Kooshball Note: Finally, I've written chapter three! Yes, most fics are third person. Nearly the whole of "Not a TV show" was third person. But anyway! This one, I wanted a little bit of a romance. I think someone wanted Izzy and Radar to get together, but instead I've brought in another character. Tell me what you think.

Izzy was sitting on Radar's desk, swinging her legs and whistling the theme song to "The Simpsons", which Colonel Potter, in his office, found extremely annoying.

'Radar, if you don't cut out that whistling, you'll soon be a Private!' he roared from the depths of the office.

'What's wrong with being a Private?' Izzy yelled back, not offended by the Colonel's threat. There was quiet from Potter's side of the double doors. Izzy had been acting a little weird lately, standing up suddenly in the mess tent and leaving, muttering things under her breath, staring into space when people were talking to her, that sort of thing. If the whistling was going to be part of it, Colonel Potter didn't want to say anything just yet. Izzy continued whistling after a few seconds, jumped down from the desk and left Radar's office. She started heading towards the mess tent, sarcastically wondering if all MASH units got such fine cuisine. Halfway across the compound, she was startled by a yell.

'Incoming!' Radar shouted, a few seconds before the ambulances were heard by Izzy. They soon rolled into the compound, while everyone else was running around, trying to organise everything for a long haul in OR.

'This guy can wait a while, but get that Private into Pre op, I'll do him first,' Hawkeye yelled from the back of an ambulance.

'He's gonna be ok, right?' one of his friends asked. He was a Corporal, and the least hurt out of his group. He'd only suffered a broken arm, which Hawkeye quickly checked over.

'Yeah, he'll be fine,' Hawkeye replied, wondering why the man sounded slightly familiar. 'Hey, Izzy!'

'Yes, Hawkeye?' Izzy said, jumping into the ambulance and trying not to look at the bodies that still had to be moved out.

'Take this guy somewhere clean and out of the way, and find a nurse to set his arm. You can help them,' Hawkeye said. Izzy nodded, and stepped off the ambulance. She waited for the Corporal to get down, then led him towards the main tents.

'They'll be ok, won't they? My friends, I mean,' the Corporal said. Izzy nodded. She left him in Radar's office, and ran off to find one of the nurses. She came back a few minutes later with Nurse Kellye.

'You're in good hands, soldier,' Kellye told him.

'When will they be alright?' the Corporal asked.

'Give them a few hours,' Izzy said, holding the plaster and everything else Nurse Kellye needed.

'You're an ANZAC, aren't you?' Kellye asked. 'Australian New Zealand Army Corps, right?'

'Yeah,' the Corporal said, sounding as surprised as Izzy looked. 'How could you tell?'

'I recognized the accent. Izzy is from Australia too,' Kellye replied, nodding towards Izzy.

'I didn't notice the accent,' Izzy muttered.

'I didn't know you were an ANZAC, either. Probably because we're so used to how we talk,' the Corporal said.

'I'm not really an ANZAC,' Izzy said, but the Corporal didn't hear her. He was too busy cringing with pain as Kellye did something to his arm.

'Take him to the mess tent or somewhere, ok, Izzy?' Kellye said. 'I'm needed in OR.' Izzy nodded and Kellye walked quickly from the room. Izzy led the Corporal the mess tent and filled two trays of food. She sat down opposite the Corporal and quietly started eating.

'So what part of Australia are you from?' the Corporal asked.

'Sydney,' she said. The Corporal nodded knowingly.

'I haven't been to Sydney before. I'm a Victorian, so when I signed up, I went down to Melbourne, and they put me on a plane here,' he said. Izzy almost choked on a piece of potato.

'You signed up?' she asked, slightly shocked.

'Peer pressure. All me mates had been sucked in by the propaganda in the newspapers and dragged me into the city to sign up with them,' the Corporal said. 'No conscription in Australia like in America.'

'I'm Private Izzy Parker, by the way,' Izzy said, extending a hand.

'Corporal Xavier Millar,' the Corporal replied, shaking Izzy's hand with his uninjured arm.

'Don't forget to enjoy your stay at the 4077th MASH,' Izzy said, going back to her eating.
'Colonel, the soldier in bed nine needs to be quarantined,' Margaret was saying.

'Set up the VIP tent, then,' the Colonel said, walking away before Margaret could say anything else. The Australian soldiers weren't doing very well, with five dead, two with Post op infections and now one was contagious. Izzy was acting a little strange, and Hawkeye and BJ had been stirring Charles up recently, making the Major edgy. With the lack of personnel due to nurses on R and R, and a few gone home, it had turned into a long week. Izzy, who'd been sitting in the corner with Xavier and reading his letters from home, stood up and went over to the Colonel.

'You can use my tent for quarantine,' she said 'and I'll sleep in the Swamp.'

'The VIP tent is fine, Parker,' Margaret snapped, coming up.

'What does it matter?' Potter asked.

'I'd feel more helpful if he were moved into my tent, sir,' Izzy said. The Colonel sighed. When Izzy wanted her own way, she always played the "I'd feel more helpful if" card.

'Move him into Parker's tent,' Potter said. 'Make sure it's marked clearly as being quarantined, and move out your belongings into the Swamp.'

'Yes sir,' both Margaret and Izzy mumbled before moving off quickly.
'Why did you insist on that soldier to be put into your tent?' Margaret asked Izzy as Izzy pulled her footlocker out of the small tent.

'He's an Australian,' Izzy replied.

'So if he were a Greek, or an Englishman or from any other country, you'd have just let him stay in the VIP tent?' Margaret asked. Izzy nodded. Margaret sighed loudly, and started to nail the "quarantine" sign to the door. 'I don't understand you, Parker,' Margaret snapped angrily.

'I don't know why. Me offering my tent to the quarantine was just another example of patriotism. Wasn't that what you and Frank were always telling me to show a little more of, patriotism?' Izzy asked.

'That and a few manners,' Margaret said after a moment of silence. Both laughed quietly, hoping no-one saw them getting along together. Both had agreed months ago that being friendly to each other could ruin their reputations.
'"Dear Mother and Father",' Charles spoke slowly into the tape recorder, making sure no-one was around listening to his personal tape home. That was the problem with recordings. Someone like Hawkeye could come in any time you were recording, and ruin the whole thing. Charles had already started this letter twice because of him and BJ.

'"The girl, Izzy, has seemed preoccupied recently. No doubt Pierce and Hunnicutt know what's wrong with her, and if they don't, surely Klinger will. But something tells me they don't. The buffoons probably don't even realise there is something wrong with the Private".' Another cautious glance around.

'"I mean to find out myself, and cheer up the only person in this camp with the tastes of a Winchester, as she deserves nothing but the best offered to her..."'

'Mail!' Radar yelled, banging open the door of the Swamp.

'You idiot! You've ruined my recording!' Charles yelled. Radar beat a hasty retreat, and Charles rewound the tape he was trying so hard to record on.

'"Dear Mother and Father",' he began, a little tersely.
'So what's been bothering you lately?' Hawkeye asked Izzy as they both walked into the Swamp.

'What do you mean?' Izzy asked.

'You've been acting like there's something wrong,' Hawkeye replied, heading straight for the Still.

'There's nothing's wrong,' Izzy said a little sulkily, looking away.

'Izzy, you've been playing with your dogtags so much recently, that you can barely read them any more!' Hawkeye said exasperatedly. Izzy's hand flew straight to her dogtags when Hawkeye mentioned them, but pulled away quickly again. 'You're lucky I know your dogtags better than mine. What would happen if you were injured by a bomb or something?' Hawkeye asked. Izzy just muttered something about exaggeration before leaving. Hawkeye groaned as he sat down, closing his eyes and sipping his martini.

'Hey, Hawk,' BJ said, coming into the Swamp.

'Mmm,' Hawkeye said noncommittally.

'Do you think Izzy has been acting strange lately?' BJ continued, hanging his towel on the end of his cot.

'She has. I can't get her to say a thing, though,' Hawkeye replied, standing up to get another martini. 'She hasn't told you why she's acting weird, has she?' Hawkeye suddenly demanded, turning around to face BJ.

'If I knew what was wrong with Izzy, I'd have told you. You know that, Hawk,' BJ replied.

'Maybe if we got her drunk,' Hawkeye said thoughtfully, 'she'd tell us.'

'She'd see what you were doing from a mile away,' BJ pointed out.

'I bet Charles knows what's wrong,' Hawkeye said loudly, glancing at the third tent mate's belongings. 'He and Izzy have been chummy ever since he arrived.'

'Or Klinger. When she hasn't passed out in here from drinking, she's passed out in his tent,' BJ suggested.

'Radar always knows what's going on, maybe he knows,' Hawkeye said.

'She could have confessed something to the Father, though she hasn't confessed anything to him before,' BJ added.

'We should find out,' Hawkeye said, staring at his friend determinedly. BJ nodded in agreement.
Klinger ran into the Swamp noisily, making Izzy look up from folding up her clothes.

'Izzy! I have good news!'

'You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance by switching to GEICO?' Izzy asked without thinking.

'...What?'

'Nothing.' Izzy shook her head. She had to stop acting so weird all the time, otherwise Sidney would be called in and she might get sent home. 'Sorry, what is it?' she asked.

'Corporal Millar, Xavier, he's being shipped home in a few days,' Klinger said.

'What for?' Izzy asked, worried.

'His superiors told him that he'd done his service, and he could either sign back up or go home. He chose to go home,' Klinger explained.

'Thanks, Klinger,' Izzy said, going back to folding up her spare clothes.

'Aren't you happy?' Klinger asked.

'Sure I am. Shouldn't you be doing something? Harassing the Colonel for a discharge, making a new dress, that sort of thing?' Izzy asked. Klinger left quietly, and Izzy suddenly felt bad. Klinger was one of her friends, and she'd just shrugged him off, as if he were Frank Burns.

That night, after guard duty, Klinger went back to his tent and found a slip of paper with the word "sorry" written on it, and Izzy asleep in the corner of his tent, a bottle of alcohol still in one hand.
'Alone tonight, Izzy?' Xavier asked, coming into the Swamp the next night. Izzy looked up from sitting in her cot. She'd been flipping a book Charles had lent her. He still had this fantasy about her being well bred, literate and into all of the fancy stuff he was into. Izzy tried to keep Charles' opinion of her high by at least listening to his records and looking through his thickly bound books, even though she didn't enjoy reading or classical music.

'Yeah. Charles is on Post Op duty, Hawkeye has a date and BJ is running the projector for "Bonzo goes to College" in the mess tent,' Izzy replied.

'Why aren't you watching the movie?' Xavier asked.

'I can't stand Bonzo,' Izzy grinned.

'Want to know the truth? Neither can I,' Xavier said. Both laughed.

'Sit down and we'll hate Bonzo together,' Izzy offered. She obligingly moved her feet as Xavier sat on the foot of her cot.

'Do you miss Sydney?' he asked.

'More than I thought I would,' Izzy admitted. 'I don't have too many fond memories of it.'

'That's too bad,' Xavier said. He edged a little closer to Izzy. Her heart rate went up a little, but Izzy just ignored it.

'Want a drink from the Still?' Izzy asked.

'Will either of the Captains mind?' Xavier asked.

'They won't mind if I said it was ok,' Izzy replied.

'I'll pass,' Xavier said, smiling. 'Last time I drank was my twenty first birthday, just two months ago. I was sick for a week.'

'You're pretty young to be fighting,' Izzy commented.

'The clerk of this unit is the same age as me, and you look younger,' Xavier said. He moved up beside Izzy and gently picked up her dogtags. Izzy didn't move as he read them. 'Yep, definitely younger than me. Nearly nineteen,' Xavier said, letting the dogtags fall back down. His green eyes locked onto Izzy's brown ones, and for a moment, neither could look away. Xavier lent forward, and Izzy could feel his breath on her lips. Their lips touched gently for a second before Izzy pulled away instinctively.

'Oh, god, I've done the wrong thing, haven't I?' Xavier asked, standing up. 'I'll go now, and we can pretend nothing happened.' He started for the door, but Izzy got up and gently caught his uninjured arm.

'If Hawkeye knew about this, he'd say you'd done the wrong thing and send you back to Post op for a few days. But you haven't, I just wasn't expecting it, that's all,' she said, moving close to him. As they both sat back down on Izzy's cot, Izzy promised herself she'd stop if it looked like it was going to go too far. Half an hour later, when Charles finished Post Op duty, Izzy was pleased to note that she'd been able to keep her promise.
'Hey, Charles,' Hawkeye said, sitting on one side of Charles in the mess tent, BJ sitting on the other.

'What do you want?' Charles snarled.

'Just because we're talking to you doesn't mean we want anything, does it, Hawkeye?' BJ asked, pretending to be hurt.

'But?' Charles asked.

'In this case we do,' Hawkeye finished.

'Izzy has been acting weird,' BJ said. 'We want to know why. You talk to her a lot, do you know why she's been acting like she is, saying weird things, fiddling with her dogtags?'

'No,' Charles replied.

'Are you sure?' Hawkeye asked.

'If I knew what was wrong with the street urchin, she'd no longer be upset,' Charles said. He often called Izzy a street urchin in front of Hawkeye, because he knew it annoyed him. But Charles had a soft spot for Izzy, really. 'Now go away,' he said.

'If that's the attitude you're going to take,' Hawkeye said as both Captains stood up.

'I'll ask Klinger, you go ask Radar,' BJ suggested. Hawkeye nodded, and both left the mess tent.
'Hey, Klinger,' BJ said, stepping past a mannequin doll in Klinger's small tent. 'Have you been talking to Izzy lately?'

'Sorta. She's been acting a little weird, and I can't find out what's up with her. You wouldn't happen to know, would you?' Klinger asked eagerly.

'Actually, Klinger, that's what I was going to see you about. Hawkeye and I have seen Charles, Margaret and the rest of the camp. No-one knows what wrong with her,' BJ explained.

'Tell me when you find out, ok? I'd like to help cheer her up, you know?' Klinger said.

'Will do, Klinger,' BJ replied. He turned and went to the door, where he stopped. 'By the way, that dress would look great in green,' he said, teasingly.

'Thanks,' Klinger said sarcastically as BJ left, laughing.
'Radar,' Hawkeye said, walking briskly into the Corporal's office. 'I need to talk to you.'

'If it's about my mouse, I said I was sorry that it escaped into your cot!' Radar started angrily.

'I wanted to talk to you about Izzy,' Hawkeye said.

'Oh,' Radar said. Pause. 'What did you want to know?'

'Has she told you why she's been acting strangely lately?' Hawkeye demanded.

'Well, no,' Radar said guiltily.

'You know something, don't you?' Hawkeye said.

'Izzy never told me why she's been acting all strange and saying weird stuff, so I followed her,' Radar said.

'Tell me,' Hawkeye said.

'I shouldn't...' Radar said slowly.

'Radar, you've reduced me to giving an order. What happened when you followed her?' Hawkeye asked.

'Promise you won't get mad?' Radar asked. Hawkeye nodded impatiently. 'I saw her and that Corporal Millar together,' Radar said.

'So?' Hawkeye asked.

'They were kissing,' Radar said.

'I'll kill him,' Hawkeye said as BJ walked in.

'No luck with Klinger. Who are you killing?' BJ asked.

'Radar said he saw Izzy and Xavier together,' Hawkeye said.

'As in a date?' BJ asked bemusedly. 'I knew she'd take a fancy to someone eventually.' A glare from Hawkeye told BJ that he wasn't impressed. 'Calm down, Hawk. You've had more nurses than any of us can count, remember. You'll just have to accept that Izzy is acting like she is. Maybe it's what she needs, what's been bothering her. Maybe she just wanted ... a friend like that.'

'Maybe you should get Colonel Potter to talk to Izzy,' Radar suggested. 'He's good with stuff like that.'

'Not a bad idea, Radar,' Hawkeye said in surprise, forgetting his anger with Xavier for a moment. 'Is he in?' Radar nodded. Hawkeye and BJ walked through the double doors into the Colonel's office to talk about Izzy to Colonel Potter.
Izzy leaned casually in her chair. She knew she hadn't done anything recently to upset anyone, so she knew she couldn't be in too much trouble. Colonel Potter watched Izzy carefully for a few moments before starting to talk.

'Izzy, I don't usually talk to you on a one to one basis, I'm always to busy with Hawkeye, BJ, Klinger and the rest of them. Compared to them, you seem to have no problems at all. But recently, around the camp, people have been noticing a change in you. I know this isn't Hawkeye passing on paranoid rumours again, like when he thought you had been abducted by the North Koreans, because I've seen it in you myself. You're more distracted, making mistakes, and saying unusual things, even by your standards.

'Normally, I'd let you work it out with the others. Now, that's not negligence, I just know everyone will keep an eye on you, and another one will just make you feel too over protected. But this time, no-one knows what's wrong, and you won't tell anyone, which is disrupting the whole camp. Now, whatever is wrong, you can tell me,' he said.

'It's my birthday in a few days,' Izzy said. 'The same day Corporal Millar is heading home.' Colonel Potter was stunned for a moment.

'I don't see...' he began before realizing something. 'You're homesick, aren't you?'

'Pretty much. Considering I don't miss that much from Australia, being away from it for the first time for so long bothers me a little. The ANZAC soldiers in the Post op remind me what it's like back home. And with Xavier leaving, that's even worse. He's like no-one I ever met before. But the main thing is it's the first time in four years I've had my birthday with anyone I'd consider proper family. Maybe longer, my mother never cared, or never around. Too worried about her reputation with the neighbours. But to have my birthday on the same day Xavier leaves, the same day I arrived here, at the 4077th... it was the best present I could ask for, being landed in a fantastic bunch of people like you, by the way,' Izzy explained.

'Ah,' Potter said, seeing the light.

'But no-one knows. No-one has asked me when my birthday is, no-one's seen my files since I joined. I don't want a big fuss or anything, I just wanted someone to acknowledge my birthday, or the day I arrived here,' Izzy said.

'Do you want me to talk to Hawkeye and the others?' Potter asked.

'No, it'd just seem stupid then. Don't worry about it, I'll just sit it out,' Izzy said. After she left, Colonel Potter considered calling Radar in and telling him to spread Izzy's birthday, but decided if Izzy didn't tell anyone herself, it was her loss.
'Goodbye, Xavier,' Izzy said.

'See you later, Izzy,' Xavier said, grinning before getting into the jeep beside one of his pals. 'Give me a yell when you get back to Australia, ok?' He handed her a piece of paper with his address and phone number on it.

'The minute I'm home and the war is over,' Izzy promised. Hawkeye and BJ smiled at Xavier, glad he was heading home.

'Oh, one last thing,' Xavier said as the driver got into the jeep. 'Happy birthday.' Hawkeye and BJ almost fell over as the jeep started up, the roar of the motor blocking out Izzy's thanks. Xavier saw Izzy's mouth moving and knew it was a thank you. He saluted Izzy casually before turning around to face the front of the jeep. The jeep moved off, and Hawkeye and BJ were left to stare at Izzy.

'Your birthday?' Hawkeye said, unable to say anything else.

'Why didn't you tell us?' BJ demanded, grinning. Izzy shrugged casually, and started to walk away, whistling the theme to "The Simpsons".

Kooshball Note: Well, this ended up slightly longer than I planned it, so hopefully you aren't all too tired from reading it all. Plus it's a little rough, (or seems so to me) as I wrote different parts and different times and put it together later. Hopefully it's ok. Reviews help, so don't forget to leave one.

And thanks to MASH-NUT-4077 for the use of your quote. This chapter/fic grew from that!