Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I will one day. I'll own Haku and Gaara fangirlish squeal and Neji fangirlish squeal and goes on and on.
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A young blonde-haired boy was walking down a well worn path toward a pond that was nearby. The sunlight sparkled in his innocent blue eyes as he happily rounded a bend.
Suddenly, a small cry was emitted.
"Hn?" he muttered as he froze, listening. The sounds were coming from the pond behind the bushes.
Ever so cautiously, Naruto creeped toward the bush that sat between him and his view of the pond. He parted the branches, making a small hole in the bush.
"O.o" Naruto froze as his eyes focused on the scene in front of him.
In the pond, Neji was laid halfway in the water. His bare body glistened as he moaned in ectasy. Above him, the S class criminal Itachi hovered over him, grunting slightly, as he entered Neji repeatedly, increasing his rhythm.
Naruto stared for a few moments more. 'He must have been on the run and on the road for quite some time,' he thought. He finally retreated after another long moment and wandered off to find Sasuke. His departure was punctuated by another loud moan from Neji.
The spiky, black-haired Uchiha sat on a bench nearby as glared over toward the pink haired girl and the blonde. They were standing under a nearby tree talking amongst each other. They smiled at him again.
Sakura walked over to him in a rather small red bikini and red flip flops. Ino was wearing a similar suit except that hers was a light shade of blue that matched her eyes.
"So. Sasuke-kun..." Sakura said slowly with a smile.
"Yeah?" said Sasuke as he cast an annoyed glance toward them. "Whada ya want"
Sakura managed to hold in the urge to grab him in her arms and cry out, "YOU"
Ino cleared her throat. "We were hoping you'd come sunbathing with us"
"No Ino," he stated flatly.
Sakura and Ino shared a look. They closed in on him, wrapping their arms around him and pressing close.
"Pleasseee Sasuke-kun?" they chimed.
Naruto came upon the small meadow where Ino and Sakura seemed to be trying to seduce Sasuke. However, they were going about it in a rather interesting way.
They were tickling him.
Sasuke lay on the ground, totally under the mercy of the two girls. Naruto was surprised at his classmate. The best of the three of us brought down with tickling! Naruto stood behind a few bushes as he watched them. He saw the expression that passed between Sakura and Ino's faces Ino's hands slowly slipped down Sasuke's sides to his shorts. Quickly and easily, she undid his shorts and returned to tickling.
Naruto blinked. Sakura smiled and leaned down to lick Sasuke's ear.
"What the hell?" Sasuke asked, laughter still on his face. Suddenly, a new emotion crossed his face and he moaned.
Ino took that moan as encouragement and took a little more into her mouth. Sakura kissed Sasuke on his lips and cheeks, moving down his neck.
Naruto frowned. 'No fair,' he thought to himself, 'He has two. And I don't think he even knows that his brother is here'
Naruto decided to go find one of Neji's teammates to alert them of the situation at hand.
"Lets see... Rock Lee's house should be somewhere around here. Ah! There... it... is?" Naruto stopped a few feet away from the small front yard as he observed the figures stretched out in grass.
Rock Lee and Ten Ten were two busy making out to notice him. They lay on the soft grass together, lips locked, hands roaming across the other's body fondly.
Naruto forgot all about alerting the village now. What he wanted now was comfort.
Naruto made his way to Hinata's home, but only found that she went for a walk. He followed the path he was directed down and soon found her.
Hinata sat on a large rock, gazing up with hopeful glee toward a woman with long dark hair. No. Not a woman.
Haku?
Haku bent down toward short-haired Hyuga girl with a smile. He wiped the few tears from her pale lavender eyes and kissed her lips softly.
Naruto watched with wide eyes as Haku's hands slipped inside Hinata's kimono.
"NOOOOOOoooooooooo!" Naruto wailed in his head.
He left the area and ran from the sounds of the activity he knew would follow.
Haku and Hinata lay spent on the ground, entwined in the other's arms. They smiled and giggled.
As they pulled their clothes on, they both sensed a slightly intimidating presence from behind. They turned quickly.
"Za-Zabuza-sensi!" Haku stuttered.
Hinata blushed as she stared back at the seemingly eyebrow-less man.
"I-I should go," she mumbled.
She quickly disappeared into the trees.
"Haku?" Zabuza said.
"Y-yes Zabuza- sensei"
"Come with me"
"Yes Zabuza-sensei."
Naruto ran blindly through the forest, tears of panic streaming from his eyes.
"What is this world coming too! Ahhhh! No! Too many raging hormones around! Waita minute... I didn't know I knew that word. Hor- hor- hormen? CRAP!" Naruto stomped the ground angrily. Then he heard voices from down the path.
'Shikamaru! Maybe he knows what to do, since he's not crazy enough to get into all that hormone stuff. Hey! I said it again! Hor- hor- main? CRAP'
He headed down toward where he heard Shikamaru's voice. He peeked over the bush cautiously when he realized someone else was there.
"Isn't that Gaara's older sister?" he said to himself in a voiceless whisper.
"Will you stop with all that silly girlish stuff? It's too bothersome," he was saying to her.
Temari just smiled. "Okay." She jumped on him, pinning him to the ground and straddling him. "Lets get down to business then"
Naruto spazzed. He turned and ran.
When he rounded a corner on the path, he spotted Haku talking with Zabuza.
'Yay! He's gonna punish him for what he did to Hinata! Set that bastard straight!' Naruto cheered in his mind.
Just at that moment, Zabuza pinned Haku to the tree.
"What is he... He's not going to hurt him is he- Oh MY GOD"
He stared as Zabuza's lips dominated Haku's and his hands slipped down to grip his cheek.
Naruto turned to run but ended up literally flying into a certain red-head.
"G-Gaara!" Naruto stuttured. (AN: O Kyaa)
Gaara glanced toward Haku and Zabuza with an expressionless face. Then he grabbed Naruto's wrist and led him out of hearing range. He smiled down at Naruto.
"You're blushing"
Naruto stared at Gaara for a moment before he started gushing out information starting with his morning walk to the pond. Gaara sat and listened, his face still expressionless. When Naruto finally stopped talking to gasp for air, Gaara suddenly smiled. He reached a hand out to touch Naruto's cheek. "You're cute when your innocence is being tarnished"
"OxO!" Naruto glared at him. "How can you even think about something like that at a time like this"
Gaara blinked. "Well, someone has to complete the orgy"
" "" " Naruto broke and ran.
Naruto ran all the way to Iruka's house. He busts through the door yelling like a ninny. Iruka peeked his head out of his bathroom door.
"Naruto?" he asked as he quickly closed the door behind him.
"Oh Iruka!" Naruto whined. He, once again, recounted the events from this morning. Iruka stood silently, listening.
Naruto sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "Um, Iruka? Did you just come out of the shower?" He looked over the man with towel wrapped around his waist and the damp hair that clung to his forehead. "I'm sorry"
"Oh Iruka! We're not done scrubbing! Come on back before we run out... of... hot... uh-oh." Kakashi stared at Naruto as Naruto stared back at him.
"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDD! WAHHHHHHH! YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH THE HENTAI!
AND HE'S WEARING THE MASK! ACKKKKKKK"
Naruto ran from the house.
Yay! That was fun! Tell me what you thought in a review!