Chapter 21: Bitter Return

Luke stood in the center of his cabin, holding the bridge of his nose. He hadn't been able to find Mara since he had returned from his mission and since he wasn't even able to locate her using the Force, he was beginning to fear the worst. Something had gone wrong while he was gone. Luke stifled a small curse as he brushed his hands through his hair. He never should have left without making an attempt to make Mara open up. Even if he was unsuccessful, at least he would have made an attempt.

No longer wanting to stand, Luke walked across the room and simply fell onto the bed. He continued to lie there, staring at the ceiling, for close to an hour. During his mission, Luke had come to the conclusion that the only way things would work between Mara and him would be if he was completely open about everything. As soon as he had returned, Luke had gone straight to her cabin, ready to bare his soul, but the room was barren and empty. Mara was gone. He had made his decision too late. Luke had made a futile attempt at locating her anyway, but he knew deep down that she had left him.

Luke was finally roused from his depressed thoughts when he heard the door to his cabin hiss open. As the glowpanels in the ceiling were turned up, Luke squinted and covered his eyes with his hand. After his eyes finally adjusted to the brightness of the room, Luke turned his head to face the door. As he expected, he found Leia looking both angry and worried. In his depression, he had completely forgotten to let her know he was back. "She's gone."

Leia was surprised at Luke's response to her entrance. Normally, he would have been begging for forgiveness, swearing that he wouldn't forget to let her know he was safe ever again. This time, however, she knew there was something more. And her brother's words told Leia just what that something was. The heartbroken look on Luke's face caused any anger Leia may have had toward her brother to vanish. Luke needed his sister's support, not her criticism. "I know. She left right after you did."

Luke sat up in his bed, surprised at his sister's comment. She had seen Mara leave and hadn't done anything? "You saw her leave?"

"Yes. She said she had talked to you and asked me to get her clearance to leave. I thought you knew." The sad look on Luke's face told Leia that she had assumed wrong. Mara hadn't told Luke she was leaving at all and Leia hadn't even thought to question the woman. Looking at her distraught brother, Leia swore that the red haired woman would get a piece of her mind and possibly even her fist if they ever met again.

Finally, Luke shook his head. Not only had Mara left him, but she had lied to his sister in order to get away from him. She had chosen the easy path and ran away rather than facing her troubles. Luke only hoped that she found whatever she was looking for out there. He wanted to be mad at Mara, but he didn't have it in his heart to do so. Obviously, they just weren't meant to be.

Seeing a tear stream down her brother's face, Leia quickly crossed the room and pulled him to her. She couldn't believe that she hadn't thought to second guess Mara when she said Luke had been fine with her leaving. In fact, she hadn't even been sure that the woman was doing any more than a quick run. She had let Luke's trust in the woman sway her judgment and now Luke was hurting. Leia felt like a fool. "I'm sorry."

Luke choked on his words a few times before he was finally able to let his sister know he didn't blame her. None of this was her fault. He should have known better than to open himself up again. No woman would be able to live with him. It would be better to accept now that he was meant to live a life without that kind of love. He would have to find a purpose in other things.

The twins simply held each other for an unknown amount of time until their attention was drawn away by the sound of the door opening. Han's usual smirk quickly faded when he saw the evidence of stray tears on Leia's face as well as the bloodshot eyes of his best friend. He had come at a bad time. "What happened?"

Luke just turned to stare blankly at the floor as Leia brought Han up to speed. When Leia finished filling him in, Han brought a hand through his hair, not knowing what to say to his friend. Finally, he simple crouched down and met Luke's eyes. "If you need anything, I'm here for you Kid."

Luke simply nodded and tried to give Han a smile in gratitude, but he wasn't able to fully form the expression with his mouth. Han rose with a smirk and turned to face Leia. "I'll go tell the Admiral Luke won't be at the briefing. They sent me looking for him after he ignored his comlink."

Leia was about to agree with Han when Luke shot up from the bed and started to gather his things. He wasn't about to let his current mood keep him from making a difference. Luke pocketed his blinking comlink, already knowing what messages were awaiting him and marched out of the room, leaving a stunned Han and Leia behind him.

---

Luke sat in the back of the briefing room, keeping his gaze fixed on the holo of Coruscant dominating his field of vision. The Empire was in retreat, but in order to establish themselves as the rightful government in the galaxy, the New Republic would have to retake the capital. That would not be an easy task, however, since the Imperials had a massive defense system on the planet which would make getting troops and ships to the surface nearly impossible. Therefore, they would need to send in commandos to infiltrate the defensive positions with the help of the local resistance cells and take them out when the fleet arrives.

With the progress Admiral Ackbar's fleet was making along the Hydian Way, the time to begin their infiltration of the Imperial capital was close at hand. The New Republic had the plan and the means to retake the capital. Now it was time to execute their strategy. General Madine stepped forward to look for volunteers to infiltrate Coruscant. "As I'm sure you know, it will not be easy to enter the closely guarded capital undetected. There are many risks associated with getting on the planet, meeting your contacts and, ultimately, taking out the ground based defenses. Therefore, we are looking for volunteers to for this mission. I can't promise that you will return, but your service will never be forgotten."

A low murmur came over the room following the General's short speech. Finally, a single voice could be made out over the low rumble of soldiers and pilots. Luke Skywalker's voice. "I'll go."

All faces turned to look upon the first man to volunteer for the mission as the Jedi stood tall, hoping to inspire others to do the same. Luke made it a point to avoid meeting eyes with his sister since he could feel her anger and frustration with his decision through the Force. Many others were surprised to see Luke volunteer for a commando mission since he was best known for his skills as a pilot. General Madine chose to address that very issue as he watched the Jedi stand at the back of the room. "Commander Skywalker, wouldn't your skills be better used in the battle above Coruscant?"

"With all due respect, I am a trained Jedi Knight. I have an advantage in stealth over most. I can get in and out of the worst of the situations with less risk. And the space battle will be for nothing if we are unable to eliminate the planetary defense grid."

The General nodded, accepting Luke's arguments. Skywalker would have his way. Madine turned to face the rest of the now silent briefing room. "Any other volunteers?"

---

Following the briefing, Luke made his way quickly down the corridors of Home One, but he wasn't fast enough as he felt a hand capture his right arm and then another catch his left. Stopped with a jerk, Luke turned to face the couple detaining him. Leia was furious as Luke expected and Han just seemed curious. Obviously, he wanted to know why Luke had volunteered for the Coruscant mission.

Luke stood silently in the middle of the corridor, waiting for his sister's inevitable outburst. She wouldn't understand. No one did. This was something he had to do. It was his duty as a Jedi Knight to be a guardian of peace and justice and this would allow him to do both. And focusing on his work would allow him to dull the pain. He needed something to motivate him and now he had it.

Leia did not keep Luke waiting long before he found a finger in his face and a shouting princess in front of him. "What the hell are you thinking! You don't have to single handedly fight this war yourself. You can do so much more with your life and you're willing to throw it away on the most dangerous mission you can find!"

"I've made my decision and that's final. I don't have to explain my every move."

Luke turned to leave, but his arm was once more caught by his sister before he could leave. He didn't turn back around, but Luke cocked his head to the side to look at Leia once more. She held Han's hand in support as the smuggler remained uncharacteristically silent. He didn't want to get between the twins and Luke could see the conflict in his eyes. Luke knew that Han would still support him even if he didn't agree with his decision. The same could not be said for Leia.

Leia glared up at her brother, frustrated with his stubbornness. Apparently, it was a family trait since they both had more than enough. "Luke, running from your problems isn't going to help anything. I know you're hurting, but you can't let it cloud your better judgment."

Luke's face softened for a moment as he considered Leia's words. He wouldn't find peace going to Coruscant, but he still had to go. Luke didn't know why, but the Force was guiding him to the Imperial capital and this was something he had to do. He may be running, but he was going somewhere. Luke just didn't know where. Luke's face hardened up once more as he turned to leave his sister. "May the Force be with you."

Leia did not try to stop her brother again, instead sinking against Han's chest as he pulled her towards him. Now all she could do was hope that her brother would come back to her someday.