don't we get this show on the road. Come on." He took her hand and led her toward his bedroom both of them laughing at the silliness of their banter. "I think you'll enjoy using my bath more than the guest bath. There's a Jacuzzi in here and you can take all the time you need." Letting go of her hand he walked swiftly into his bath and returned with a basket full of a variety of bathing soaps, oils and bath beads.

A cloud settled over Alexis as she looked up into Ric's eyes.

"Elizabeth?"

He should have known Alexis would jump to that conclusion. One simple question and he found himself needing to explain a relationship that was no longer a factor in his life. He wanted to reassure Alexis that Elizabeth was finally in his past and the only residual feelings left where she was concerned were nothing more than those he would feel for a good friend. But it would have to wait. It was a conversation that would take more time than he wished to give it right then. So he told her truthfully where he obtained the articles.

"Okay, you caught me. I do a lot of traveling. I pay outrageous fares for hotel rooms. I usually take my own stuff, so I collect what the hotel leaves for their guests and bring it home with me... for times like this." He was slightly embarrassed to admit to hoarding fancy hotel toiletries, but his embarrassment faded when she laughed and admitted to doing the same thing.

Handing her the basket he walked back to his bedroom door and turned once more to look at her. He never tired of just watching her. "When you're done, I'll have some dry clothes laid out on the bed. Just take your time and I'll see if I can't come up with something for us to eat after I get cleaned up."

Alexis stood there for a moment taking in the sight of him. From the moment he found her on the docks, Ric made her feel as though she was the most important person in his life. And she didn't have a clue how to respond to him. Her own feelings toward him were quickly becoming more than what she ever expected to feel for him. Watching him watch her an impromptu impulse suddenly struck her and without questioning the why of it, she simply gave in and let it lead her. She walked slowly toward him and upon reaching him leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. With her lips just an inch away from his she lingered a moment and then broke the contact. She looked up into his surprised eyes. "Thank you, Ric. For taking care of me and my daughter!" With that she turned and quickly made her way back to the bathroom and closed the door behind her not wanting to give Ric time to question her action. If she couldn't explain it to herself, then she certainly wouldn't be able to explain it to him. Something was happening to her and it was causing a mountain of fear to rise within the closely guarded walls of her heart. Alexis never was able to calmly handle anything she didn't understand. And what she was feeling for Ric Lansing definitely fell under the category of something she didn't understand. But, as she sat down on the side of the bathtub, a basket of kindness in her lap, Alexis stared at the closed door and allowed herself to begin the task of sorting through the feelings and chaotic confusion that surrounded the thought that Ric was actually becoming more than just a friend. Much more.

Ric watched her walk into his bath and close the door behind her, shutting herself away from his hungry eyes. He stood there for a moment more wondering how he was going to make it through the evening without giving away just how much he was beginning to care about her. He ducked his head and sighed heavily knowing that it was going to be hard keeping his feelings for her locked away. He made his way to his dresser and opened the bottom drawer. Pulling out a pair of sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt, he lay them across his bed then walked back to the door and with one last lingering look toward his bathroom he reached for the bedroom door and closed it softly behind him.