Staying Strong

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: As much as I would absolutely love to own Draco Malfoy, I do not own a thing.

The lovely melody that the grandfather clock played at twelve o'clock that night, floated through Draco's room as he lay in bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling above him. He could not help but think of Hermione, and how he had treated her the day that he returned. She had only asked why he had decided to leave, and he treated her horribly, saying that he should have stayed where he was.

'Draco, mate, what were you thinking?' Draco lifted his head and dropped it back on the floor. Looking back at the window, he sighed. Everything seemed so beautiful outside of this house. He remembered when he had spent the night in the forest, the eerie sounds that would come from deep inside of the trees, how lovely the stars would look when no lights were there to interfere. As much as he wished that he could go back to that place, he knew that there were more important things, like Hermione, that he would be leaving behind. He could never do that to Hermione and his Mum again.

'You've really done it this time, mate. I don't care what Lupin says-" Draco squeezed his eyes shut. 'She's never coming back to you.' Hot tears slipped down Draco's cheeks as the negative thoughts roamed his mind. 'I went against everything that I have ever set for myself. I hurt Hermione, just as my father has to my Mum. They are right, I am more like him than I know.'

Draco turned his head towards the door and brought his hands to his face, wiping away his tears. 'What am I going to do? What will I do if I lose her? Bloody hell, I have already lost her.' Draco's heart began to quicken as he remembered the conversation that he had with Hermione when he was brought to the house.

Flashback:

Draco tried to stay calm as Hermione's words hit a nerve. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Hermione." He said through his teeth.

Hermione let out a laugh. "Well, it's too late for that. Draco," she stopped to brush away the hot tears that streamed down her cheeks. "You really don't know how much that hurt me to hear that my boyfriend has run away from Hogwarts, that he has killed someone."

"No," Draco closed his eyes. "Don't tell me that you believed the rubbish that they had told you?"

"Of course I did! Did you actually believe that things would just go back to normal, that everyone would just forget that you had just left?"

Draco shook his head. "No, Hermione, I didn't think that." he spat. "You know, maybe it would have been better if I would have stayed where I was. At least it was quiet there."

"What the bloody hell was that for?" Hermione asked, her hands on her hips.

"Forget about it, Hermione. I didn't mean it." Draco said blankly.

"Well, you know what, Draco?" Hermione's eyes grew cold. "I didn't have to stay here, wasting all of my time crying over you, waiting for you to come back...but I did." With that, Hermione turned on her heel, storming out of the room in a huff.

End of Flashback.

Draco squeezed his eyes shut as what Hermione had said, repeated in his mind: "I didn't have to stay here, wasting all of my time crying over you, waiting for you to come back...but I did."

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That next morning, Draco was taken to the Ministry, where the court would decide his fate. Hermione, having been told earlier that day that morning that Draco would be leaving, awaited anxiously at her window, Remus watching quietly from the door.

"You know that he is innocent." Remus said softly, leaning against the frame of the door. Hermione nodded, staring endlessly out the window at the lovely summers day. Remus let out a sigh, rubbing his forehead with his palm.

"You know, it's going to be very hard letting you go." He said, looking down at his shoes.

Hermione's hands moved nervously on her lap. "Why do you say that?"

Remus moved over to the bed and took a set, adjusting his jacket and shirt. "It's going to be difficult to let you go, for my feelings at this time are strong. Stronger than I could ever imagined they would be."

Hermione sighed. "Remus,"

"No," Remus held up a hand to stop her. "No, Hermione, I know that we have had this talk one too many times, but I feel as though I have to be completely honest with you in order to fully accept your decision."

Hermione looked puzzled. "What exactly was my decision?"

"Your decision was that we could never possibly be with one another, and we both agreed that it would be best if we go our separate ways."

"I really don't know what I want to do anymore." Hermione said, looking back out the window.

Remus fiddeled with his fingers, thinking what she could mean by that. "What are you talking about?"

"What I mean is that I'm not completely sure who I want to be with." Hermione pressed her head against the wall, slowly closing her eyes. "Why does love have to be so complicated?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders. "That is a question that has lingered within our minds for billions and billions of years. Love, for many, can be a beautiful thing. Only they, the loved, know the answers to the questions that we linger for, that dwell deep within us. For the lonely, like me, know nothing but the desperate feeling to be loved, the feeling of a broken heart."

"You will meet someone, Remus. I know it." Hermione said pensively.

"I have already met someone, Hermione." He replied in an affectionate tone. "But I am afraid that she does not love me as much as I would love her to."

"I'm sorry, Remus."

Remus shook his head. "There is no need to apologize, Hermione, I understand you completely."

Hermione walked over to the bed and sat down next to him, placing her hand on his. "I'm sorry that I have put you through all of this. I-I just feel like I am being pulled in all different directions. I mean, a part of me wants to forgive Draco and continue where we left off, but another part of me wants to be with you."

Taking a long, deep breath, Remus lowered his head, the feeling of guilt taking over him. "I can't make you love me, Hermione. I know that you love Draco. I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it in your presence. But I also know that there is no room for me in that heart of yours. I know this because of the fight that you and Draco had recently. You care a tremendous amount about Draco, and as much as I have heard about your fight, I am sure that if didn't care about him, you wouldn't have put up such a fight."

"I was angry at Draco because he hurt me and he just sat there like a lump on a log, not even caring that I was weeping there in front of him, just because of something stupid that he did."

"I know that he hurt you, Hermione, but that doesn't mean that you don't love him."

Hermione looked away from Remus and to the window. She knew that Remus was right, that she truly did care for Draco. It was hard to admit this, though, for the more that she opened up to Remus, the farther that he denied the truth.

"Why can't you just admit that you love me and that don't want me to be with Draco?" Hermione asked in a suddenly austere voice.

Remus was taken aback by this. "I don't understand you, Hermione. I mean, one minute you are telling me that we could never be together, and now, well, you're completely taking back everything that you said earlier."

Hermione got on her feet and walked over to the window, leaning against the wall. Out of no where, she began to break into sobs, making Remus walk over to her and wrap his arms around her, holding her close to his chest.

"I'm sorry, Hermione." He said softly, slowly rocking her in his arms.

Hermione shook her head. "No, no I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, it was good that you said what you said. It's good to get all of your feelings out in the open once in a while."

Hermione nuzzled her cheek in his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her eyes threatened to close as the slow rocking and the warmness of Remus's body comforted her. "What am I going to do, Remus?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders. "The only advise I can give you is to follow your heart. If you do that, I am more than sure that you will make the right decision."

Author's Note: Hey there! Gosh, I don't know what Hermione is going to do! She's just so dang confusing! lol. Thanks to everyone that has reviewed! Oh, and this is for Kyp: DO IT DO IT! lol that's a little joke that we have. Oh, before I go, I just wanted to say that the next chapter, or the 12th could be the last.

Love

Jess