Chapter 5

Hurt

Oh, my god. I can't do this! I cannot tell him. Oh, my god! What am I doing?! Summer thought to herself nervously, okay, frantically. Well, why wouldn't she be? She was standing outside his front door, right now! And she had already rang the doorbell so she had to stay, because if she didn't she would totally be embarrassed if Seth or Ryan or one of the Cohen's saw her running out to her ca- The door opened.

"Summer? What are you doing here?" Ryan stood in the doorway, clad in only boxers and a wifebeater, looking slightly disheveled.

"Aren't you going to, like, invite me in?" Summer cocked her head to the side and waited. Ryan simply just moved away from the door. She walked in.

"Are you… okay?" Ryan asked, awkwardly. Summer turned and smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. And thanks, for earlier, Zach was-"

"It's no problem, Sum. Um, are you looking for Marissa? She's in the pool-" Ryan stopped at the look Summer was giving him, she head her eyebrows up and an amused smile on her lips.

"So, you guys made up?"

"Um, yeah."

"I'm really happy for you guys." To Ryan's surprise, Summer sounded genuine.

"Thanks, Summer. But, yeah, she's in the pool house. I know you guys had a fight, and she really wants make up and all."

"I'm not here to see Marissa, Ryan. I will call her, but I'm… just not…we said a lot of things to each other that we both know are true… but…"

"Oh, ok."

"Yeah. Sorry, I just need some time to sort things out before I can begin to really talk to her, you know?"

"Yeah, I do. And Seth's upstairs."

"I- Thanks. Get back to your girl!" Summer watched as Ryan smiled then skipped out of the room. Who knew Ryan Atwood, Chino, skipped?

Deciding not to ponder on the mystery that is Ryan, Summer skipped on over to Seth's room, momentarily forgetting the nervousness that had plagued her before.

Summer had gotten upstairs and knocked on Seth's door, but no one answered. Deciding that just barging in, uninvited, would be her best bet.

"Co-" She stopped and smiled.

Seth was lying on his bed, curled up on his side with his i-Pod turned up all the way and she could tell he was listening to Phantom Planet's By The Bed. She loved that song. She loved him. She stood there for, like, five minutes before sitting on the edge of his bed, playing with the hem of her shirt. Her outfit had taken her, like, an hour to pick out. She had tried on skirts with tanks, and dresses, and a whole bunch of other combinations until she finally realized that Seth wouldn't care what she was wearing so she through on her comfiest pair of jeans and a black muscle tee. It was simple and easy.

She still had no idea what she was going to say to Cohen when he woke up. Which was now apparently, Perfect timing, Cohen, give me, like, no time to think how I'm going to tell you I love you.

"Summer?" He practically yelled and Summer visibly winced.

"Uh, Cohen? Headphones?" Summer said in a 'duh' voice, gesturing to his ears. He got the clue and took off the head phones.

"Wh-what are you doing here? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Oh?" Seth, obviously expected a longer explanation, but Summer didn't look like she was about to offer one, instead she got comfy and lied back on his bed beside him. Ok, now, Seth was confused as hell.

Over the past few hours, Seth had given things a lot of thought. His thoughts were all jumbled, he no longer knew what he wanted. He knew he loved her, of course. But he just didn't know what to think. And then there was the whole Zach thing. What if she had slept with him? What if she loved him? What if she didn't? He knew she had a right because he left her. But he was so fucking confused.

"So…I think we should… you know… talk?" Seth slowly asked, wanting to know more about her relationship. Summer just looked at him. "Well, you know, about what happened today?"

"What about it?"

"You know, the things he said…" Seth trailed off, not really wanting to say it out loud. Summer suddenly jumped up and off the bed, while Seth uncomfortably sat up.

"Oh, my god! You think I slept with him!" Summer stated angrily. She couldn't believe this! Her perfect guy turns out to not be so perfect. He thought she had slept with Zach.

"Well, how am I supposed to know? We aren't exactly close anymore, actually we never were, even when we were dating you were distant. Hell, you could've lied about being a virgin!" Summer just stared at him in shock. Seth realized his big mistake and hurriedly tried to cover up. "That's not what I meant, Summer. I-I- that's not how… I- I'm sorry…"

Summer had stopped listening. She simply just walked out, with Seth following her down the stairs. But she still wasn't listening, she was crying, she had tears streaming down her face, but the rest of her was just calm, kind of like she sort of expected it. Like she didn't deserve happiness and that it had finally hit her.

As soon as Seth put his hand on her shoulder she just stopped.

"Don't touch me." Summer growled the words out with such raw emotion, Seth immediately backed off.

Summer left.

Seth stood there in shock. Stupid, idiot, fucking loser! What the fuck is wrong with you?! He was an idiot. That was what was wrong with him. He knew she didn't sleep with Zach. He knew he had been her first. But he had to let his damn insecurities get in the way. And now he had hurt her. So bad. She was crying. He made her cry. Sure, he'd made her cry before, but this time, he'd witnessed it. And it made him feel ten times worse.

Summer was driving fast. Really fast. Her eyes were blurry, head pounding, heart breaking. She made the left on Pine. Then the right on Maine. Drove for a mile and a half. Made a right at Mulberry Dr. Then pulled into 364. She killed the engine, but didn't get out of the car, she just sat there for a good ten minutes before deciding she was cold and tired. Only she wasn't, she just made it her reason.

She had made her way into her house and into her room without being noticed, which really wasn't an accomplishment seeing as her father was probably screwing his secretary and her stepmother was probably getting high, if not already, on prescription drugs somewhere. Summer didn't really care. All she wanted to do right now was take a bath and then cry herself to sleep, if she could.

Ok, there ya go. I should get the next chapter up before Saturday. Thanks for all the reviews they are great.