Corinthos Household-
Sonny walked into his home after his conversation with Mike. It was longer than he expected it to be, but that wasn't surprising. He tended to have a streak of talking to Mike for longer than he thought. What was surprising was the fact that they were actually talking, and having a good conversation. Gone, at least for that moment, was the atmosphere and hate and neglect and sadness. They were both fathers. They had to be able to relate on that level. Sonny may have been the more fatherly figure of the two, but nothing changed the fact that Mike was a dad.
"Sonny…"
Sonny was stopped before he could even close the door. He heard his wife's voice, the sweet softness that he couldn't live without. Carly may have had moments where her voice was something scary, but for the most part it was pleasant. "Did you sleep well?"
"Fine, thanks," Carly ran her index finger around the rim of her coffee mug. "You know how much I love having that big king size bed all to myself. It's about the only thing that could challenge how much I love when I have someone in that same bed with me…"
"You have someone specific in mind?" Sonny sat next to her, dimples flashing.
"I don't think that you should know the answer to that question. Especially if you have to ask…"
"I'll just assume that the person you enjoy having in bed with you is me. That way I can manage to get some sleep when I'm in bed with you. How's that?"
"Whatever makes you happy, Sonny," Carly was playing with Sonny in the way that she often did. Of course Sonny was the one that she wanted in her bed next to her, she was his wife, he was her life. Throughout it all, even the times when she knew how much she hated Sonny she also knew that despite that she loved him even more. The angry feelings that she felt for him at various points in her life, most recently when he refused to let his son stay out of his life, were strong, but nothing had ever gotten them to the point where they could break things off with one another and keep themselves from getting back together.
"What are the boys doing?" Sonny would always ask for a progress report on his children when he came back after being away, even if it was only for a short time. If he left for a long enough time in his mind to merit the knowledge of his children's activities, he would find out.
"Morgan just went back to sleep," Carly's motherly instincts shined when she thought of how sweet her baby looked as he curled up inside his warm blanket. "I gave Leticia enough time to take a nice relaxing shower while I watched my own child…"
"She deserves the time to herself…"
"Sonny…"
"Yeah?"
"Do you," Carly paused, "do you think that we don't spend enough time with our children? That we just push them on anyone who will take them away from us, even for a little while? We have Leticia, Max, Jason, Courtney and even Damian. The boys love spending time with all of them. I don't worry about Michael that much, but what about Morgan? What if he starts rejecting us as his parents because we're not always there for him?"
"But we are there for him, Carly," Sonny sympathized with his wife, because it was a fear that he commonly found himself feeling. He knew what happened when a father wasn't around his children as much as they needed him. He had been through that. He didn't want Michael or Morgan to hate him the way that Sonny hated Mike, that would cut through him even more than any bullet ever could. "We have a lot of things that we have to do, you know that. I'm always running around, doing things that I shouldn't do with a child around, and that's why I don't take the boys with me. And you… the Cellar isn't exactly the best place for a baby to grow up, unless you want him to become an alcoholic."
"Sonny!" Carly was astonished that her husband was thinking about the possibility of their baby becoming a drunk. But she had to admit that he had a point. Their lives didn't make for the most social interaction time with their children, and at least they had people that they could depend on. "I don't know why I'm thinking about this… it's just, sometimes, I worry about the way that Morgan looks at me and I wonder if he recognizes me right away, or if he's thinking 'who is this woman again?' That's something that I want to get out of my mind."
"Everyone knows their mother, Carly…"
"I didn't…"
"If Bobbie had been able to keep you and raise you the way that she wanted, Carly, you would have known who she was even if she wasn't around all the time. There's this connection that children automatically make with their parents, it's impossible to sever… at least as long as the connection is made." Sonny turned his head away, "If it's not, then I guess it makes it easier to lose a parent, or not even have one at all."
"You didn't know, Sonny. You didn't know." And yet, there was still the part of Carly that wished he had never known. She wouldn't lie and say that she didn't think Damian was a good influence on her family, because he was, but they went through so many problems after he came, because he came, that she truly wasn't sure if it was all worth it in the end. She didn't know if she would ever be sure that it was worth it. "And you have a strong connection with your son now. He depends on you for a lot of things, he sees you and he knows that you're there for him. Doesn't that mean something to you?"
"You know it does, Carly. It means the world to me that I have children who know that they can depend on me in ways that we didn't think we could depend on ours. I don't know, I guess a part of me is always just waiting for some pent up rage to come out of Damian that he's been storing. I know it's not going to happen, that my son isn't harboring a grudge, I know it in my heart, but my mind keeps on telling me things like 'how could he not at least be mad at you a little bit?' And my mind never lets me forget."
"You're your own worst enemy, Sonny Corinthos, you know that?" Carly gently ran her fingers through the hair on the side of his face. She was in anguish because he was. If Sonny was hurt, then, by default, she was also hurt, even when she was the one who caused Sonny to be hurt. Their bond was so strong that they felt each other throughout everything.
"I know, and the worst part is that I'm the one person that I can't beat, no matter how hard I try."
"Then maybe you should just let yourself reach a stable mate between your heart and your brain," Carly suggested the one thing that she thought might work, but she knew that it was Sonny's battle, a very private battle.
"I wish it were that simple."
"I know, it's always complicated," Carly gave a meek, sad smile, "our lives are always complicated. Even when we're having a good time, like we are right now, there's something that threatens that peace."
Sonny found himself looking at the cabinet that he had his gun in. This time it was closed. He didn't know why he looked, probably just tense nerves, but he was glad that he didn't make the same mistake again.
"Where'd you go, Sonny?" Carly saw where he was looking and knew what he was thinking. She had looked at the same spot when she walked downstairs for the first time. She also knew that if Sonny didn't want to talk to her about where he went, he wouldn't, and she would accept that. It didn't stop her from asking.
"To see Mike."
"Did something happen? Did he get into another huge debt with the loan sharks?" Like most people, Carly assumed the worst whenever Sonny went to go see his father, because it was often only when Mike needed someone with Sonny's power to bail him out of whatever jam he was in that Sonny even bothered to go near the man. "Sonny, you can't keep on bailing your father out of every problem that he comes across. You're the son, he should be helping you."
"He did help me."
Stunned, Carly fell silent for a second. Sonny needed help, from Mike? "What do you mean?"
"I went to my father for advice."
"Advice on what?" The shock had turned into interest and questions quicker than she thought, but it was a rare moment in their lives, one that she wanted to know more about. "Sonny, is there something that you're afraid to tell me? You know that, even though I might react strongly at first, I'll eventually find a way to make peace with anything that you tell me. Please, Sonny, I don't want you to hide anything from me, not anymore."
"You couldn't help me, Carly. Not because you were involved, you're not, just because I needed the input from another father."
"And you went to Mike?"
"Odd, isn't it?" Sonny got up and took his jacket off, pulling out his phone and pressing one of the buttons that connected him directly with the person that he wanted to speak with. "Call me when the jet is ready. Thanks."
"The Jet?" Carly was a little scared. Did Sonny need to go and get into a gang war? "Where are you going?"
"Just to do something that I need to do…alone," Sonny kissed her on the cheek. "Carly, I promise you, this isn't dangerous on any level. I need to go see some people and get something that I can only get from them. I won't be gone long, in fact, I'll be back tonight."
"So did Mike have something to do with this epiphany and sudden spur of the moment trip?" Carly took Sonny's word, because he promised her that he would be all right. That didn't mean that she had to like it, or not worry about him, but she was somewhat content with the promise.
"He did. He helped me get some perspective on my situation. For once, Mike is the best person that I could have hoped to lean on. The relationship between him and I is the closest thing to the relationship that I have with Damian. That's why I went to him, Carly. He told me that I didn't need to worry about my relationship with my son, because I was doing everything in my power to make it the best relationship that it can be."
"You are, Sonny. You and him have had your problems, but what father and son haven't? I'll be the first to admit that your problems are a little more… unique than the problems that normal fathers and sons go through, but they're still problems. Besides, he went through that lovely identity crisis that everyone seems to go through, and he found that identity through you and through our family. Are you going to tell me where you're going without me?"
"Carly, I can't," Sonny sat down again. The plane wouldn't be ready for some time. "Just do me a favor, okay?"
"What's that?"
"Don't destroy anything, or anyone. I've neglected taking any time that would take me away from Port Charles because of what happened the last time I left. I don't want to call you and have you tell me that someone's in the hospital again."
Carly knew that Sonny didn't know that she was indirectly responsible for what happened with Damian, but the way that she was told not to destroy anything made her think that maybe, just maybe, he did know. It was better to ere on the side of caution rather than make a painful confessionary, though. "I'll do what I can. Maybe I'll bake some Christmas cookies…"
"I said not to destroy anything. You go near the kitchen and that counts as destruction."
"What if I don't touch anything?"
"You don't need to touch something in the kitchen to make a mess out of it, Carly. You're that special." Sonny grinned as he recalled Carly's various kitchen mishaps. She truly did have a knack for making a mess in that particular room.
"You destroy my self esteem with your scathing remarks."
"You shouldn't have any self-esteem when it comes to cooking, Carly. You should just know that it's something that you can't do. If you want cookies, buy them from Kelly's, don't risk burning the house down. It's bulletproof, not flame retardant."
Carly shook her head and glared at her husband. He was so mean to her… but she loved him anyway.