Alphabet Soup
Chapter Three
Sorry this chapter took so long getting out! Thanks for getting this far, everybody, and thanks for the reviews! As always, GW is not mine! Oh, and there are a few potshots in these later chapters taken at Duo (even though he doesn't appear in this story), but it's all out of genuine affection on my part. Gotta love the mighty braided one! Enjoy!
Relena hummed cheerfully to herself as she strolled into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Her good mood was improving by the minute as she and Heero continued to look after her nephew, and she felt a sense of elation and contentment at taking care of a small child with Heero. Perhaps it was just her maternal instincts kicking in, but it felt . . . natural somehow. And she was enjoying every moment of this babysitting . . . adventure. Judging from Heero's attitude (and his earlier giggle fit), she could only assume he was enjoying it too.
Her eyes poured over the contents of the refrigerator for a moment, then she brightened as she spotted the bowl of eggs sitting on one of the shelves. Grinning, she grabbed the bowl, spun around, placed the bowl on the table, and closed the refrigerator with her foot.
Heero was watching her, his expression conveying mild amusement as she sauntered around the kitchen, humming. Alex was also staring at his aunt as she got out the ingredients for the sandwiches and plopped them on the table, but his expression was curious and slightly hopeful as he looked at the bowlful of eggs.
"You seem happy," Heero murmured, moving to stand beside Relena.
"Well, I am," she said, grinning at him. "I'm having fun. Aren't you?"
A thick eyebrow rose. ". . . Fun? I don't know about that." Heero paused and shrugged. "Well, I am enjoying this more than I had anticipated."
She laughed, eyes sparkling. "Admit it. You're having fun."
Dark blue eyed regarded her flatly. "I think 'fun' is stretching it."
Relena was going to pursue the conversation further when she felt something tugging on her skirt, and she looked down to see Alex staring up at her with his big violet eyes.
"Can I crack an egg, Aunt Relena?"
She smiled. "Sure, Alex." She took an egg from the bowl sitting in front of her and handed it to him. Alex thanked her, but when the egg was in his grasp he looked uncertainly down at it.
"Do you want to crack it on the table, or on the edge of the bowl?" asked Relena sweetly.
Alex shook his head.
Relena looked puzzled. "Well, where do you want to crack it?"
The child actually looked somewhat embarrassed. "Can I . . ." he began hesitantly, ". . . can I crack it on my head?"
Relena's eyes widened, and she heard a sound come from Heero that sounded as if the ex-Gundam pilot was either dying or had unsuccessfully tried to disguise a chuckle with a cough was now choking. She opted for the latter, seeing as how Heero never seemed to be able to die (not that she was complaining), and she began thumping the coughing man on the back.
After Heero recovered, Relena turned back to Alex with a confused look. "Alex, sweetie, why on Earth do you want to crack an egg on your head?"
Alex bit his lip. "Well, last time I saw Uncle Duo, he had hard-boiled eggs and he cracked an egg on his head," replied her nephew, his cheeks a bit rosy. "It looked like fun."
"Alex, a word from the wise," Heero said flatly, "everything Duo does is stupid, even if it looks like fun."
"Heero!" scolded Relena. "Be nice."
He shrugged as Alex frowned.
"Yeah, that's what Daddy says," he said quietly.
Heero smirked. He and Zechs had finally agreed on something.
Alex looked at Relena, his tiny brow furrowed. "I wanted to crack an egg too, but Mommy wouldn't let me," he said softly.
"Why not?"
"Mommy won't let me do what Uncle Duo does," Alex said, scuffling his feet idly as he looked back up at his aunt. "She says he's a bad influenza."
Relena bit her lip to keep from laughing. "You mean influence, sweetheart."
"Same thing," Heero said with a smirk.
Alex wasn't put off at all by his mistake; he peered up at the two adults hopefully. "Can we try, please?"
"Why would you want to do something that Duo did?" Heero asked incredulously.
"He's fun," replied Alex truthfully. "And he makes me laugh."
Heero snorted, but Relena couldn't think of any child who wouldn't love to be around someone like Duo.
"Well, sweetheart," she said seriously, "if you really want to crack an egg on your head, you're welcome to do it. Although I'm not quiet sure why your heart would be so set on it . . ."
"Can I? Really?" asked Alex hopefully.
Although Relena could not for the life of her understand why cracking an egg on his own head would bring the child so much joy, she certainly could see no harm in it.
"Sure," she replied.
Alex grinned. "Thanks, Aunt Relena!"
Heero and Relena watched as the small blond child looked down at the egg for a moment, then grabbed it in one hand and lifted it above his head. For a moment, he looked as if he was going to crack it, then he faltered. Alex's expression clouded over, and he lowered the arm holding the egg, sighing.
"What is it, Alex?" asked Relena, concerned. "Aren't you going to crack your egg?"
Alex looked uncertain. "I wanna. But . . ." (and he turned those adorable eyes up to look at her), "it might hurt!"
Relena found herself smiling. "Would you feel better if Uncle Heero cracked an egg on his head first?"
Alex paused, considering this, then his chubby face lit up. He nodded, smiling widely. Relena cast an innocent grin in Heero's direction.
"Well, Uncle Heero, did you hear that?" she asked sweetly. "Little Alex wants you to crack an egg on your head first."
Heero's lips were pressed into a thin line. "What if I don't want to?"
A warning flared through Relena's clear blue eyes. "Heero," she said slowly, "Alex wishes for you to crack an egg on your head first." And she fired him her I-used-to-be-Queen-of-the-World-so-you-have-to-obey-me look.
Heero found himself shrinking back. He wasn't afraid of Wufei's katana or Zechs' height or Duo's insanity, but when the Vice Foreign Minister of the ESUN looked at him like that, he couldn't help but feel a little . . . frightened. He sighed reluctantly and grabbed a hard-boiled egg from the bowl.
God, Heero thought grouchily. Can't we just crack the eggs on the table or something like normal people? But Alex was watching him closely, his big eyes wide with anticipation, and Relena was trying to hide an amused grin behind her hand and failing miserably.
C'mon, Yuy, you can do this. You've been shot, you've set your own broken leg without anesthetic . . . hell, you've even blown yourself up before and survived. Cracking an egg on your head's a piece of cake.
Slowly, he raised his arm and held the egg aloft for a moment, looking dubiously up at the small food item suspended in the air. Then, letting out a sigh, he closed his eyes and brought the egg down upon the top of his head.
Crack!
The shell broke harmlessly, and Heero lowered the egg, pausing for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly and peeling the shell away from the egg white. Alex stared at him anxiously.
"Didn't hurt, did it?"
"Nope."
Relena smiled at her nephew. "Are you ready to crack your egg, sweetie?"
"No."
She looked surprised. "No? Why not?"
Alex paused, looking uncertainly down at the egg nestled in his little hands. "Um . . . d'you think you could crack yours too, Aunt Relena?" he asked softly, not looking at her.
The blonde's eyes widened. "Why, sure, but you just saw He – er, Uncle Heero crack his egg, didn't you? It's just a little egg, sweetheart, it won't hurt you."
Alex looked up at her, doubt in his eyes. The child glanced cautiously at Heero and looked back at Relena, motioning for her to stoop down so he could tell her something he obviously didn't want Heero to hear.
Relena knelt down beside her nephew. "What is it, Alex?"
"Daddy says . . ." Alex began in a very loud whisper only a child would use when trying to be secretive, ". . . Daddy says that nothing can hurt Uncle Heero 'cause he's got a really hard head!"
Relena had to struggle to keep from laughing (and she heard an unmistakable snort of amusement come from Heero's direction), but she managed to remain quite serious as she placed a slim hand atop Alex's head and looked seriously at him.
"Well, Alex, I have to agree with your father on that one."
"Hey . . ." started Heero.
Relena ignored him. "But if it will make you feel better, I'll crack my egg too, okay?"
Relieved, Alex sent a dimpled grin in her direction and nodded enthusiastically, and Relena chuckled, grabbing an egg that was sitting on the table beside the bowl of eggs.
"Okay, here we go," said Relena, winking at Alex as she brought the egg above her head.
Crack!
Relena immediately realized something was different about this egg. It wasn't until she felt an odd, slimy substance running down her hair and saw the identical looks of surprise on Alex and Heero's faces that she realized what exactly was different about it.
The egg was raw.
There she was, standing in the middle of her brother's kitchen with her nephew and the man she loved, egg yolk running down her face and dripping from her hair.
No one spoke.
Heero and Alex were both watching her with wide eyes, waiting for some sort of response from the slender woman, but Relena could not speak. She did not know whether to cry or act as though nothing had happened. So, naturally, she settled for neither and instead burst out laughing.
". . . Relena?" Heero questioned cautiously.
Giggling hysterically, Relena managed to pick the big pieces of egg shell out of her hair. "Well," she said cheerfully, "I always heard raw egg was good for your hair."
Alex and Heero exchanged glances, neither of them speaking. Heero noticed that Alex had put his egg back on the table, obviously having no desire to crack his egg anymore.
Relena sighed, smiling. "I suppose I'll have to take a quick shower to wash this egg out," she said, still chuckling. "Lucrezia probably put a raw egg in with the cooked ones on accident, but just in case, you'd better not crack any more on your heads." She stopped and giggled, then looked at her companions."You think you two will be able to hold down the fort?"
Alex nodded eagerly.
Heero looked uncertain.
"Good," replied Relena, and she turned to wink at Alex. "You think you'll be able to keep Uncle Heero in line for a few minutes while I shower?"
"Yep!" replied Alex.
Heero, however, was going slightly pale. His wide eyes were focused on Relena, and there was a definite hint of something akin to fear in them. He was obviously unsure about being left alone with this child and a bit afraid of being responsible for him, even if it was for a few minutes while Relena washed the egg out of her hair.
Smiling gently, Relena took him by the arm and got on tiptoe to whisper in his ear.
"You'll be fine," she said softly. "He's only child, and I'll only take a few minutes." Then, grinning, she pulled away. "You've dealt with far more serious foes in the past."
Heero scowled at her as he suddenly had the idea that she was teasing him. "Okay, okay, I can handle this." He took her by the shoulders and ushered her in the direction of the door. "Go and get that egg out of your hair."
Relena flashed him a disarming smile as she strode to the door, and Heero sighed heavily and moved to the bowl of eggs, preparing to peel them. Relena was out the door when she heard the beginnings of a conversation, and out of curiosity, she paused at the doorframe so she could overhear.
"Hey, Uncle Heero?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you gonna fix the sandwiches?"
"Yes, I am, Alex."
"You can cook?"
"Um . . . this isn't really cooking, per se, but yes, I can cook."
"But you're not a girl!"
"Thank you. I shall take note of that."
"So . . . boys can cook too?"
"Last time I checked."
"Hey, Uncle Heero?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I help?"
". . . Sure."
Holding back a chuckle, Relena continued down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
I know, I know, this wasn't the most eventful or humorous chapter . . . but it'll get better, I promise! So please review, and I'll have the next chapter up soon!