So this is a Humorous Narrative i wrote for my Creative Writing class a few weeks ago. I recently read it over and decided that it sounded decidedly Douglas Adams-ish (which would help since i was reading hitchikers at the time) So i made a few tweaks and here it is!
As a hitchiker you will no doubt have to spend time in public restrooms. The Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy has this to say about public restrooms: Avoid them at all costs.
A recent update to the Guide added this short narrative to the prestigous book:
There is always something strange about public restrooms. For instance, the constant presence of toilet paper (more often than not, used toilet paper) on the floor. It's as if someone has not yet discovered the ability within themselves to get the toilet paper actually in the toilet. Also, more often than not, if you go into a public restroom just after it has been cleaned there will be toilet paper on the floor. It really just makes you wonder.
Another public restroom oddity is the writing on the stall. Why do people do this? What do they expect us to do with this information? Today I read the inscription 'I like sex' on a stall. My thought process went thusly:
"'I like sex' … well isn't that wonderful for them…AB FAB daahhling!... who is I? … Is this here to encourage us to have sex with this person? … 'I like sex' … I'm confused … CRAP I'M LATE!"
It was altogether a confounding experience.
Another inscription you read most often is – loves – (where the –'s represent the respective persons names). What does this do? I mean yes, every person who uses this stall from the point of inscription onward now know that Jill loves Jack. But this puts a whole number of troubling questions in our minds. Such as: does Jack love Jill? Does Jack know that Jill loves him? It brings an immense worry on us that we, as human beings are not usually disposed to caring about persons that they have not interacted with for an extended period of time, cannot handle, so it is shrugged off and left for our subconscious mind to worry us about in odd dreams about clowns and man eating chocolate chip cookies.
Public restrooms are altogether stressful and often littered with cusswords and proclamations of love and liking sex. On the whole it is a fabulous learning experience. Unless of course, you don't like to learn those kinds of things. In which case I suggest you steer clear of public restrooms.
(Jack and Jill are not real persons and if they are, they are no way affiliated with each other (unless they are), Jill does not love Jack and has not written this particular fact on a stall in a public restroom (unless she has and does) and neither are in any way affiliated with the author of this piece of comical literature (unless they are). Thank you and have a nice day.)
Pleeeze review! i really hoped you liked it! on the whole it was just a random original humorous narrative but it had such a distinct Douglas Adams thing for me that i decided to tweak it a little and put it here.
Please review and dont forget to read my other fics!