A/N: Okay I have returned again. This will be my Christmas chapter and my New Year's contribution. Enjoy. However late it may be. This is also kinda long cuz I wanted to get a lot of stuff in here out the way that had to happen.

Warnings: Bleh

Pairings: 1x2, mentions of off and on 3x4

Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply

Chapter 17: Humanity's Immortality

Now I couldn't even begin to understand the ritual of this Christmas in which Quatre and Duo insisted on dragging me through. I can not remember a time when I have celebrated even a small semblance of the holiday- or any holiday as a matter of fact, but Duo insist and find myself un able to argue. Trowa simply just takes all this in, an amused glint in his eyes. One day I shall remind myself to gouge those eyesout with a dull spoon; it will only be what he deserves.

"Aww, Hee- man it really isn't that bad. I really, really wanna make the house something special for my parent's arrival and so we just have to go shopping! C'mon!"

From what I could gather from Duo's small periods of depression and occasional blocks of silence, Duo's parents haven't been home as of late. I know his dad has been gone for quite a while and he confessed to me that his mother traveled out to Long Island during the time in which his apartment was destroyed. She seemed confident that he could take care of himself and if not room with Quatre. It's obvious what he opted for.

So now his parents are returning home to spend the holidays with him, followed by a large entourage of relatives, removed cousins, and friends of the family. I have also been invited to spend the holidays with Duo's family, much to both his amusement and great joy. I find myself somewhat lifted knowing that me being with him on the holidays makes him happy.

And this is how I find myself walking through the heart of N.Y.C ducking in and out of stores. The lights are quite irritating to my eyes and I have to come to notice, that unfortunately people walk as bad as they drive, here in the city. I can not begin to count how many times someone has crossed in front of me un announced, and will not be held accountable if I just so happen to set the next person that 'accidentally' bumps into on fire- or whatever else that may cause them a pain that will amount to the agitation their in ability to walk has caused me.

Duo and Quatre take this all in stride, talking animatedly among each other while Trowa's slim form slips through the crowds with defined ease. He smirks at me in passing.

"Having fun there Heero?" He says mockingly before someone's package knocks into my shin in passing. I growl lowly, snapping my head to the side to see who dare does such a thing, but find that they have already disappeared amongst the other shoppers. Mock my words…..

"Lighten up Hee-chan, you'll soon get the hang of it." Adds in Duo, a little too cheerful for my taste. He snickers as he trips another offender in passing and I can't help but chuckle as the man who had been ready to bombard me, falls to the floor sputtering angrily. Duo grins at me, pleased with this victory and Quatre shoves Duo playfully, on the verge of tears from laughing so hard. Trowa closes his eyes and smiles to himself. The next thing I do is something I won't ever forget. I laugh. The feeling bubbles up in my throat and I can't help but let the sound ring out freely.

Everyone simply looks at me and then I stop, but everyone's also smiling. Why do they look at me like that? Blinking as if the moment is not strange enough? I decide it's best if I remain silent for a while.

For the next few moments I occupy myself with people watching, feeling somewhat relieved as I hear Quatre start back up with his laughing and chattering followed by Duo's animated responses.

I can practically visualize Trowa with that steady look of amusement painted onto his features as if he was born with the damn expression. Then again for all I know maybe he was. I never even implied that I knew anything about Trowa. The fact was that I didn't. Only a few simple things here and there with the addition of a secret or two. But all I remember of Trowa is that right before my supposed decommissioning he showed up and when I awoke again there he was. I suppose he must have been my guardian of sorts but…….

I sometimes wonder why Trowa carries that expression. It's like he's walking on sunshine and not a thing in the world can bother of phase him. Even when he sat curled up in the corner of that ratty motel he still seemed so at peace. Like he didn't care that his stomach was eating itself inside out from starvation.

I sigh tiredly to myself and decide that mentally trying to dissect Trowa isn't going to help me in the any way, shape, or form.

What came over me? That's the question I should be asking. Why did I suddenly feel the urge to just (cringe) giggle like that. I mean, ok the scene in itself was quite amusing but usually a chuckle would have sufficed.

Suddenly I feel someone pull under my arm and look down, surprised to Duo snuggling slightly into my side. He adjusts my arm around his shoulder and beams up at me, un caring of the looks those offended cast at us in passing.

"You know Hee-chan; you don't have to be afraid to laugh with me." He says humbly, peeking up from under his bangs impishly.

And from the way he says that and the look he gives and just the over all feeling I get from him…….I know I don't. He gives me a small smile and continues the walk, molded into my side as such, even while bickering with Quatre or poking fun at Trowa. With all of this, I can't help but feel relaxed and let Trowa's own solid expression of amusement seeps into my features. All of the sudden, I feel……..light.

So if Duo can give me laughter, make me feel like more than jus the world's biggest bastard, than shouldn't I be able to give him something this Christmas? And if so, what? I sighed inwardly as my mind became plagued with ideas of Duo's Christmas present.

For the rest of the outing I began turning over in my head what would be special enough to give Duo on Christmas day. It was quite troubling.

Duo seemed like the kind of person who would make use of and appreciate any gift he received, no matter how ridiculous or bizarre it was, but I wanted to get him something he would really enjoy and be fascinated with. Something he wouldn't have to wreck his brain finding a use for. It would have to be special.

/She smiled brightly as she tried to peer through the hands placed firmly over her eyes.

"Metrian!" She squealed playfully as a warm cheek nuzzled lovingly into her neck.

"You'll like this." He whispered lightly into her ear before continuing to push her in an unknown direction. The wind blew across the oasis causing the water to ripple and grass to away. The scent in the air was a rare aroma, smelling of sweet grass and desert flowers. It was a paradise on the outskirts of the hectic bustling city just below the hills.

She could hear the soft trickling of water and tried to visualize where they were in what could be described as notthe vainest of attempts. Finally she felt herself being pulled to a stop and the trickling was far away. Almost. The hands were removed from her eyes and she felt her breath catch in a slight sound of wonder. Metrian was pleased as he caught her reaction, resting his hands on her shoulders and holding her to him.

"Oh Metrian…"/

I shook my head of the memory and concentrated on the task at hand. Though I couldn't help but think how much she'd love all of this if she were here. But then again, I already know why she's not and that's entirely her fault. I frowned to myself.

"What up, Heero?" Duo asked, a slight tone of concern seeping through the words. I merely shook my head and gave a small smile.

The rest of the evening was spent in the same manner as I accompanied Duo to spread his Christmas greetings to strangers and friends alike. We spent so many hours shopping for miscellaneous things that by the fourth hour I was ready to just attack the next bench we passed and rebel against the slightest of idea of another candy coated, soft drink sponsored cash pit they had the nerve to call a store. Damn Times Square, nothing but people people people…….

(X)(x)(X)

I looked at the apartment, pleased with the final touches. Now it looked like someone actually lived here! Hurrah! (throws up confetti).

My mind is turning over all the different ways one can make the Eve of Christmas Eve enjoyable. I've already thought of at least 3, all involving a dark haired, blue eyed, stoic vampire (drool)

…………who is currently not present.

I couldn't wait until Heero finally returned from wherever the hell he went off to. He'd spent the last two days running out, back and forth to some un known place and though it made me suspicious Heero said I'd be pleased with results. I haven't known Heero to be a liar as of yet so I'll simply go along. I don't believe lying is part of his nature. Even if he was a bit of bastard at some point in time, he wouldn't feel the need to lie about it. It's like when I feel like being an asshole. I don't need an excuse to act like one I'll just act like one and have a hell of a time doing it. I believe this same principle is what Heero un knowingly lives by. Go figure.

Quatre was almost ecstatic when he heard his family was journeying to their place in Texas for the holidays. According to him now he could use that as an excuse not to go spend the holidays with them. I also feel the need to mention that the last line mentioned was a quote of his exact words. That Winner kid, I tell ya…..

"It's not that I don't like my family Duo," he began thoughtfully "I just don't care to spend time with them as a whole." He had said "Besides I'm not too fond of the heat." That topic was ended on a perky note and I dared not venture further into and beyond it, being that I am a full time member of the All Things Safe and Self Preserving Syndicate or the A.T.S.S.P.S for short. (I'd join if I were you. You learn important skills like avoiding bodily harm or even mental and emotional injury and devastation. Call today and we can give you a 2 month membership free!).

So it was the holidays, everything seemed to be happy and free going enough. It's all a 16 year old who'd been forced through an emotional rollercoaster all week long could hope for. Wufei and Sally had stopped by to make sure all was well while presenting me with a (gasp) Red Velvet cake (1), especially made by Sally. It's also topped with cream cheese frosting (drools) and I couldn't help but squeal inwardly as Wufei handed it to me, a knowing smirk playing on his lips, complimenting the bright smile Sally wore upon her own face. They look so much like a couple, but something says I should save that conversation for another day most likely. Now is that a way to say Merry Christmas or what?

I feel special (beams).

I in turn handed them their present (which I'm sure they'll get a HUGE kick out of…snickers) and wished them the best on their holiday excursions and so on. Wufei took the parcel eyeing me wearily before giving his own best wishes and other broo ha ha in response and making his way out the door. He had eyed me warningly over his shoulder as he strutted down the hallway and I couldn't help but fall to the floor in a fit of giggles the minute the door was closed.

As I flopped down on a nearby I sofa I sighed in slight contentment. This is all I wanted. Blissful, silent, contented, happiness. The kind I should have right?

I mean I know I'm 16 and when one thing happens that interrupts a teens life in the most dramatic way possible the first thing that comes to one's mind is: I shouldn't have to go through this. I'm only (insert age). And now I can only wonder, what makes us too young to go through what some of us g through. Who's to say what true happiness for us is or what experiences our age group should encounter?

Ok, Ok………..maybe this argument is invalid in a case such as mines, I mean with the ancient craft and crazy sex stuff involved, just maybe it's not suitable. But who exactly says? I mean c'mon folks we can't depend on society obviously. This world is already gone to hell in hand basket. So who and what can we depend on to guide us in the right direction and be a stable pillar for us?

See this is why Heero or Quatre need to hurry and get their asses over here to this apartment cause boredom is leaving room for my mind to wander and think…..and right now thinking hurts. Especially when you're trying to be happy on what should be a nice grand Christmas Eve. No tinky, no tinky…..

I jumped up suddenly as I heard the door knob jingle and allowed myself to roll over and peak over the arm of the couch in a curious and slightly childish, manner. At least that's what it seemed like in my mind's eye.

A head full of straw blonde hair peeped around the door before the rest of the body was shoved in playfully and followed by the smaller frame of my mother. She practically glowed.

"Well I'm pleased to see your aunt's apartment is still in one piece Duo." My father said, throwing a grin I my direction.

I suddenly felt myself growing smaller and smaller. Like a kid all over again. I tumbled off the couch and greeted my family, nearly on the brink of tears. Every minute the time he was gone I had constantly wondered if he was ever coming back, and here he was. Standing in the door way.

My mom. My dad. My family…

(X)(x)(X)

My steps were lifted by purpose as I exited J's garage and walked to my car. I had just finished the last touches on what we had been toying with for the last day and half (from what it felt like) and was feeling VERY pleased with myself.

Even though Duo was suspicious of me I was determined to find some sort of remedy to that. Something to ease his mind. And I had just the thing.

I'd give it to him right before we went on our outing tonight. Duo was part of some holiday light up Alex had arranged for and I begrudgingly agreed to escort Duo along to the function. Escorting him wasn't an issue. Oh contraire. Duo going to that place and being within more than 200 feet of Alex was an issue. It wasn't an evening I looked forward to, I assure you.

Well I stopped by my place to shower and gather my thoughts, mainly stalling because of the return of Duo's family, which was today if I remembered correctly. Duo would want to spend a bit of time with them before I came out of no where to whisk him away into the unknown (as far as his parents knew anyway).

It was around 7 or so when I finally felt rested enough to pick up Quatre and then head by Duo's. I felt irked beyond belief at having to step inside what was now Alex's establishment. Something about him irked me tono end and I absolutely despised the way he looked at Duo and then looked at me as if he knew something I didn't. I had never trusted him and had no intention of starting to do so now. It's not like I had much of a reason to. Despite the fact he should've been considered my comrade after al these years...

It was a cold night and the news reportshad been droning on for the last day or so about a possible snow storm north and south of the city. Maybe an inch or two in the city. They made it seem very possible.

I hated the cold. I never had a good experience involving snow or even the slightest flurry. No memories filled with snowmen and frosted candy canes or romps in some arctic winter wonderland. Not a one. Most of my memories and experiences concerning snow were me being attacked by some elemental apparition or the other. The elements never had favored me much, now that I think of it. They were always against me like I had somehow wronged them. But I really could care less. Why go through all the extra lengths to try and gain their favor when I could learn so much more from them by constantly being tried and tested by them, only to win and come out refreshed and wiser than ever. Skill and knowledge are what I pursue and will continue to gain only by constant conflict. Besides the apparitions have always hated what they couldn't grasp...

It wasn't long before Quatre was in my car and I found myself right outside Duo's apartment, debating whether I shouldcall on my cellor actually risk going inside and conversing with his parents. By now my hands were positioned on the keys in the ignition as if ready to turn and slip them out while I stared thoughtfully at the dashboard. Quatre was in the seat beside me with his eyes closed and his head tilted back in deep slumber and I was only too grateful that he wasn't awake to burst into one of his random fits of laughter. A sigh escaped from my lips and I found myself opting for what was decent and courteous. I would duck in to say hello and then take my leave with Duo in tow. It really shouldn't be too hard.

I left Quatre in the car; not bothering to lock it, knowing that if someone dared touch my vehicle Quatre would (hopefully) be able to stop them without so much as breaking a sweat. This thought gave me a morbid sense of satisfaction and continued to do so the whole ride up the elevator and to the fourth floor where Duo's temporary home was.

I knocked on the door and chuckled in amusement as I heard Maxwell's energetic voice cackling in unison with his wife's. I heard some shuffling and then the door cracked open to show Duo's face a glow. He shrugged sheepishly before opening the door to allow me inside.

He shuffled across the floor and down the hallway, his jeans slipping under his feet and causing him to step carefully in order to avoid tripping over them.

"Be ready in a minute Heero." He cast over his shoulder neutrally before disappearing completely around the corner. I figured that the casualness he addressed me with was due to his parent's presence. We had made quite a few developments in our relationship since I had last seen his dad-or his mom for that matter.

Speaking of which, the two sat at the meager kitchen table smiling lovingly at each other while exchanging words quietly. Mrs. Maxwell giggled now and then while Solo wore the patented Maxwell grin that Duo flashes so often. After a few minutes of this behavior they finally toned down and cast a look in my direction where I stood patiently by the door, hoping Duo would return sometime soon.

"Nice to see you again…" Solo made a small continuing gesture as he searched for my name.

"Heero." I supplied for him and he simply nodded and talked over me in an attempt to shrug off his forgetfulness.

"Heero, yea. See I told you I could remember." His wife simply pushed him playfully in the shoulder before casting a sympathetic smile towards me. I see where Duo gets his sense of humor from.

"Yes it is nice to see you again Heero." Duo's mother said warmly just before Duo reappeared, his combat boots almost invisible under the baggy dark blue jeans he wore. He wore his usual black flight jacket and his cap was firmly in place over his head. Now that I thought of it, one would swear Duo was getting ready to rob a bank with the way he dressed. Either that or go blow something up. The feral gleam of gold that flashed from time to time in his eyes only added to this image.

"Aight mom, pops, I'll give you a call later okay?" He asked, a complete vision of innocence laid out so well even I could've been fooled. His dad nodded before getting up and rinsing out the mug that sat in front of him. His mother smirked.

"I trust you will. Duo?" Duo turned around to grin and bat his eye lashes coyly at his mom.

"Don't come back here with a story to tell that'll make me have to kick your ass. Hear me darling?" He tipped his cap in a mock bow.

"Will do."

(X)(x)(X)

"You're seriously gonna love what Anthony did with the place Hee-man. I mean shit he hooked it up…" Duo chattered happily as he stretched out in the back of the car and Quatre remained knocked out in the seat beside me. I mentally grimaced at the thought of the energy reserves he'd have once he's wake up. It was a very disturbing thought.

"So where's Tro-dude? He sick or sumthin? Visiting the ol family?" Duo inquired curiously.

"He's on bar duty tonight so we'll meet him there." I replied while adjusting my rear view mirror to watch Duo in the back seat. He seemed content and happy tonight. For that I too was happy. Lately I found myself trying to tap into Duo, tap into his thoughts, tap into him. He seemed simple enough at times, but that simple ness was part of the complicated being that made him who he was. Like a barrier or distraction to throw you off from the real thing. I studied him closer, taking in his laid back appearance as heeased into his black uniform -to the barest glow in his eyes that was a give away of his lineage.

His gaze was fixed outside the window before flickering up to meet mines in the mirror, violet eyes glinted mischievously, partially hidden beneath the bill of his cap.

"You should take a picture Hee-chan. It'll last longer." He sing songed, smirking. I returned my gaze to the road, a smirk tugging at the corner of my own lips.

"I'm not so sure about that. Pictures have never been able to capture the reality I wish to remember." A sympathetic murmur could be heard from the backseat.

"Awww- but why'd you have to go all technical on me for! Gee…" I snorted.

"I only stated the truth." I replied. Pictures had never really meant much to me in truth. They say that supposedly the significant slips of paper that captured memory after memory were worth a thousand words…and maybe they were. But they never could capture the feelings of the moment and that's what I wanted to remember. Feelings had become a lot more significant to me since I had met Lynx.

"Does it bother you?" Duo asked, amethyst eyes in the mirror staring at me in all seriousness.

"What, not being able to remember a feeling?" He nodded.

"Sometimes." I allowed. He remained silent the rest of the ride.

It wasn't long before we were pulling up in front of the club lot and Duo was smacking Quatre to life. Quatre was about ready to lunge at the humorous braided boy when I shined a light in his eye and suddenly he was blinking owlishly and rubbing his eyes.

"C'mon Q, rise and shine babe." Duo snickered patting the disgruntled blonde boy on the head, who in turn swatted at him doing a mock growl.

As we got out the car and I saw the outrageous line and found my mood dimming and the beginnings of a growl forming in my throat. This place reminded me of the place I'd visited not to long ago. What they were known for. What I and countless others used them for. Constantly using places like these like as our own personal hunting grounds, trying to fill in the personal voids that had become part of our beings. It was enough to make me want to get back in my car along with Duo and just drive as far away as possible.

A reminder of your many betrayals, eh, Heero? I found myself putting my mental barriers on alert when I heard the all too familiar voice of lust and deceit seeping through the back of my mind. I let my own reply shoot through to the back of my mind and catch him off guard, cold as steel.

Not today. NOT any day. I can make out a slight snort as the face cackles off into the distance, or at least that's the only way I can explain it whatever disturbing thing it usually does when it retreats for the time being.

I hadn't noticed it but during the small (and unwelcome) exchange I had been walking alongside Duo and Quatre who were busy laughing at some girl who'd just been booted.

"This is a violation of my rights!" She shrieked to the bouncer, who just turned his head and ushered another person in, obviously indifferent to the girl's tantruming.

"Tell it to someone who cares girl." He barked out a laugh with his partner and I already noticed the bouncers as two of our low ranking soldiers- the ones who liked to cause trouble.

"Watch this Q."Duo snapped his finger boastfully and strode past the huge line of people and up to the bouncer. I prepared myself to grab Duo and plead insanity in his name, already feeling the hair on the back of my neck prick up at the glares and muttered curses those on line threw at Duo (and other V.I.P's) in a fit of envy.

Duo sauntered on past the bouncer with Q excitedly in tow and I making sure no one tried to stab them in the back. Duo might as well consider himself a celebrity. I was now officially his body guard. And the sad thing was that I was protecting Duo from guys who were exactly like me- from the way I saw it anyway.

As I passed the bouncer, I growled lowly, making sure he knew to keep the looks he gave Duo in check. Looking at him was one thing, but I knew my men, and they tended to be half witted and impulsive at times. Something I wouldn't tolerate under serious circumstances.

The warm air of the club hit me in the face as we entered the entrance chamber and then opened the heavy air tight doors to immediately be assaulted by the pounding and deafening bass along with the brighter than should be legal, strobe lights.

My eyes squinted while adjusting to the lighting and I could make out the illuminated forms of women and men dancing on platforms in time to the beat.Small leather clad waiter's and waitress's strutted to and froe flirting with all they came in contact with.

I watched Duo's eyes widen slightly as he stopped a few feet from the main body of people, staring into the giant ethereal sphere centered in the middle of the ceiling, his violet eyes glowing and dancing with blue blaze. Quatre's eyes glowed in like manner as he fixed his mouth in a mischievous smirk, his fangs glinting dangerously and his eyes burning with gold. Both of them stared up at the sphere and soon I did the same, though my gaze was more of a suspicious and loathsome one compared to their expressions of awe. I didn't trust this….

"Heero you see that thing?" He whispered, still staring at it.

"I've never seen any shit like it…." Quatre purred before looking off into the people and smiling back at us.

"Well I'mma have some fun. Catch you guys later." And with that he was off and taking some lady's hand in his, already working the charm that came natural to him. The girl smiled shyly and giggled as Quatre's mouth moved.

Duo sighed beside me, looking off to where Quatre stood.

"C'mon Heero let's find Anthony." He said, pulling me through the crowds of people. Duo's hand felt tense in mines and I halted him, pulling him around to face me.

"What's wrong?" I demanded. He shook his head, staring off to the side indifferently.

"Nothing." He whispered. I scowled at him and he cocked his head to the side, tapping his foot agitatedly.

"It's noting I care to discuss here, let's just go get this thingamajig over and done with." He stated, whipping around and pulling me in the direction we were heading previously.

(X)(x)(X)

By the time I found Anthony he was ready to usher me onto the stage to do what I had to do. Him and Heero shared a nice strained conversation, their words almost detached. Heero's voice was too cold to be social. Anthony's voice was too warm to genuine. They hated each other. Point blank.

"You have the next 2 hours Duo, got it? I just need you to please the crowd, make sure everyone's happy. Do what you do best babe." He winked at me and I grinned.

"Gotcha." Just as he turned to Heero, a well manicured and feminine hand slid over his shoulder, the fire amber gold nails squeezing the tan clad shoulder casually. Anthony spun around to reveal none other than…the girl I had first seen with Heero a while ago….

"Oh Duo, this here is my associate Ms. Relena." He stepped to the side, so she could step forward. She threw a seductive glance at Heero, looking from side to side coyly before allowing the immaculately amber-gold dressed eyes to settle on me. Her blue eyes glinted gleefully, giving away the fact that she was a vamp.

"Ooooh…." She purred, placing a hand on her hip.

"So you're this Duo I've heard about." She offered a hand and Itook it, shaking it casually.

"Yep. You go to my school, right?" She made a small sniffy sound before sliding her eyes shiftily over to a still scowling Heero. He glared off into the well moving masses.

"Mmhmmm……..a senior. I was even dating Heero over here for a while." I raised my eyebrows in slight intrigue, pretending not to hear the obvious insinuation behind the words. Even pretending not to notice the way she said Heero's name. Is it just me or does it seem that everyone who has a history with Heero always says his name like that. Hm Heero? Like his name leaves a bad taste in their mouth or as if it's some kind of joke.

"Well ain't that sumthin? Sounds all well and good Mizz Rele-na." I drawled, rolling my tongue out exaggeratedly and crossing my arms. Heero chose to step in at this time and join the land of the living. He eyed Relena and I in an amused expression before nodding out to the crowd.

"I think their ready for a good song, don't you?" I could see nothing wrong, but I guess even Heero got bored. I slung my arm around Heero's shoulder and pulled myself to him, letting a sly smile spread across my lips.

"Yea I think so babe." I brought my lips to his in a devouring kiss, smiling into it as the heat I felt burning into the side of my head intensified. Well it seems someone was a bit pissed…..

I pulled back, and brought my thumb to swipe away any saliva under his bottom lip, stopping to turn my head in the direction of Anthony and Relena. Relena rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, an expression of amusement seeping in and out of her features, and tapped her little heeled foot impatiently, while Anthony whispered with one of the stage guys for a minute.

Pulling away from Heero, I stretched my arms up and out.

"Well I say we get this show on the road. You stayin back stage right Hee-babe?" Heero nodded and walked away, Relena eyeing his back in a scathing manner as he did so. Anthony followed not too far behind, holding up 3 of his fingers to indicate the time I had until I went on.

"So what they say at school is true." She sniffed. It was more a statement than a question.

"And what would 'they' be saying pray tell?" I raised my eyebrows at her, wearing a bored expression on my face. Wonder what I'd have to deal with upon returning to school following New Years. She smirked, not flipping her hair as she looked from the span of the club to my face, glowing corn flower blueeyes narrowed in a calculating satisfaction. She almost seemed dangerous……too bad I wasn't one to be too scared of such people and expressions.

"Just that you're a flaming fag. The schools new whore." She said with a blunt airiness, turning her nose up.

"Being Heero's pet doesn't do as many wonders for your name as one would think….." She added, more to herself. I seethed inwardly.

"Should I care what they say?" The words flew out my mouth, propelled by the agitation I felt at being told this.

"Besides I'm not Heero's pet. I-" She laughed, flipping her hair yet again, and crossed her arms, letting the gold bangles and other accessories around her wrist jingle and jangle with her movements.

"Then what are you Duo? Answer me that." She stated, amber gold colored nails wrapping on her arm in a know all gesture. One eyebrow quirked in a manner that amplified the classy feminine air she seemed to reek of. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"What does it look like?" I chuckled, grinning lopsidedly at her.

"I'm Heero's BOYFRIEND, lady. Hear that? Boyfriend. I need not prove my status to you." She rolled her eyes and blew out a breath.

"Duo, what do you think I was? I was the supposed girlfriend. But let me tell you something about Heero…." She lowered her voicein a conspiring manner and leaned forward, a smirk crossing her well glossed lips. I stared into her face defiantly.

"Heero doesn't have a taste for commitment. He's a wanderer Duo. Your just the flavor of the week hon." She leaned back, fixing a hand on her hip.

"And quite a strange one might I add." She shot, eyeing me condescendingly.

"Honestly I have no clue as to why Heero would just miraculously decide he's into young boys such as yourself. You're nothing special." I could feel my eye twitching in barely controlled rage as she flipped her wheat blonde hair for the un teenth time, letting questions of where I could get some gasoline and a flamethrower running through my mind. Wonder if she'd still be this smug if her hair went up in flames? Kind of difficult to be smug and confident when you look like a torced hedgehog...

My jaw remained clenched as I mentally scowled at myself for not being able toserve a direct come back. I was afraid of what'd leave my mouth and the actions I'd choose to accompany it.

"It's been nice chatting Duo. See you in a week or two." She waved goodbye letting a small smile grace her featuresas shestrut past me, making sure I caught the triumphant gleam in the light blue eyes and nice a wiff of her over expensive cologne. I grimaced.

I tried to sooth my flipping stomach and raging emotions. How many times had the same thing Relena had just said crossed my mind? I shook my head back andforth, bring my palm to cover my eyes and will away possible tears. No way would I let her get to me….

"Easy Duo, easy." I whispered to myself, clenching an unclenching my fist before my eyes, taking a deep breath, and releasing it, before running off to where I would walk on stage.

(X)(x)(X)

I sighed as I watched yet another head strong female turn her back angrily on me. What did she want me to do, lie? I had simply said I wasn't interested. Funny how they don't seem so thirsty any more once they learn I don't swing their way. SO very funny…..

The night was as alive as it could get. Everyone was in the holiday spirit and the obvious mood to party. The music kept things buzzing and jiving while all the people had to do was take it in, let it flow through their sense, and act on the rhythms, therefore bring everyone to perfect chemistry with at least one other person in this building. Seemed to be working quite fine for Quatre.

)Yea, yea…..(

I let out a mental sigh as I caught a glimpse of the blonde boy entertaining yet another girl. She seemed just as fascinated as he was amused.

During my strained relation with Quatre I had learned a few things about the vampire son of the head Winner himself: Women just couldn't do what Quatre wanted. No one could. He continued to use these girls and get what he wanted from them and the one thing he wanted had to be the odd ball who was stupid enough to deny him. Yea you had it right. Me. I swear I just wanted to pull my hair out when I thought about Quatre. He seemed like he was on a completely different plain than I was. But Quatre of course has moved on as anyone in his position would. He's too good for moping. Quatre, Quatre, Quatre, Quatre……….

Duo's soft voice floated throughout the club, his lithe form and entrancing eyes burning through the mass of people. The words of his song matched those of a familiar tune I'd heard on one of these new age albums I'd grown fond of, not to mention the weight I held in my heart and the over all feeling of not being able to be with Quatre the way I wanted.

)"Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?"(

The soft instrumentals lulled me through the hell that was my job…….. and life at this moment. I dared not turn around from the bar I was currently re arranging and working at, for fear that I'd turn around and find myself staring at Quatre yet again. Even with all these people, my eyes couldn't help but pin point and have him stand out. Everyone else just seemed to disappear except for the ethereal dream that was him.

)"Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say"(

The soft guitar rifts fell in sync with Duo's emotion filled voice. His first number had been livelier but now everyone was in a sort of cool down mode for the moment and with the almost relaxing tunes I found my mind wandering and sighed as I fell off task for the third time that night. It was time for a break.

)" How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I-"(

I threw the towel I'd been using to dry out a glass and threw it over the counter before pouring a drink to quench my bruised heart for the time being, turning around, and leaning against the bar to watch the people, uncaring as to what exactly they were doing. My eyes took all in but refused to process the images, my mind was too far away…..

) Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart (

Duo's voice grew farther and farther away, stretching with the hours dragging by. I felt almost sick at how pathetic I must've looked. Round after round of liquor passing my lips and burning down my throat, staring off forlornly into the crowd. So pathetic…….

Ever since following Heero- as I had come to know him- to this city I had carried a good amount of hope with me. Before him I had been a wanderer, searching for answers to questions no other ordinary being could understand. I don't like to think too much about the state I was in back then, but with time I soon found myself guarding over the infamous Metrian. It's funny how such a legend should need my- a simple wanderer's- guarding. But here I was watching over a man who'd been forced to forget himself until he was needed once again. This man came to be as Heero, my friend. But this Metrian….from the very beginning there was little we both could agree about, though I found his theories and musings quite fascinating at times. He was a favored comrade above all else, but never a friend. He had no desire for them and I had no need.

I remembered when Metrian had originally been decommissioned. When he told me of his fate, he had been bitter and nothing less than cold, like always. He told me it didn't matter to him and that Zechs and his organization could kiss his ass. This phoenix thing never was about them. The last confession of Metrian:

"I'm selfish, Trowa. This whole thing is more about me than they'll ever know. When I do return it will be the same. I'll smite her and those bastards if they don't let me forget. I swear it. Maybe in forgetting I can find that human piece I thought I'd find in Lynx…"

That's when he told me of Lynx and I suddenly understood. He sought out to be a mortal. To be human, live, love, and die happy just like everyone else in this world could want. Why had we been th individuals cursed to abide bythe rules of darkness and immortality? Why?

From then on it was all about gain in Zech's dark syndicate. Metrian had always been so full of anger and I could never understand why until that moment. Our kind had been jaded, cheated out of an existence that should've been ours just like anyone else's.

"Hey Tro, ya might wanna get back up on the shift. C'mon babe get your head in the game!" Mariemeia, another bartender, admonished playfully before winking at me and flirting with her current patron.

(X)(x)(X)

My foot had been tapping impatiently for the last few minutes. I was growing restless…….and bored. Could Duo hurry up?

I sat back in my chair, somewhat resigned, only bothering to show expression as Relena strutted towards me, her ensemble seeming to glow in the dim light with her eyes. She slid in the chair beside me, propping her elbow up on the table and examining her nails critically, stopping only to peer over the well manicured hand at me.

"You're pathetic Heero." She said simply, her gaze unwavering, and her nose just as high as it could ever get. I continued to watch Duo from where I sat, not really caring as to what Relena had to say at this moment. What accusations she was trying to pin on me or what ever else she was trying to unnerve me with.

"How so?" I asked, making sure my boredom was evident. She propped her head up on her elbow leaning a bit further across the table.

"Again, Heero, again? How many times must an idiot make the same mistake before he finally realizes he's an idiot?" She hissed, adding a disgusted snort, and sitting back to glare at me.

"What is with you and these goody goody mortals, Metrian? Honestly! That kids not gonna be able to handle the truth. He'll probably stab you in the back just like she did!" My jaw clenched as I had to remind myself who was speaking. It was only Relena, she knew not of what she spoke….. But then again, she must be really mortified if she had finally decided to use my name after all this time. For the first time in years in fact…..

"What is it Metrian? DO they humanize you? Is that it? Are you discontent with the existence you've been given?" I stared coldly at the martini glass she had set down and watched in morbid fascination as ice slowly crept up the sides of the glass and hummed through it, causing Relena to stop her ranting and shift her gaze to the glass. She finally scowled before flicking her wrist and causing the glass to crumple to pieces before reconstructing itself. She gave me a smug look and sneered.

"You're not the strength you were years ago Heero. Again I say: You're pathetic." She spat in a mock valley girl voice before letting a grin spread across her features

As she flicked her wrist indifferently at me, rolled her eyes, and stood to leave I grabbed her arm, and relished in the look of shock splashed upon her features. It seems she also forgot how dangerously fast I could be in the right situation. I pulled her to me and in a last ditch effort she caught herself bring her free hand to clutch at my shoulder, nails digging in sharply, but not enough toactually sraw blood or break skin like I'm guessing she wanted. I tightened my grip, noting that even if she was still a bit ignorant she had also grown in other ways. No longer did fear flash in her eyes as it had so many time when she was but a child compared to me. She stared me on defiantly and after a few minutes I finally caught the fear setting in as she tensed.

"Know this Relena….." I hissed in her ear dangerously. "Even with Lynx dead and gone you still haven't managed to fill her place. You're weak. You run your mouth too god damn much." She gasped and tightened her grip as my own threatened to break her wrist. "I may be back. But know that our past is gone and we're starting a new. This time we find the phoenix and get out. I don't give a flying fuck what's on your agenda." I bit out the last words and switched my attention to the stage Duo was now in the process of leaving. She cried out softly as I cast her away from me roughly, nursing her bruised wrist and glaring hatefully at me.

"They'll be nothing to speak of later." I growled before she could utter single word formulated by that simple mind of hers and turned away to find Duo. I could hear her call tauntingly behind me.

"Is that why you constantly screw yourself over Heero? Do you envy their humanity?" She shrieked after me.

People seemed not to mind as I shoved them to the side in my pursuit of the violet eyed half breed. Before this night was over I had to give him what I had been planning to give him. Tell him what I suddenly felt needed to be said.

"Hey buddy slow down. Damn!" I spun around to find Duo grinning behind me, with a hand on his black clad hips, his perfect lithe torso on display as it peeked through the firm fitting fabric of his outfit. A small smile crept upon my lips.

"I was hoping we could step outside for a minute." I said, sticking my hands in my pocket and nodding towards where I remembered the entrance being. He raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Really? Well I was gonna do a few more songs but….for you…" He said licking his lips and sauntering past me, throwing a mischievous look over his shoulder.

"….I think I can manage a bit of something…."

(X)(x)(X)

Heero and I flung ourselves in the back of the car, my laughing making it hard for me to breath against his wet clothes. It seemed that it had started to pour while we had been inside and the heavy downfall seemed to have no intentions of letting up anytime soon.

After kicking off my boots I slid closer to Heero, trying to ignore how annoying it was to have my pants sticking to my legs, as soaked as they were. His hand reached down to finger a wet strand of hair and I swung the rest of my pony tail over my shoulder. The heavy musk scent mingled with the scent of rain and drifted through the cold car, a shiver ran up my spine.

"I brought you out here to give you something…" Heero said, looking down at me with a sort of fond look. I leaned my head against his chest and grinned.

"Mm hm…….you got me a Christmas present Heero?" I asked a bit surprised, noticing what he actually meant now that the simple question had left my mouth. I sat up and looked down at him as he smiled.

"For real?" I asked again, the question tailed by alaugh. Heero reached up and picked something out of the rear view window area, a small black box, and handed it to me. He sat up, his shoulder brushing mines before kneeing me in the butt, causing me to throw him a look as he grinned at me.

"Open it." He said propping himself up further on one arm. I looked down at the small simple black box, not really caring that it wasn't wrapped, just curious as to what Heero would get me and why he wanted me to open it now. I looked at him again, and he just stared back as calm as ever, cobalt eyes glowing bright through the darkness of the car, only illuminated by the bright lights of the club's neon sign beyond the parking lot.

Finally I slipped off the top and stared down at the peculiar object settles inside. A bangle- seemingly made of white gold- with intricate designs and inscriptions running through the thin, yet solid accessory. I fingered the engraved markings as I lifted it carefully out the box. It was extremely light.

"What's all this mean?" I asked, indicating the designs and other inscriptions. Heero took my hand in his, removing the bangle from between my finger tips and slipping it over my hand and onto my wrist. His thumbs caressed my hand and wrist, sliding over the solid metal from time to time.

"I don't know yet, as the depth of your power….and our bond increases the inscriptions will become more cleared and defined according to your being." I stared at the bangle around my wrist, taking comfort as Heero slid further behind me and his chest rested against my shoulder. He was incredibly warm and I felt that familiar tingling feeling run through my skin. The feeling that had taken the place of the burning since my first 'lesson' with Heero. His finger ran down one of my bare shoulders, leaving goose bumps in their leave.

"It's beautiful. Thank you Heero." I closed my eyes contentedly as his lips brushed my cheek and his arm squeezed me closer to him. The lips traveled down my neck and up to nibble at my ear lobe causing me let out a small snort of laughter.

Soon our actions ran with the course of the mood and I found myself half naked andstraddling Heero's thighs and lowering myself onto him, hissing as each thick inch slipped past my opening. Heero's head rested against the window and my face felt hot despite the temperature of the car as he stared into my face, his lips barely parted in pleasure. His hands gripped my hips and I cried out as the last bit of Heero was finally inside me, guiding my body to it's own wants.

My hips rocked in time with Heero's as the rain continued to beat against the window and blur together the multi color lights outside the car. Though I vaguely wondered if it wasn't just my vision giving out already.

I lifted my hips and fell back down Heero's length, his grip on my hips growing tighter as we continued to fuck each other in the back seat of his car. I threw my head back and took control as I continued to ride Heero, my hips moving up and down as fast as I could manage and my hands clamping over Heero's. The calloused pamls moved up the length of my body, traveling up torso to slip under shirt and brush my nipples, sending small shocks throughout my body.

Heero laid back, moaned loudly, and tilted his head back farther, biting his lip and watching me throughthe clouded slits of blue his eyes had been reduced to.I gave up support and brought my hands to seek out that support using Heero's shoulders. Heero's hands released my hip and reached up to cup my face as our rhythm slowed and our foreheads touched. His breath tickled my face as our noses finally touched and our lips met hesitantly yet hungrily in the heat of passion. I moaned into Heero's mouth and found the sound caught in my throat as Heero pushed back and loomed above me, thrusting into my body deeply.

Another cry escaped me as he gripped one of my legs and lifted it over his shoulder, pounding me into the backseat of his car. The heat of our bodies radiated throughout the car and before I knew it we both had reached our climax.

(X)(x)(X)

Hard cornflower blue eyes watched the figures moving together in the car, their owner smirking as a hand came to rest on her shoulder.

"Each one to his own, hm?" Relena looked up at Alex and smiled, her expression calm and pleased.

"Yes, I do believe so Alex." She said, looking up to the clouded sky out beyond the awaning she stood under.

(X)(x)(X)

The steady breathing of sated souls and the distant buzz of the club were the only sounds that held the air of the car. Heero's heart slowed from it's steady hammering in my ear after a few minutes and I felt somewhat whole. I suddenly felt compelled to say something.

"If we want this bond thing to work that means we have to be honest, right Heero?" I sighed against him. I looked up to find his eyes closed as if sleeping and nudged him softly.

"It's whatever you want. Do you want it to be truthful?" He murmured. I frowned, unsure for a minute, eyeing the glinting piece of jewlery around my wrist and smiling sadly to myself.

"I would guess so…." I whispered. He made a negative sound.

"That's not enough, Duo." The vampire I had taken to calling my own rested his chin on the top of my head and I sighed, knowing I needed to speak now before I lost the nerve.

"Heero while you were gone that week-" Tears pricked at my eyes and I focusedwearily onthe distorted lights in the window.

I moaned into the kiss feeling myself unravel as he threaded is hands through my hair, sliding his tongue against mines. I could drown myself in this feeling. This elation. Euphoria. I needed to forget, to stop being stressed and to just let go. I know I could always blame it on the drinks but I knew this was more than that.

"I was frustrated about a lot of things. A lot….. It was like on some days I was happy but there was this big black blob or some shit eating at me. I couldn't deal the way I wanted to…" Heero remained silent, his being surrounding me.

"I had an opening kind of thing to do there at the cluband you know howI get with those drinks when no one's on my back…." I gave a dry chuckle and grew more tense at the intense listening Heero was doing.

"Anthony he has this way of always being there when you're not and I'm just…." /A slut/

"You slept together." He said simply, the strength of his voice slicing through my tensions.

"No…" I said, turning my head away as a tear slid down my cheek. I wiped it away and scolded myself.

"Then what exactly are you getting at Duo? I can't imagine what else you could've done if you didn't sleep together…." His voice rose and his arms tightened around me and I just hung my head, gasping through the lump in my throat.

"No, never like that….." I said weakly. Heero pressed on.

"That term not to your liking? Would you rather I said you 'fucked'? Or maybe that's not exactly what you perceived it as. Maybe you made sweet passionate 'love', or-" I shook my head, tears spilling further down my cheeks, the only thing keeping me from falling from off the seat being Heero's steady tightening arms holding me against him.

"Oh I'm sorry for interrupting, Duo. Please continue your story." He said coldly, pulling me up and trying to force me to look at him. I resisted as best as I could, not wanting him to see that I was crying. What the fuck did I have to be crying about?

"I'm waiting Duo." He said dryly.

"That night Anthony and I almost did sleep together but just as he was about to…ya kno…" I trailed off the words leaving me

"No I don't. Care to elaborate?" My temper shot up instantly.

"Heero please! Get that stick out your ass for a minute and just listen….please…" I snapped, my voice about to crack.

"I didn't sleep with Anthony. We didn't fuck; we didn't make love….I stopped. Because I couldn't do it." I finished weakly. The car went silent, my breath stopped in my throat, time slowed and everything seemed still.

(X)(x)(X)

Duo went limp in my arms the minute my temper surged forward. I could barely smell the salt of his tears in the air and as the car went silent following the end of his confession, my anger dissipated.

You suddenly understood the meaning of Relena's question and became aware of just how much you had coveted humanity. The ability to feel and be animated the way Duo was and Lynx had been. I envied Duo's courage and character. I envied him.

Duo had been able to come through with his confession despite all consequences and you constantly ran, dodged, or speared all that rubbed you the wrong way or wasn't toyour liking. Duo still lay limp in my arms, his breaths coming in soft gasp when he wasn't sniffling now and then.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I can't get over how I feel and they way I react to things. It's stupid but can't be helped." His voice was raspy from the strain of speaking through tears.

Had I not been guilty of the same thing? Though at least Duo had the conscience to stop, but me…..I was the worst son of a bitch known to man.

And even now you're still lying to Duo. Truth. Truth is what you seem to be lacking.

Still I steeled myself and ignored the voice in my head. No it wasn't the same. I was different. Duo was different. We would never be one in the same. Duo was forgiven. It wouldn't happen again. That's all I needed to know. A smirk slipped onto my face

"I forgive you." I said pulling him to me. Duo shivered in my arms and sighed.

"Thanks." He murmured, pulling away and allowing me to kiss him deeply. Amethyst eyes glowed as he pulled away, the corners of his mouth tugging up the slightest bit.

The voice still told me I was the worst son of a bitch alive. I told myself the same.

My lies were my own self made high. I thrived off the thing I wanted to be: Untouchable yet human...

(X)(x)(X)

(1) This cake is the ultimate Holiday cake. It was my drug for the days following Christmas, but sadly I'm not the only one in my house who liked it (grumbles).

A/N: I just had to redo and finish this so I could finally move on. Review plz.