"I agree, the Fifth is undoubtedly his finest work, but I have a certain personal attachment to the Third."

Schrödinger fidgeted nervously in his seat. This was starting to really creep him out, which was saying a lot for someone who lived in a secret South American base populated by a thousand vampire Nazis.

He still wasn't sure if Death was actually having a conversation with the Captain, or was just talking to himself in order to unnerve Schrödinger. Which Schrödinger wouldn't put past the Grim Reaper. He got the distinct impression that Death was still annoyed about him breaking that potted plant.

"Well, I suppose one could argue that the First is the most important."

Music. Schrödinger was sure they were talking about classical music. The Captain would often hang around in the Major's room and listen to classical music with him. Though "hanging out" was probably not the correct word for it. The Captain never "hung out" anywhere, and probably never had. Wherever the Captain was, he loomed.

Schrödinger often wondered if the Captain had loomed as a child. Did he have that scary "Captain Stare"? Could he cow his teachers with it?

"I'm not going to judge you on why you have it, I was just mildly surprised that you had it. But if it's a present, that makes sense."

Schödinger decided that the Captain probably could scare teachers at that age, but didn't. Much like he could scare the Doc and the Major if he tried, but didn't.

"I don't understand what they see in them, honestly, but your effort to reach out and try to connect with him is truly commendable."

Okay, so maybe he couldn't scare the Major, but honestly, what was the fat man afraid of? He didn't really seem to fear much of anything.

Schrödinger had, by this point, successfully tuned out the entire conversation. It was really boring anyway. What fun was there listening to a one-sided conversation?

Okay, so maybe listening to the Major and Doc talk to themselves was fun, but that wasn't so much listening to one-sided conversations as it was listening to ranting.

Schrödinger paused and tried to remember what it was he was thinking about before he got sidetracked. Ah yes, the Captain looming in the Major's room.

The Captain, when not guarding the Major, could be found looming in everyone's room, really. Well, not so much looming. If he was in the Doctor's room, he would assist in the experiments. If he was with Tublicain, he would play cards (And lose. Everyone lost to Tublicain. And the last person that accused him of cheating they still hadn't found all the body parts of.) If he was with Rip, he would listen to opera with her. With Zorin… well, Schrödinger had his own theories about what he was doing with Zorin, based on what he could hear before Rip found him and dragged him off to listen to opera with her.

It wasn't that he minded listening to the opera, it's just that he really wanted to hear how far they were going. He was pretty sure it was the Captain that had inked the tattoos Luke Valentine had drawn up.

Hell, the Captain was even to be found with the Valentine Brothers, while they had been living at the base. Either he was helping Luke translate some ancient text or he was in Jan's room, sparring with the younger hot blood.

"Well, watching him do it is one thing, but participating with him? Some might argue that you're too old to try learning something new like that."

Schrödinger tried to remember what the Captain was doing when he was in his room. Despite his looming prescence, Schödinger tended to not notice that the Captain was there when he appeared. The man was unusually stealthy for someone his size. Schrödinger supposed that his inability to speak might somehow be related.

It was usually when he was playing video games that Schrödinger would notice the Captain in his room. He would beat a boss, reach the next level, achieve something, and he would jump up in victory. It was during this victory dance that he would turn around and notice that the Captain was behind him. He would look at Schrödinger, nod, and continue to watch the game.

"Ahem," Death said.

Schrödinger looked up to see the Captain and the Grim Reaper standing over him. "We're done." The Captain nodded and walked through the door.

Schrödinger got up to leave when he felt Death's bony hand on his shoulder. "Try not to beat him too hard at it the first time, alright? I mean, old people never like being shown up by young ones."

Schrödinger stared up at the Grim Reaper for a moment before comprhension flashed across his face.

"Wait, did he buy me Mario Kart Racing?"