Sorry, this one isn't actually all that humorous. But I guess I'm not exactly in the mood for humor. Still, I like it nonetheless.

"Ahh, Sir Hellsing. Please, step this way."

Integra was staring at the wall, a pensive expression on her face. "It looks like there's something missing here. Did you remove a picture?"

"The frame broke," Death replied. "I took the picture down until I could get a new one."

Integra shrugged and followed the Grim Reaper. She sat in the chair as Death looked over his tools.

"You mentioned over the phone that there was a specific reason for this visit?"

Integra nodded. "I have a ball to attend."

"I was under the impression that you were not one for social functions?"

Integra sighed. "Some things cannot be avoided."

Death nodded. "I understand, now let us begin." He looked at Integra in the mirror for a moment, then at a painting he had hanging on the wall behind him. "I wonder… yes. It just might work. Sir Hellsing, would you be so kind as to remove your glasses?"

Death floated off as Integra removed her glasses. "Do you happen to have prescription contact lenses?" he called back.

"I do," Integra replied, "But I don't like using them."

"Well," Death said, returning with some black hair ribbons. "If you would be willing to bear with them for one night, I believe this could work." He took her hair in the back and pulled it into a pony-tail. "Yes, I do believe that could work quite well if I trim it a bit. What color dress will you be wearing? So that I know what color ribbon to order for you?"

"Black," Integra responded. She twisted around in her seat. "In fact, it's very similar to the dress that woman is wearing."

Death stared at the painting. "Oh, really?"

Integra nodded. "In fact, that woman bears a remarkable resemblance to me. Who is she?"

"One of my former clients from centuries and centuries ago."

Integra inspected the painting closer. "Perhaps she was one of my ancestors?"

"I highly doubt that, Sir Integra. I highly doubt that indeed."

"What was her name?"

"Lisa."

"No last name?"

"…None that I was aware of. At least, until her marriage."

"And then?"

"… I'm afraid that it has slipped my mind. It was an awfully long time ago."

"You're lying to me," Integra said, "I could make Alucard make you tell me the truth."

"All that for the name of a woman long since dead, Sir Hellsing? What would the point in that be?"

Integra shrugged, then turned back to the mirror. "Let's begin," she said.

Death nodded. "I assume your escort will be wearing black as well?"

"I suppose. Though I may have to force him out of the abominable red coat."

Death was silent for a moment. "So, the Master is taking you?"

Integra nodded. "As I said before, some things cannot be avoided."

"Indeed, Sir Hellsing. What point is there in resisting the inevitable? Why don't you go ahead into the next room and we'll wash your hair. I'll be along in a moment."

Integra stood up, put her glasses back on, and walked out of the room.

Death turned around and stared at the painting again. "I wonder… is it worth trying? Should I cross over and ask you? Or perhaps, I should leave you to your rest. Yes, I think that would be best course of action. After all, does not fortune favor the brave? Though as I recall she also had a fondness for rocky road ice cream." Death shook his head and waved a hand as he left the room. A shadow fell off of the bottom of the painting where it had been obscuring a plaque.

"Lisa Fairenheights Tepes. Devoted Wife and Loving Mother."