DISCLAIMER: in the first chapter...
A/N: Before you, my dear readers, start taking out the pitchforks and tar, I just want to say I am really sorry it took so long for me to post. I had some trouble with this chap. So, again, sorry.
castironcanine: I know it was cruel to have them meet only to part, but I just had to write the scene with Jarod standing, crying in the rain because of MP. Sorry, just had to get it out of my system. Thank you for the compliments. Hope you enjoy the last few chaps.
leochick: My 100th reviewer! I am still amazed I reached this mark. I am all giddy : )! Also, really glad that you thought it was great... That chap that is. Thank you!
Crazyrussiangal: you know, you weren't the only one to say SO CLOSE. Thank you for sticking with me thus far. Enjoy!
IluvSmallvilleDBZSailormoon: wow, long name! I am rather sad myself that it is coming to an end. But there will be more to come. I will give everyone a mushy, happy ending. Can't help it...
Sirus183: I just love to leave everyone hanging. Including myself. But don't worry...
carestel: patience and all shall be revealed. Yes, J always finds what he searches for and well, he really wants to find MP. SO... Also, I have every intention of posting more stories. My head is full of them and since writing is so much more fun than studying... You jsut wait! Greetings from Brazil, from a german's offspring. Hope you'll enjoy the rest of the ride!
Grace and rev2004: Rewards cometo those who wait...
Gemini-M: soorry. I just couldn't help myself. I will try to behave, but I make no promises...
MissEdythe: Glad you enjoyed, just hopeI don't have to anouncce at the beggining of each chapter that all those weak-hearted should be advised. READ ON
Zipp: thank you! Sorry for the short chapters, but I don't like to mix too many situations on one. They need their space!
andi: ssssssssssooooooooooooooooo sorry for the delay... And soorry again for this one... You'll see why.
NYT: please don't quit on me now! I know new posts are just as adictive as reviews. I'll try to have chap 16 within the week. PROMISE!
WOW, long A/N... All giddy because of that!
Chapter 15: Not over yet...
I saw him...
Hesitated...
Faltered...
He just stood there...
Alive...
Smilling at me...
Her heart was pounding in her ears, the clicking of her own heels echoing in the walls, barely registered in her confused mind. She ran, step after step, with desperate urgency, trying to escape her avid pursuer, as well as her own thoughts. Though a part of her had been esctatic with joy at the sight of him, the rest of her was angry and scared and completely unprepared to face him again. Not after Carthis. Not after Ocee's fireplace. Not after another missed turning point.
So she continued running...
Down the stairs, past the ER crowd, through the double doors and out onto the streets.
Cold air hitting her face, Parker stopped a moment and glanced over her left shoulder, taking the time to catch her breath. Then she turned right, breaking into run once more. Earlier, the fleeing woman had found no parking space near the hospital, beeing forced to park her car two blocks away instead. What had been an annoyance turned into relief as she finally reached her royal blue ride, well out of sight of the hospital doors.
After fiddling with her keys for a few seconds, her fingers trembling, Parker got in. Her legs had barely been inside the vehicle when she closed the door shut. Once safe and away from anyone's view, the nervous brunette sighed. Placing both hands on the wheel, she lowered her head and closed her eyes. She willed her heart to slow down, as she tried to control her breathing. Forehead against black leather, closed lids and misty eyes.
She sighed again...
Parker couldn't shake the sight of him, standing just a few feet away, brown eyes staring intensively at her blue ones. Questions pouring out of him, eager for answers she did not possess herself. She had forgotten how his smile could cause butterflies in her stomach. Or how his mere presence could make her a little weak in the knees. But the hurt look on his face as she staggered backwards, preparing to leave, felt like a spear cutting through her heart, reminding her of all those times when she had broken his. So many times had she wished life had been less cruel with them, had she yearned to find solutions, rather than simple reasons.
She found none...
Reality had no place for happily ever after. She knew that... Had known that for such a long time now. But that didn't stop her from hoping. Maybe someday... So, she had wanted to stay, to step closer to him and let Jarod know she was ready for that turning point. But she hadn't been ready at all. Heart tired of hurting, soul heavy with fear, mind filled with all things which could go wrong... She ran, she left. Like a thirsty man lost in the desert, she too feared that the sight before her was nothing but a mirage.
She shock her head...
Happy endings were nothing but illusions...
God knows what thoughts he had had going through his mind then. All that trouble to disappear and there she was, back in his life, by unkown intervention. He must have been quite surprised... But then again, he had been smilling and hadn't run away. That had confused her the most. She shouldn't have been the one to flee.
She snorted...
Only Wonderboy could turn things so completely upside down.
Lightning in the sky, thunder exploded up ahead, startling Parker out of her revierie. The morning turned out to be grayer than dawn had announced. Before she could put the key in the ignition, rain started pouring from the sky. The water hit the windshield with big splashes, as the car pulled out and disappeared around the corner, carrying the huntress and the prey further and further apart. Within her, another storm raged still, echoeing pain in all directions. And amid the engine's roar, the drops on the glass and the still eratic breathing, the voice of a child rung out, speaking softly in Parker's ear, filling her soul with doubt and regret.
We told you...
Don't run...
Truth is waiting...
Don't run...
Question, disapproval, sadness... Alll in a simple whisper, repeated over and over again... When realization hit Parker, she shock her head once more, denying those words to herself and the world. She had misunderstood the voices and now they haunted her with all the endless possibilities. Leaving had felt wrong, staying had seemed impossible... Turning back and facing Jarod, with all those words which had never been spoken, would have been unbearable.
Still they whispered, urging her not to run. She chose to ignore them this time, though... She wasn't ready and doubt lingered within herself, if she ever would. Running was so much easier than staying.
Denial was so much simpler than truth...
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Melanie Hart got home after twenty minutes of driving through the rain. She got out of her car, not bothering to protect herself from the pouring water and walked slowly the short distance to her door. Her limbs were heavy and she found it hard to even walk. Small clouds formed with every breath she took, hot air condensing in the cold. Her eyes stared forward, unseeing. In a matter of seconds, she was soaked through.
After what seemed like an eternity, she finally closed the apartment door behind her, trying in a vain effort to block out the voices. No such luck. They kept whispering loudly in her ear, shrouding her in absolute sorrow. Tired, dizzy and cold, she leaned forward on the hard wood, placing her head against it. With eyes closed, she breathed in deeply and considered allowing tears to slide down her cheeks. With eyes moist, Parker breathed out slowly and decided she had cried enough to last herself a lifetime.
She tried to block out her inner sense, but they refused to be silenced. Their words could hardly be understood anymore, as they spoke in chaotic disorder. She felt herself going insane. Banging her head against the solid door, atempting to make them disappear, she finally slid down to the floor, her legs too tired to continue holding her up.
She couldn't remember if it had been this horrible when news of Jarod's final departure first reached the Centre. She could vagely recall the tears and Sydney's arms around her, but the rest of that particular memory seemed to have evaporated. So she couldn't decide which one hurt the most. Nevertheless, Parker thought that the retching pain inside her stomach, which felt like a thousand claws were ripping it to shreds, and the agony of her heart, as it broke into a million tiny pieces, were bad enough.
She didn't want to be the kind of woman who fell apart so easily, or who gave up so fast, but this ending had been a long time coming and she couldn't avoid it. No matter how many times she told herself to let it go, her hands refused to obey, clutching it harder with every try...
She sighed...
Even though she had her eyelids still closed, she heard the storm as it continued raging outside. Thunder, raindrops on the window... They all faded into nothingness, though, when she heard a knock on the door. Faint and unsure. Quickly she opened her eyes, focusing all her attention on that single sound, eager to hear it again, convincing her of it's veracity. She dared not believe it was him. For a moment she wished that it wasn't, because that meant having to face him again. Parker didn't know if she was prepared to do that. That moment quickly vanished when the knock sounded again...
But, could it really be him? Could he have gotten there so fast, found her so effortlessly? She had no idea how long had been since she had driven away from him, how many minutes or hours had transpired since entering her new home. Parker longed to find out, to get up and open the door, hoping against hope that it would be him standing on the other side. But she couldn't move, dared not breathe.
All she could think about was his face. All she heard was that knock. All she felt... was cold. Unbearably deep cold. A chill that ran from head to toe and up again, making her shiver. Her teeth were shatering, she noticed, her legs still trembled. But she had to get up. She just had to make sure it was him, before he gave up and left... Again.
Using the door knob as leverage, she managed to stand up. Leaning against the door for a second, willing her legs not to betray her, she wiped away the few teardrops that had been too stuburn to obey her command. She still felt chilly, like her bones were made of ice and her flesh full of snow. Yearning for the cold to disappear, needing it to be gone forever, she sucked in a lung of fresh air and opened the door...
New tears sprung to her eyes and she couldn't prevent them from falling...
The once insistent voices went completely silent...
Up in the Heavens, Angels still cried...
REVIEWS!
Also, sorry for being mean and leaving this on a cliffhanger, but it was pratically unavoidable. I derive no pleasure in seeing you all sigh... Well, maybe a little...
I'll post soon, just as long as I get reviews ( pretty botton to your left is calling out your name)...
See, this is a give and take relationship. I give you updates, you give me reviews...