Title: Taming Wolves
Author: Rothalion
Summery: Movie verse for the pinky thing. Alexander exacts a harsh punishment after infighting threatens to cause a rift in his chain of command. These guys were always vying for position I think things had to get physical now and again. So here goes this…
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Reviews are always appreciated. I can't improve without them. Thanks
Also thanks to all the new names I have seen in my reveiws. Hope that you enjoy my tales and thanks for your input. The regular folks are not forgotten! Thanks to you guys too. Its just that I have had some new name pop up and I wanted to thank them as well. Thanks to all of yoy for the great input.
Chapter 3
Hephaistion walked slowly across the camp and back toward his tent. He clicked his tongue at the big mangy hill dog that had recently taken to following him everywhere he went. The beast was huge and powerful. Hephaistion had no idea why the dog had chosen to adopt him, but the monster had slept faithfully outside his tent every night for weeks now and followed him around like his shadow. Nearchus had even teased that the dog reminded him of how Hephaistion had skulked around after Alexander when they were boys, even sleeping outside the Prince's door at times. Looking down at the animal he shivered and envied the dog's thick fur, oddly matted though it was. He was cold. Always cold as of late it seemed. The wind blew and he scrunched up his shoulders against its chill, wincing at the pain the motion caused his lacerated back. The light robe was doing little to keep out the chill.
As he reached his tent the look on the squire's face told him that there was a problem. He looked back behind him as if trying to choose another destination but the cold and the lateness of the night changed his mind. The young man assigned to him snapped to attention and looked fearfully at the tired general. Hephaistion shrugged and peered through the narrow opening in the tent flap. Just as he'd figured, Alexander. He shook his head, dismissed the cold boy for the night and after petting the big dog's head he told it to stay, then with a deep breath he pushed aside the flap.
Hephaistion, once inside his tent, chose to ignore the man seated at his desk rifling through his personal correspondences. He walked straight to the clothes rack and traded the light cotton robe for a heavier fur one and then headed for his wine cabinet. Alexander, he thought to himself as he poured two cups, was absolutely incorrigible. The man new no bounds when it came to getting what he wanted, and had no shame.
"You've a letter from your father, Phaistion!" The intruding king said happily as if reading Hephaistion's mail was a completely natural occurrence, and seemingly oblivious to the fact that they'd spoken less than ten words to one another in the two weeks that had passed since his fight with Cleitus and Alexander's hastily dished out flogging. "Aristotle too. Who's Xenos Hephaistion, do I know him? He sends greetings as well."
Hephaistion's shoulders drooped. He was tired and not in any mood for a jovial Alexander. An Alexander who had apparently chosen tonight to finally try and breach the wall that he'd erected around himself after the flogging. It was not as though he was angry with Alexander for the punishment he'd meted out or hurt that he'd been so miserably injured by his friend and lover's hand. It was just that some flicker of realization had been awakened in Hephaistion's mind and more pointedly, his heart. A hint of a doubt. A flicker of a warning. The sense that, in laughing along with the other men that night at the dinner, Alexander was letting him know that he was indeed on the outer edge of the elite group. Untested and mistrusted in his command skills even by him. A trespasser of sorts allowed in only because of Alexander's generosity. Hephaistion shuddered as the sound of Alexander laughing along with Cleitus at his misfortune during the battle replayed in his memory. It had become obvious to Hephaistion that Alexander had been aware of Cleitus' intent to test him and that the king had agreed to it.
"Your father says he is well and sends his love." Alexander paused at the word 'love' and looked questioningly into Hephaistion's tired eyes. He had never before felt so incredibly distant from Hephaistion. In all the years that they had been together they'd always managed to overcome even the most rigorous tests of their faith in one another and now this new and seemingly vast distance terrified him. He hoped the word would spark a glimmer of response from his lover and friend. He was disappointed, the blue eyes betrayed nothing. Continuing on he read further, "he says that the mares dropped twelve strong foals. Four stout colts and eight pretty, long legged fillies. A pretty bay, with chestnut brown eyes that you'd fall in love with on sight. You do love your bay horses you know. He says the apples are…" Alexander paused and smiled broadly, hopefully as he took the cup of wine that Hephaistion offered him letting his eyes send a message of love. " That the apples are sound and sweet just the way that you love them."
Hephaistion groaned. Love; was the man going to drop the word every third sentence or so? He knew Alexander well enough to have seen through the man's ploy. Say it enough and the topic is bound to come up. Maybe, Hephaistion thought, maybe he will just go away. He stared at Alexander's bowed head as he studied the letter and shook his own. Not a chance. Not a chance barring some page bursting in and saying that Darius had been sighted and captured. Hephaistion resigned himself to being stuck with Alexander for the long night. Maybe the dog could run him off. He went to the tent flap opened it and called out the animal's name.
"Ajax, come on in buddy it's cold."
"Ajax!" Alexander's head shot up. "You named 'that' mongrel Ajax! By the gods Hephaistion he's not got the breeding, boy! Just…well look at him." Grimacing at the perceived slight against Homer he pointed to where the dog had taken a lopsided, slouching seat beside Hephaistion's favorite chair. It barred its teeth and snarled a bit at the threatening finger pointed at it. "See, no respect either! Ajax had respect for his leaders."
Getting only a glare from Hephaistion along with another growl from Ajax Alexander relented, sipped from his cup, lifted the letter from Aristotle, and went on as Hephaistion plopped down in his chair and with great care eased himself into a comfortable position trying to save himself the pain of his lacerated back.
"Aristotle says that the herbs you sent are definitely medicinal. That's grand, Phaistion!"
Hephaistion groaned, his annoyance finally loosing itself. "That's charming Alexander. Does he happen to mention whether or not they will work to quickly heal the bitter bite of a whip? Oh, and here," with a smug sneer he held out his left hand showing Alexander the ring on his middle finger, "while your in between my letters come kiss my ring and seal our trust in each other. You do trust in me… don't you Alexander?" The implication of the scathing remark was not lost to Alexander.
Hephaistion half regretted the comment almost as soon as the barb flew from his tongue. Alexander paled and set the letter aside. The concern he'd been feeling about their relationship clearly present in his gray eyes.
"No, I am sorry my love." It was spoken without hesitation and with complete familiarity with the man seated across from him; although the joyful tone of earlier was missing from his voice now. "He thinks them to be more for the stomach and insides. Hephaistion, I…I can make you another poultice and more of my special salve. You have only to ask for my aid but lately you stay so...distant. Where were you tonight, out so late?" He lowered his eyes again to the desk and lifted the letter from Xenos. "So, this Xenos character?"
"Visiting. Just talking to…a friend of sorts." Hephaistion replied his voice an annoyed, tired whisper. He was certainly going to toss the man from his tent bodily if Alexander went down the old jealousy trail again. 'By the gods how many times did they have to rehash that age old argument?' Hephaistion thought to himself.
"You really plan on calling it Ajax?" Alexander again pointed at the dog now leaning lazily up against Hephaistion's leg enjoying the scratching his master was giving its ears and neck. The errant finger earned him another snarl. "It's a bit…grandiose don't you think? You were with Cleitus again?"
Yes he had been with Cleitus again. He sipped from his cup, closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair before replying. "M..hm." When Alexander didn't respond he continued. "So, what does my dear Xenos have to say? Come now if you are going to be my scribe and page at least try and do well at the task Alexander. What word does Xenos send.? I do so miss his company." Yes, Hephaistion thought, let him stew on that. "Oh and before you begin to read it bring me more wine, stoke my brazier and put some water in Ajax's bowl. Don't dawdle I'm chilled clean through and he's parched. Should I have you sent back to your family in Macedon in shame for providing poor service?" He held out his cup in the direction of his desk and Alexander. It wasn't necessary for him to open his eyes to see Alexander's face. He was well familiar with the scowl that he would find there.
After a moment he felt his cup get heavy as Alexander refilled it. Then he heard the rattle of Ajax's bowl as it too was filled and finally the crackle of the brazier could be heard as Alexander stirred it to life and stoked it with fresh wood. He shivered as he felt Alexander gently pull his long hair aside and kiss the ragged old scar on his throat just beneath his right ear. No, he was in no mood for that so pulled away to a more upright sitting position. Alexander sighed with apparent disappointment. Then Hephaistion leaned back again at the gentle touch of Alexander's hand on the top of his bowed head as he stroked his hair. A familiar enough touch and he had to admit he had missed it.
"Relax Phaistion, I'll not bother you with it. Xenos says that he finally received his new flute from Macedon. Flutes Hephaistion, since when do you discuss flutes?"
"He plays, and beautifully too. I grew to enjoy it when we were together before Tyre. When you were… away." He stretched out his long legs causing Ajax to shift and studied Alexander's face. "You know Alexander, Cleitus is an interesting man."
At that Alexander winced, furrowed his brow and downed his wine in a gulp. Xenos, Cleitus, Nearchus never before had Hephaistion sought out the company of so many people.
"Cleitus interesting, Hephaistion?" He sat down in the spare chair across from Hephaistion, pulled it a bit closer and eyed Ajax warily as the dog growled a low rumbling growl and the fur raised up on his neck. "Hephaistion, please send the….the dog back outside. Why does it dislike me?"
"My father always taught me that 'all' animals can sense when a man has raised a whip against another being, be it man or beast. He said they can smell it, the cruelty that is required to wield such a weapon, and will never give their trust to such a one." Hephaistion held Alexander's gaze as he spoke. He hadn't planned the words they just came out. An apt answer for the question and completely true Hephaistion knew. 'Maybe,' he thought to himself, 'I am angry at him for the deed.' He knew he would have to face the difficult feeling before they could move on. He also realized it would be a difficult task.
Alexander stared at the man across from him. He had no words in response to the explanation. He'd heard that very speech from Hephaistion's father, himself, once when they had visited Hephaistion's family's estates. While they were there, Amyntor, Hephaistion's father, had ordered a stable boy beaten with a stout reed and then dismissed for taking a leather whip to an unruly stallion. He'd refused to use the same whip to administer the punishment not wishing to taint his own hands with the weapon's especially wicked brand of pain. Even Hephaistion had been bitterly punished by his normally gentle father when he was thirteen years old. Angry and frustrated he'd whipped a horse with the lunging leashes. Amyntor held nothing back and Alexander had been forced to watch as Hephaistion was struck fifteen times with the same reed that the dismissed stable boy had been punished with two years prior. The King's mouth went dry and he trembled at the idea of Hephaistion never fully trusting him again. In the tense silence only Ajax's slow panting could be heard over the guttering sputter of the coals in the brazier, both accented by the agitated, metallic tip tapping of Hephaistion's ring against his cup.
They sat like that for a long while, Hephaistion's eyes slipping closed off and on as sleep threatened to rescue him from Alexander's scrutiny. After a bit Hephaistion finished his wine and yawning held the empty cup out to Alexander who stood and dutifully refilled it before returning to his seat. Hephaistion knew that Alexander would not just give in and leave. Even if he just went to bed Alexander would insist on staying and insuring that he slept well and then once he'd dozed off, Alexander would crawl into bed and pull him into his arms to insure that he slept warmly. How does one rid themselves of such a tenacious love, he wondered. He shuddered and recalled that Alexander had waited seven months to get what he wanted out of Tyre.
"Alexander, I am tired." He said pinching his newly Cleitus cricked nose between his finger tips.
"Come then, let me get you to bed. I'll see to your back and…"
"No. Just let me go to bed. What is it, Alexander, that you want with me tonight anyway?" Hephaistion pleaded, finally having had enough of the silent stand off. If asking what the man wanted and giving in to him got him in bed and under his warm furs then so be it. He could always be angry with him again in the morning which wasn't, by the look of the light outside his tent, far off. "Just, tell me what you wish from me, and let me get some sleep."
"Cleitus, Xenos, Nearchus…"
"Oh by the gods! Kiss my lacerated ass you childish bastard!" Hephaistion yelled as he stood and hurled his half full cup at Alexander's head showering them both with wine.
With a warriors reflexes the stunned king batted it away just shy of it splitting his forehead open and stood up as well. Ajax jumped to his feet and took up a stance at Hephaistion's side.
"Down Ajax! And 'you' get the…just go! Gods, Alexander it's always the same with you! Your crazed mother was right, you are definitely too much of a boy yet to be a great king. This horse shit of an idea that you always throw out at me after you hurt me…, this jealous shit to mask your guilt…I do not even have the words any longer to discuss it…just…just go!"
"Hephaistion, Hephaistion no! Please just hear me out! Just listen I wasn't going there…I…" He broke off and continued to rub his eyes, trying to rid them of the mildly stinging wine. "I simply…" He tried to keep his voice calm, to counter the anger and despair in Hephaistion's.
Hephaistion cut him off and got in his face. "Nothing, Alexander, nothing is simple with you and by Zeus I am growing damned weary of trying to deal with that! What… are you 'trying' to drive me away? Is that it? With this drivel, this petty jealous horse shit that if you cannot have me then no one can! This is such old and worn out rubbish."
He stalked away and then spun on Alexander again. "Cletus, Alexander, Cletus is the 'only' and I mean 'only' man in your whole accursed army that has any idea what I go through to love you. Only 'he' fully understands the high price I pay and the life I forfeit to be your…your lover. Your royal and eternally scorned sycophant! Love! Happy now? Now that I've said it. 'Love' ! You baited me enough with it tonight Alexander so I grant you your blasted god forsaken wish and bleat out the very word that destroys me…love." He turned and ran his hands through his wine dampened hair hissing as his broken fingers got caught up in the tangled strands. "You, you exhaust me with your desperate love of me Alexander. You…by all that is true just…just let me just love you. Trust me…" He shook his head trying to find words to describe the torment that had plagued him since the flogging. To voice the doubts that now ate away at the years of unconditional love that had always defined their relationship.
"How so Hephaistion? Help me to see it. I want this distance between us to be bridged, Cleitus…I don't see the connection, my love." He stepped forward and grasped Hephaistion tightly by the biceps. "How so?" He winced as Hephaistion wrenched himself free and let loose a pained moan when the motion tore at his ravaged back.
Frustrated and exhausted, Hephaistion punched errantly at Alexander's face, and shoved him away as Alexander continued to try and grab at him. Getting free he continued to scream at him. "My love? My love. Are you mad Alexander! Look at Cle…Cleitus! He loved your father for the 'man' Philip was, with all his heart! Did you know that Alexander? Philip, not the king! Just like me!" He thumped his chest with his fist. "Me, Alexander. We are not that different Cleitus and I! Loved him despite your father's mistreatment of him, and oh Alexander how Philip did mistreat him! With whips and fists and his depraved and never satisfied cock! Cleitus suffered for his love of his king! His love of Philip! Suffered right up until Philip was killed. Suffered at his king's beck and call for a lifetime. He knows the role of being a king's favorite, he alone of 40,000 men knows and understands and recognizes the price I pay for loving you and having your love so readily bestowed upon me. Only Cleitus! Do not begrudge me his friendship out of some senseless, misplaced, unjust and twisted jealousy that you so adamantly insist on never getting over. By the gods Alexander I just want to go to bed! By the gods, Alexander just let me sleep! If you love me Let…Me…Sleep!"
He turned, moved to his bed and sat down heavily. Then with a long sigh he stretched out on his right side facing away from Alexander. The king walked over to the small bed and covered Hephaistion with the extra furs before sitting down on the very edge of the simple camp bed that they'd shared so often. He stroked Hephaistion's hair and spoke quietly.
"I am so sorry to have had to inflict that punishment upon either of you. I cried bitterly for hours afterwards; my heart was broken. I so love you both, Hephaistion."
"It's not so much the flogging Alexander; though I am terrified of you now in some dark corner of my heart. I worry, I think, that I will become Cleitus and you a copy of your father tearing forever away at me with your love. Breaking me apart piece by piece by piece as you grow ever stronger. I fear that this flogging has begun it."
"Never. I despised my father's treatment of his boys and his men you..."
Then in a whisper muffled by fur and exhaustion Hephaistion got to the crux of his pain. "Why couldn't you have just trusted me to do what you had commanded me to do in the battle Alexander, why? Why did you play a party in Cleitus' test. Why did you laugh with them at my pain over losing my men? Why? To realize your lack of faith in me then and after as I fought Cleitus, yes the others have told me what you said, flays my spirit far more and the wounds me far deeper than anything you could have inflicted upon me with that whip Alexander. Goodnight."