Title: Taming Wolves
Author: Rothalion
Summery: Movie verse for the pinky thing. Alexander exacts a harsh punishment after infighting threatens to cause a rift in his chain of command. These guys were always vying for position I think things had to get physical now and again. So here goes this…Hephaistion is in flux. Confused and for the first time in his life doubting his chosen path. He reacts 'oddly'. They are so young and I know that they have been trained for battle and war I think that reality does rear its head for some. They must have moved through many evolutions in their relationship and this is one of them. A bridge they must cross. Power vs. love. Dedication to the individual and to the masses.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Reviews are always appreciated. I can't improve without them. Thanks
Chapter 4
In honor of Searching for and Sowing Oates
Alexander glared at Cleitus across the table. The older general returned the stern look with a crooked , cocky half smile. The entire day up until the afternoon meeting had been plagued with one source of frustration after the other for the young king and his temper was bound by a very thin thread. A recon squad had been wiped out by one of Darius' forward units, a supply train was lost somewhere to the south and three good mounts had to be put down due to some strange ailment and now he'd been forced to hold off his meeting because Hephaistion and Nearchus were late 'again' making it the third day running that the two were to blame for the meeting being held up. He couldn't help but wonder if Hephaistion wasn't doing it just to antagonize him. Ever since the last time they'd been together, and argued in Hephaistion's tent a week prior, the man had been acting oddly. Oddly, that was making light of the situation, Hephaistion had become aloof and animated, cocky and irresponsible. His change in demeanor baffled not only Alexander but all who knew the normally focused young man. Then on top of that there was Cleitus.
Finally laughter could be heard outside the tent and Hephaistion's voice telling Ajax to stay. Alexander remained smugly slouched in his chair with his feet up on the table only shaking his head in disbelief as the two tardy men strolled in as if they'd done nothing wrong.
"Thank you gentlemen for 'finally' gracing us with your presence!" Alexander spat out in a nasty tone of voice.
Neither man flinched, but instead looked at Alexander and resumed laughing as they made their way to empty chairs. Alexander was further incensed when Hephaistion chose to sit next to Cleitus and then leaned in close to the older man so that Cleitus could whisper something in his ear. Hephaistion then looked over at Alexander with a sly smile on his face. Alexander furrowed his brow and sat up straight. Hephaistion's crystal blue eyes were beaming. The smiling blue that Alexander had not seen in them since the flogging. Then Hephaistion began to snicker a little. The sound was too similar to Cleitus' wicked giggle and despite the joy he'd just felt at seeing Hephaistion smile the uncanny similarity was the stroke that set him off.
Standing Alexander slapped his open hands, palms down, against the map table with such force that the carved wooden pieces representing the armies of both Persia and Macedon leaped into the air and crashed back down utterly destroyed. He pinned a still grinning Hephaistion in his glare and screamed at him with his battle voice.
What! What! What is it Hephaistion! What by the gods is so funny!"
Hephaistion sniffled, began to chew his bottom lip and looked sideways at Cleitus who had leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms on his broad chest.
"Well…Alexander…" He began but was overcome by another fit of giggling that both Cleitus and Nearchus joined him in. "Alexander I…"
"What!" Alexander pounded his fists on the table again wiping out any remaining forces with the blow. Cleitus stood and stepped back from the mess.
"I …well it would seem…Majesty that you…" He paused and looked over his shoulder at Cleitus who giggled and shrugged. "Well Alexander you no longer have a standing army my King." Hephaistion too shrugged and together with Cleitus and Nearchus he doubled over in an uncontrollable fit of laughter.
"What, Hephaistion?" Alexander said so calmly and seriously that the rest of the table broke out in fits of hilarity with the exception of Parminion, Cassander and Philotos.
"Well it would seem to me," he chewed his lip again to try and keep from laughing, "that with one mighty wave of your hand," he gestured at the ruined scenario on the big map table, " two hands, you have defeated both the armies of Darius and yourself. Come Cleitus, come Nearchus a celebration is in order! Our work in Persia is complete! Off to my tent. I have plenty of good sweet wine, thanks to your king; since it is he who favors me with such fine bounty. Quickly now, time for the victory party!" He bowed insolently and made to leave. Nearchus and Cleitus followed suit, all three still laughing wildly.
"Stop!" They froze in place but did not turn around. The deep laughter was reduced to quieter giggles. "Return…To….Your…Chairs!"
As one the three performed a perfect about face in exemplary Macedononian unison. What they saw tore down what little reserve they had left. Alexander stood with his hands on his hips, head cocked to the left, his face red with fury and trembling with rage. Normally the sight would have stricken the men with fear but on this instance all it did was send the three back into a raucous fit of laughter, Cleitus threw his arm around a hunched over Hephaistion's shoulders and Nearchus was driven to tears.
Alexander, seeing that the day was lost, stormed passed the three men and through the entryway. As he stepped out Ajax greeted him with a snarl and Alexander kicked at the dog only to be rewarded with a nip to his heel. Turning around he re-entered the tent and pointing an accusatory finger at a lip chewing Hephaistion, he yelled,
"And you!" Hephaistion opened his eyes wide in a mocking show of fear. "You, better teach that forsaken mongrel some manners or by the gods Hephaistion I will feed him to you as a stew at my next feast!"
Still caught up in the mood, Hephaistion snarled at Alexander and snapped his teeth mockingly at the offending finger. Alexander threw his hands up in complete confusion and disgust and stepping wide of the big dog left the tent and disappeared.
Parminion was the first to recover. "In the name of Zeus, Hephaistion, what has gotten into you boy? Have you gone mad?"
"Into me? Mad? Me, General Parminion? Cleitus, what's gotten into me? The good General Parminion requests a reply."
"Nearchus' good Cretan wine young General Hephaistion."
"Oh?" Hephaistion queried innocently.
"You've no head for it lad." He continued with sad face and a shake of his head.
"No head? Cleitus I've no head? Tell Parminion I have no head. He'll see then what's got into me. Lost my head at Nearchus' "
Cleitus studied the old general who was now standing flanked by his son and Cassander; all three were enraged at the men's behavior and made no effort to conceal it. The others at the table simply sat and waited curious to see what Parminion would do.
Shrugging he nodded toward Hephaistion and spoke, "He has no head, Parminion, no head. What can we say?"
"Well Parminion 'sir' General, I do not know." Hephaistion sputtered out before dissolving into laughter once again. "I guess…Cleitus?"
Cleitus snapped to attention and saluted Hephaistion. "Yes my good General Hephaistion?"
"Would you do me the honor of flogging me for my ill mannered behavior at today's briefing?"
"Honored sir." Cleitus replied with authority.
Then, turning to Nearchus, he extended his hand and took from the man a short length of leather thong. Hephaistion turned his back to Cleitus, lifted his chiton, bent forward a bit and yelped in imagined agony as the older general proceeded to whip him on the ass with the strand.
Parminion and Philotas both screamed in outrage and stormed from the tent, Cassander at their heels.
"Cleitus, Hephaistion?" Ptolemy called to them in a soft voice "Enough my friends. Alexander's in a fit of anger and you tread on hazardous ground with them three. Have some sense fellows, have some sense and know when to quit."
They stopped and looked at the man smiles still broad upon their faces.
"Yes, Hephaistion, Ptolemy is indeed correct." Cleitus said as he tossed the thong over his shoulder and tugged on Hephaistion's arm. "What was that you said earlier about sweet wine a plenty in your tent?"
"After you gentlemen." They saluted the remaining generals and made for his tent the promised wine.
Alexander had returned to his own tent enraged and on the verge of having all three of men flogged. He could not conceive of any reason that could have driven Hephaistion to act with such childish, giddy and disrespectful behavior. It was as though the man had lost his mind and the cause was somehow catching and Cleitus and Nearchus were the newest victims. He'd never not in seven years ever seen Hephaistion behave as he had in the meeting. Not even drunk. Drunk the man generally got somber and only wanted to torture you with his absolutely horrible singing voice. He tossed down three quick cups of unmixed wine and made up his mind to get to the bottom of the mystery. He wondered if he'd destroyed the man's mind with the flogging. What other answer was there? Hephaistion was out of his head. He was acting completely different from the old Hephaistion that Alexander feared ever getting his beloved back. Decision made he stormed from his tent and straight to Hephaistion's. No one was there and the wine cabinet was empty. Resolved he sat down to wait.
Sometime just shy of morning he heard it. Hephaistion singing. While he'd waited for his friend to return Alexander had read and reread all of the man's mail especially the letters from Xenos. The letters worried him. Between the normal pleasantries Alexander sensed a growing desire in Xenos for Hephaistion's more intimate affections. How long would it take for a lonely and lost Hephaistion to respond to the older man's subtle offers? The voice drew even closer and he heard Cleitus tell him to stop that he was going to rouse the very dead with his horrible whining. Hephaistion continued in a louder voice and the tent flap burst open revealing Nearchus and Cleitus bearing up an absolutely besotted Hephaistion.
"Alsander." Cleitus mumbled.
"Cleitus." Alexander replied.
"Xander?" Hephaistion muttered.
"Ma…jes…ty" Nearchus stuttered.
"Leave him. I'll take him from here."
"Hear that Phais…Alsander's gonna 'take' you." Cleitus teased giggling.
"No! Not front of comp…ny. No!" He tried to give Alexander a stern look and wound up snickering. "Zander, I am… a little drunk for taking."
"Leave him." Alexander said again nodding toward the door. Cleitus and Nearchus released Hephaistion and started to stagger out.
"Phais…get taken well my lil friend!" Cleitus added as he left.
"Alexander… sing with me." Hephaistion mumbled as he stumbled half sideways toward Alexander. "Can't hear you Alexander…sing…hear the flutes? Beautiful flutes."
"No more singing Hephaistion; lets get you to bed."
"By the g…gods no!" He yelled. "I…I am still singing. Listen."
"No, Hephaistion you are drunk and need rest."
"Need wine." He replied and tried to turn to his left and walk to his wine cabinet. It ended up more of a sideways stumble. Three steps forward and an two to the right followed by three to the left the a lurch forward allowing him to grasp the sides of the cabinet for support. "Where's my wine? Are you drunk Alex…ander? You…you drank all my w…wine!"
"No, Hephaistion, it was missing when I arrived."
Hephaistion spun around and nearly tipped over. He tried to glower at Alexander but had a hard time even focusing on the man. "Well go fetch us some. You walk can, no?"
"Hephaistion you've had enough for the both of us my love."
Hephaistion reared his head back and laughed loudly. The warm baritone rumbled through Alexander's chest and reminded him of just how much he'd been missing Hephaistion. "For the b…both of us. Yes. But Al…zander only the half a me that's you… was posed to get so drunk." He said sighing as he ran a shaky hand through his long hair. Then he stumbled a step back and as he did his heels caught on the edge of the carpet. He fell straight backwards hitting the floor with a thud. "A…Zander I have f…fallen on my ahhhssh. " He looked piteously up at Alexander with confusion on his face.
"Yes my dear Hephaistion. You have indeed fallen on your ass."
Hephaistion sighed and hung his head. Suddenly it seemed far to heavy for his neck to hold up and a great tiredness was creeping through his muscles. His head bowed head he whispered. "Don't fee…lso well…. Alzander."
"Give me your arm, Phaistion." He reached down toward the man sitting slumped on the floor.
Hephaistion lifted first his right arm then weakly his left. "Which one? Got two Zan. Which…"
Alexander chuckled, grabbed hold of Hephaistion's left arm and pulled him up. He fell forward into Alexander's arms and buried his face against the side of the his neck. Then, as if shot through with new vigor, he clasped his arms powerfully around Alexander and he burrowed his face deeper into the curve of his neck. A shudder racked Hephaistion's body and Alexander tightened his grip in response.
"Hephaistion." He said, his voice cracking with emotion. "Hephaistion."
Hephaistion's knees went a little weak and he clung to Alexander for support. "Alexander. I do, do love you. Miss you so… so much…. Miss 'us'. Just us. Want none …of this. A lie; it was a lie, glory. None. Want…go home. No… more… blood. Taste it. Smell it. Dream it…and dream it and dream it. And…it…drowns me in sorrow." He clung to Alexander as tightly as his drunk arms would allow him.
"Come my love, go to sleep. Come now." He put his arm round Hephaistion's shoulders and herded him tenderly toward the bed.
It took only a moment for him to undress Hephaistion and get him stretched out. He was clammy and Alexander knew that it would not be long before his soured stomach would release its contents. He stroked Hephaistion's damp forehead and coaxed the drunken man to sleep. When his breathing was finally even Alexander undressed and climbed into bed beside him. It was cramped but he twined himself around Hephaistion's form with a loving familiararity.
Just as Alexander was about to doze off Hephaistion twisted and rolled over so that he was facing him; he grimaced at the noxious odor of wine on Hephaistion's breath. To his amazement Hephaistion spoke.
"Al…xander, someday will make you proud, will be…Patroclus for…for you. Will die and ma… make you so proud Alexander. Then they…they won't think me a f….alse Macedonian soldier. A pitied gen…ral. A false lover. A sycho…phant, phant… Think me brave, think me true and not jus king's whor…ore. Die for you. Prove love you. I'm going to be sick…"
Alexander held him as he retched and got him settled in bed a second time. It had been eight months since they'd slept together and Hephaistion, even as drunk as was, pressed himself, with the need of an absolutely forsaken, lonely and desperate man, against Alexander's body. He clung tightly to Alexander even in the depths of his wine induced sleep. Overwhelmed by Hephaistion's desperate need Alexander clutched him and wept silently into Hephaistion's long bronze hair.
Alexander did not sleep, instead he studied Hephaistion's face. So peaceful. So calm. He recalled his lover's words. Blood plagued his sleep. Shuddering at the thought of Hephaistion writhing alone in the grasp of a nightmare he tried to show the sleeper that he was loved and safe by very gently kissing his eyes and his slightly parted lips. Any contact that might remind Hephaistion that he was not alone.
He ran his thumb across the scar on Hephaistion's chin. A fine, thin pale line. Alexander smiled at the sight. It had happened the first time that the two had gotten really drunk together. Fifteen years old and foolish they'd set out into the night with a couple of wine skins and plans to just relax a little in the forest. Hephaistion, while ranting and raving about the lack of love and respect for Patroclus that most men showed, had fallen chin first onto a jagged rock splitting open his chin. Alexander was forced to attempt suturing the wound in the forest with whatever the two could find. Smiling the king was amazed that the scar was as minor as it was.
Then he kissed the scar and indention over Hephaistion's left eye. It was a jagged scar covered by Hephaistion's long hair most of the time. Two inches long and a good quarter inch deep the scar marred his otherwise beautiful face. Alexander was thrown back in time again. They were sixteen years old and Hephaistion and Cassander had been fighting, as Alexander dragged Hephaistion away from the scene they both stopped and turned when they heard his name called out. As Hephaistion spun around he was driven to the ground by a jagged rock slung from Cassander's sling. The blow knocked him out and split his skin to the bone actually chipping it. Alexander had watched over his unconscious friend for two days before he awakened.
Scars and memories. Alexander wondered if that was all that they were. Scars and recollections of home and Pella and gentle times in the shaded woods. He trembled as he pondered the future. There was, he knew, no stopping his advance, no stopping the power he was growing into, and Hephaistion had now admitted to him that it was all too much. All colored in the red haze of blood and death. He knew that moving ahead without Hephaistion was impossible, but did he have the right to possibly destroy his beloved's life in an attempt to achieve their dream?