CHAPTER FOUR
Blood and Tears

Darkness. It was everywhere. Everywhere he looked there was nothing. All was just plain black. Then something blinded him from the darkness making him face away. It was a really bright light. Then he heard noises. God, there was just too much noise that he felt like his head was going to explode.

'Why are they so noisy. I just wanted some peace. I just wanted to sleep. Why can't they just leave me alone?'

Distinctly, he heard the pumping of his own heart. It was strong, serving its purpose fully. Then something happened. It started to beat slowly. So slow that it was making him hard to breathe. It frightened him so much that he just wanted to open his eyes. But nothing happened. Every part of him doesn't want to move. Then, everything just stopped.

Jed awoke with a start after having another nightmare. He brought his hand up to wipe off trickles of sweat from his forehead. He combed his hand through his hair. He looked at the luminous digital clock on his bedside table: 4:30 a.m. Fully awake now, he stood up and proceeded to the bathroom down the hallway of the apartment.

It had been a month since he had been in Yuki Eiri's home. Actually, it wasn't really that hard to get along with a person like the author. They didn't talk that much so conversations were really not that much appreciated. He was really grateful for that because he didn't want to talk about his life to a total stranger.

He arrived at the bathroom and proceeded to the sink. He turned the knob of the faucet and let the water flow. He looked at it, mesmerized by the flowing water. Then, he cupped the water in both of his hands and splashed it to his face. He did this a couple of times and looked back at the sink. He noticed that there was something wrong with the water. It was tainted with something. He looked closely and then he finally had a clear view of it.

Blood.

He brought his hand to his nostrils and put it back to view. There it was. Blood. He looked at the mirror above the sink and looked closely at his injured nose. 'It's bleeding again. This only means one thing,' he thought as he grabbed a dark towel from the railings. He wiped the water as well as the blood from his face and strolled to the kitchen.

'A memory.'

He approached the fridge and got a beer. With that, he walked straight to the couch and plopped down on the sofa of the living room. He looked straight ahead and noticed that it was raining. He stood up and paced through the living room to the large window. He put his hand on the glass and felt the coldness traveling through him. He hadn't realized that it was so cold until that moment. Especially considering the fact that he was only wearing his boxers. He opened his can of beer and let the bitter liquid travel through his throat.

Then he heard something. Someone was crying. He looked to his right and there she was. A woman in her early twenties in her undergarments with her hands holding all of her belongings. She looked at him and quickly looked the other way avoiding his gaze.

He walked to her. He was a bit shocked to see the girl step back in response to his actions but his eyes didn't show it. "I won't hurt you. Look, take a shower. Dress up. It's still early. By the time you finished, I'll fix you up with a nice cup of tea." She looked at him disbelievingly then obeyed his advice.

Jed eyed the girl go to the bathroom and heard water running. He put his beer on the coffee table and walked to the kitchen. Like promised, he fixed her up with a steaming cup of green tea.

That was the third girl he had seen crying in the apartment early in the morning. The bastard took her home last night. It was her fault though. Jed was certain that Yuki wasn't really interested in the girl but she just kept on throwing herself into his arms every five minutes so that's what happened.

The author sleeps, the girl's heart gets broken, she cries, while Jed gives her some green tea to clear her thoughts. For the other two he had done this and that is why he is doing it to the third one too. The cycle's really stupid but as long as it didn't affect him, he didn't give a damn. He just hated to see women crying, especially those who were close to his sister's age, over a worthless guy who loves no one but himself.

"Why are you doing this?" a feminine voice spoke through the darkness of the apartment. She was fully dressed as she entered the silent kitchen while eyeing the man who just offered her a hot beverage.

"I don't know." Jed simply said as he poured the tea on a mug and gave it to her. After that, he walked back to the coffee table, retrieved his beer, and went back to observing the rain falling from the skies.

To Jed's surprise, the girl followed him and settled beside him. Standing, and like him, staring into nothingness. "I'm Ran. What's your name?" the girl asked him while looking into his brown eyes.

Jed simply looked blankly at her for a few moments then looked back out of the window.

"Just asking." The girl said as she sipped the tea silently. "Thanks, anyway, uhm... for this.. I mean, the tea... and uhm... for the... well, you know... the shower..."

"Hn." was the only thing the girl heard from him as he sipped from his can of beer.

"You won't get anything from him. He's not a sociable person." Jed recognized that deep voice. He looked to his right and he saw the blonde wearing a worn out t-shirt and a pair of pants. Yuki was leaning on the hallway while eyeing the two people who were in front of the window.

Jed simply looked at him and returned his gaze to the rain. 'Rain... Why are the angels crying again?'

"Yuki-sama..." Jed heard the girl beside him whisper. She looked down on her mug and placed it on the coffee table behind her. Jed eyed her movements from the corner of his eye. She got her bag which she left on the sofa and paced back to Jed. "Thank you." Ran smiled sweetly at him. She was about to leave when she remembered something. "You should really put something on. It's freezing. Besides, with biceps, a six-pack, and with a rock-hard chest like that, I was surprised I didn't hit on you earlier."

Jed looked at her with his piercing eyes which sent Ran goosebumps. He turned his back on her and calmly said in a deep voice, "You're welcome." Ran smiled at the simple gesture and with that, she left the apartment.

Ran was right, though. Jed had an amazing body. It was well-built but not bulky. He looked really skinny but the truth is, behind those loose clothes, was an Adonis in disguise. Yuki looked at him from head to toe. Yes, the guy in front of him is way beyond gorgeous, especially after seeing him in only his boxers. Then something happened.

Yuki was shocked to see that Jed dropped his can on the floor spilling beer on the hardwood floor. He looked at the can of beer and back to Jed. He saw him kneeling and holding his head, ready to pull his hair out. Yuki didn't really understand it, but he was worried. Really worried. He rushed to his bodyguard's side and put his arm on his waist as he guided him to the sofa.

"Jed!" Yuki almost shouted as he put his hands over his shoulders and shook him lightly. 'God, what is happening to him?'

Yuki listened to him shout in pain still with his hands on his head. He noticed that there were drops of liquid on the floor right in front of Jed. When he realized what it was - he was as scared as hell.

"Jed! Listen to me!" Now he was shouting. He really didn't care how much emotion he was showing but there was just something about the guy beside him that is making him care too much. "Jed!"

"Leave me alone! Please, just leave me alone!" Jed shouted as he pulled his hair in frustration. His eyes were closed shut that it seems like it's going at the back of his skull.

Yuki could only stare at him in horror.

With no option left, he put his strong hands on the smaller guy's shoulders and did the most unthinkable. "I'm sorry." was his final words as he closed his eyes and brought Jed closer to him.

Jed's eyes snapped open as he realized what was happening. He was kissing him. He was kissing the guy he despised so much. He stared disbelievingly at the figure so close to him. Then he felt something in him stir. It was something he never felt before but somehow it was so recognizable. He couldn't quite place it but something about it felt right. But as soon as he felt Yuki's tongue part his lips to gain entrance, he pushed back and suddenly stood up.

"What the hell did you think were you just doing?" Jed shouted at him.

"It was the only way." Yuki fired back glancing at the droplets of liquid on the floor. Jed noticed, then followed his gaze on the floor.

Then he saw it. The liquids on it. He brought his hand over his nose and there it was again. Blood. Then on his cheeks. Tears.

Blood and Tears.

Then it dawned on him. He had another one. Another one of those damned memory. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone? He is living a perfectly normal life, well, except for all the assassinations they did for a living, but still he was happy.

He wiped the blood off his nose using the back of his hand and the tears with the other. He looked straight into the blonde's amber eyes and calmly said, "Sorry... and thanks."

He went to the bathroom as he grabbed a towel and went back to the living room. He kneeled in front of the stains and quickly mopped it off, careful not to leave anything behind.

As he stood up, he heard Yuki call to him, "What was that all about?"

"It's none of your business." He simply said to him.

"It is my business. If you have some kind of a disease or something, I should know. I don't want to have a dead body delivered to my doorstep. Besides, who knows, it might be contagious." Yuki said as he settled himself on the sofa.

"I'm not sick and I'm not going to die," Jed replied with certainty in his voice, "so you don't have to worry about anything. Just do me a favor. If ever I begin to do that again, phone my sister." He walked back to the bathroom and put the towel in the laundry basket. He then proceeded to his room to prepare for another day.

As he closed the door, he sat on his bed and began refreshing his mind of what just happened. There was another one. Another memory. Of his past, of his life. But there was still nothing he can understand about it. It was all a blur. He knows one thing, though. The images he saw were all the same, or somewhat like that.

Every one of them started in darkness. Then a ray of light cut through the darkness and blinded his eyes just for a few moments. Then there was noise, a hell lot of it. Then everything just stopped. After that, he wakes up, profusely sweating and finds his nose bleeding.

He looked at the wounds on his wrist.

For so many times he had tried to stop it. He tried to stop it making him hurt so much. Everytime he remembered something, everything in him cries in agony. He just wanted it all to stop.

'These things have to end... They're fucking killing me.' Jed thought as he massaged his temples. He look at his wristwatch, he always wears one even when he was sleeping. 5:30 a.m. 'Let's see, Yuki has a breakfast meeting with his publisher this morning at around eight.' Jed thought as he remembered his client's appointments for the day.

'Yuki...'

Jed remembered what just happened earlier. He touched his lips lightly as he recalled how the older man made him feel.

'God, I'm pathetic!' He thought as he shook him of the images of Yuki forming in his head. 'I shouldn't be like this. I don't deserve to be like this.'

'There's still time. I have to get out.' And with that, he got a loose navy blue shirt and a pair of black jeans from his closet. He got his usual pair of sneakers and put them on. Then he went to see his reflection on the mirror. 'God, I look like hell...' He got a comb from the drawer and combed it through his light brown hair. He got a towel from one of his bottom drawers and patted it on his face. After all that, he took his black leather trench coat which laid on his bed and got his katana which stood beside his bed. Then he got out of his room.

"I'm going out." He said as he glanced at the author sitting on the sofa. "I'll be here before you go to your morning appointment."

"Whatever." Yuki waved his hand to signal that he didn't give a damn.

He strode to the door and opened it. But as soon as he did, his eyes grew wide.

"Jed!" Kat shouted. She was about to knock on the door when she saw her brother open it.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jed glared.

"God, I missed you so much!" She said as she hugged her brother tightly, oblivious to his stare. After that, she guided herself through the door and into the apartment. She sat on the sofa beside Yuki.

"Good morning, Yuki-san!" She cheerfully said as she smiled to Yuki. "Hn." was Yuki's reply.

"Out." Jed calmly said as he glared at Kat.

Kat pouted while crossing her arms. Then something caught her eyes. Just in front of the window was a can of beer with spilled liquid just behind it. Then she saw something which guided her eyes to the sofa. On the floor was something she couldn't quite distinguish. She stood up and brought her fingertips to the floor. She touched it and after feeling that it was still warm, she looked straight into Jed's eyes. As soon as she did, Jed looked away from her, somewhat ashamed of what she was about to say.

"I told you to get out." Jed said calmly, still refusing to meet gazes with his sister.

"Jed..." Kat said with sympathy in her voice. She stood up straight and faced Jed. "Another one?"

Jed nodded in reply with her question. "It's still the same... It's all the same." Jed looked at Yuki then back at Kat. "Look, I don't want to talk about this here. Let's get out of here."

"No." Kat said with a finality in her voice. "Why didn't you tell me anything about this? And why were you drinking beer again? I thought you already stopped. We've talked about this, Jed!" Jed was about to say something when she cut him off, "And don't you ever deny that you were just recently drinking. I doubt that Yuki-san would drink right in front of the window when it is, coincidentally, raining. I know you, Jed."

"I'm serious, Kat. Not here." He said to Kat as he glanced at the blonde sitting on the sofa.

Kat understand the pleadings of his brother and breathed deeply. "Fine," she said "c'mon." She grabbed his arm and exited the door of the apartment.

Yuki blinked in confusion as the events earlier processed in his head. 'Another what?' Something was terribly wrong. 'I told Tohma getting a bodyguard would be a bad idea.'

He stood up and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. He stripped naked and stepped into the running water. The water massaged his entire body. He looked straight to the wall as he remembered what just happened minutes ago.

When he saw Jed screaming in pain, something inside him wanted to hug the guy. He wanted to know what was hurting him so much and take it all away. But the question was why? Why was he feeling such things for a total stranger?

'Because I feel like I've know him all my life.' Great, now he sounded like one of the characters in his novels.

His lips were soft, Yuki could give him that. Although he was cold in the outside, he was burning up inside. Yuki could still feel the warmth in his own mouth. He tasted sweet and full of life. There was only one person that tasted like that.

"Shuichi..."

He shook his head violently at the thought. Jed could never compare to Shuichi. Shuichi was the man he loved. Shu was the light while Jed was dark. Shu was warm to others while Jed was the total opposite, ignoring everyone around him. Jed was far different from his Shuichi.

With that, he promised to himself that he wouldn't ever do something that would give him the chance to compare the two.

He closed his eyes and brought his head up as he felt the droplets touch his face.

Author's notes:

Yep, another one! I got the name Ran from the series Super Gals. She's like a cameo in this chapter. The bleeding? I did some research and found out that when the brain gets really worked up, one's nose just start bleeding. I'm still working on the next chapter so patience...

salamat sa lahat!