Corinthos Household-

One thing that was really good about the location of the penthouse was the fact that he could always watch the waves if he wanted to. All he needed to do was go outside on the terrace and listen. It was dark, so he couldn't necessarily see them with his own actual eyes, but the silent night of the Port Charles coastline made it so the echoes of the waves could be heard. His actual eyes may not have been able to see the waves, but in his minds eye, he could.

The wind that came from the shore carried throughout the air, brushing his uncombed hair into his face, tickling his nose. As with most costal areas, it was cold, and since it wasn't California the definition of cold was that which meant it was really, really cold. His jacket was on and he could still feel the goose bumps that were traveling up his arms. Maybe they weren't just because of the cold, maybe they were because of his nerves. He knew what he was doing and he knew that on some level it was wrong. Damian knew that Carly had a right to know who her father was. Everyone did. It was hypocritical of him to deny Carly the same thing that he wanted, but he didn't have a choice. When Damian came to Port Charles it was to find Sonny Corinthos and establish a relationship with him. If John Durant came to Port Charles it would be to bring Sonny Corinthos down, his daughter would be, at best, a secondary task. How could Carly feel about that? Damian wasn't sure, but he knew that he didn't want to see her heart get broken.

Sonny looked over at the clock as he walked down the stairs. Two in the morning. Most people would be asleep by now, but Sonny wasn't most people and sleep was something that he frequently tried to avoid. Eventually it would take a toll on his body, he knew that, but he would deal with that situation when it arrived. He was still strong enough to do what needed to be done. Strong enough to protect his family. And even if he managed to slip up a few times he knew that Jason would always be there to help him out.

Sonny was used to the rounds that he would make from time to time, just about every night, walking around the house and making sure that nobody had managed to sneak passed the guards. They were paid to keep everyone away, but Sonny knew that they were just human and that sometimes they needed to do something, like use the bathroom or get a bite to eat. He prided himself on not being the type of person who ruled his empire with an iron fist. Nobody had been killed for failing him, the only ones who had been killed were those who had betrayed him or his family. As a young man, Sonny had seen people killed for something so trivial as getting the wrong type of sandwich, or buying the wrong color tie. That world scared Sonny deeply, and although there were similar traits in the world that he occupied and the world that terrified him, Sonny made sure that he did his best to keep them as separate as possible.

Some things were usual for Sonny when it came to his nightly sweep of his home. The silence, hearing his own footsteps echo through the lifeless halls of the penthouse that he had always dreamed of having. His own little castle in the sky, a bulletproof home that was neigh impossible to penetrate, complete with a view over Port Charles that he could always look over. Some would think that he wanted to rule the entire town, but they were wrong. Sonny just wanted to live his life and provide for his family. He could have done just that completely with the coffee business alone, but deep down Sonny knew that the money of a coffee importer wasn't enough to keep his family in the wealth that he knew they deserved. If he was just a coffee importer he wouldn't be able to pay for medical school, he wouldn't be able to buy Michael whatever he wanted. The man knew what it was like to grow up wanting things, and he was not going to let his children or his wife want, they would always get. It was the least he could do for them, providing for them as a husband and father, the two most important roles in Sonny's life.

Sonny was surprised to see the terrace door partially opened. Instinctively he put his hand on the handle of his gun, thinking that someone was trying to break into the house and harm the people that he cared about. The silencer was on, enough to keep everyone unaware of what was happening, enough to make sure that Michael didn't come running down the stairs and see a bleeding corpse, his father holding a smoking gun. So far, Sonny had managed to keep the boy from realizing those things, but time wouldn't be on his side forever.

His nerves were eased the moment he looked through the glass door and saw Damian standing outside, his hands moving up and down his arms. "You know," Sonny began as he moved his jacket flap over the gun, hoping that he didn't look too obvious, "it's warmer inside, a lot warmer."

The sudden appearance of his father made his heart skip. He startled too easily, it wouldn't make him a good mobster. Not that he wanted to be one to begin with. "Dad…"

"What are you doing out here?"

"Couldn't sleep…"

Sonny made his way to the railing of the terrace, leaning against it. "Something on your mind?"

"There's always something on my mind…"

"Anything I can help with?"

He would have told Sonny everything about John Durant, but he knew he couldn't. Sonny didn't need to know, and even if he did find out he would do something that would end up hurting everyone involved. The amount of people who were being lied to just continued to stack up. Maybe Bobbie was right, maybe it was a bad idea to get him involved. He hated lying.

Sonny hated the silence that his son so frequently managed to encompass. It was an obvious trait inherited from Sonny himself, and the mobster was quickly seeing just how infuriating it must have been to people like Carly and Courtney. Only Jason merited infrequent silence, which showed something about their relationship, but Sonny trusted Jason with the details that he knew would just harm his wife and his little sister. His silence was to protect them, nothing more.

Finally, Damian spoke, continuing to gaze into the dark space that was all he could see with his eyes. "I used to stay up like this back in Los Angeles…"

"Well, the frequent echoes of gunshots and police sirens will do that to a person…"

"It wasn't like that… at least not all the time."

"Your mother must have been terrified of raising you there…" Sonny wouldn't raise his children in Los Angeles, even if he was the person that he was in Port Charles. Los Angeles was just too big, there were too many things that could go wrong, almost no way to keep the children safe.

"It never really came up," he said. "I think she was just happy that she had someone that she could depend on. If my grandparents weren't there I don't know what we would have done. I mean, I know single mothers aren't that rare nowadays, and they weren't when I was a kid, but it's still hard to do everything if you're alone, and she always wanted to spend as much time with me as she could…"

"To make up for not having a father…"

"She never spoke ill of you, dad, I told you that." She never really spoke of him, period. But he had seen a few other single mothers who were always speaking horribly about the men that had gotten them pregnant. Ana-Maria wasn't like that. She obviously understood that Sonny had as little choice in the matter as she did, and she couldn't hold it against him. They were both nothing more than victims of circumstance.

"She might have thought it, though."

"Neither of us can be certain of what my mother was thinking. I knew her better than just about anyone, but even I didn't know her that well…"

"You remind me of her."

"What?"

Sonny looked over, "You remind me of your mother. At least what I knew about her. The selflessness that you have inside of you, the way that you're willing to do anything to help the people that you care about, no matter what it does to you… you certainly didn't get that from me."

"Dad…"

"It's true, son. People like to go overboard with the type of person I am, but on some degree they're correct. I'm cold, ruthless, and there are plenty of things that I deserve to be put in jail for. I don't try and hide those facts from myself, Damian, because I can't. Each time I look in the mirror I know that I'm losing another part of what remains of my soul…"

"So why don't you just stop doing this? You have enough money now…"

"I tried to get out of the business before, remember? It almost got you killed because people assumed I was weak. I can't take that risk again. I won't take that risk on you or on anyone else. You and your brothers are the most prized possessions in my life, if I lost any of you I don't know what I would do."

"Then I guess I'll just have to keep you tethered down, won't I?"

Sonny grinned, dimples flashing for just a second, "You think you can do something like that?"

"I know I'll try…" he wasn't going to let his father spiral down into the dark pits of his mind without at least doing everything that he could to keep Sonny with him, not just for Michael and Morgan, but for himself as well.

"I used to dream about this when I was a little boy…"

"Dream about what?"

"Having a place that I could call my own, by the beach, where I could go outside and just listen to the ocean for hours. When everything seemed like it was falling apart around me, and that happened quite frequently, especially with my stepfather, it was that little dream that kept me going…"

"I'm glad that you got everything that you wanted out of life…"

"Not everything."

"What are you missing?"

"The one thing that I always wanted… I wanted my mother to try and accept me for who I was, who I am, but she never did."

"Adella loved you." He'd never called her anything other than Adella, but calling her grandma just seemed odd. If she was alive he would have gladly done it, but that wasn't possible.

"I know she loved me, Damian, but she hated who I was. Sort of like how you were in the beginning."

"I'm sure she didn't hate you."

"She hated what I did. I can't blame her."

"Dad… I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I'm sorry that you weren't able to say goodbye to your mother, but… I don't know… this isn't really my area of expertise."

"I couldn't be a good son, like you were… I couldn't make my own mother happy."

"She'd be happy of the man you are now," Damian replied. "She would see the way you are with Michael and Morgan and she would know that, even if she didn't agree with everything that you did, at the core of your being you were a man with a good heart and that you would do everything to help your children. That's all any mother can expect from her children, to be good parents."

"You're going to be a good father."

"Back up," Damian stated defensively, "I'm not about to take that plunge yet…"

Sonny chuckled, "I know you're not ready to have kids yet, Damian, but I'm just saying that when you become a father, you're going to be a good one."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know what it's like to grow up without a father, or at least one who did something good. When you lack that part of your life growing up you become the type of person who wants to do nothing more than make up for it by being the best dad you can be when your time comes. Mike and Deke may have been horrible examples for being a father, but they were perfect examples of how not to be."

"You're not a bad example… as long as I ignore the whole gun thing."

"I have to do this to protect you and your brothers…"

"I know."

"And when you become a father I'm going to have people watching your children all the time. They're still my grandchildren, they could still be used as leverage…"

"Maybe it would be best if we didn't talk about this," Damian noted. He didn't want to think about his fictional children being fictional objects for a fictional war that his father was having with his not so fictional foes. That alone was almost reason enough to get a vasectomy.

"So then what should we do?"

"Stand around and brood?"

The chuckle returned, "Now that is something that you certainly did get from me…"