DISCLAIMER: in the first chapter...
A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you all for the reviews!
amy, Grace, NYT, castironcanine: sorry for the cliffhanger, but sometimes it is necessary. Glad your all enjoying this as much as I did writing it. Here is chap 16!
Jar-Par Fan: contrary to popular belief, begging really does work! I thought I posted rather fast for such a long chap, but a week is longer still for a reader in waiting... So, SORRY!
rev2004: thank you for dropping a note. Hope you continue enjoying this...
phi4858: tension is what keeps tour heart barely beating, while you wait for the next line. I love that! So sorry for that...
Gemini-M: you have walked with me during this journey and it is coming to an end. Hope to go out with a bang. Thank you for the compliments, my shy ego apreciated it!
MissEdythe: turning red from head to toe, which actually happens with me> thank you...
Kharma: glad to see that someone enjoys cliffhangers as much as I do. Seven days and here is chap 16!
Annette: I am mean, but not that much... Hope you like mush!
sirus183: you reviewed, I uptaded! Was that fast enough or you feel betrayed?
Crazyrussiangal: finally there... The suspense was agonizing but all worth it! Hope you enjoy this one!
IluvSmallvilleDBZSailorMoon: thank you! I can't stop smilling when I getreview such as your...
NOW, I would like to dedicate this one to TASSYA, friend of mine who pintched in her two cents and made this better than the original draft. THANK YOU!
Chapter 16: Desperate search
Life is a funny thing...
It's full of surprises...
And moments...
Of sadness...
Of joy...
Of desperation...
When all I want...
Is that little something...
Worth searching for...
It might have been hours, it could have been minutes, Jarod didn't know. His sense of time seemed to have vanished, as he lost himself in thought. His eyesight was blurry, his hair matted down, his clothes all wet. The water continued surrounding him from all directions, falling from the skies, dripping from his body, rolling down his cheeks. The adrenaline pumped into his veins during his frenetic pursuit was slowly dissipating, leaving him numb and tired.
Sigh...
So tired...
His had not been an easy existence. Since the age of six, Jarod had known the meaning of evil, like no child should ever have to experience. There were memories he'd rather not have. There were pains he's rather not remember. But then, there were kind faces, beacons of light, that managed to shine through the darkness, making all else insignificant. They were friends he was glad to have met...
She was one of them...
Parker was the first girl he could recall meeting. The first to kiss him... And the very first to break his heart. The love he had felt for her had been pure and uncorrupted by the world or the Center. He had wanted it to last forever. However... Time has no patience and no mercy. It is cruel and after her sudden departure, slowly transformed the feeling within him into bitterness. His young mind had known the meaning of goodbye. His naïve heart, though, had refused to accept her silent adieu.
He had wanted to believe she would some day return. That she would eventually find her way back. But as his features gradually changed on the reflecting surface of the simlab's glass doors and as the eyes that stared back at him lost their innocence, he lost hope. It stopped mattering. Even if she someday returned, he had grown beyond recognition...
So he had chosen his most beautiful memory of her and had tucked it away at the far corners of his heart, where no one could taint it with darkness. Jarod had needed to keep the image of her beautiful smile far away from everyone's sight... Including his own. Because remembering her turned out to be more painful than any kind of torture Raines could inflict.
As the years turned into decades, pretending became who he was, instead of being what he did. So, pretending not to miss her, turned out to be quite effortless. Maybe more than it should have been.
And just when he had been ready to move on, away from the the eastern coast, they had chosen to bring her back into his life. Every single lie he had forced himself to believe during her absence, turned into grains of sand and was washed away by the Atlantic Ocean reflected in her eyes. Tall, angry, bitter and beautiful, there she stood, aiming a gun at his head. He had tried to avoid it, and yet, all those repressed feelings resurfaced. She might not have been the little girl he remembered, but that girl still existed within her... He had caught the faintest of glimpses, buried in blue.
So he called every once in a while...
Just to hear her voice.
And he sent gift after gift...
Trying to remind her of the past.
But the love he had had as a child was nothing like the one he felt for her as an adult. He discovered, among candies and novelties, an insatiable yearn in his heart. At first, he had been unable to comprehend it, because it went against everything his much sought after brain could grasp. It had no logic or reason... It could not be catalogued or described.
It just was...
So he had worked hard to fill the void within. He had helped others, had fought Hell and had searched for those who had loved him first and those willing to love him last. Nothing, however, seemed to fit. Nothing could cover up the gaping hole in his heart or satiate the longing in his soul. And late at night, when the nightmares prevented his from sleeping and silence seemed complete, he heard the echoes of pain, mocking him and his inability to find it... Whatever 'it' was.
That is, until Carthis happened.
What had been denied for so long suddenly became visible on the almost deserted Scotland island. No reality to stand in the way. No reminders to help sustain the façade. She had been the missing piece... And he had been able to realize it there. Because, for a moment or two, the hole had been filled. Nothing had ever felt so right, so perfect. It had actually amazed him... How in sync they could be. High in the euphoria of her presence, he had been caught off guard and did not see the powerful hand of the Center descending between them.
In less than a day, Fate had given him bliss and had take it away. Quickly the void had returned, cruelly ripping at his insides. Nothing had been more agonizing than her pulling away. He had offered her a turning point and she had said no...
Twice.
Tired of waiting and resigned to the fact that it was not meant to be, he had taken the first opportunity to leave. And that had felt right too... A chance to start over, away from the Center and the memories. It had seemed to be working. Until, quite unexpectantly, he saw her again... And it all rushed back to him. The yearn, the love, the need to hold on forever. But, apparently, she had disagreed. Breaking the rules she had so stubbornly chosen to play by, Parker ran...
This time, though, he had refused to let go...
Because, for once in the last five years, he let his heart do the thinking...
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Thunder clapped in the distance.
Lightning illuminated the skies once more.
He wasn't sure which one snapped him back into reality, nor did he care. The only thing that mattered now was finding her, before she disappeared. There had been urgency in her steps and he needed to reach her before it was too late. Before he lost her for good.
Filled with renewed purpose, that came only with desperation, Jarod turned around, faced the ER doors and put those genius gears within his head to better use than self pity. Suddenly, his mind cleared, the sight of Miss Parker resurfaced and he noticed, for the first time, that Andy had been standing beside her.
A grin graced his wet lips as he ran back inside. Jarod took little notice to the stares or his soaked up clothes or to the cold he should be feeling. No, his entire beeing was focused on the search for her. On his need to see her, to hold her. On his wish to kiss her... To feel her lips against his once again.
He had to find her...
Convince her they belonged together...
Somehow...
He climbed the stairs two at a time, his mind filled with all the possibilties and in his haste, he slipped on the final step, falling face first. Before he could hit the ground he softned his landing by placing both hands in front of himself. Instead of that stopping him, it merely slowed him down. Barely taking a second to catch his breath, Jarod got back up and openned the door to the second floor. Looking right and left, he spotted Andy, as she was leaving Angela's room. Combing his hair with his fingers to clear them from his eyes, he let out a sigh of relief.
In a flash, the distance separating him and the information he desired to possess, shortened. Finally reaching her side, Jarod placed both hands on either one of her shoulders. In the first attempt to ask his friend, air wouldn't leave his lungs. So he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, letting his head fall forward. Trying again, the pretender looked back up.
" Andy, what... What was the name of that woman who was here before? You know, the tall brunette." Nurse Owens stared at him, surprised and amazed at the intensity of the doctors gaze. Deep, dark, brown orbs questioning, begging her for an answer. Andrea was mesmerized.
" Andrea, c'mon, tell me you know her name?" the desperation present in his voice and evident on his eyes snapped her out of the trance she had been in. She didn't know the history behind this man, nor did she understand his connection to the woman she had just seen running away, but Andy could not deny such a heartfelt plea.
" Melanie... uhn... Her name is Melanie Hart. I don't know where she lives, but... " Before she could finish, Jarod dashed away, leaving in his wake a very confused and an extremely curious nurse. " She was the one who saved Angela!" Andy shouted after Jarod, hoping he had heard her, as she saw him disappear around the corner.
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The drive to his apartment usually took ten minutes, but Jarod Wilks managed to complete it in less than five, by breaking every single traffic law in NYC. He didn't allow his thoughts to wander during that time, repeating her name over and over in his mind, like a true mantra.
Melaniehartmelaniehartmelaniehartmelaniehart...
The run from the car, carelessly parked, practically blocking the street, to his apartment was made in daze. With shaky fingers, which refused to remain steady, Jarod attempted to unlock the door. It took him two tries and an enormous amount of self control to open the door and not knock it over. Finally inside, he ran to his living room, sat on the leather couch, which creaked when Jarod's soaked up jeans made contact, and pulled the gray laptop to himself.
The minute and a half it took him to connect the computer to the phone line and to bypass the security firewalls on the New York Police Department's mainframe, seemed to take an eternity. Seeing her name on the online report staring back at him made his heart flutter. But what allowed him to breathe normally again was spotting her home address.
A moment to memorize his ultimate destination, another to leave his apartment and Jarod was on his way... A man on a mission. He didn't hear the honks in his wake, nor the water still falling from the skies. All he could think of was getting there on time, desperately hoping she hadn't already left.
It was time to put the past where it really belong. Time to work out their differences and shoot for a happy ending. No matter how impossible it had seemed. No matter how improbable it could be. The Center didn't control them anymore.
No more running...
No more chasing...
No more denial...
Jarod pressed down harder on the gas pedal, making the needle on the velocity's panel jump like crazy. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, turning his knuckles white. His shoulders were hunched with tension and there was a loose strand of dark, wet hair covering his eyes, which stared up ahead, unblinking.
There weren't many cars brave enough to venture outside under such precarious weather conditions, so the street stood nearly deserted, baring no obstacles to Jarod's erratic driving. The clouds up in the skies blocked any ray lights from breaking through and the morning had turned so dark, that night seemed to have arrived ahead of schedule. But Jarod was so intent on reaching Parker, he barely registered anything through.
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It had been easier to find her apartment than the pretender had anticipated. After only fifteen minutes, Jarod pulled up behind a royal blue car and killed the engine, pulling the keys out of the ignition. But instead of getting out, he just sat there, gazing intensively at the windows in the forth floor of the building before him, trying to guess which one would be hers. His fingers fiddled with the round key chain, insecurity washing over him. He had been so frantic to find her, that his mind had failed to consider the whole thing through... Jarod had no idea what to say to her. No words, no idea, nothing. His mind was a complete blank.
Wonderboy had been rendered speechless...
For a single second he considered giving up, but he soon discarded such an absurd thought. After everything they had been through, leaving would've been the cowardly thing to do. So he decided to be brave and get it all over with, before he had time to change his mind once again. Breathing in deeply, in an attempt to oxygenate his reluctant and uncooperative legs, Jarod threw the door open and quickly exited the car, making his way through the rain.
The pretender reached the entrance hall, climbed the four flight of stairs and walked through the long corridor, glancing at each door as he passed them, looking for the golden forty-five, hanging on the wooden door. After each wrong number, his heart tightened a little more. With each step he took, the air got a bit colder. The closer he got, the smaller he felt.
Finally the pretender stopped in front of the last one, raised his hand up, forming a fist and... Hesitated. Like an unseen force holding him back, Jarod couldn't bring himself to knock. So he just stood there, unmoving, finally feeling the cold, chilling his bones and making his throat raw.
He swallowed...
Sighed...
With eyes shut, he lowered his head and knocked lightly. The sound emitted by the solid wood was faint and barely audible. Chin still touching his chest, he waited for an answer. He dared not even breathe, eagerly hoping to hear Parker on the other side. A breath, a sound... Anything at all.
Nothing...
When no answer was forthcoming, Jarod concluded that the knock had been too low and she had not been able to hear him over the sound of the water hitting the glass windows. So he knocked again, still a bit unsure, but a little stronger this time. The answer was almost immediate. Something inside her apartment cracked, making the pretender's head snap up, startled, eyes wide open. Excitement surged through his body like an electric bolt.
His hope, however, was rapidly shot down by the horrible silence which followed next. The door did not crack open, nothing moved, no one spoke... Even the air seemed to be at a stand still. But Jarod wasn't prepared to back down. Filled with sudden boldness, which had been absent a moment before, he made a move to knock again.
He needn't have bothered...
Before his knuckles even touched the door, it flew open, revealing a very wet, if not less beautiful Parker. Her eyes were a little red around the edges, like she had been crying and her hair was plastered to her head, much alike Jarod's own state. She had her left hand resting on the doorknob, while the other hung loosely by her side.
The prey lowered the hand which had been about to knock and stared, mesmerized, at the woman before him. He wanted to throw his arms around her and quietly whisper her name. Her first name, the one confided in him and which he had never dared repeat aloud. But he didn't, couldn't. Not while her eyes continued to pull him under a spell. They were filled with so much emotion, floating right on the surface for the whole world to see, that Jarod found himself unable to turn away.
No façade, no protective stand, no ice cold glare...
Just her, pure and perfect.
Jarod had never loved her as much as he did at that moment...
They stood there, gazing at one another, no words to be spoken. The blue ocean meeting dry land, like waves of emotions hitting the sandy beach. And then, catching them both by surprise, Parker took a step forward, crossing the TREADHOLD and flung her arms out, embracing him tightly. She buried her face on his shoulder, hands gripping his soaked up shirt and breathed in the masculine scent of him.
After the initial shock had passed, Jarod reacted, closing his arms around her waist, fiercely hugging her back. He felt her breathe against his chest and her hot breath on his neck sent Goosebumps up and down his spine. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt butterflies in his stomach. Finally he felt complete, as he stood there, drowning in the essence of her.
Together, at last...
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Time lost all meaning, as they continued holding each other. Decades of longing, years spent on stupid games and missed opportunities dissolving at last, by the still pouring rain. A storm that only raged outside. No more anger.
Lifting her head out of her beloved's neck, Parker faced him again, though she did not allow their bodies to part. Her arms rested on his shoulders, her breasts were still pressed against his. She noticed, contently, that they were breathing as one, completely in sync with each other. With her lips barely a few inches away from his, she gazed deeply into his caring eyes, trying to memorized its every single aspect, wishing this moment would last forever.
Glad to finally be in her arms, where he truly belonged, Jarod traced her face with his index finger, drawing a picture of her in his mind, almost afraid to blink and see it all disappear... it had happened so many times before. So, needing to reassure himself and above all else, desperate to tell her all that had never been said, Jarod parted his lips, took in a new lung of fresh air and prepared to speak.
"Mel..." The silable was the only thing he could mutter. The rest of his sentence was cut short by Parker's finger on his lips, hushing him. She wore a dazzling smile, her eyes sparkled. The enamorated woman brushed a dripping lock of hair behind his ear, delicately, all previous doubts gone. At that moment, she couldn't think of a single reason they shouldn't be.
"I know." She whispered, slowly leaning forward. When she was only half an inch away, Parker stopped, allowing him to take the final step. After all the patience he had had with her over their turbulent relationship, she felt it was the least he deserved from her.
She had to wait only a millisecond before Jarod's lips crashed against hers. The kiss was intense, filled with passion and need. Their bodied orbed closer to each other, trying to merge into one. And through the loud silence surrounding them, they communicated all those things which they had been unable to say before. The love, the need, the apologies and promises for the future. There were no need for empty and meaningless words.
Their feelings were beyond that...
When air failed them, they were forced to break the kiss apart. Their breathing was erratic, yet they still smiled content smiles, as they leaned forward, resting their foreheads against each other, giddy with absolute bliss. Nothing in the world matter at the moment. Just them, in the end, together at last...
Parker had been right...
No need to say
What could not be verbally spoken..
After all...
They already knew...
REVIEW, REVIEW!
This was my longest chapter yet. And though I feel sad to see it finished, I feel this is a great ending to SBTIO. I know there are things I left on the open, concerning Syd, Lyle and Raines, but all that belongson a sequel, I will eventually write.
Hope you all enjoyed their smiles, just like I promised, and hope you will all like this clousure/finale. Write me please!
This was an absolute pleasure to write, even when the muse came during math class sometimes. I would like to thank you all who reviewed, once, twice or every chapter. I wouldn't have made it without you.
tear in the corner of my eye...
Thank you for everything!