Disclaimer: I don't own WHR or the Klondike bar thing, but I do own Kira, Kita, Adam, Midnight, Sakura and Squall. And be careful, Amon's pissed, I think I did something wrong.
Amon: Gee, ya think! (hobbles off, trips on a rock and falls flat on his face)
AAOTD: You need some help there Amon?
Amon: Mo tnamk os, bigch.
AAOTD: ??? Just read the story while I feed Robin some sugar and help Amon get back to the hospital.
Robin: What is this?
AAOTD: Candy, try some, it's good.
Robin:…OK.
AAOTD: This is the 100th review special I told you I'd post if I'd get this far.
What Would You Do… For a Klondike Bar?
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Amon: (using crutches and bandaged up, weakly) Hi. I'm Amon Nagira, and the evil people at Good Humor - Breyer's Ice Cream company have hired me to do a series of commercials to bring back the old "What would you do for a Klondike bar?"… uh… commercials… using the other WHR characters and ones created by my Angel of the Darkness. To do this, they sent me, Amon Nagira, out with boxes of Klondike bars as well as a cameraman. You are about to witness the results of my torture. The author and I are both not responsible for any mental scarring psychological damage, or any physical side effects from laughing too hard, and will not compensate you for any damage done to electrical equipment due to laughing so hard you snort out a liquid and short something out. Thank you and enjoy, you sadistic SOB's. AND LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I QUIT, GET A NEW MUSE AAOTD!!! (hobbles off)
Commercial Attempt #1: Kira
Amon: (holds up a Klondike Bar) Kira, what would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?
Kira: …Dunno.
Amon: Would you… moo like a cow?
Kira: No.
Amon: Would you… bark like a dog?
Kira: No.
Amon: Would you… cluck like a chicken?
Kira: …what the hell is up with all the farm-animal references?
Amon: …Uh… well, what WOULD you do for a Klondike bar then, huh?!
Kira:…I…don't…know…can't…resist…kleptomaniac tendencies…YOINK! (snatches Klondike Bar and runs off laughing evilly) MUHAHAHAHA
Amon:…O…kay… O.o
Commercial Attempt #2 - Yurika Dojima
Amon: Dojima! What would YOU do… for a Klondike bar?! (holds one out)
Dojima: …I don't know.
Amon: Would you… moo like a cow?
Dojima: (eyes get big and teary) ARE YOU SAYING I'M AS FAT AS A COW?!
Amon: No! No! Um…would you…bark like a dog?
Dojima: ARE YOU SAYING I'M AS UGLY AS A DOG?!
Amon:…NO! Uh, uh, would you cluck like a chicken?
Dojima: NOW YOU'RE CALLING ME A CHICKENHEAD?!
Amon:…What the hell does that mean?
Dojima: YOU'RE CALLING ME A HOE! A FAT, UGLY HOE! (runs off crying)
Amon: (blink blink) Uh…
Commercial Attempt #3 - Lenne
Amon: (holds up a Klondike bar) Lenne, what would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?
Lenne: Lenne would get a dollar and buy one. (skips off)
Amon: ………… There is something seriously wrong with that girl.
Lenne: Lenne heard that!
Commercial Attempt #4 - Squall
Amon: Squall, what would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
Squall: I think the real question is, "What would the Klondike bar do for ME?" You see, Amon, it's all about keeping your priorities straight. You gotta look out for numero uno.
Amon: Okay…
Squall: And if the Klondike bar would somehow get me fame, women, power, and/or money…well then, I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR IT. I'D EVEN ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT AND SELL OUR MILITARY SECRETS TO CHINA. (foams at mouth)
Amon: O.o (edging away) Right, right…Uh…HEY LOOK!!! SAKAKI'S FLIRTING WITH SAKURA!
Squall: THAT BOY'S DEAD!!! (turns and searches) Amon: (runs off)
Commercial Attempt #5 - Touko
Amon: Okay, Touko, what would you do for a Klondike bar? (holds out a Klondike bar)
Touko:…Anything. And…Amon… I do mean… ANYTHING. (leers at him)
Amon: ………(edges away)
Touko: Wait! Don't run! I'm just lonely! A woman needs some attention too, you know!
Amon: …(runs away)
Commercial Attempt #6 - Haruto Sakaki
Amon: Sakaki, what would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
Sakaki: Klondike bar? Man, I'd kill for one of those.
Amon: O.O (shoves a whole box into his hands) Takeitalljustpleasedon'thurtmeidonthaveanymoneywellfiftycentsbutI'mtoosexyhotandihaven'tevenfinishedbroodingyetsoi'mnotreadytodie!!! (runs off)
Sakaki: O.O Oookay…Uh…thanks…I think… Did he just take me seriously? I was only joking.
Commercial Attempt #7 - Kita
Amon: Kita, what would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
Kita: I'd beat up Midnight and take it from him. Amon: …Okay. Kita: …In fact, I'd KILL HIM for a Klondike bar…
Amon: Right, right…
Kita: I'd shove his bloody face into a concrete wall, break a bloody metal trashcan over his bloody head, pour gasoline on him, make a flamer thrower appear out of no where using my craft, use it to burn him up, then take his extra crispy, undead corpse and tie it up like a piñata and have little kids, including myself and the rest of the STN, beat him up with a barbed wired, metal baseball bat.
Amon: O.o Here… you just… take it. (hands her the Klondike bar)
Kita: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Amon: There is something seriously wrong with all of the author's characters.
Kita: I know. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Commercial Attempt #8 - Miho Karasuma
Amon: Now, Karasuma… what would you do… for a Klondike bar? (dangles a Klondike bar) Karasuma: Whatever you want me to, sweetie. (raises eyebrows suggestively)
Amon: ………(edges away)
Karasuma: Wait! Don't run! I'm just lonely! A woman needs some attention too, you know! Amon: …(runs away)
Commercial Attempt #9 - Zaizen
Amon: Okay. Zaizen, what would you do for a Klondike bar?
Zaizen: Walk to the freezer and get one.
Amon: …Uhh…
Zaizen: Are we done here?
Amon: Yeah. Zaizen: Okay then. walks off
Commercial Attempt #10 - Sakura
Amon: So, Sakura, what would you do for a Klondike bar?
Sakura: I'd teach an accident attracter hunter Kenpo.
Amon: Uh, aren't you already doing that?
Sakura: Yep. NOW YOU GIVE ME ONE!
Amon: Okay. (hands her a Klondike bar)
Sakura: (Hands him the one bar and snatches three boxes from him.) MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Now I can make money by selling these clearly stolen Klondike bars to unsuspecting little children. MUHAHAHAHA!
Amon: O.o AAOTD, there is something very wrong with all of your characters.
AAOTD: It's their parents fault. They were smoking something during pregnancy.
Commercial Attempt #11 - Nagira
Amon: Alright now. Nagira… what would you do for a Klondike Bar?
Nagira: …blackmail.
Amon: Wha? Nagira: You know, Amon, I DO still have that fourth-grade school play on tape… Amon: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nagira: Nobody has to know you played the-
Amon: FINE! (hands him the Klondike bar, grumbling) Nagira: n.n Sankyuu Amon! (starts eating it)
Commercial Attempt #12 - Michael Lee
Amon: Hey Michael! What would you do for a Klondike b-
Michael: FOOOOOOOOOODDD!! (runs at Amon)
Amon: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! HERE! TAKE IT ALL! JUST DON'T EAT MEEEEEEEEE!!! (throws Michael a box of Klondike bars and runs off)
Commercial Attempt #13 - Midnight
Amon: Okay, Midnight, what would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
Midnight: This. punches Amon in the stomach
Amon: (doubles over, wheezing)
Midnight: (takes Klondike bar and calmly walks off like nothing happened)
Commercial Attempt #14 - Adam Wicca
Amon: (holds up a Klondike bar) Adam, what would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
Adam: … Since I can't find any…(makes a hand signal and undead vampires, witches under a spell and werewolves beat the crap out of Amon, one of them taking the Klondike bar and handing it to Adam) That.
Amon: (KO'd, Knocked out)
Commercial Attempt #15 - Sugar-high, hyperactive Robin Sena
Amon: (using crutches now, holds up a Klondike bar) Sugar high hyperactive Robin Sena, what would you do for a Klondike bar?
SHHARobin: OMG! You're offering me a Klondike bar?! That is soooo sweet of you Amon-chan! Amon, I mean you're always inconsiderate of other people and that's why I like you and um you like me too? Right or else there wouldn't be so many A/R fanfics now would there and OMG are you going to ask me out now huh?
Amon: O.o Here. Just take it and go away. (hands her the Klondike bar and hobbles away)
Thanks to the following peoples who have reviewed my story and there should be a new chapter up when my writer block goes away:
balletanimerose, shan, DarkAnjil4eve, Beautiful Witch Hunter Robin, mylehia, Aisling Niamh, ,me, bbre32, LC WOLF, rin, OneHellkat, Cali1043, kten have claws, Hexes, busohwe, isis, Emma, Faye-Valentine-bebop, Kitara-Kama, angel-girl761, White Wolf 142, Digitally Nami, Ryui and Gokuru-chan, sesshie's girl, WolfGoddess, charice, AngelD, Yuna of Paradise, manga girl234, CrazyFemaleDragon, Lee, empress of hell, WHRfan, i think you know, Sadako-No-Youkai.
All you guys reviewed at least once. Well, hopefully I can have a new chapter up by next week but ideas are welcomed. Anyone here read my other story called Love You Forever? If so, I...kinda ran out of ideas for that too and it's sooooooooo hard keeping them ic.