Warning: This Chapter is Rated PG-13
Chapter 21
She stood in the doorway watching him lather his face. He was beautiful… he was strong and loving and whether she was ready for it or not, her heart was completely lost to him. Drawing close she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder watching intently as he continued to prepare his face for shaving. After a few moments she caught his eyes in the mirror and sliding one hand up parted his robe to find his heart. She smiled at the faint flutter underneath her palm and continued to watch him as her thoughts returned to their conversation the night before.
She tapped his chest lightly a couple of times to get his attention. "Who do you see, Ric?" she asked quietly.
His eyes questioned her and just as he began to turn his head her way she caught his chin and forced him to keep his eyes trained on his own reflection in the mirror.
"Who do you see in the mirror, Ric?"
He smiled finally understanding her question. He met his own gaze once more then slid his eyes toward her reflection standing behind him and his smile grew warmer. Slipping his hand inside his robe he clasped hers and held it gently as he responded.
"I see a man in love with a very beautiful woman who spent a very revealing and amazingly breathtaking night with him. And I see a man who no longer questions his motives." Turning to face her he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned back resting the weight of them both against the counter. "And I see 'us'. Not Ric, not Alexis… but us… together! And I see a woman who gave me the world in the space of a few hours. And I see time… lots of time… time to love you… touch you… time for us to grow together… and time just to sit with you and watch you breathe… watch you be with me."
His words moved her and sent her back to the memory of loving him throughout the night. For every hour she spent in his arms, she wished for a hundred more. But, it was morning and regretfully there were responsibilities calling for their attention. Reaching up she let her finger slide across his lips taking a dollop of stray lather out of harm's way. Then reaching behind him she picked up the small brush and mug and adding a little water to the mug re-lathered the brush while his arms stayed wound around her. She winked at him as she began where he left off and finished lathering his face. Once done she returned the mug to the counter and leaned back to survey her work finally satisfied that his early morning beard was completely covered. Spreading her palms across his chest she pushed gently until his hold on her was released.
"Where are you going? I thought sure you would finish the job for me."
Smiling coyly she turned toward the shower. "Since you found it necessary to abandon me in the middle of a cold bed this morning while you showered alone, I think it only equitable that I leave you to finish shaving alone while I take my shower… alone." Untying her robe she let it casually drift open as she reached for the shower door. Looking back at him she found his darkened eyes following her every move. She couldn't help herself. It was fun playing with Ric. "I think I proved last night that there are certain rewards for particularly good behavior. And now I think it only fair that you realize there are also certain penalties for particularly bad behavior." Dropping her shoulders she let the robe fall silently to the floor. Just as he lunged for her she quickly slipped into the shower pulling the door closed behind her and all he was left with was her laughter and an empty robe pooled on the floor.
Returning to the sink, Ric picked up his razor and tried to concentrate on clearing the foamy whiskers from his face. The more he tried to concentrate the more his eyes kept drifting toward the shower. Watching the silhouette of her was more tantalizing than anything he'd ever seen before. Especially since he was now intimately familiar with every curve of her body. The groan of pleasure he heard as she stepped under the heat of the shower spray stole the last remaining trace of restraint left in him. Alexis wouldn't be doing anything alone that morning… not if he had any say in the matter. He slowly moved toward the shower door and dropping his own robe quietly opened it. Her back was to him, but he knew she was aware of his presence. The chill of the open door caused her to shiver, but she still didn't turn to face him. Alexis was ignoring him deliberately. Ric smiled and stepped into the shower pulling the door closed behind him. He stood close behind her without touching her. Two could play this game… so he waited patiently. Just as he was about to relent, he saw her reach behind her back to find him and grasping his hand drew it up to curve around her waist. He leaned over just enough to catch sight of her profile. He couldn't be sure because of the heat of the water, but Alexis appeared to be blushing.
"You don't play fair." He heard her mumble.
"Neither do you." He returned, her voice clearly giving away her sudden shyness. "Why, Alexis? Why shy now after the night we just shared together?"
Finally turning to face him she buried her face in the curve of his neck as her arms closed around him.
"I don't know. I guess in the light of day when everything is big and real again… I guess I'm just waiting for you to decide that we made a mistake or something. I know it doesn't make sense and I know I'm probably being neurotic… but I can't ever remember being this happy before and it scares me. I'm scared, Ric."
He chuckled ironically as he reached for the soap. "I guess I really should have pulled you into the shower with me this morning. Then we could have had the same doubts and fears at the same time." Turning her around to lean against his back, he wrapped one arm around her waist and began to slowly run the bar of soap across her skin. He felt her hand grasp his and follow his movements. She wanted his touch as much as he wanted hers. He continued to speak softly into her ear.
"I was standing here worried out of my mind that once we were dressed and facing the day you would want to leave me and somehow never get back to here… how we are right now. I wanted to run back to you… back to the way we were with each other all night. I wanted to reassure myself that it really was as good and easy as it was. But I couldn't. I couldn't move for fear that it wouldn't be the way I remembered and I couldn't face that. So I pushed my fears down as far as I could and let my natural arrogance take over again."
"So if I learn how to be arrogant, I won't have to face the doubts and fears?" She replied cynically her fear getting the best of her.
He stopped the motion of their hands and he held her closer. "As much as I would love for it to work that way, it doesn't. All the doubt and fear… it's still there, hiding behind the next round of trouble we come up against. We can't hide from it, Alexis. We're going to have to face it and deal with it or it will tear us apart. And I don't think I could survive your loss. Not now! Not after this!" His voice turned questioning. "But, don't you think that if we have the same doubts… the same fears… don't you think it will be easier for us to deal with them now… now that we know we both share them?"
She suddenly turned to face him and grasping his hands within her own looked up with tears in her eyes. He was asking her for answers and she simply didn't have them. She was just as unsure of stepping out into the world this morning as he was. She wanted their time protected just as much as he did. "I'm not ready to leave 'us' yet, Ric. I love my daughter with all my heart and I know she's probably missing me, but I need more time… here… with you. Just the two of us."
He pulled her close and felt her tremble in his arms. "Kristina is fine. I told her you would call her later. I called Viola to check on her and told her that I was going to call a cleaning crew to clean up the mess in your apartment, but I wanted her there first to pick up the files and put them in the desk before anyone saw them. She's on her way with Kristina to your apartment. Everything is taken care of and we don't have to leave here until we're both ready." He reached up and caught her face between his hands. "You know I'm not ready to leave either, Alexis. I don't want to let go of what we have here until we're both sure of where we stand and where we want to go with this. I'm not ready to share you yet. I just found out who I really am inside and I'm not ready to share that with anyone but you."
Wrapping her arms around him she hugged him close whispering in his ear. "Thank you, Ric. Thank you for taking care of us. Thank you for loving my daughter…" She swallowed hoping it would dislodge the lump in her throat that was almost preventing her from finishing her thought. "…and thank you for loving me."
"Come on." He replied huskily as he began to clear away the soap from her body. "I want to fix you some breakfast. Neither one of us ate last night and there's no telling when you last ate anything of substance. And honey, you're going to need all the strength you can muster today."
She stopped his hands and held them still by his side as she stood on tiptoe to place a small kiss on his lips. "Does this mean you have a full day of entertainment planned for us?" She teased.
He grinned delightedly. "I'm going to start from scratch and inch by inch I'm going to love you all over again. I'm going to send you to the moon and then bring you slowly back down to lay beside me until you're ready to go again. Before we walk out that door today we are both going to know exactly what we feel, where we stand and where we're going… that is if my little bed buddy has it in her to make such monumental commitment related decisions."
She slapped at him as she laughed again silently acknowledging that he understood and accepted her fear of commitment. She felt him lift her eyes to meet his again; his own eyes grew serious as he continued. "And if you are still not ready to make a decision regarding any one of those issues, you will at least know where I stand before we walk out that door sometime before night falls."
Slipping her hand into the curls on the back of his head she pulled his lips closer to her own and looking deep into his eyes took possession of his mouth, quickly slipping inside and caressing him provocatively until she felt the stirrings of his passion in the low hum of his voice and in his growing ardor. Reaching down she pulled his hips closer to hers and felt the intensity of his response in the gasp of pleasure he released into her lungs. She rocked seductively against him and then slowly completely released him stepping back to allow the hot spray of the shower to flow down his body further stimulating the already intense fire consuming him. The shudder that passed through his body and the hiss of air he sucked quickly into his lungs thrilled her as he desperately reached up to find something secure to hold on to. It kept his knees from buckling as the sensation of hot piercing drops of rain pelted the natural heat of his body and the arousal that she deliberately initiated. "Alexisss…" He groaned as he reached for her. Quickly taking his hand she pushed him backward so that he could lean against the wall of the shower as he lifted her to settle around him stopping the pleasurable assault of pulsing spray on him. "Please…" she heard him whisper as he pulled her closer. His need of her touched the deepest part of her heart and as he leaned against the wall she gave him what he needed most from her in that moment. She gave him her body and took nothing for herself.
Never taking her eyes from his face, she watched his every expression as he satisfied the need she provoked in him. His face was beautiful… soft… full of eager expectation and quiet wonder. When he was almost free of the lust that gripped him, Alexis wrapped her arms around his neck and held him as close as she could. She felt his breath quicken with every thrust as his head dropped to her shoulder. Then in the next moment he was flying and the strangled cry that burst from his lungs sent his head slamming back toward the wall. She quickly caught him before he could hurt himself. Alexis tenderly wiped the drops of water and tears from his face and then began to gently caress his shoulders, chest and arms to help him recover enough to safely step back out onto the tiled floor. Before she could finish her task, she felt him reach for her.
Lifting his hands to her face, he held her still as his eyes pierced hers, his chin trembling faintly. "Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how much I need you? It scares the hell out of me, Alexis. How will I ever survive if you leave me?"
Feeling the water begin to grow cold, Alexis reached for his hands and pulled them from her face before turning to shut off the water. Then taking hold of him she led him out of the shower and while he stood watching her intently, she pulled a towel down from the shelf and began to wipe the remaining water off his body before he became too chilled. She took care of him just as she would have if it were Kristina she was caring for. She and Ric had more in common than she ever could have imagined. And that thought alone comforted her more than anything he could have ever said to her.
Picking his robe up from the floor, she helped him into it and then tied it closed. Taking hold of his arms she finally looked up into his eyes. The love and adoration she found there stole her breath. "Finish your shave." Her voice was hoarse from the effort of holding her raw emotions safely tucked away until she was ready to voice them. "I'll call the grill and have breakfast delivered then I'll meet you back in the bedroom. We'll talk then."
Nodding his head, he agreed and just before he turned back to the basin, he reached up and ran his fingers down her cheek sending a trail of water toward her chin to fall silently to the floor. Taking the towel from her hand he pressed it to her cheeks and neck then quickly proceeded downward to dry the rest of the dampness from her body then bled as much of the dripping water from her hair as he could. When he was finished he whispered. "Dry your hair first. I don't want you getting chilled either. The hairdryer is in the drawer to the left of the sink and there is a brush beside it. I'll shave while you dry your hair. Deal?"
She smiled at the unexpected feeling of normalcy that filled her over sharing a bathroom with a man… with Ric. "Deal. Hair first, then breakfast." She replied as she reached for the hairdryer.