Author's Notes: We're finally there, at long last! I apologise for any deviations from the game, but no-ones perfect, and for not updating in over a day (gasp! Lol) Enjoy… r&r.

Dd-

That house was the start of it all.

Everything.

We made it there, after being chased by the dogs. God knows how, but we were still alive and for the most part, glad to be safe, tucked away in our temporary fortress. Or so we thought, but we weren't really in the right frame of mind were we? Guess the mountain air did something to us, lulling us into thinking that we were safe. Or the stench or blood…

I say 'we' made it, but that isn't saying much. She was there, along with Wesker and myself. I didn't know where Barry was, still don't know where he was, but he turns up later so that doesn't really matter. What matters is what happened then, at that time.

When we got there it was like everything that had just happened finally hit us, stunning us into total and utter silence while we contemplated the turn that our lives had just taken. We'd just seen dogs, mutant dogs, eating a member of our team. Safe to say it took some contemplation…

If I knew what I was going to see in the future then I don't think I'd have spent as much time mulling over my experience as I did. I didn't see the bigger picture, although I guess I should've seen something coming because that little pang of instinct in the pit of my stomach just wouldn't go away. It kept on nagging and whining like a small child, always repeating the same thing over and over and it wouldn't stop and it kept on going and…

Count one. Instinct doubting starts here…

Bet you think I'm insane now, huh? Too bad. Every insane person has a story; mine's just a little different.

Now, the mansion. We were in shock, but we weren't too dumb to realise that we were knee deep in shit and could do absolutely fuck all about it. Actually, knee deep in shit would've been preferable, but what you gonna do? We were stranded, surrounded, and our copter had decided to take an unplanned detour away from our LZ so that didn't help matters. The 'matters' at hand were beyond anyone's help…

Still, when I looked at her and in her eyes I saw complete and utter surety of the situation, I felt my own fears crumble to ashes. Who could compete with love?

Love isn't an instinct Redfield. Count two…

I know that by now and in a way I knew it then.

A second I looked into her eyes, expressing more that words ever could, the next, my mind was focused, ready to dig myself out of the whole I was in. Ready to dig her out with me.

I can't say I remember the conversation we had, the three of us, but I remember leaving the room through the door to the left to search for Barry. Not that I expected to find him, but I had to look. She wanted to come too, to help, to feel useful, to do something other than waiting around to be fed to the dogs. But I insisted I go on my own, and Wesker insisted she stay…

Count Three. Didn't pick on that one did you?

I didn't. Not initially anyway. You could never tell what Wesker was thinking, not hidden under those shades anyway, and he never really voiced anything with real force. Made it seem more like a request than an order. But I still should've seen it, no matter how well that bastard could hide things. It wasn't like him to… to need anyone. He never requested back up, made it seem like back up weren't worthy to stand beside him so we all got tired of arguing. And then, in that situation he suddenly wanted the support. Needed someone to cover his back.

Bullshit…

And I know it, now anyway, though now is perhaps too late.

I just assumed, naturally, that the situation was getting to him, that he was actually human like the rest of us, that he needed grounding in reality. Needed a person. I didn't count on him already knowing about this shit hole, being part of it, almost being the cause of it. It didn't compute in my mind. So when he requested that she stay and 'secure' the immediate area, I counted on the fact that she was perfectly safe, and in the overly capable hands of our good captain Wesker.

Well, at least you got one thing right Redfield, she did end up in his hands.

I don't want to think about that. We're focusing on what I did; I don't wanna go off track.

Still, when I made my way to the dining I didn't look back to check if she was safe, didn't bother to assume that she could be any kind of danger. As I said before, I tried to focus on the world in front of me, block out anything unnecessary that could cloud my judgement.

This thought followed me as I opened the door to the dining room, leaving her alone with Wesker in the hall behind me. The dining room was no contrast to the elaborate decor of the hall, showcasing elegant golden fixtures and pointless marble statues, all to advertise the apparent skill of the mansion designer. In my opinion, that same designer needed his head fixing cause some of the things he designed wouldn't look out of place in a torture chamber.

At the far end of the room was a fireplace. It stood about four feet high, with the emblem of Lord Spencer emblazoned in golden plating above it. But that wasn't the thing that drew my eye, as at the foot of the fireplace, a pool of drying blood sat. The room stank of it, the smell of the dried blood sticking in the heavy air. I'd smelt blood before, more times than I could count on both my hands, but since then, smelling mere blood would be a godsend. If only it were mere blood…

Her blood. Didn't want to see that.

Not yet.

I wanted to get out of that room, get away. I knew that I was perfectly safe. I was alone, and armed, and secure, nothing was getting in while I had my gun with me. But the room felt wrong somehow, and I knew that I needed to escape. So I made for the door, grasping at the handle like at child would grasp at candy. I wanted to feel normal again, to feel right. If I knew then what was behind that door, then I would've turned back and joined them in the hall, cause since that moment I haven't ever felt normal.

What happens when you're instincts abandon you?

I should know because from that point, I had none…

Dd-

Chapter Notes: sorry it took longer than usual to write this one guys, but I kinda got writers block, and also sory if this chapter isn't great because I was slightly rushed. So, Chris without instincts, what will he do? You'll have to read on (I don't even know yet, so when you find out so will I :) and as always review…