Disclaimer: Never been, never will be.

Cliffs and Mountains

Legolas stood looking over the cliff face staring into the water below. The look of despair on his face showed only a tenth of the pain he felt, at the thought of loosing his dearest friend, his brother in the heart if not in blood.

He heard the voice of King Théoden beside him but it seemed as if it was from far away. "Leave the dead."

Legolas turned sharply at the words staring at the King. How could he consider leaving Aragorn behind? He swayed slightly thinking he might actually collapse. No! His mind shouted. He looked back to the swirling water below clasping the Evenstar tightly in his hand, not realizing it was cutting into the flesh of his palm. Théoden laid one hand on his shoulder. "Come." Was the only word he said before walking away.

Atavus had been asked to stay with Éowyn to get the women and children safely to Helm's Deep. She had not complained. Normally she would have jumped at the chance to do combat with the orcs and wargs, but at the time she just did not care. After arriving she realized there was a lot to be done. People were milling about aimlessly in all directions. They seemed as lost as she felt. She took directions from Éowyn until they heard calls from near the gate. "Make way for the King." She watched as the men rode in. When she saw the wounded she immediately came out of the daze she was in. She began ordering the other healers to take the wounded. She only half heard the conversation between the King and his niece, but paused as she saw Gimli walk up to Éowyn.

"Lord Aragorn?" The woman asked.

She heard the emotion in the dwarf's voice. "He fell."

Atavus stopped giving orders swallowing hard as she heard the two words. She turned looking around the courtyard. She could see the lithe figure of the Mirkwood elf disappear up a set of steps leading to the top parapets of the Keep. She looked around again at the wounded and the healers caring for them. She had a duty to perform, but it seemed as if she had forgotten everything she knew about healing. She left the courtyard following the path the elf had taken.

She was behind him by several yards, but kept following. The topmost parapet was in a half-moon shape with each end built into the rock wall of the mountain behind the keep. She saw as he quickly made his way to the mountainside and began to climb up the rock face. She followed without wavering. As she pulled herself up to the crest of the mountain she could see him sitting on a bare flat spot large enough to hold twenty men. He was looking off in the direction that they had ridden in from.

She walked over and sat a few feet away from him, not in front of him, but where he could see she was there. She also looked in the direction he did.

"Why did you follow me up here?" He asked not looking at her.

"I want to know what happened." She said turning to face him.

"Ask Gimli." He said picking up a pebble and throwing it over the edge of the mountain.

"I'm asking you." She said quietly.

"Go away and don't pretend to care now. It's too late now." He said bitterly. "I have lost my brother."

I have lost my brother too, she silently said to herself. I have lost both of you. "I deserved that, but I still believe I have the right to know." She said just as quietly as before.

"You want to know what happened. He fell off a cliff, and into a river. It swept him away." He threw another pebble as hard as he could.

"But there is a chance that he might still be alive." She said sighing deeply.

"Yes, but what do you care? Oh that's right you don't." He said sarcastically. "How could you do that to him? We spent years closer than any three people could be, and you just threw it away in a few moments time. Did we ever really mean that much to you?"

"You meant more to me than my own life Legolas. You ought to know that better than any other." She whispered.

"I thought I did. Do you know what Estel called you this morning? He called you an orc. He said that you had became what you hated the most." His words were said out of the deep painful emotions he felt for Aragorn. They were not meant to cause pain, but they struck their mark just the same.

She sucked in her breath, realizing that that must be exactly what she seemed like to them. The image of he foul orc brother flashed to the front of her mind. She saw his eyes, and realized that they contained the same dead look hers had held in recent times.

"I do care." She whispered.

"Why do you care?" He asked again this time with a defeated tone. He was tired of trying to decipher her. He wanted Estel there. Estel was better at understanding emotions. But that was not possible. Why couldn't she just leave him to his misery?

"I care because I have to believe that he will come back." She said staring at her hands. "Because I don't want the last words I ever said to him to be a lie." She looked up again, and he was shocked to see tears flowing from her eyes, and her eyes were filled with a million emotions he thought she was no longer capable of. He saw pain, despair, and guilt in their depths, and something else. She was completely lost. She was the same Atavus he had known back in Rivendell. The one who had hid her face because she was afraid he would reject her when her orc blood had taken her. "I lied when I said I didn't care anymore. I've been lying so much in the last few years that I have almost convinced myself. But the truth is I care too much. He can't be dead. It's killing me Legolas." She sobbed.

The pain and bitterness of sixty-two years were wiped away with those last four words, and the look in her eyes. Legolas immediately moved to her side pulling her close, as she cried. "I don't understand what is happening to you mellon-nin. But I will do anything possible to help you." He whispered in her ear. He needed her friendship as much as she needed his.

"It's too much for me. I've forgotten why I ever left Rivendell. The grief, the pain and suffering, and all the death are too much. I feel as if I'm adrift at sea, clinging to one wooden plank in the midst of a sea of emotion. I'm drowning. I keep trying to shut it out. I was able to do that in the dungeons of Meduseld, but now I've been thrown right back in, and it's too much. I almost wish I were still locked in that cell. It would be easier." She tried to explain.

"Atavus you have been healing, and burying people non-stop for sixty-two years now. Other healers go through this too. I have seen it. You have tried to do too much. It's threatening your sanity. The only way you can stop this is to take a break. I'm not saying this just because I want you safe, but because it's true. You need to go home. Lord Elrond can help you through this." He cupped her chin and pulled her face up so he could look into her eyes. "Please. Promise me if we survive what will happen here, that you will go back to Rivendell."

At that moment she would have promised him anything. Even though her heart was broken at the thought of losing Estel she felt safe for the first time in a long time. But then her thoughts cleared. She tried to feel if her friend was out there somewhere. She could not feel him, but she was sure if he had died she would have known it. "I will make you that promise, if you promise me one thing."

"What do you wish?" He asked.

"Estel never gave up on me in Dol Guldur, and he never gave up on you in the Misty Mountain caves. I can't give up hope for him. Please promise me you won't give up on him either." She pleaded. "It's what he would want."

He looked into her eyes again, and saw the hope there. He remembered all the times they had faced the possibility of death. They had all survived one way or the other. "I will not give up hope. You are right. Estel would never forgive us if we gave up on him. We will stay here and wait for our friend. He will come." He said moving so they both could see in the direction that he expected Aragorn to come from. He took her hand in his. She could feel the Evenstar pressed between their palms. She grasped his hand as hard as he had grasped the pendent earlier. It cut into her hand as it had his, but she didn't care. Drops of both bright red, and dark red blood mingled together on the ground between them.

Author's Note: All right Atavus is pretty much back to semi-normal. (Yes well you would all be half cracked too, if you were part orc, part elf, and besides look at who her friends are. A stubborn elf, a reckless human, a slave collector, a blood- ale brewing dwarf, and twin prankster elves. ) So please don't hurt her. See she made up with the poor little elf.

And yes before you say anything I do have a thing for blood. Don't ask if you don't want to know.