Chapter 19: Unlocking the Past
Mara sat in her room, alone, for the second consecutive day. Having returned to active status with the fleet, Luke had been called away on some mission and was forced to leave Mara to take care of herself. Mara hadn't been completely alone since Luke's friends had made it a point to come by and bring her out for meals, but she was pretty sure that they were doing it more as a favor to Luke than out of interest in getting to know her. Leia and Han had even stayed around after dinner the evening before, but, to Mara, it felt more like a veiled attempt at an interrogation to determine if she was worthy of time with the princess's brother. Needless to say, neither woman was in an especially good mood after that conversation.
Thus, Mara found herself having a good deal of time to herself until Luke returned in a couple days from whatever mission he was on. Before his departure, Luke had given her a crash course in meditation that he wanted Mara to try out while he was away. He hoped that the Force would help bring back her missing memories. However, Mara had been unsuccessful thus far in finding anything more than detached visions. They didn't seem like actual memories, but, rather, more like looking through the eyes of another person. Mara knew they were her experiences, but they didn't feel like they belonged to her.
Stretching out her muscles, Mara sat down on the floor of her cabin and folded her legs beneath her to try once more. Mara sat for a while shifting uncomfortably as she tried to focus on her breathing. Meditation was not something she was well suited for. Mara did not like letting her awareness slip, but this was important. If she ever wanted to move on with her life, Mara had to find the memories she lost and put the demons that troubled her to rest. Mara finally stilled her body and drew the Force to her as Luke had taught her.
Mara finally felt her physical senses fade away as she entered the flow of the Force. She saw lines of energy everywhere. They flowed between the bright spots that she had come to realize were the ship's crew. It was always at this time that Mara missed Luke the most. He shined more brilliantly than everyone else with his power in the Force. Not even his sister's presence in the Force came close to the brightness that came off the Jedi Knight. Mara let these thoughts fade, however, as she turned her now Force tuned senses back to herself.
The energy of the Force carried Mara to her own bright spot and soon she found herself in an empty corridor lined with doors. She had come here before in the course of her previous meditations, but had yet to find one of the doors unlocked. Mara scanned the seemingly unending hallway, looking for something different than the last time she had been here. She found what she was looking for when one of the doors near her seemed to glow at the edges.
Mara stepped slowly toward the closed entryway and saw the glow start to pulse as she got closer. With each step forward, the door seemed to pulse as if it wasn't able to contain the energy held within anymore. Mara stopped in front of the door and traced the edge with her hand. The power seeping out of the cracks caused her fingers to tingle and Mara felt as if small sparks of electricity were running between her and whatever lied inside, but, strangely, the bolts didn't hurt.
Mara removed her hand from the edge of the door and slowly moved it to the activation pad on the side. Her arm twitched as her palm neared the smooth panel and Mara could not stop the shaking. The spasms grew worse as her hand almost reached the activation pad and Mara jerked her arm away but remained standing in front of the door. Did she really want to unleash whatever hid behind this door? Mara looked down the hallway of locked doors and back to the smooth panel at her side. Without another thought, Mara smacked her palm against the activation panel, not allowing her previous hesitation to return.
The door hissed open violently and Mara was thrown to the floor as the violent energy held within was unleashed. A bolt of white energy came out of the blackness before her and Mara threw her head back to scream as the power hit her, but no sound came out. Instead, Mara was paralyzed as the energy coursed through her until finally dissipating. Finally able to move, Mara started to stand, but went down again, holding her hands to her head.
Mara once again found herself watching as Luke stalked the Emperor at Vader's side. This time, however, she knew everything. Skywalker was killing her master. The perfect Jedi had taken up with a Sith Lord to seize power. Luke Skywalker had killed the Emperor, the one who gave her purpose. Mara felt the Emperor's death as if it was her own. The Emperor's death had to be avenged. She had to make up for her failure of not killing the Emperor's murderer before he had the chance to act. Vader was not important. He was already dead, probably killed by Skywalker as part of his power play.
"You will kill Luke Skywalker." Her Master's last command rang through Mara's head as she came out of the vision and saw the doors of the corridor unlock and open as one. Her memory flooded back to her. Every mission she had completed for the glory of her Master's Empire was clear now. She knew she had been right in pronouncing sentence. Mara was simply following orders. Evidence had been collected and her master had given her instructions. The beings she killed deserved to die. But now her purpose was gone. The Empire was nothing without its Emperor. Just as the Emperor's Han was useless without a body. But she would have revenge. Skywalker would die.
Mara came out of her meditation gasping for breath. Her memory had returned but she wasn't relieved. She now felt as if she was two people inhabiting a single body. The Emperor's Hand was battling the woman she had become and Mara didn't know who would win. Her mind screamed at her to kill Luke and love him at the same time. Unable to do anything more, Mara simply wrapped her arms around her legs and drew herself into a ball. Part of her wanted to cry while another part of her mind cried out at her to never show weakness. Perhaps she was right. Maybe it was better not to know the truth, but it was too late now. The Emperor's Hand had returned and wasn't going anywhere.