Author's Note- This is just a Journey/Carson /Lorenzo chapter. I'll get to the others during the next one. I promise.
She awoke with a start, pain rushing through her abdomen, like knives stabbing her thousands of times.
"Jason, Jason wake up. There's something wrong,"
He jumped awake, and feared that his biggest fear had come true. The doctors had warned them about this.
"Come on," he said as he scooped his moaning wife up into his arms and carried her out, and towards General Hospital. "Everything's going to be fine, it'll all be okay," he tried to assure her. But that was when she had been conscious. That had been before she had passed out.
We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding on to me
Like someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now…
"That was Jason," Carly said as she lowered the phone back to it's charger. "We need to go to the hospital."
"Is Courtney having the baby?" Sonny questioned as he watched tears form in the eyes of his wife. "Carly? Carly what's wrong? Is it Courtney?" She merely nodded and let the tears slowly slip down her cheeks.
"C-Courtney, she was having pains. Jas- Jas brought her to the h-hospital and, he's nervous Sonny. No one's told h-him any-anything," Carly sobbed as Sonny walked toward her and embraced her.
"Leticia's upstairs with the boys, we can call them later," Sonny said as he released Carly. Sure, he and Carly had been going through some rough patches. But despite all of that, they would always pull together for the sake of their family. Always.
"I need to b-be there, for J-Jason and Courtney," Carly said as she attempted to calm herself down.
"Let's go then," Sonny said, taking her hand and leading her out of the penthouse.
Just let me hold you when you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down
Jason sat with his head in hands in the waiting room. Waiting, he decided, was not something he excelled in. Actually, he wanted to throttle the next doctor that walked by. It had been an hour now, and he'd heard nothing. No good news, no bad news. Nothing. And nothing, was worse than bad news, Jason thought as he caught a glimpse of a brunette striding purposefully towards him, as if on a mission.
And indeed, she was on a mission. "Jason," Carly said as she knelt down in front of him, taking his head in her hands.
He looked up and offered her a smile. A smile, that to his great surprise, quickly turned into tears. Like the good friend that she was, she held him. She told him that everything would work out, that it would all be okay.
"Courtney's a fighter, she won't let this defeat her. And if this baby's anything like the two of you… well needless to say, it'll make it," Carly said as she wiped the tears off of her best friend's face.
It was at times like this that Jason had come to truly appreciate Carly. He had always loved her, he always would. But she really was, the best friend that he ever had.
"Jas, here comes a doctor," Sonny interrupted, and for the first time, Jason noticed that he was there.
He stood up with Carly, her holding his hand, and he prayed, prayed harder and faster then he ever did in his whole life, for them to be okay.
Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever in you, forever in me
Ever the same
"Mr. Morgan, I'm so sorry…" And those were not the words that Jason wanted to hear. From that point on, he couldn't hear anything except Carly's sobs and Sonny speaking with the doctor.
She hemorrhaged… lost a lot of blood…baby didn't have enough oxygen…sorry…nothing we could do…
Jason stood there, frozen in his spot. He didn't think he remembered feeling pain like this. The baby didn't make it. The life they had prepared for, hoped for, and longed for, was gone. Nothing had ever hurt him like this before, he actually would rather be shot. That would have been ten times better. Then, he remembered something…
"Was it a boy or a girl?" he almost whispered, through the tears.
"It was a little girl…" Jason didn't hear anything else after that, he slammed his fist against the wall and put his unoccupied hand over his face. He didn't feel himself falling to the floor. He didn't hear Sonny's voice telling him that his wife needed him. He didn't hear Carly's sniffling. All he could hear was the sound of another baby crying. And it devastated him.
We would stand in the wind
We were free like water flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Look at us, man this doesn't need to be the end
He walked into her hospital room, his face stained with tears and his heart bursting with pain. How was he supposed to tell her? She, she had wanted this baby. This had been her miracle child. She would blame herself, he already knew. It would be something that she did wrong, she should have taken more vitamins, should have gotten more rest… but Jason knew, she had done everything perfect. And as much as he hated to think it, it wasn't meant to be.
He tried to compose himself as she began to wake. He even offered her a smile as her eyes fluttered open.
"Where's the baby?" Courtney asked, eyes wandering the room. She certainly got right to the point.
"Courtney…" She didn't even let him finish, because she already knew. She could feel it. Their baby was gone.
"I lost the baby… Jason, I lost the baby," Courtney cried as Jason moved to sit on the edge of her bed, so he could hold her. He needed to comfort his wife.
He could hardly stand it, she was crying, bawling heart wrenching sobs. Each and every one of her warm tears that fell onto his shirt, tugged at his heart. It was as if someone was asking how much heartbreak he could take. Like this was some sort of test. He imagined that he was failing miserably.
"I need to see her," Courtney said as she lifted her head to look into his eyes.
"Courtney…" Jason began, not sure if seeing their baby was a good idea.
"I need to see her," Courtney was adamant, and Jason kissed her forehead and went to get a doctor, so he could take them to their child. If Courtney wanted to see the baby, he would see the baby with her. He would do whatever she needed.
Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down
Sonny had gone to the chapel, leaving Carly in the waiting room, her head in her hands. She lifted her head up when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"What happened?" Lorenzo asked as he sat down next to her and put his arm around her, rubbing her back.
"Courtney was having pains, she went into labor, but hemorrhaged and lost a lot of blood. She became unconscious. They had to perform an emergency C-section. And, the baby, Courtney and Jason's baby didn't make it," Carly whispered as Lorenzo pulled her into a hug.
Carly broke down. "I was the godmother, Courtney and I went shopping together for the baby, everything was yellow because she wanted to be surprised. The baby was a girl. Jason wanted a girl…"
"Carly, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry," Lorenzo soothed as he stood up, making Carly stand with him as he gently rubbed her back up and down and smoothed her hair away from her face. Her tears were making it stick.
"Courtney was so excited for this baby, and Jason, you should have seen him… I've never seen him like that. He's never, just shut down. I'm afraid that he's shutting down…" Carly sobbed as Lorenzo continued to wipe away her tears.
"I know how hard this is going to be on your family. Especially Courtney, I know I don't know her well, but I do know how badly she wanted this baby. I understand," Lorenzo said softly as he rested his chin on Carly's head.
"She's going to be so devastated. So devastated…" Carly kept herself inside Lorenzo's comforting embrace, realizing how helpful he was being and how caring.
"Let me know if I can do anything to help you or Courtney okay?" He told her.
"Thank you, thank you so much," Carly whispered into his chest.
"Carly, I'd do anything for you," Lorenzo said, and Carly just knew that it was true.
Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever in you, forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you, forever in me
Ever the same
He was pushing her wheelchair to the room where their daughter was. Jason didn't particularly want to do this, he knew he'd break down. But Courtney seemed determined. He wasn't going to stand in her way. Maybe it would give her some type of closure.
They entered the room and saw the little bed that their daughter was laying in. There was a blanket over her and the card on the bed said, Baby girl Morgan, Born April 26, 2005, Died April 26, 2005. Jason became choked up. Courtney however, got out of her wheelchair and walked over to the bed, lifted the blanket off of the child and looked at her.
She was so beautiful, Courtney thought as she began to sob. Her baby girl, her wonderful, beautiful, sweet child. A life like this didn't deserve to be cut so short.
She lifted up the little fingers, and counted them. There were ten. She counted toes. Ten of them too. Courtney felt her husband come up behind her and put his hand on her lower back. She also felt his intake of breath at the sight of their daughter.
"Beautiful isn't she?" Courtney said, barely audible through her tears.
"Yeah, she looks like you," Jason said as he wiped away the tears from his eyes. He didn't know how Courtney could stand this. He was about to break.
"Thank you," Courtney said as she kissed her daughter on the cheek, moving so Jason could do the same. "Good-bye, it was nice to finally meet you. Daddy and I had been waiting a long time for that," Courtney said as she touched her daughter's cheek one last time before she lifted the sheet back up again and covered her daughter. She turned into Jason and cried until she thought that she would drown from all her tears.
You may need me there
To carry all the weight
But you're no burden I assure
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love.
Author's Note: Whew. I can actually admit for the first time ever, I cried while writing this. Yes, yes I did. I cried like a little girl. The song is "Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas. I hope you all liked it.