Author's Notes: So we're finally there, the Spencer Mansion( well, kind of hovering outside). Lots of death promised next chapter I'm sure, but this is pretty much a set up… please R&R…

also, events based more on the gamecube remake than the original on ps one

When Wesker announced that we were going in after them, I was all bravado and talk. I guessed that it was the right thing to do. But I knew that it wasn't just the same. The only thing was I didn't know why. Not yet, anyway.

As I was sitting in the copter, contemplating the mission ahead of me, I didn't feel scared. I mean, why should I? It was a routine mission, a simple part replacement for the Bravo's copter, then we'd all be on our merry way back to the S.T.A.R.S office, condemned to sift through hours of paperwork like all cops are meant to. I told myself this over and over, convinced myself that nowadays cops didn't get the dangerous jobs that they used to. They were more likely to die of a heart attack than a bullet in the chest…

Mistake number two Redfield, never underestimate a situation. Not when she's there…

Still, at that point I was glad to get out of the office, and relished the opportunity to be in the air, to be flying again.

I loved to fly; it was where I was meant to be.

If Brad hadn't been such a super genius hacker and tech expert, then I'd probably have been sitting at the controls of that helicopter, leading the team into the unknown. And I'd have done it with a shitload more courage than Brad. Brad was alright, really. A bit geeky, an outsider, but Brad was Brad and you couldn't change him. I wouldn't want to change him, not now.

Anyway, it didn't really matter. We were only looking for the downed copter and that wouldn't take long. Hour, maybe two, max. We certainly weren't looking for anything else, we didn't plan it, we didn't set it up like the papers suggested, we simply found it. God knows we didn't want to.

I remember towards the end of the first hour the consistent sound of the copters engine was sending me to sleep. Not proper sleep, but I could feel my senses dulling and my mind switching off…

Then I felt her next to me, her head lying on my shoulder, as the sound of her breathing became deeper as she fought to keep herself awake. Her fingers entwined with mine as I tried to picture myself somewhere else. A beach, a hotel room… anywhere. Somewhere away from the prying eyes of our team-mates, somewhere just for us. Huh, never be able to do that now, there'll never be time for us again. Like there ever was.

So, the scene. Just as I was getting cosy in the copter, feeling completely at ease with her lying next to me, it happened. It wasn't so much the event itself as the feeling I got before it; fear. Actual fear. I was scared, though I didn't know why. Still don't know why. It was probably that gut reaction that I buried deep down, the sixth sense that warned me what was coming. It warned me, and I ignored it. I pushed it to the back of my mind, not relying on myself for anything, not even my own safety. Not even hers. Cause that's what she was for.

Safety.

Security.

My lock-and-key-and-safe. With her sitting next to me nothing could happen, to either of us. That was then, and I've changed. Now I'd embrace the fear. With nothing to lose fear doesn't mean shit to me.

I'm losing track again. Sorry, but I kinda' find it hard to concentrate when I talk about the past. It takes me to places that I don't want to go, places that I didn't want to be in, even then.

Ironic. If I'd listened to myself earlier then I wouldn't have been sat on the copter listening to my fears re-emerging, when I could've been miles away with her, on some sandy beach in Fiji. I would've been safe, free, away from the mess in the first place. I should've listened.

Coulda', woulda', shoulda'. Story of my life.

A second after, barely enough time for me to register my fear in the first place we saw it. Or to be more precise, Brad saw it. Brad saw it cause no-one else was looking'. He shouted out to the back, told us that he could see wreckage in the copters searchlight, and that the place was deserted. I was sure then. I knew I should've trusted my instincts all along.

Instantly I felt her finger leave mine, as she went over to the window and peered down into the darkness. Her face told me it wasn't good. Such… lack of hope, on such beautiful features could never be good, and as soon as she saw the wreckage she knew the same as me. That we were too late.

We didn't know what we were late for, but it was bad, and I was scared, and out of all the things that happened at the Spencer Mansion, I always remember that second the most.

The second she left me, the second I acknowledged my fear. The second it all really started with. Us finding the helicopter.

That second I remember, the next I wish to forget.

Chapter Notes: Sorry its taking so long to get to the mansion guys, but I want to 'create suspense'. Also, if my writing seems to go slightly off topic, it's not me, the character is going loony… ;)

KEEP READING AND REVIEWING! (much appreciated)