Note: I own nothing related to Constantine or Hellblazer, etc. Chas drags John shopping for food at a local supermarket. What could happen? OH, YOU'LL SEE!

Soupernatural

Aisle Two: Soups, Crackers, Pre-Packaged Meals

When John rounded the bend with Balthazar and the cart hot on his heels, he discovered Chas buried up to his waist in soup cans. Evidently he'd dislodged the entire display, and as a result, was trapped in the mountain of Cream-Of-Mushroom and Chicken Noodle Soup containers.

Balthazar snickered as John waded through the mess to get to the still-stunned Chas.

"What were you thinking!" John hissed, trying to dislodge some of the smaller cans.

Chas grinned sheepishly. "I don't know." he said. "But the one on the bottom looked the best..."

Balthazar was clutching at his middle while laughing so hard he was bent over in a very human-like gesture. He was nearly howling with laughter at this point, and didn't notice when John chucked a can at him.

It hit him on top of his neatly coifed hairstyle, knocking him forwards into his cart.

"Ouch!"

John rolled his eyes and grabbed ahold of Chas' arm.

"C'mon, kid." he grunted and pulled up. Chas was lifted free of the cans and John slung him over his shoulders like he was carrying a sack of potatoes. With his other hand he pushed the cart (which had never been in the way) forwards and waded his way out of the canned mishap.

Balthazar was rubbing his head and scowling as John set a very giddy Chas down on his feet.

"You were carrying me, John!" he laughed.

"I know that." he growled, "I happen to be the one who was doing the carrying."

"That was fun, let's do it again!" Chas nearly giggled as he spoke.

John put a hand on his forehead. "Are you sure some of those cans didn't hit your head?"

"Nope!"

John sighed and pushed the cart past Balthazar, who was still snickering.

"..." Balthazar gave him a look and a wink as he walked by. "You are such a - "

"You are reading FAR too much into this, damnable half-breed." John said menacingly. (so are many Chastine fangirls, I think...)

"Oh am I?" Balthazar laughed, looking back at Chas who was struggling to keep up with their pace. The walk became a race and the two of them didn't look up until it was too late.

"Aie!"

They rocketed into another person this time, knocking her off her feet.

"Oh, we're so sorry ma'am..." Chas helped the little old lady up again.

"They're behaving very badly." she said, squinting at Balthazar, who was leaning on the handlbar, smiling sheepishly; and John, who just looked mad. "They must be punished!" she raised her cane and twirled it menacingly about.

John ducked just in time, but the cane hit Balthazar in the side of the head and knocked him sideways into the Kraft Dinner shelf.

"Yahhhh!" he exclaimed, as she continued to beat him with her cane, trying to push her off.

She managed to get in a few good whacks, then sniffed and strode off.

He shook his head and struggled to stand up. "Ugh..."

John laughed and smirked. "Serves you right."

The little old lady returned out of nowhere and hit John in the back of the head, pushing him into the half-breed, knocking the both of them back into the pile.

This time, it came down and buried them both underneath.

Chas yelped and jumped backwards, narrowly avoiding the downfall of boxes. They were stuck under nearly five hundred cases of Kraft Dinner.

"What a way to go..." he mused, and began to pick up boxes...

End Part Two.

Aisle Three: Frozen Foods coming soon!