Ben tossed and turned in his bed, for once it was excitement rather than depression keeping him awake. For the first time in months he felt he had a way, or at least a plan, to make himself happy again. Monica had been right in his Lord of the Rings dream. Circumstances do eventually win, if they can't be changed. What Ben had realized after overhearing the conversation in Monica's apartment was that the circumstances between them had already changed. Also the fact was that they could be forced to change further. That was the reason why Ben chose Denver instead of CU. He could force himself to get closer to Monica Young. Close enough to see her, and even date her again. After all he was eighteen now, and she wouldn't be his teacher anymore.
The next morning the Conners sat down to breakfast, Roland started round two. "Okay son your mother and I have talked about things. First off I don't think you realize how much trouble this is going to be. It's not as simple as applying for admission and getting in. We'd have to move you down there almost immediately, I don't even know if any student dorms are still available this late. You'd have to find a job fairly fast and we'd need to apply for student loans. I don't think all of this can be done in such short order."
Ben chuckled 'you're gonna have to do better than that dad.' "Denver has a revolving admissions policy. I submitted my application on line before dinner yesterday. I should know today or tomorrow about admission and housing. Assuming I get a dorm, moving will be easy because I'll recruit Dino and Jon as grunts. Student loans that's one trip to a bank. A job, well I'll worry about that when I get there. You're not going to scare me away from this dad."
"Ben did it ever occur to you that Miss Young might not work out. Supposing she doesn't want to see you, where would that leave you?" Roland tried changing tactics.
Ben considered his answer for several moments. "There's still feelings there, lots of them for both of us. All I can say is that I've got to try. The happiest moments of my life have happened with her. So have some of the hardest, but most of that has been caused by circumstance. I'm hoping circumstances have changed enough that we can make it work."
"We're not going to talk you out of this are we?" Amanda finally entered the conversation. Ben just made a face: 'do you really need me to answer that mom.' There was a long silence as Ben shifted his eyes back and forth between his parents. At last Roland rose, folded his arms and sighed his final surrender. Ben Conner would attend Denver University.
Ben went upstairs and grabbed a notebook and pen. He began making a list of everything he had to do when the phone rang. "Hello," Ben picked it up and continued writing.
"Ben, it's Monica, can we talk?" 'So she did decide to call.'
"Yes."
"I think you're right about the talks we've had the last two days. We haven't said what we mean." It was Monica the woman, voice seductive and inviting.
"Yeah I know." Ben was purposely keeping his answers short. Monica still didn't know he'd overheard the conversation with Jane, and Ben had decided he wanted to keep that advantage in his pocket until he could see her in person.
"I think both of us still have feelings for each other. Good ones and hard ones."
"Yep." 'Where is she going with this?' Ben's eyes squinted at the receiver.
"I guess what I want to know is can we ever forgive each other? Will there ever be a time when things aren't weird between us?" Monica rubbed her eyes; this wasn't what she wanted to say.
"I would think you could answer those questions better than I could. You've been through this more." Ben felt like a politician, trying to talk without saying anything.
"Oh so our chances are that good huh." Monica couldn't help but laugh.
"I'd forgotten how delightful that sound is," Ben smiled sinfully.
"How delightful what sound is?"
"Your laugh silly." Ben could still find ways to make her feel good about herself.
"So the hard feelings, we can put those aside," Monica asked hopefully? 'God her voice could be sweet.'
"Speaking for me I have way more good memories than bad. You'll always be a special lady to me Monica Young. We both should really take the advice you gave me in New York. We're adults and we need to find a way to be happy in life." Monica shook her head as Ben spoke. This was not going like she wanted at all.
"I have more good memories too." She decided just to play things out.
"Look Monica I have things to do. One more thing and then I'll hang up. Whatever things are like, and may always be like between us, knowing you has enriched my life. I hope you feel the same. Goodbye Monica" 'For now' Ben grinned wickedly as he hung up the phone.
Monica cast her head down onto the small desk in her apartment. Her hair sprawled everywhere covering it. She pounded the desk with her left fist in frustration. 'Would they ever be able say the things they wanted and needed to say to one another?'
The next week passed without further contact from Miss Young, there were now fourteen days until the fall semester started. It was a perfect northwest summer day. Sun high in the sky chasing away clouds, allowing a blanket of Carolina blue to cover Seattle. It was moving day, and the Conner house was a frenzy of activity. Duffle bags and backpacks were loaded and stacked in the living room. Boxes were stacked on the front lawn. Ben, Dino, and Jonathan stood outside the front door staring at the mass of cardboard. 'Eighteen years of existence crated and ready to be shipped.' The three were numb, unable to speak to one another. Together since grade school, none could remember life without the other two. Each had their own plans: Dino would attend community college in Seattle, attempt to get his grades in order and revive his hockey career. Jonathan would attend UW and major in photography. He'd already lined up an internship as a photographer for the student newspaper. Until this moment however none had ever considered that their plans might take them in different directions. Waiting for Roland to return with the moving truck left the boys nothing but time to entertain these thoughts. Ben was starting to understand that his grand ideas about seeing Monica again had clouded his judgment. The thought of leaving Dino and Jonathan behind made the life altering nature of his decision hit him. For the first time since he'd made it, Ben was questioning his decision to leave.
"Are you sure about this?" Dino was the first to summon the nerve to speak.
"For the fifteen-thousandth time yes." His uncertainty caused Ben to snap at his friend.
Jonathan fired the next salvo. "Look Ben we all know Miss Young is beyond hot. You better then any of us, but still think about what you're doing here. Uprooting and moving your life thirteen-hundred miles southeast because you're horny."
Ben glared at his friends, "Guys what I'm about to say may sound crazy, but I need her. I haven't always been happy with her, but I'm sure unhappy without her."
Mercifully Roland rounded the corner with the moving truck, breaking up the conversation. The boys turned their attention away from each other and dutifully started loading the truck along with Roland and Amanda. With five sets of hands the job went quickly. As Roland closed and latched the moving truck the three boys stood in front yard staring at one another. They wanted to hug each other, but their male egos resisted. Each of the three was straining to control their emotions. "So this is goodbye," Jonathan looked down at his feet as he said it.
"This is until next time. I'll be back for the holidays after the first semester." Ben looked down also.
"Okay I guess I can handle that." Dino tried to sound cheerful.
"Ben time to get going" Roland shouted while honking the truck horn.
The three boys formed a huddle and put their arms around one another. Jonathan pulled Ben's ear to his face and whispered "You're giving up everything for this dude. Don't come back without her."
"Right On," Dino slapped Ben's backside as he walked away. Like a coach sending a player in for a critical play. The two boys watched Ben climb into the SAAB along with Amanda. They turned their heads in unison watching the truck and car disappear down the street. Dino turned back to Jonathan. "The cliff Ben just jumped off of, how high you think it is?"
"I'm sure he'll find out." Jonathan replied, his voice showed his uncertainty.